Chapter 2
Addie
Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
I sprint to the front door as if my ass is on fire.
Did Michael—man of my dreams, father of my unborn babies, unattainable love of my life—just tell me he’s the only one allowed to touch me?
It takes me way too long to get my key in the deadbolt before I can finally get inside. I slam the door closed and lean my forehead against the smooth surface.
What the fuck just happened?
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think Michael Montgomery would say something like that to me.
And to say I’ve had some pretty freaky fantasies about him would be an understatement.
“Addie?”
“Fuck!” My entire body jerks, and I crack my head against the door.
“Sorry.” Vivi cringes. “I thought you were staying in Greensboro tonight.”
I blow out a breath and turn toward my younger sister.
Genevieve has always had an ethereal glow about her.
Her tan skin is smooth—as if she moisturizes multiple times a day—her light brown hair is silky, and her big hazel eyes shine with an innocence she can’t fake.
Even though she’s the younger sibling, I was always the one getting us into trouble.
I used to make her tell our parents when we did something wrong because Dad could never say no to her puppy dog eyes.
She’s the perfect blend of our parents in both looks and personality, whereas I look like Mom and have our dad’s outgoing personality, and our older brother Ryan looks like Dad and has Mom’s more reserved nature.
“I was going to, but changed my mind.” Was forced to change my mind, I should say.
I can’t exactly complain. If by some chance Michael truly meant what he said, then I might end this night on a high note instead of the embarrassing one it’s likely to become.
“Is everyone still at Quinn and Cooper’s house? ”
Vivi shrugs. “I’d assume so. Want to watch a movie? I can’t seem to fall asleep tonight.”
I grin at her. “That’s exactly what I need.” There’s no way I’ll be able to go to sleep right now with Michael’s deep voice still ringing in my ear.
Walking down the hallway, we go straight for the pantry where Mom keeps all the snacks. With Viv being home from college and me just graduating, our parents stocked up on the essentials: Goldfish, fruit snacks, popcorn, and our favorite drinks.
“God, I love being home,” I say as my first sip of Coke burns down my throat.
“Same. College is great, but it won’t be the same without you.”
“Eh, you don’t need me around anymore.”
Vivi followed me to Raleigh after she graduated from high school two years ago, but has since made a ton of friends and is busier than I am.
I’m outgoing in the right situations, but there are times when I can’t get out of my head.
My social anxiety takes over, and I typically shut down.
I’ve been told it’s a product of jumping ahead two grades and not maturing at the same rate as my peers.
In the end, I managed to find ways to cope and had a decently successful social life in college—especially if we forget about the part where I harbor unrequited feelings for my big brother’s best friend.
Is it unrequited if he demanded I save myself for him?
No. That could just be sex. Although I can’t imagine Michael saying something like that to me and not meaning something more.
Ugh. I can’t think about this anymore.
Viv and I settle into the den with our snacks laid out on a wooden tray we stash in between us on the couch—it’s far too big to have a coffee table in front of it.
“You want to watch that rom-com that just came out?” Vivi asks.
“Ehh.” Do I want to watch people fall in love while my love life is a sad, pathetic existence with the occasional vagina-pulsing moment with the one man I can’t have? No. Not really. I’m not about to try to explain that to my little sister though. “Sure.”
Vivi scans my face as if she knows I’m not feeling myself right now. Then she turns back to the TV and hits play. I love that she can tell when I want to talk and when I don’t. I lucked out in the sister department.
The movie does the trick, taking my mind off what happened tonight. Mom and Dad come home in the middle of it. They both give me surprised hugs before going to bed, and Vivi and I end up falling asleep on the couch, as we’ve done too many times to count.
When the morning sun wakes me, Michael’s words hit me like a sledgehammer.
Well…that reprieve was short-lived.
You’d think I’d be ecstatic after the man I’ve loved since I was old enough to know what love was told me he wants me.
I suppose I’m hesitant to take his words to heart.
He never actually said he wanted me; he just doesn’t want anyone else to have me. But why? Never once, in all these years, has he given me any indication that he might be interested in me.
What’s changed? Is it my virginity? God, if that’s the case, I’ll punch him. He doesn’t deserve it if that’s all he wants from me.
I have no idea what to do now. I’m too much of a coward to text him.
“Are you okay?” Vivi asks quietly.
I turn my head toward her. She looks so young, cuddled under her blanket.
“I will be. Nothing ever gets me down for long.”
“That’s right. You’re Adalaide freaking Jackson.”
I grin. “Damn right.”
Vivi’s reminder pulls me out of this funk. It’s exactly what I needed to get myself together and push Michael’s change of heart out of my head. I’m not about to crawl on my knees for a man who’s never given me the time of day.
I’m not naive enough to believe he’ll come to me when he’s ready. He’s never done it before, and he’s not about to change his stripes after hasty words said in the dark. If I want to pursue this insane idea of him taking my virginity, I’ll have to push him into action.
I just have to decide if I truly want to.
I know I told him I’ve always imagined it would be him, but I don’t believe for a second that he’ll suddenly want to date me just because we have sex.
He’s never shown a shred of interest in me before now.
Whatever this is between us will be purely physical—at least on his end.
My heart has already fallen. If I add sex into the mix, I’m pretty sure it’ll be broken in no time.
Can I accept that outcome if it means I finally get to find out what it would be like to have Michael in my bed?