8. Alina
EIGHT
ALINA
SIXTEEN YEARS OLD
I’m Chase Adams’s girl.
Those are four words I never thought I’d say.
I can’t stop smiling.
Last night, after the high wore off, I was terrified of him running again. After all, it’s what he’s programmed me to expect. Instead, he admitted how tired he was of fighting what’s between us, said I was his and he was mine, and that’s all there is to it.
Maybe it makes me a sucker, but I believe him.
Chase is a lot of things, but he’s never been a liar.
“So, let me get this straight, Alina May.” Becca narrows her green gaze on me from across the worn brown leather couch in my living room. “You went out and had a great date with Reed. Gorgeous, charmin’, totally fuckable, Reed. Am I right so far?”
“Yep.” I nod.
“He wooed, you swooned. He was a perfect gentleman, not even sneakin’ a titty grab all night and then… Bam! ” She smacks her hands together. “The King of Assholes waltzes in, only after someone else shows interest, by the way, and you just jump in his arms and run off to live happily ever after?”
I sigh. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds awful, but that’s not what it’s like.”
“Then what’s it like?” She crosses her arms.
“Listen, I like Reed. And maybe in a perfect world where my head rules my heart and not the other way around, he’s the best choice for me, yeah. I can admit that.”
“But…” Becca arches a brow.
“But Chase is my person .”
Her nose scrunches up in disgust. “Yeah, well sometimes all your ‘person’ ends up bein’ good for is disappointment. So I hope you’re ready for that.”
My stomach drops. “Can you at least try to be supportive? You’re my best friend, and I need you in my corner. Lord knows how Lily’s gonna react.”
Becca’s face softens and she reaches out, gripping my hand in hers. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is this thing with Chase, it has heartbreak written all over it, sister. I’ve watched you pine for years while he tore you up, and I’m supposed to, what? Just forget all that, and suddenly be okay with this?” She shakes her head. “I don’t think I can.”
“I’m not askin’ you to be okay with it, I’m just askin’ for you to respect my decisions. Honestly, Becca, it’s not your choice.”
“He has issues, Lee.”
“Who doesn’t?” I shrug, defensiveness rising through me like hot steam.
She rolls her eyes and I snap, jerking my hand away.
“Rebecca Jean, you’re my best friend, but I swear to all that’s holy, if you don’t get off your high horse and at least pretend to be supportive, I’ll kick your butt straight out that door.” I point toward the front entry, disappointment coloring my insides because she can’t see how happy I am. “I won’t sit here and justify my actions to you. Just ’cause you have issues with commitment, doesn’t mean everyone else has to.”
She scoffs. “I don’t have issues with commitment, I just don’t do commitment. There’s a difference, honey. The church has me trapped enough.” She wrinkles her nose, placing a hand on my arm. “All right, fine, God. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I blow out a breath. “Thank you.”
“So…what was it like? And don’t leave out the details.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “I’ll just pretend when you talk about Chase’s dick that it’s Brad Pitt’s.”
I grab a throw pillow from beside me and toss it at her, laughing, a little bit of lightness flowing back into the moment.
The doorbell rings and both of us snap our heads in its direction.
“Expectin’ someone?” she asks.
“Never know around here, I guess,” I say as I get up to answer.
She nods and stands, grabbing her book bag and following me. “That’s fine, I’ve gotta go anyway or my folks will probably send out a damn search party.”
I open the door and find Chase, one arm raised along the frame, his body towering over mine.
“Hey.” His grin is wide, those dang dimples on full display.
“Hi yourself.” My stomach flutters, lips curling up. “So you do know how to use a door.”
He doesn’t move to step inside, and I don’t move to let him. We just stand in the doorway, smiling wide, locked in each other’s gaze.
In my peripheral vision, I see Becca make a face like she’s gagging. “Good God Almighty, y’all make me sick.”
We ignore her.
“Lee, call me later, babe.” She squeezes past Chase, waving her hand behind her as she walks down the drive.
I mumble a goodbye, my eyes never straying from Chase.
He finally moves, reaching out to press on my stomach, forcing me backward until I’m plastered against the wall.
My heart dances so wild in my chest I’m afraid I’ll pass out.
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his body, my front grazing his chest. A pulse of heat shoots through me, and it catches me off guard because I’m not used to my body reacting this way. It’s only ever been this way with him, and it was only in the past year it even started.
Chase leans down and takes my lips in a kiss, different from the ones last night, sweeter. Still, when his tongue teases my mouth, my body vibrates with something .
My eyes close and I lean into the moment, throwing my arms around his neck and trying to drag him further into me. He pulls back instead and then gives me a quick peck. Once…
Twice…
“I’ve been thinking of your lips all fucking day,” he admits, kissing me again like he can’t stay away.
I think I might burst from happiness.
My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him down so I can deepen the kiss. He groans, his arm tightening around my waist as he lifts me, pressing me harder into the wall. His hips push into mine, and I moan into his mouth, the ache sharpening between my legs, but he pulls back again, shaking his head and setting me back down.
“I don’t want your parents coming home and seeing me mauling you in their doorway,” he says.
