Chapter fifty-six
Rylee
Can you feel someone’s love?
I spend the rest of the day laughing and having fun with my girls. It’s a little easier not to think about him as I let myself get wrap up in the magic of the city. Twinkling lights wrap around the trees like golden vine as we walk around the cobblestone.
“Tell me this isn’t the most romantic city in the world.” Luna spins around, her breath fogging in the cold air.
This Christmas is so much better now that she’s here with me. I love seeing her like this, so happy.
“It is, if you have someone to be romantic with.” Sophie laughs, adjusting her gloves.
All eyes turn toward me, and I ignore their knowing stare. The city is too stunning, and too intoxicating to let thoughts of Luc ruin it.
But every now and then I would feel him, like he’s watching me.
After a long day filled with laughter and too much hot chocolate, we’re ready to get home.
Betrand pulls up to the curb to pick us up, holding the door open. “Prêtes à rentrer? (Ready to go?)”
Luna climbs in first, still laughing over something Sophie said. Sophie follows next, and they both sit in the back. Mia and I follow as we sit in the front row.
I lean my head back against the headrest, watching the city lights blur past the window. In the quiet, the ache finds its way back into my chest. And I don’t fight this time. I let myself feel it all. The longing, the doubts, the hurt, and the confusion.
Bertrand turns into the long driveway that leads to Mia’s vineyard before slowing to a stop.
“Thank you, for today. I needed this.” I lean over to hug her goodbye.
“Think about what we talked about okay.” She hugs me back.
I nod.
“Bye, girls.” She waves at them in the back.
“Bye, Mia.” They both wave at the same time.
By the time Bertrand pulls up to the mansion, I’m ready for a shower and my bed, not the couch this time.
“Good night, Mrs. Kingley.” He smiles. He turns to Sophie and Luna. “Bonne nuit les filles (Good night, girls).”
“Bonne nuit, Bertrand,” they say at the same time. When did they become so in sync?
“Good night, Bertrand, and thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
Luna and Sophie walk ahead as we make our way up the stairs, but I catch up to them.
“Hey, sissy.”
She turns to look at me.
“I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Me, too.” She smiles at me.
“I love you, both of you.” I look over at Sophie.
“We love you, too, good night.”
“Good night.” I watch as they disappear down the hallway.
Once they’re gone, the silence settles in. The house feels too big, too empty and now there’s nothing left to distract me.
As soon as I walk inside the room, I close the doors behind me, shedding layers of my clothes as I make my way toward the bathroom. I’m halfway there when I receive a text from Luc. I hadn’t heard from him for the remainder of the day, not since the call at la Perla.
Luc: Bertrand told me you girls made it home okay.
Me:
Yeah.
Luc: What are you doing now?
Me:
About to take a shower.
Luc: Need help?
Me:
Good night, Luc *eye rolls emojis*
Luc: Good night, Rylee.
I lock my phone, tossing it onto the counter before stepping in the shower, letting the hot water drown the thoughts that refuse to leave me alone.
But the moment I step out, reality sinks in. By the time I’m dressed in my pajamas, it should be easy for me to crawl in bed and fall asleep. No such luck.
The sheets are cool against my skin, and my body sinks into the mattress. But my mind refuses to rest.
I exhale, staring at the ceiling. In the silence, all the thoughts I’ve been trying to push away come crawling back.
Can you feel someone’s love? Truly feel it, like it’s wrapping around you, even from far away? Sometimes I think I can. Or maybe… it’s just my own emotions, bouncing back at me.
I toss and turn, but no position is good enough. My thoughts spin, refusing to quiet down.
On one hand, he lied to me—bringing me back to Paris without telling me the truth. My trust feels fractured. But on the other hand, would he go through all of that if he didn’t care? If he didn’t feel something? Deep down, I don’t believe it was just to prove he could have me. That doesn’t feel right. He wouldn’t do that. Would he?
My phone vibrates on the nightstand, pulling me back to the present. I reach for it, the screen glowing faintly in the darkness.
Luc:
Are you awake?
My heart beats a little faster, as though it’s reacting to his message, syncing itself to his presence even from a distance. It’s ridiculous, really, how just three words on a screen can have this effect on me. But I can’t stop it.
My fingers move on their own, typing out a response.
Me:
Yes.
When it comes to him, my head has lost all control. My body, my heart, everything reacts to him.
Luc:
Can I call you?
I just need to hear your voice.
Luc:
Please *pleading emojis*
Me:
*eye-roll emojis* Okay,
but you have one minute.
I barely hit send before his call comes through. My heart races as I answer
“Hi.”
Why do I feel so shy? It’s just him.
“Hi.” His voice is husky, like he’s been waiting to hear my voice.
“Why are you awake?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Because you were thinking about me?”
“Who says I was thinking about you?” I pull the blanket tighter around me.
“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?”
“A what?” A surprised laugh escapes me, even though I’m still a little mad at him. “Can you even sing?”
“No.” He chuckles.
“Then why would you even ask?”
“I don’t know.” He laughs again.
The laughter feels good, but my curiosity wins out. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah anything.”
I hesitate, unsure If I really want the answer.
“Did you love Margot?”
He exhales slowly, and there’s a pause before he speaks again. “Yes, I did love her.”
“Oh.”
My chest tightens, the air harder to breathe. I’ve never loved anyone before. The idea that he has loved someone first doesn’t sit right with me.
“Do you still love her?”
“No. And I know what you’re thinking.”
I hold my breath, waiting.
“You’re thinking I’ll stop loving you, too, one day, but you’re wrong. What I felt for Margot is nothing like what I feel for you.”
“How come?” My voice is barely a whisper, my heart caught between hope and doubt.
“Love is a basic need,” he begins. “We crave it. To be loved, to love—it’s something we all search for. Whether it’s platonic, familial, or romantic. But loving you, it’s not just a need, Rylee. It’s a necessity, like breathing. It’s not something I can choose to do or not do—it just is. Loving you feels like I’ve grown another organ, something vital. And without you, I wouldn’t be whole. Without you, it’s like living with a missing lung.”
What do I even do with this information?
“Aren’t you scared that one day this might end, too? That I’ll walk away?”
“Terrified, actually,” he admits. “Did it hurt when Margo cheated on me? Yes. We grew up together, and our love was sweet and comfortable. And I never dated anyone after that. Then I met Mia and told myself that I could fall in love with her because she wasn’t Margot. I knew she was different. I realized I do love her, but not in a romantic way, and that was okay. But then, I met you.”
I close my eyes, thinking about the first time I met him. The way everything around me disappeared and it felt like we were the only ones in the room.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” It’s his turn to ask a question now.
Soulmates? My mind drifts back to the psychic’s words. Only the original soulmates can break the spell. Whatever that meant, I still didn’t understand it. “I… I don’t know.”
“Would it freak you out if I told you I believe you’re my soulmate?” he continues.
My breath catches. “What?”
“When I’m around you, there’s this part of me that feels at home. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like you’re where I’m supposed to be.”
“Luc… please stop.” This is too much, too overwhelming. His words feel like they’re peeling back layers I’ve worked so hard to protect. “Please.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”
There’s a silence between us, the kind that’s heavy but not uncomfortable.
He speaks again, gently this time. “How about I read you a book to help you fall asleep?”
“Okay,” I say, too drained to argue.