17. Ivy
17
Ivy
“W hat’s going on with you?” I mentally asked, grabbing Lex’s hand as I passed him to move toward the table. I hadn’t eaten since we were stateside and now, my stomach ached with emptiness. The food here had always been delicious, and if what Siobhan said was true, I’d need my strength for whatever faced us tomorrow.
“Stay out of my head,” he snapped, glaring as he swatted my fingers away. But I froze. In that split second of connection, I saw a picture of the queen patting him on the cheek, whispering something about him not believing in fate. My heart pounded, and my attention snapped to his hazel eyes.
“Lucifer,” I said, trying to grab his arm again. Miri had already sat down in one of the seats, her arms curled around herself while she inspected the food. Carter loaded up a plate, his head perking at the use of my nickname for my archnemesis turned fiancé turned lover. “What was that?”
“It’s nothing to worry about, X.” He ignored me and walked to the other side of the tent, stalking around to the head of the table so he could grab a dish and pile a thick, juicy turkey leg on top of it.
I didn’t like that answer.
After standing in Miri’s tower with her, holding her hand tightly as we fought off the king together, we’d formed a telepathic link. I still saw myself standing there, even now, holding her close. She had been terrified the king would get to her again, but our being together had chased him away, the same way it had when Lex and I grabbed hands at our wedding. I needed all of my spouses to do this, so Lex couldn’t check out on me now.
I stalked closer to him, grabbing his plate out of his hand and placing it on the table next to the fruit.
He huffed a deep sigh and clenched his jaw. “I’m too tired for your shit right now.”
“You said no more secrets,” I hissed. “You’ve been keeping one since that conversation with the queen.”
“What’d she say?” Carter sat down opposite Miri and scooped a grape into his mouth. “What’d she want?”
“According to our prince, she wanted to have a good shag before returning to reality.” Miri huffed out a laugh and picked at her turkey. “I think she has better taste than a human who lies to his beloveds.”
“I turned her down, of course,” he said, giving me that trademark annoying smirk. “I am nothing if not loyal.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, crossing my arms and staring him down. He reminded me so much of his younger self in that moment, his hazel eyes ablaze with challenge, his jaw muscles twitching with rage just below the surface. It was the same look he gave me right before he pounced on me, holding me down to smack me around and take what he wanted. “You know I’ll get it out of you one way or the other.”
Lex shook his head and dropped his gaze to the ground, dark hair falling in his face. I reached out to brush it back, the touch so familiar. I’d held his face a million times before, a thousand before we could even admit that we loved each other.
“It was all bullshit, okay?” He sighed and looked up at me again. “She didn’t have anything important to say.”
“She’s the queen of the fairies,” Carter cut in. “Anything she says is important.”
“I don’t buy into it. I don’t believe in fate, and I don’t believe that Siobhan or Diana or anyone can decide our future.”
“How can you say that?” I asked. “After everything we’ve been through? After the four of us found each other? After you and me?” I grabbed his cheeks with both hands now, forcing him to stare at me, imploring him to let me in, to let me see. “Lex, tell me what’s going on.”
“Please believe me, X. There’s nothing to tell.” He leaned down to kiss me, locking his mental shields tight. “We’re all making it out of this shit show, understand? There will be no sacrifice.”
A punch lanced through my heart at being shut out. “Lex, c’mon.”
“No more.” He lifted his chin to stare at me without an ounce of remorse. “For years, we’ve lived and breathed this bullshit. We’ve poured our blood and energy into this…and for what? If the four of us aren’t together at the end of this, it will have been for nothing. So I refuse to believe it.”
That hurt worse than anything he’d ever said to me. It was the first time I’d considered that we might not all survive, that I might have to face a life without one of them. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t. And if it was between that or not returning to our realm, then I’d have to get used to Faerie. I would not live in a world where the three of them did not exist— all three of them.
“What are you saying?” Carter put his elbows on either side of his food and leaned forward.
“I’m saying that we stop worrying about the king and queen and this fairy bullshit. We need to make our own plans.” Lex sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, taking a step back from me so he could pile more strawberries on top of his dish. Then, he moved on to the potatoes and vegetables before taking his seat in between Carter and Miri at the head, gesturing to the spot opposite him. “What do you say, X? Can you let it rest?”
I thought of my siblings, my guilty conscience urging me forward. I couldn’t stop now, not when I’d gotten so close. I’d already wasted enough time in the woods, damn near becoming a three-course meal myself. Everything in me wanted to march into the forest to confront the king and demand he take me to my family.
Maybe I could lower the shields between my mind and his, maybe for just a second, so I could find them myself. I could find out what he’d done to Miri. I could find out how he was planning to attack.
“No,” Lex snapped, getting my attention. “Don’t you dare reach out to Alberich. I know what that look means; I know what you’re thinking. Don’t do it.”
“Are you seriously considering contacting him?” Carter raised his eyebrows.