My bottom lip sticks out in a pout, although I agree. Daddy would have a conniption, and Mama… I don’t know what she’d do.
“So let’s go somewhere else,” I recommend.
He nods. “Anna’s down at some job site with Sam today helping pick out interior designs, so they’ll be gone awhile. We can chill at my place.”
“What about Lily?” My stomach knots thinking of what her reaction will be to Chase and me. Like everyone else, she assumes we grew apart as we got older, not realizing her brother was busy tangling up my soul with his.
He shrugs like the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind. “What about her?”
“I mean…is she home?”
“Probably. Who knows with her these days?” His jaw clenches, sadness sweeping over his features. “I’m trying not to be so overbearing because she gets pissed at me when I am, and it makes her disappear.”
I cock a brow at him. “ You aren’t bein’ overbearin’?”
He rubs his chin. “Yeah, I’m letting her live her life or whatever.”
You shouldn’t , I want to say.
Guilt stabs me for not voicing my worries. I promise myself that after we handle her finding out about us, I’ll bring it up. I can’t right now because if she finds out I narced on her and I’m dating her brother? She’ll hate me forever .
“Do you, ya know, wanna tell her about us?” I break eye contact, peering down at my pink-sparkled toes. I guess the rips he caused on my insides are a little deeper than I thought because part of me is terrified he’ll want to keep me a secret.
He tilts my chin up with his index finger. “I plan to tell everyone about us. I told you last night, I’m done fighting this. It’s us now. Always.”
My body releases the tension, relief flooding my veins.
He pecks my lips again, trailing his hands down my arms until our fingers lace together. “You feeling good today, Goldi?”
I smile up at him. “Just right.”
He smirks, grabbing my hand and leading me out the door, making our way to his house.
Lily is home, and just as I feared, she does not take the news well.
She paces the living room, feet moving so fast I’m not sure how the rest of her body keeps up. She looks tired today, a raggedness to her features I’m not used to seeing on her dark brown hair hangs limp and stringy, no makeup on her face, the antithesis of what Lily Adams usually represents.
“Lil, come on,” Chase pleads, standing in front of her.
She stops. “Don’t you beg me, Chase. What am I supposed to do with this? I was having an okay day. Then in walks my brother, the one person I could always count on to put me first, and I find out my whore of a best friend has been stealing him out from under me all this time?”
My heart drops through my stomach. Did she just call me a whore?
“Hey.” Chase’s voice cuts through the air like an arrow. “Watch your mouth.”
Lily scoffs, sneering over at me and crossing her arms.
He takes a step closer to her. “Put you first? Lil, you haven’t let me put you first in a while. Every time I try, you call me overbearing, so don’t play that card with me. You don’t get to act like you’re a victim here. This”—he gestures between us—“has nothing to do with you, Lil.”
“This has everything to do with me.” Her shriek grates my eardrums, making me flinch. “She’s supposed to be my best friend! And you…you’re supposed to be my brother. Didn’t you care at all about how this would make me feel?”
She’s sobbing now, her words coming out choppy and uncertain, and while I understand where she’s coming from, this is an extreme reaction. I thought maybe, we’d at least get her to see it from our point of view.
Chase’s entire demeanor shifts when she cries, his shoulders softening and grief splashing on his face like paint on a canvas.
He moves toward her and wipes the tearstains from her cheeks. “I’ll always be your brother, Lil. It’s us against the world, remember?”
She hiccups, turning her face away from him.
He sighs, and when he speaks again his voice is raspier, like he’s trying to talk around a boulder lodged in his throat. “All I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy. Don’t you want the same for me? She makes me happy , Lil.”
Lily sniffs, staring hard at the ground like she wishes it would open up and swallow her whole. “I can’t lose you, Chase. You’re the only thing that keeps me safe.”
I feel awkward, standing behind them, watching as Lily’s scars from years I wasn’t a part of rip open and bleed out on the floor.
Chase pulls her to him harshly, the muscles in his arms tensing as he hugs her tight, rocking them from side to side. “It’s us against the world, little fighter. That’s never going to change.”
She nods against his chest.
My body relaxes, tension I didn’t even realize I was holding melting away and being replaced with a warmth. Chase is a good brother. The best.
He lets her go after a few more moments and then turns to wink at me. “You want something to drink?”
I shake my head, still feeling off-kilter from Lily’s reaction. He seems to think everything is solved but I can feel the weight of her glare.
When Chase goes toward the kitchen, I pivot.
“Lily, I?—”
“Don’t,” she cuts me off, a look of disgust creeping over her face. “I thought I knew who you were. But looking at you now? I just see bumpkin trash.”
Each word is a visceral pain making my stomach squeeze so tight I might throw up.
She moves forward until she’s right in front of me, the energy of her anger whipping through the air and lashing at my skin.
I try to focus on what she’s saying, but I’m distracted when she gets this close because her pupils are so big, it makes her eyes look black.
By the time I snap out of it, she’s done talking, looking at me like she’s waiting on a response. But I have no idea what she just said.
“God, you really are a selfish bitch,” she hurls. Then she shoves by me, knocking my shoulder hard as she storms out the door.