Chapter 30
THIRTY
Now that one other person on the planet knew her struggles, the weight had lifted. A little. Not that she was going to announce her history to everyone. Brendon was enough. She headed for the stables to saddle a horse.
Her choice of mount was a solid gray mare who nipped at others but ate carrots out of her hand.
“I’d bet if they remembered the toll, you’d be nice to everyone.
Wouldn’t you, girl?” She scratched the horse along her neck.
That had been her horse of choice for years, but since she was never in a stall with her name above it and no one had said the mare’s name since the first time she rode it, she couldn’t recall.
Asking for it now seemed almost offensive.
She started slowly near the house, then clicked her tongue to get into a trot.
Once she reached the road, she kept to the side and let the horse walk.
While there were plenty of riding trails on Wayside, they were used by the guests and Ferd didn’t want to encounter someone accidentally today and make them feel uncomfortable.
She’d also rather not see people for the rest of the day.
“Maybe if I’d bothered to learn the schedule, like everyone else . . .” She took a deep breath of fresh air.
Cody had fresh air, too, right? She should miss her apartment, her clothes, even her job.
Instead, all she felt was relief at being away.
Brendon had given a potential reason why.
All those things, especially her job, were connected to Hunter.
He still worked there. While she may have told him they were through while she lay in the hospital, she couldn’t avoid him at work.
And he might not give her a choice anyway.
There was also the possibility that he’d set up some sort of retaliation.
He might be the reason she now had to go back in person, instead of just providing records.
He may have hinted to the sergeant that she might not be telling the truth.
She’d asked Brendon to forward proof of their session directly to her supervisor, then she’d called her doctors and counselor in town and had them do the same.
Hunter could claim she was hiding things or making them up, but if the documents came from the actual provider, her boss would have to believe her.
It had taken two serious incidents for her to see he wasn’t the guy she thought he was.
The hard part was, she still wouldn’t call him abusive.
He was manipulative and wanted others to see him as a superhero.
He wanted the recognition for saving the day.
He wanted to be the best boyfriend in the room, the best guy in the room, the guy who’d saved the most people.
And she’d played into his needs by not only accepting all his compliments and adoration but by telling him he was amazing and the best.
Now, stop. It’s okay to give compliments. You’ve just got to be careful about motive.
“Mind if I join you?” Lacy trotted up from behind.
“Not at all. How are you doing?” Ferd angled her horse more to the side to give Lacy more room on the side of the road.
“Good. Connor said he talked to you. I’m sorry he filled you in on all our deep secrets. It’s kind of a lot to take in. Especially after what you know.”
Lacy had told her everything when she’d lived there. For a woman who seemed to have a lot of friends, she really was lonely. “Everyone has them. I’m sorry if he over-shared. I’m the one who brought it up.”
She focused on keeping the horse’s rhythm so the ride would be easier. In the last two years, her body had forgotten how to ride naturally.
“I don’t mind as much as I was worried it was another thing to pile on you. I have lots of friends here at Wayside. You’ve struggled from the start to get close to anyone. If my situation sends you packing, I’m going to be so mad at him.”
“For about two seconds until you aren’t.” Ferd laughed. “And that’s good. Look, this doesn’t scare me. I’m just sad for you. You wanted to be a mom so bad.”
She blinked rapidly and looked away. “Infertility feels like being attacked by a demon, and everyone seems to have advice about how to get rid of it so you can finally receive the blessing of getting pregnant . . . but it feels like I’m not doing any of the steps right.
They told me it was my weight. My hormones.
My mental state. His mental state. We’ve been to doctors galore. Still nothing.”
“I know, it’s so frustrating.” Ferd slowed her horse so they’d have more time to chat.
“It feels like a punishment for agreeing to the divorce in the first place. I know that’s a lie from the pit of hell, but it’s hard to rebuke a lie once it takes root.”
Ferd stopped her horse so she could look Lacy in the eyes. “I wish there was something, anything, I could say to make you hurt less. I know there’s not.”
Lacy leaned forward and waved a fly away from her horse’s ear. A shot cracked from somewhere in the pasture. The bullet whizzed past both of them.
Ferd’s mare reared, scaring Lacy’s. She struggled to keep hold of the reins, then clamped her knees against the saddle.
“Ferd?” Lacy managed to get her horse under control and directed him back toward Ferd.
“No! Go!” she took her rein and slapped Lacy’s horse along the flank to get him running because Lacy wouldn’t leave her.
Ferd’s mare raced into the ditch and took the fence in a high jump, landing with a hard thud that jolted her whole body. She raced toward the barn. Safety. Unfortunately, it was about a mile away, and a hooded man with a gun stood between her and that safety, rifle already raised.