34. Alina
THIRTY-FOUR
ALINA
It’s only Wednesday and I’m dragging. Between Logan’s, working, and rushing straight to Daddy’s to make sure he stays home for the night, I’m drained. Not just physically but emotionally. Daddy knows just how to slice, his barbs cutting deep, and I wonder how I survived living under the same roof as him for so long.
Regina and Chase are having a meeting, so I’ve been relegated to the office couch. Chase keeps giving me glances, probably because I can’t stop yawning.
Finally, they wrap up, Regina giving me some tasks to do before she’s out the door. She never stays, just comes and goes when she’s needed.
It must be nice to be an owner. One day, maybe I’ll get there, too.
Chase hangs back, leaning against the desk while I stand and make my way over to Regina’s computer.
He quirks a brow.
“What?” I ask.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
He shrugs. “You seem tired.”
My instinct is to get defensive and hide the truth—and the truth is that making sure Daddy doesn’t end up in jail is a hard job. I’m about to keel over from either exhaustion or stress. I open my mouth to brush off his concern, but then I remember Chase already knows about Daddy. There’s no reason to hide it from him.
Sighing, I admit it. “I am tired. I’ve been headin’ straight to Daddy’s every night to make sure he doesn’t get himself in trouble. I can’t stop the drinkin’, but I can at least try to keep him home and safe. If he goes back to Johnny’s bar, they’ll throw him in jail.”
Chase crosses his arms, his lips pursing. “He putting up a fight?”
I roll my eyes. “Daddy lives and breathes to fight with me. So yeah, it’s not easy. But I can’t just do nothin’ .” My neck pinches and I gasp, reaching back to try and rub out the kink. “I don’t think I ever realized how uncomfortable the guest bed was, though.”
His brows raise. “You’ve been sleeping there?”
“What am I supposed to do?” I throw my hands out to my sides. “Although sleepin’ is a generous term. More like I lay in the guest room and spend all night worryin’ he’s gonna get alcohol poisonin’ or wake up and try to leave.” I laugh and stare up at the ceiling. “When did I become the parent?”
“Why don’t you just stay in your room?”
“Daddy moved all his stuff in there and turned my room into a ‘man cave’ as soon as I moved out.” I wave off my statement like it doesn’t bother me. “Anyway, I can’t wait till Eli gets in town. They’re gonna stay at the house, so I just have to keep it together till then.”
“Hmm.” He hums, that dang stare of his penetrating through to my bones. I’m not hiding anything, but it unnerves me either way.
I don’t mention that my extracurricular activities are also tiring me out. I’ve been going to the rec center and having quickies with Logan on my lunch break. Normally I wouldn’t be so desperate for an orgasm, but Chase being back has me confused and I need some relief.
Besides, Logan turns off my brain for a while, and that particular brand of numb feels nice.
My phone dings with a text and it’s the perfect excuse to break this weird stare-off with Chase. I look down, and like I thought him into existence, there’s a text from Logan.
Any surprise visits from you today? I’ll be at the rec until 3.
I grin, unlocking the screen to respond.
I can stop by on my lunch break at 12:30?? It will have to be quick.
Must be my lucky day. I don’t have a client until 1:30. Feel like sneaking into the men’s locker room?
I can’t deny the thrill that spikes through me. I never thought I’d be into public places, but I’ve found out this past week it turns me on somethin’ fierce. Biting my lip, I type out a reply.
Chase clears his throat, and I glance up at him. He’s staring at me, his body tense like he knows what I was texting about.
I give him a sheepish smile, my cheeks heating. “Sorry, just makin’ lunch plans. What were we talkin’ about?”
He taps his knuckles on the top of the desk and grins, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Nothing important. I gotta get back to work. Try to get some rest, yeah?”
My chest pinches. “Yeah, sure.”
He rushes out the door, but my gaze lingers for a few minutes longer, wondering why I feel sad that he’s gone.
I don’t see him again, and I don’t look for him as I leave and head to the rec on my lunch break. The quickie with Logan is just what I need to take the edge off, and the high from our tryst lasts through the rest of my workday.
It isn’t until I’m walking through the grocery store that it starts to wear off. I take my time picking up different items and reading labels, mainly because I dread having to stay up all night worrying about Daddy sneaking out, so I’m putting it off for as long as I can. Part of me is worried he’ll be gone by the time I get home, but so far, he hasn’t snuck out once. Just drinks himself silly at home, drowning himself at the kitchen table or in his recliner.
I cannot wait for Eli to get to town. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Daddy needs help and I’m not fit to be giving it to him. I’m trying to get my life together, but for some reason, I keep slamming myself against the walls of his animosity. I decide on burgers for dinner, hoping he isn’t already three sheets to the wind. Maybe I can convince him to man the grill—remind him there’s something he’s capable of doing other than drinking himself into oblivion.
When I finally make it to Daddy’s place, I’m exhausted. I turn off the car and then move the rearview mirror so I can see my face, pinching my cheeks to try and get some color back.
This is as good as it’s gonna get.
There’s nothing I can do to hide the dark circles that line my eyes or the exhaustion seeping from my pores.
I load the groceries into my arms before heading to the front door. I realize I’ll have to ring the bell since I don’t have a free hand to turn the handle, and I send up a prayer that Daddy is still coherent enough to answer.
