Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Ryan
When we return to Nashville, I’ll miss this deck. Sitting out here each day with Dixie perched on my lap, I’ve felt more at peace than the last several months. My fingers strum the chords, a tune I’ve been messing with coming together. Sitting alone is something a lot of people take for granted. I know I did. Since losing Katie, all of my time has been with Pepper and other family members. Time for myself took a back seat. When Laney texted this morning—because yes, we finally exchanged numbers—asking if Pepper could come over and work in her garden, I only paused for a beat. That brief hesitation speaks volumes of how much I trust Laney.
A sweet peal of laughter from next door brings a smile to my face, and I begin humming. Lyrics evade me but I feel the hint of them with each chord. Steve barks and the giggles get louder. I want to glance into the yard, see what is happening, but I also love just listening to my daughter and her healing. Our therapist said yesterday that each word spoken, and with each interaction with someone other than me, is a step in her process as she works through her grief.
My phone rings, drowning out the happiness next door. I’ve been avoiding Gordon’s calls and half expect him to pull up in the driveway at some point. Prepared to decline the call, I am relieved to see it’s Cora.
“Hello?”
“Hi friend. How are you? How’s my girl?”
Cora has been such an amazing support system for me this past year. Her daughter and Pepper are best of friends and while Katie never fully accepted that my best friend is a woman, she was grateful in the final weeks because she knows in addition to her grandmothers, Pepper will have a strong female role model in her life.
“Switch to video,” I instruct.
After a few taps, Cora’s face fills the screen and it’s a piece of home I didn’t fully realize I was missing. She’s squinting at the screen like she can’t quite make out my face.
“Is something wrong with my camera?”
She snorts. “No, I was making sure this wasn’t a fever dream. Dare I say you look relaxed ?”
I roll my eyes and rise from the lounger and cross to the railing. “I did have a good night’s sleep.”
Cora sticks her tongue out like a toddler. “I wanted to show you the view, but I want you to listen carefully to the sounds.”
Tapping the camera button, I flip the view so it’s out over the yard and captures the river. Connie has already finished his route this morning so I can’t share that cool experience, but I am able to hold the phone so Pepper’s antics with Steve can be heard. I watch as my friend tears up, her hand lifted to cover her mouth.
“Ry . . .”
“She’s been talking, not only to me but also Laney. They have formed a quick bond, and I think I’m going to have to get a dog when we get home. Steve has easily become her favorite part of Magnolia Grove. Well, only second to Laney. Somehow, I’ve slipped in ranking of favorite people. She’s even going to spend tonight with one of Laney’s friends while we go... what? Why are you smiling like that? It’s kind of creepy.”
Cora bites her lip and then speaks for both of us. “You’re smitten! Ohmygosh, Ryan. You like Laney. Who, by the way, I personally love and expect to meet soon. She sounds pretty great.”
I don’t bother to hide my smile because she’s right. I am smitten. I have a crush. I’m in like with the woman next door who plays with dirt, volunteers in her community, and accepts my daughter and me with all of our broken pieces.
“She’s amazing, Cora. There’s something about her that fits, you know? I can’t explain it. I’ll never take away how much I loved Katie or our time together, but being with Laney is different.”
“Ryan, it should be different. You’re not a kid anymore and your life isn’t solely about chasing your dreams. Nobody would ever question your relationship with Katie and if they did, well you send them my way. But, if Laney is evenly slightly responsible for the peace that seems to be settled in you and for bringing Pepper out of herself, you owe it to all of you to see where it goes.”
“We live in different states, and she is never leaving this town. How would that work? Right now, I want to spend time with her while I can and give Pepper the holiday experience every child deserves.”
The line is quiet as I flip the camera view back to my face and settle back on the lounger. Cora’s daughter comes into view and waves my way as her mother wipes her face and sends her off again. When she looks back in my direction I lift my brows, waiting for her speak. I’ve known Cora long enough to recognize when she has something on her mind and is cautious not to speak out of turn. It’s never been an issue between us before, which does make me a little apprehensive.
“I mean this with complete love, okay?” I nod. “You’re an idiot. A sweet and lovable one but still, an idiot. You are an established artist, Ry. You don’t have to live in Nashville. Hell, none of us do. It’s all about convenience and what we’ve told ourselves is necessary. I’m not saying you should move to Magnolia Grove, but you do have options.”
As I watch her give me a dishing of reality, I notice for the first time how unlike herself my friend looks. The truth is, for over a year I’ve been in my own bubble with little space for anything else. I’ve failed as a friend, and if I’m honest, a brother and son too. Those are things I need to work on.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask.
Cora’s smile falls and she lifts her shoulder. Shit.
“What’s going on? You can talk to me. It’s the least I can do after that helping of honesty.” My tone is teasing to lift the mood, but the words are sincere.
“Nothing is wrong. I’m just taking a look at where I am and where I want us to be. I know Katie and I weren’t best friends, but seeing what you all have gone through has me looking at my life and how I want Molly’s childhood to look. What I want my life to look like.”
“So, when you say I have options you mean that for yourself too.”
Another shrug. “Who knew being an adult would be this difficult?”
She laughs, wiping under eye, and I hate that I can’t offer her comfort.
“All I’m saying, Ryan, is that we are lucky enough to have the ability to do what we truly want. We have the resources most don’t. It’s a blessing, and we shouldn’t take it for granted. Go out with Laney. Get to know her. Let yourself be happy. Show Pepper the time of her life. Nothing has to be decided today or even tomorrow. But there’s no sense in writing it off when there are always possibilities.”
Wise words from a wise woman. Which brings a thought to mind. “How would you feel about writing another hit together?”
The huge smile returns. “What did you have in mind?”
For the next twenty minutes, I play the tune I’ve been messing with and hum some of the bridge I haven’t quite figured out. Cora and I do this often when one of us is blocked. We’ve even won a few awards for our co-written songs. In fact, the last Country Crown Music Award album of the year her group, Penny Dreams, won featured two songs we co-wrote. And of course, my duet with Maggie Gibson took both of our careers to the next level. When I say we’ve come up together in this business, it’s like siblings in a family.
The final chords of what will likely be my next single fade out as the patter of little feet and the clacking of nails on the wood floor signal playtime at Laney’s is over. Pepper rushes over and slams into my side, her face looking into the phone.
“Hi, Pepper! Molly, come say hi to Pepper!”
Cora turns away from the camera just as Laney steps out onto the deck. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t... Is that Cora Vincent?”
At the sound of her name, my friend turns back to the camera, eyes wide before she leans forward, a mischievous smile on her face. “You must be Laney. I’ve heard so much about you.”