Chapter Thirty-One #2
“I guess. I’m still not quite sure why he attached himself to you of all people.
” She paused her pursuit towards me, her nose scrunching as she pushed her gloved fists into her hips.
“Not because you aren’t worthy of obsession, you have mine after all, but what was it that day that had him ready to give everything up?
Did he know something we didn’t? Something that told him he could trust you even when he didn’t trust us?
Why leave us when we’d always been together? ”
I closed the remaining distance between us, needing to feel her. As soon as my arms wrapped around her, I felt peace find me once more, the magic returning to our clearing.
Nova pressed her nose into my chest, her words muffled slightly.
“He told me once that his sister didn’t protect him.
That he stood up for her and she let him get beaten in her place.
I think he felt like he didn’t have anyone else’s allegiance.
Maybe he liked that I was desperate. That I was controllable and needed him. ”
“Or maybe he no longer trusted the system that raised him,” I muttered, wishing I could go back in time.
That we could change who we were. Fight against our parents even if in secret.
I imagined meeting Nova when I was young and still had hope.
When I was still brave enough to question what we were taught.
How quickly would I have fallen in love back then?
What would I have sacrificed? How would that have changed our world today?
Slowly, she ran her hands down my back, smiling up at me softly, concern threading her brows together. I rubbed the indent between the two, forcing her to relax her expression.
“I’m sorry for all you’ve lost.”
“Me? You lost your family, Nova.”
“You lost part of yours, too.”
Her hand brushed against my cheek, her smile sad. She wasn’t ready to admit it, but I could tell that she cared about me. That I meant something to her. And, regardless of what she said, she had become a part of my family too.
Just as I was about to lean down and kiss her—to give in and take her back to our cottage, where I’d hold her hostage until I was satisfied—the cracking of a branch came from the eastern edge of the clearing.
I spun, shoving Nova behind me and readying for a fight.
But nothing could have prepared me for who stood a mere twenty feet away.
“Mother?”
“Azazel.”
She wore black, all of her skin covered by dark cloth, save her face. She’d even pulled back her hair and tugged on her hood. Her clothes were such a stark contrast to the snowy landscape around her that she looked like shadows incarnate.
“What are you doing here?”
She frowned deeper, clasping her hands in front of her. “When the notes stopped coming to your room, I figured they’d arrive here instead. You always had a soft spot for this place.”
“How did you know I was even still alive?” I tucked Nova further behind me, pivoting with every side step Mother took.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice the piles of notes disappearing?
Or that I wouldn’t recognize my own son’s dimples and voice?
” Fuck. She noticed us at that damn ball?
“That’s why I sent your father after Jenna.
I figured it was someone else holding you captive.
Your father does love to wet his cock, so it wasn’t hard.
Imagine how surprising it was for me to find out you’d beaten him. ”
“He tried to assault my—my—” I stumbled over my words, trying to pinpoint the right term for Nova. She gripped my arm tighter, peeking around me to look at Mother.
My love. My life. My purpose. My everything. My Nova.
“Your akhata?”
“Don’t call her that!”
“That’s what she is, Azazel. You can’t possibly be ignorant to that.
” I growled, a deep, guttural sound that made me feel like a beast. Maybe I was.
Perhaps we were always the savage ones, with our bloodlust and desperation for dominance.
Magic did that to a person. Stripped them of their humanity.
“Come home, Son. We can turn her over to your father and finally get back on track.”
“Don’t come any closer!”
“We can be a family again, Azazel.”
“A family? Please. If there’s anything I know, it’s that you’ve despised me since the day I was born. We’ve never been a family. You’re just trying to save your own ass because you know that if you can’t give him another heir then you’ll be dead by year’s end.”
Steps faltering, she stared at me, her hand going to her stomach, as if gripping the version of me that was once within her. Her eyes squinted after a moment, her mouth lifting for once. “You think you’re such a clever boy, don’t you? Well guess what? You know nothing!”
She took a large step forward, getting far too close to Nova for comfort. I let both of my arms wrap around my back and secure her, unwilling to take any chances with us separating. She clung to me, her heart beating steadily against my spine.
“I loved you in the beginning. You gave me no troubles throughout the pregnancy or even birth. The second you were born, you ceased crying, looking around like you were somehow fully aware of what the world was. I remember how the healers and medics cooed at you, mentioning your sweet dimples and piercing grey eyes. They said you reminded them of a star brought to life. So bright and magical. At night I would sneak into your nursery just to stare at you.”
She took another step, her gaze flitting between Nova and I. I was struggling to focus on her movements, her words sinking into my chest and weighing me down.
“Your father told me it wasn’t my place.
He said I needed to leave you to the servants and focus on making more.
Did you know he’d fuck me daily? Usually more than once.
I wasn’t even out of my birthing bed before he forced himself on me.
We have to move quickly, Elise, he’d say.
Our empire must be strong for our conquest. No more than eight weeks later I was bleeding again.
One lost. Then two. Three. Six by your first birthday.
He’d beat me every time my sheets were soaked red.
I was useless. All that money and time he spent procuring me wasted, because I couldn’t do the only thing I was good for.
And in that time, you grew. You were brilliant, the perfect child.
You did as you were told, spoke only when spoken to, never made messes, and excelled in everything you did.
And the older you got, the more you mirrored him. ”
She stopped only a few feet in front of us, close enough to lunge if she wanted. And all I could manage to do was hold Nova as I listened.
“Of course I resented you, Azazel. My only success, the living proof I could do something right, and you looked just like him. He molded you into his spitting image, leaving me behind to manage any affairs he didn’t want to deal with and be a warm hole to fuck every night.
When you were old enough, he began beating you when he was angry, and I was free for months at a time.
That was when I decided to truly stop caring.
Because if you were going to end up just like him, then I would at least survive. ”
“Brave of you. I can’t imagine the strength it took to turn your back on your own child.” I nodded, my smile sardonic. “Bravo, truly.”
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that! I am your mother whether you like it or not. I brought you into this world, and—”
“You can take me out of it, right? Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Maybe it’s you that became Father.”
Her reaction wasn’t what I had expected.
Instead of more verbal sparring, Mother screamed, forcing twisting shadows our way.
I warded just in time, the tendrils wrapping around the invisible dome.
Nova yelped as Mother hit us again, this time with a burst of magic.
Gritting my teeth, I dug my feet further into the snow and willed my wards to hold.
“Az! Let’s just go! You can’t hurt your mother and she will hurt us.
Please!” Nova shouted, pulling my back further into her.
I hadn’t killed my father the night of the ball, and I realized then that I regretted it.
I should have risked everything to end him.
Now was my chance to rectify that in a way.
“Attacking her won’t change what she’s done. Please.”
Groaning, I pinched my eyes closed and nodded. “Hold on tight, Little Void.”
“Don’t you dare run away from me, Azazel! You will come home with me right now! You will not leave us for that filthy, waste of breath!” Mother stumbled towards us, her sinking legs slowing her approach. Before she’d even made it two feet, Nova and I were gone.