Let it be a good night. Let it be a good night , I repeat mentally, shifting on my feet and ignoring the weight of the bags.
My heart stalls when the door swings open because it isn’t Daddy who answers, it’s Chase.
He grins, propping his arm on the frame and leaning forward. “Hi.”
“What are you doin’ here?”
I’m too stunned by his presence to argue when he opens the screen door and takes the groceries from my arms. He turns around and walks down the hallway. I follow, mouth gaping. Is he just gonna ignore my question?
“Chase, what are you doin’ here?” I repeat once we make it to the kitchen.
He sets the bags down on the counter and spins to face me.
“Thought I’d drop by, keep your dad company.” He says it so casually, like the words coming out of his mouth are completely normal.
I twist around, searching for Daddy. “Where is he?”
“We’re hanging out on the back patio.”
“You’re just…hangin’ out?”
“Yep.”
Daddy walks in through the back door and I turn my attention to him. “Hi, Daddy.”
He makes eye contact and I lose my breath at seeing how clear his gaze is.
“What’s for dinner?” he asks.
I get no greeting, but that doesn’t surprise me.
“I thought we could make burgers. You up for some grillin’?” I smile wide, hoping he’s in an amicable mood.
He’s already shaking his head, but Chase cuts in.
“Hell yeah. I hope there’s enough for me, too.” He smirks. “Think you can teach me a thing or two, old man?”
To my shock, a grin pulls at Daddy’s lips. What in the world?
“There’s an art to grillin’, boy. Not sure you’re cut out for it.” He looks him up and down.
“Lucky I know you, then.” Chase glances at me and winks. “Unless you’re not up for the challenge.”
My eyes spring back and forth between them. Daddy mutters something about checking the propane and disappears out the back again.
I’m standing in the middle of the kitchen, gobsmacked. What the heck is going on?
Chase moves toward me, angling his head down to look in my eyes. “I hope it’s okay I’m here.”
“Uhh…yeah. Yes, it’s—it’s fine. What—how…”
His eyes twinkle with amusement as I stumble over my words.
“I was at Sam and Anna’s, figured I’d walk over and keep your dad company, give you a break.”
My heart trills. “You’re here for me?”
He puts his hands in his back pockets, briefly lifting his shoulders. “You need rest.” He says it like it’s no big deal—like he’d do this for anybody, and maybe he would. I’m realizing I truly don’t know this Chase at all.
“That’s…” So much gratefulness surges I have to choke it back down. “Thank you,” I manage to whisper.
He walks toward me and cups my cheek, the way he’s been doing almost every time he’s seen me lately. And like usual, I lean into his touch instead of turning away.
“You’re welcome,” he says.
Chase stays for dinner. He mans the grill next to Daddy, who is laughing at something he says. Honest to God, he’s laughing . My heart soars at the sound, but the lighthearted moment doesn’t last, because like usual, Daddy drinks himself into a stupor and starts slurring during dinner.
But he’s home. He’s safe. And he had a good day.
I stare at Chase across the table, my body tingling as I look at him. He didn’t have to spend his time like this, and I know he did it for me—and maybe a little bit for Daddy, too.
I’m the first to stand from the table, picking up the dirty plates and taking them to the sink. Daddy stumbles out to sit in his recliner and watch TV, and I can feel as Chase moves behind me, the static buzzing from how close we are. My hands clench.
He reaches out until his forearms surround me, uncurling my fingers slowly as he places my car keys in my palm.
My eyebrows furrow as I look down at them. “What’s this for?”
“Go home, Alina. Get some sleep. I’ll stay here and make sure your dad stays put. Try out that guest bed and see if you’re lying about how comfortable it is,” he teases.
“What?” I gasp, spinning around. The front of my body brushes against his chest from how close we are, and my hands rise to push against him. “You don’t need to do that. Honestly, Chase, you’ve done more than enough.”
A strand of my hair falls forward, tickling my cheek. He brushes it behind my ear, his fingers lingering, skimming down my face until he’s cupping my jaw. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and my mouth parts, my breathing growing choppy.
“Let someone take care of you for once, Goldi.” His eyes glaze over as his thumb swipes across my mouth.
I bite my tongue to keep from licking my lips so I can taste his touch, and I step away instead.
His hand stays in the air for just a moment before he comes back to himself and drops it down. “Go home. I’ve got it under control.”
I shouldn’t accept his offer. The beat of my stitched-up heart remembers how he shattered it and warns me not to trust him again.
But I’m so tired, so I swallow all my doubts and nod. “Okay. But call me if anything, anything goes wrong, and if you decide you wanna go home, you can call, too, just let me know. It doesn’t matter if it’s?—”
“Goldi.” He chuckles. “It’s fine.”
“Right.” I blow out a breath and start backing up toward the hallway, my eyes never leaving Chase’s. “Thanks, Boy Scout.”
His face breaks into a huge smile at the nickname, and those dang dimples make me grin, too, my heart fluttering.
When I get home, I’m out as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I don’t talk to Chase at work the next day, but I feel his eyes on me.
It shouldn’t excite me the way it does.
And when I get to Daddy’s house that night, Chase is there again, cooking dinner and then pushing me out the door, saying he’ll stay instead.
By the end of the week, we’re in a routine, and as I watch Chase slip Daddy a Dr Pepper instead of a whiskey, I let myself imagine what it would be like if he were mine.
I don’t hate it as much as I should.