I didn’t answer because no matter what I said, Lex would know the truth.
“We have the queen, we have the entire fairy army.” Lex bit into a berry and leaned back in his seat, smirking while he chewed. “If that fails, we need to figure out what else to do.” His attention danced to Miri. “You have the ruby dust, right? Do you think you could wield it? Could you do to him what he did to Diana?”
Carter pursed his lips but nodded at the seat next to him. I glanced at Miri, who narrowed her gaze on our husbands.
“I do,” she said. “I probably could. Ivy would need to figure out what incantation he put on her.”
“Suffer in silence, suffer in solitude,” I said. “Then you will know the pain you’ve caused.”
“There we go,” Lex said, biting into another strawberry. “Finally, something useful.”
The whole thing felt off. Even if I could find out where the king was, it wasn’t like I could go after him alone. Maybe Lex had a point. Maybe we should come up with a few contingency plans, just in case.
I glanced at the tent entrance again before giving in and sitting down at the square table. Carter smiled and plopped a big piece of turkey from his plate onto mine, giving me a few of his potatoes before replenishing his own.
“We’ll try to get the king alone, pin him down, and use the ruby dust on him,” Lex said, “And whatever happens tomorrow, remember we’re strongest together. We have each other. Until the end.”
“Until the end,” Miri and Carter echoed.
I stared at Lex, a sick finality landing in my stomach. He knew more than he said, and whatever he was keeping to himself, it wasn’t good. Blinking back tears, I shoved it to a corner of my mind to dissect later and focused on the present.
The last time we’d sat in a fairy tent eating dinner, we’d spent the entire night reminiscing. Tonight was supposed to be about raising the sensual energy of our spirit, whatever that meant. Siobhan suggested we spend it like it was our last night together, and the thought ached so much, I couldn’t stand it.
“Miri,” Lex said, biting into a piece of turkey, “what is one thing you’re looking forward to once this is over?”
Our princess cut her eyes to me for a moment before returning to her food, picking at a piece of fruit to bring it to her lips for a nibble. She shook her head and huffed out a laugh. “I suppose…the new season of Hanging with the Hiltons .”
I chuckled at the simplicity of her answer. “I can’t believe you watch that shit.”
“Oh, it’s absolutely deplorable.” She bit her bottom lip, her cheeks turning a bright shade of blush. “But I can’t help myself.”
“Me neither,” Carter said, smiling at everyone. “Last season was wild.”
Lex grinned, eyeing me across the table with that wolfish expression. Since the beginning of all this, I hadn’t had a moment to simply stop, to pause and consider what would happen once I didn’t have this to worry about anymore. In the last week alone, I’d trashed my wedding, invaded my mother’s mind, fought off a fairy king, traveled across the Atlantic, and healed the fairy queen. I’d survived… we’d survived.
“Carter,” Lex said, cutting into a potato with his fork. “What about you? One thing you’re looking forward to.”
Carter brought the chalice to his lips to sip his wine while he considered, placing a finger over his lips and swallowing. “Retirement.” He glanced at me, reaching out to take my hand. “Being Ivy’s stay-at-home husband.”
Lex barked out a laugh. “That role is already filled, I fear.”
“Fine, then I can be Miri’s stay-at-home companion.” Carter winked at her, causing a blush to radiate up Miri’s neck and into her cheeks.
“Hmm.” Lex liked that answer. He drained the rest of his cup, poured another round for all of us from the bladder on the side of the table, and then sat back in his seat while he assessed me. “Ivy.”
“I’d rather hear your answer.” I stabbed a potato with my fork and brought it to my mouth, choking down the savory tuber.
Lex pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side, perhaps trying to figure out my angle. But, of course, my motives were always the same with him—search and destroy.
He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers over his cup. “I’m looking forward to having children.”
I froze and stared at him, chalice halfway to my lips. We had talked about kids before, but never in any concrete sense. Not like this, not with fire in his eyes and determination in his voice.
“Yeah?” Carter’s smile lit up his whole face.
“Yeah,” Lex said with a sparkle in his hazel stare. “I have this vision in my head of what our future looks like. I want Miri in her garden and Carter chasing around our kids, and it doesn’t fucking matter who gave birth to which ones because they’re ours…all of them. They’re all a bunch of little Stuart-Scott-Washington-Fairfaxes.”
Miri made a sad laugh, wiping at an eye when a tear slipped out and slid down her cheek. I remembered this image, I’d seen it during our four-year fairy curse. It was Lex’s true north, the deep-seated motivation that kept him going, that peeled him off the floor when he thought he had no more fight left in him. It was this imaginary future that had gotten us this far. He wanted a family with all of us, he wanted his own family.
“We could change our names,” Carter said. “Pick something we all like.”
“Move to the cabin, live in the woods.” Miri took a drink of wine, her tone wistful and light. “Isn’t that a pretty picture?”
“What’s stopping us?” Lex asked, glancing between us.
