Chapter 29 #2
“I thought she saw an opportunity with Hayes, and when he didn’t do what she wanted, she made her own.
She’s a snake, always was. Didn’t change that she was the Force commander.
” Levi ran a hand over his short hair. “We were escorted to the Gym after Hayes was stable. We thought it was to be detained or publicly executed; I think that’s what Hayes hoped for.
Instead, she made him a hero in front of the entire Force.
Spun some bullshit story that Balakin had orchestrated a coup.
That Hayes, Henderson, and Kaleo had thwarted a mutiny.
She gave them their own Exploratory Units, preserving Mission Hope. ”
My heart ached violently. How did Tristian keep going?
Moments between Burdon and him swirled around my head.
I don’t allow Angels in my ranks. Make the Angel fall.
She had told the Force that because she had seen to the end of his Angels.
How Tristian had confronted her in her office.
I’ve already told you once—if this is between you and me, keep it there.
Anger swept in at the number of times she had summoned him.
“I know the man you see, the man everyone sees, in him, but there are things he carries that he will never let you see. That mission nearly destroyed him, Sasha. He believes that because he refused to become the Force commander, he opened the door for where we are now. He thinks he’s doomed Haven.
He hasn’t forgiven himself. He never will. ”
“But—”
“You’re my partner and my friend. I like you.” Levi’s piercing gaze locked on me. “Use this against him, to hurt him, and that will change. I am trusting you because I know deep down under all the shit you carry, this is your unit too.”
The story mixed with his belief in me was overwhelming.
“You were right, what you said when you took the stitches out.” Levi stretched out on the sofa as if he might sleep there—a physical deterrent, keeping me here instead of tracking down Tristian. “Hayes is good to his core. You are too.”
I shook my head. He was wrong. The things I had done, the people I had failed. I stood, heading to bed.
“I know you don’t believe it, Phoenix, but”—Levi shifted, staring at the ceiling—“it’s never too late to burn it all down and rise from your ashes.”
Three more days passed, and I didn’t see Tristian.
I had thought desire had set my skin ablaze; maybe it was something else as I sat every night on the couch watching the door.
An unending vigil. Levi’s story and my thoughts whirled, a dizzying backdrop to the chaos held beneath the surface in Haven.
While I tried to stay one step ahead of Bretta and Daisy, both refused to get better.
Unit Seven kept coming and going but not their commander.
Deaths occurred each time I entered the Ward.
Fights kept breaking out in the tunnels.
Patrol was one big babysitting job as those feelings from the war reemerged and people’s beasts were reborn.
Despite everything, all I could think about was the look in Tristian’s eyes—the want I confessed growing, consuming me.
Time is running out. I’m not going to spend the end pretending.
Maybe I should burn it all down…
I stood abruptly, unable to sit in it one minute longer.
“Where’s Commander’s Hall?” I asked Levi. He stayed up with me each night. His massages morphed into stretches as he pushed his arm to heal. “It’s down the hall on the left, right?”
Levi’s full mouth thinned, but he didn’t deny it.
“What room?”
“Sasha—”
“Room.”
“Nine.”
I stood, stopping at the door to slip on my boots.
“What’s your plan?” Levi asked.
“I don’t have one,” I told him. I meant it, but I had to see Tristian.
“Have you thought about this?” Levi asked, coming to a stand. “You can’t go back once you do whatever it is you’re planning.”
It was all I had thought about. I grabbed the handle. “Burdon has been using me to hurt him.”
Levi didn’t deny it.
“I’ve been hurting him,” I admitted out loud, shame pressing me into the ground.
“Yes.”
I met his glowing blue eyes. “You’re right, Raven. This is my unit.”
I took off, barreling through the tunnels until I stood before a door with a 9 carved into it. Maybe there was no going back from this. Maybe I didn’t care anymore. I knocked softly.
Footsteps sounded, drawing closer. My heart slammed into my ribs as the door cracked open. Tristian looked tired, his hair undone.
“Is something wrong?” Tristian asked, opening the door to reveal him in nothing but his briefs.
I met his eyes, took a steadying breath, and silently crossed the threshold. He watched me, searching. I reached my hand out, laying it on his chest. His heart matched my erratic beat. I rose on my toes, ghosting my lips over his in permission.
I lit a match in my soul and let the flames engulf me.
I ran my tongue over his lip. He parted for me. I left my hand on his chest, the other going up into his hair, tugging him closer. The door closed behind me. A lock clicked as his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him.
I pushed every word I couldn’t get out against his lips until it became a desperate thing as his hand glided up my spine and he cradled the base of my head in his strong grip. My other hand plunged into his soft hair, pulling him closer as the flames licked every inch of me, my core past aching.
My tongue met his, a plea upon it. Wanting more.
Needing more. Tristian met my desperation, tugging me even closer until I felt him through the fabric of his briefs.
A breathy moan fell from my mouth as I withdrew my hand from his hair, venturing down—over his sculpted chest, his abs, my fingers running along his waistband.
“Sasha.” Tristian groaned, shuddering as he released me. Cold swept in where his hands had been as he gently pushed me back. His chest heaved, a war raging in his gaze. “I can’t use you. I won’t.”
I tugged my shirt over my head with steady hands, letting it fall to the ground.
I unclasped my bra before removing my father’s pistol and knife, placing them on top of my shirt, then shimmied out of my pants.
I stood before him in nothing but my underwear.
Those green eyes traced the lines of exposed skin, his pupils dilating, then found mine.
I held his gaze, letting the rawness seep in, laying me bare.
My bravery was unsteady, but I wouldn’t run.
“Then lie to me.” I stepped closer to him.
“Sasha,” he choked out, devastation and ruin in his eyes.
“And I’ll lie to you too,” I admitted softly, my pulse drumming painfully against my skin. “I’ll lie and say you’re just a distraction. That that’s all there is between us.”
Tristian’s eyes flared as he drank in the look in mine. They couldn’t lie.
“Please, pretend,” I whispered.
One moment, I stood before him, exposed and desperate; the next, I was in the safety of his arms as our bodies collided hard enough to rattle the stars.