Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Laney
When Pepper asked to go home to show her daddy the box of confetti she put together, I will admit to feeling a little nervous. Not because taking her home is worrisome but because of the way my heart skipped at the thought and my tummy flipped with excitement. Just the mention of seeing Ryan makes me giddy. I don’t get giddy. I am not a giddy-er. We’ll ignore the fact that giddy-er is not a word.
Still, this man brought the trait out of me and while it feels foreign, it isn’t awful. But he’s leaving. In like a week. The fact of the matter is, he’s here temporarily. If I don’t get myself in check, the way my feelings are ramping up, I’ll be left with a permanent void where his presence currently resides.
Pepper and Steve rush ahead, barreling through the front door like neither one of them have manners. I shouldn’t be surprised, those two have become bosom buddies. This morning when I woke up, I wanted to show Pepper more about working in the dirt. It was always therapeutic for me as a child, and I thought maybe it could be for her too. I was right. She seemed to absorb the information I shared and, watching her concentrate as she pulled petals with her little tongue poking between her lips, I felt a sense of déjà vu to my own childhood. But when she started talking freely, asking me questions I was catapulted to a new place in life. One I can’t exactly explain. It was almost out of my control the way my heart soared; every cell in my body wanted to praise her and protect her.
I close the front door to Ryan’s house and hear a woman’s voice. My steps falter. Does he have someone here? I didn’t see a car but that doesn’t mean anything. I have enough wherewithal not to completely spiral into a negative place about him seeing another woman. Especially after stepping onto the deck and noticing he’s only on a call.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t... Is that Cora Vincent?”
I can hear the awe in my voice and heat flushes my cheeks. I sound like a fan girl. I am a fan girl but don’t need to act like one. It’s just that Penny Dreams was my favorite singing group when I was younger. I loved the friendship between the three members and their songs were perfect. While everyone I knew was obsessed with Maggie and Priscilla, Cora was who I always thought of as the glue. She seemed to be quieter than the others and had that down-to-earth vibe anytime I saw her on television. The last few years since their split, she’s kind of fallen out of the spotlight or at least that’s what I gather from the occasional social media scroll.
Pepper is climbing onto Ryan’s lap as Cora shifts back to face the camera. A beautiful smile crosses her face. “You must be Laney. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Cora...” Ryan says her name like a warning.
“Oh uh. Wow. You know Cora Vincent,” I say stating the obvious.
I’m distracted by the little girl who has now commandeered the phone from her mother and is chattering away to Pepper. Ryan looks up to me from where he’s sitting and smiles.
“Hi. This is a nice surprise.”
“She has something to show you. I am a little shell-shocked. I apologize for barging in and didn’t mean to interrupt your call. With Cora Vincent. ”
My eyes are wide, and I mouth “holy shit” to him, drawing a boisterous laugh from him.
“Hey Ry?” Cora says, only her chin visible from where her daughter is holding the phone. “We’re going to let you guys go. How about we circle back in a few days to polish the lyrics a little?” Ryan agrees.
“Laney, it was great to meet you. I hope to speak with you another time. Byyyeee.”
The call ends and Pepper is staring at a screen of icons. I blink a few times, not really believing this is somehow my life. I just accepted that Ryan is The Ryan Miller then he goes and has another celebrity knowing things about me. Like what things? Ohmygosh, what is he saying? Probably that I was a stalker. Or that I practically attacked him on his couch the other night. Okay, I did attack him but that’s semantics at this point.
“Daddy, I have a present.”
Pepper’s voice pulls my thoughts back to the present and not on fooling around with Ryan. I welcome the distraction and pass the little box with a twine bow to Ryan. He shifts Pepper so she’s sitting cross ways on his lap and accepts the gift. Not wanting to hover, I pull one of the chairs from the set around the table and set it next to them.
Slowly, Ryan unties the twine and opens the box. Vibrant colors of purple and pink sit upon a small towel there to absorb the moisture. Pepper’s eyes shine brightly, and her smile is from ear to ear.
“I made coffiti.”
“Confetti,” I correct her.
Her little noses scrunches and she closes her eyes, deep in thought. Ryan takes that moment to look at me, his eyes wide and mouths “she’s talking”. In turn I give him a similar look and reply, “I know!”. We both silently snicker and look back at Pepper who slowly opens her eyes and then shrugs. Apparently, she’s not bothering to try the word again. “Laney showed me, and I did it by myself. We can put it in food. I want flower pancakes.”
Ryan chuckles and lifts one of the petals from the box. It looks tiny and delicate between his fingers. His eyes lift to mine and he smiles.
“Maybe Laney can help us make breakfast with these.”
Heat flares in his eyes at the possibility of us sharing breakfast together. It’s not an unwelcome thought or possibility. Ignoring the scene that plays out in my mind of us making breakfast together, I tug on one of Pepper’s curls.
“Why don’t you put the box in the refrigerator? Remember it has to stay cool.”
Ryan quickly closes the box and hands it off to his daughter as she scurries into the kitchen, Steve hot on her trail.
“Honey called and said she’ll be here by six if that still works.”
He pauses and looks back at the house where Pepper is showing Steve her toys.
“We don’t have to do this, Ryan. I understand if you aren’t comfortable leaving her with a stranger. And, on a day that she’s been so talkative.”
“You trust Honey?” he asks, swinging his legs to the side and sitting up. We’re close, our knees almost touching. His hand lifts to rest on my calf.
“I do.”
“Then I trust her. I haven’t said anything to Pepper. I was planning on it earlier but then you called. Would you be okay if I did that now?”
Single dads. Who knew that was so sexy?
“I’ll head on home and you guys can talk and spend time together.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
How do I tell him I need space? Knowing we’re going on an actual date tonight has me internally freaking out but the idea of spending more time with them today may push me over the edge. I need to put a wall, a small one, around us to protect my heart after he leaves.
Standing I say, “I need to do some paperwork and get packages ready for delivery. Plus, I should confirm a few things on this week’s activities. Your gingerbread house looks great, by the way.”
We walk into the house and Pepper has Steve sitting near her while multiple stuffed animals and dolls are lined up. She appears to be holding court, explaining something to her captive audience. It’s adorable.
Steve notices me and perks up. He’s not used to as much activity as he’s experienced today. We could both use a little downtime, I suspect.
Before I cross the room to the front door, I kneel down to where Pepper is sitting. “Thank you for helping me today. I had fun.”
She smiles brightly. “Will you come back?”
I’m not sure I’ll ever tire of hearing her talk.
“I will. Don’t forget we have caroling this weekend. Are you ready to sing with me?”
Her little dimples pop as she giggles. “My daddy sings too.”
My gaze lifts to find Ryan watching us, a gentle smile on his face. “He sure does. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Pepper scrambles to her feet and wraps me in a tight hug. Her little arms are tight around my neck as I squeeze her back. My nose tickles, the telltale sign of imminent tears. I’ve grown to love this little girl; it’s going to suck to no longer have these moments with her.
Ryan clears his throat. “I’ll walk you out.”
I dip my chin, snap my finger, and click my tongue for Steve to follow. It’s only a few steps to the door but still, Ryan places his hand on my lower back. It’s light, barely touching but still my skin heats from the proximity. Before I can open the door, he reaches around me, turning the doorknob. I can feel his breath on my neck and shiver.
“I’m looking forward to tonight, Laney.”
I am in so much trouble.