Carter hung his head between his shoulders and sighed. “What exactly are you suggesting, DC? That Ivy quit Congress? That Miri run out on the prince of receding hairlines?”
“Don’t be cruel.” Miri hid her wince, pretending not to be hurt, but even I felt the sting on that one.
“You’re quitting your sexy primetime television show,” Lex said. “We can’t do the same?”
“I want to leave the family.” Miri kept her voice soft and low, but pain echoed in those words regardless. “I want to stay with you.”
“I would love you to.” Lex’s brilliant gaze snapped to her. “We can use the media against them. Tell our story our way. You can be the duchess of Aberdeen and married to us.”
“No, Lex. They’ll disown?—”
“Yes, Miri. Who the fuck says you can’t?”
I cleared my throat at this, and all three of them stopped to look at me. “Have you forgotten our life? Have you forgotten who you are?” Lex Fairfax. Son of the president of the United States. Public icon. The definition of American royalty. Hell, there was an entire section of Virginia that had his last name stamped right across it. “Or is the fairy wine already catching up to you?”
Lex leaned back in his seat, the very image of a disappointed king addressing his pessimistic queen.
“I hate to be the bearer of reality, but on the other side of this battle, there’s just more of the same.” I looked between the three of them. “Miri can’t leave the family for the same reason you and I will end up getting married on live television in some undoubtedly more ridiculous circus that has been rescheduled to the most opportune time politically.” I sat up straighter. “If we survive tomorrow morning, this all ends, right? Tomorrow is the end.”
I held up my hand, bearing the scars that proclaimed our undying fealty to each other.
Until the end.
“We promised each other so much that night…more than we had to give.”
They fell silent for a moment, long enough for Lex to let out a drawn sigh. “What are you looking forward to, Ivy?”
I didn’t know. I didn’t have a good answer. None of the save-the-world initiatives I’d tried to push through Congress had worked. I’d spent the majority of the last few months on a fairy curse and a dying planet, and now, both were out of my control. I had worked so damned hard for an idea of a family that didn’t exist. I’d done so much for my legacy, for my mother, for my name…and none of it made a difference. I tried to focus on the things I could fix, the things in my immediate future.
“Saving my siblings,” I said. “Trying to live with you three for as long as I can, as much as I can.”
“Oddly vague.” Lex’s eyes lit with challenge. “You don’t think we could have it all?”
“I think you’re being too optimistic for the Lex I’ve come to love and loathe.” I crossed my arms and leaned back in my seat. “I think the queen told you something else, something you’re not sharing with the rest of us.”
Lex pushed back from his seat, clearly done with my shit, and grabbed the leather bladder, yanking out the cork with his teeth so he could swig back a large drink from the jug. He stalked closer, taking it one slow step at a time, his predator gaze narrowed on me, his hips swaying in a proprietary beat.
“I think you’re being needlessly argumentative.” Lex dragged a finger over Carter’s shoulders, who pursed his lips and narrowed his indigo stare on my former archnemesis while Lex trained his gaze on me. “I think you don’t know how to have a last night on earth party, and you’re too ashamed to show it.”
Heat rose up the sides of my neck and into my cheeks, zigzagging across my skin in that telltale X that always gave me away. I gripped the armrests to keep from reaching up to cover it with my hand. Lex would see it anyway. I had to focus on remaining calm, on resisting the bait. He wanted to get a rise out of me, and if this was our last night on earth, I expected nothing less from Alexei “Lucifer” Fairfax, king of demons and things that go bump in the night.
“Did she tell you what the sacrifice was?” I raised an eyebrow, analyzing the almost skip in his step and the tremble in his fingers. “Is that why you’re being sentimental? Because you know what we have to give up?”
There it is. The muscle around his eye twitched as he twisted his lips into a trademark smirk. Maybe he could tell I was lying with my X, but after all these years, Lex’s hazel stare still gave him away.
He kicked the leg of my chair hard enough to scoot me back from the table and twist me around to face him, where he leaned down until we were eye level, his hands gripping my wrists over the armrests.
“X, I’m about two seconds from forcing Carter to his knees so he can blow me while Miri stuffs her pussy in my face.” His words created a visual that sent a jolt of lust between my legs so hard, I had to squirm to keep myself from moaning. “If you don’t drop this, I’m going to tie you to that bed and play with you last.”
He reeked of fairy wine and bonfire smoke and a two-hour trek through the forest, but fuck, I couldn’t resist the tremble that went through me when he gave me that look. He dared me to disobey him, to open my mouth and say something that would give him an excuse to do exactly what he promised.
We had agreed that we wouldn’t play like this with the others around. I didn’t want them to know how much I loved the fight, how much I had always loved it, but if this was truly our last night together…well…fuck it.
I took a deep breath, steeled my gaze, and opened my mouth to say, “Did you make a deal with her?”
That was all it took. Lex curled his lips into that cruel smile, recognizing that I’d given my consent, and then he attacked.