CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Amelia thought she might hear from Ben on Saturday, but he didn’t call or text. She hadn’t just sat around and waited for him to contact her, however.
She’d spent the morning and part of the afternoon trying to get caught up on the things that had slipped during the week because of the pain she’d been dealing with.
Having pain and fatigue as a constant presence in her body, she’d learned to spread out her housework across the week. When her pain had been at its worst that week, she hadn’t done her laundry or vacuumed the carpet.
Though she wished she could do everything she’d missed, she settled for just doing her laundry. She even managed to get it folded and put away before she met up with her mom and Layla at their favorite café in town.
Though the testing was uppermost in her mind as they had coffee together, Amelia didn’t tell them about it. She didn’t want to get their hopes up. As it was, she was struggling to keep her own hopes in check.
The next day, when she got to church, she looked around for Layla and Grant. She usually sat with Layla when Grant was at the firehouse, but she didn’t always do that when he was there. He preferred to sit closer to the front, while Amelia didn’t.
Sure enough, when she spotted them, they were down near the front of the sanctuary. Her parents also sat in the same row, closer to the podium.
“Hey, Amelia.”
Turning, she spotted Ben standing just behind her, with Luca a few paces behind him. “Hey.”
“Are you sitting with Layla?” he asked.
“No. She and Grant sit at the front when he’s here.”
“Would you mind if I sat with you?” he asked.
“That’ll probably start some rumors.”
Ben shrugged. “I don’t care if you don’t.”
Amelia considered it for a moment before giving a shrug of her own. “I guess I don’t really either.”
"Okay, then. Let's find a spot."
They made their way over to a row near the back. The cushioned seat felt firm beneath Amelia as she sat down, leaving just enough space between them to be comfortable without seeming distant.
Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that Luca had taken a seat in the row behind them.
Ben placed his Bible on the seat beside him and leaned slightly toward her. "How are you feeling today?"
"Better," she said, and it wasn't a complete lie. The worst of the pain had receded, but it was still worse than what she usually dealt with. "Yesterday helped. I needed the break.”
“Did you just rest all day?” he asked.
“No. I had things I needed to do in my apartment, but I could pace myself and rest when I needed to.”
Amelia spotted Ben’s parents making their way down the aisle with another older couple at their side. “Who’s with your mom and dad?”
Ben glanced over and shook his head. “No clue. They’ve made friends here in the church who I don’t know.”
“Was it a surprise to find out your parents were attending this church?”
“Not my mom because she’s been a Christian since I was a teen. My dad, however… yeah, it was a bit of a surprise to hear that he had started to come to church here with my mom. I’m very glad though.”
“I think our two families make up a good chunk of the people here,” Amelia said, spotting her cousin, Peyton, walking down the center aisle with his wife and their kids, as well as his parents, Jay and Misha.
Ben chuckled. “It does seem so. I’m surprised by how much the church has grown since I attended here as a teen.”
“I’m not sure what prompted the growth, but I think the school has helped.”
Their conversation died away as the group of people who’d walked onto the stage began to play their instruments.
Amelia couldn’t count how many times she’d sat in a seat at this church for worship. As a teenager, she’d looked forward to it. As a young adult, she’d tried her best to fit it into her busy schedule.
But now? Now she was there because she thought it was expected of her. Plus, if people saw her at church each Sunday, volunteering for things, they wouldn’t know that inside, she was struggling with her faith.
As so many of her prayers for her health went unanswered, her faith had begun to waver. God had allowed so much to be taken from her and left her with broken dreams and a future that seemed to only hold pain.
Still, she came each Sunday, volunteered to help out in the café, and hoped that people couldn’t see the despair that consumed her.
The service began its usual format, with familiar faces. She was even related to a couple of the people on the stage. Her large and involved family meant that most Sundays there was a relative of hers participating in the service.
Ben sang along with all the songs, which told her that he still attended church frequently enough to know the newer music. She wondered if he was a member of a church in New York.
When the pastor stood up, Amelia opened her Bible. The pastor who had been there when she’d been a teen had retired, and this new pastor had been there for around five years.
She liked him well enough, though she’d always appreciated Pastor Kennedy, whose son was married to one of her aunts.
When the pastor took his place behind the podium, he said, “Before I give my sermon today, I’d like to invite Cole Halverson to join me to share a bit about the basketball clinics he’s been running over the past couple of weeks here at the church.
We’ve undertaken it as an outreach ministry, and Cole has shared with me how God is working, and I’d like him to tell you about it too. ”
Cole stood from where he’d been sitting in the front row and climbed the steps to the podium.
Amelia was curious about what he’d share because while she’d been helping out with clinic registration, she didn’t know what had gone on inside the gym.
“I may be the one giving this report,” Cole said as he took the pastor’s place behind the mic. “But I couldn’t have done what I have without the help of many others. So, before I go on, I’d like to ask anyone who has helped with the clinic who is here to please stand.”
Ben stood, but Amelia stayed sitting since she didn’t think she’d been that involved.
“You too, Amelia,” Cole said from the podium. “And Miss Marian. You’ve both helped keep us organized, and we appreciate that.”
Amelia stood, using the seat in front of her to leverage herself up. Pain pulsed through her legs, but she willed herself to stand steady.
“I am thankful for each of you, and I want you to know that you have played a role in touching the lives of the young kids and teens who have been part of the clinics.”
After the recognition, Cole let them sit back down, and then he continued to give a report of what had transpired over the course of the past two weeks.
“We are thankful for the teens from the church who have brought their friends and have played a part in showing others the love of God. Please continue to pray for the upcoming clinics. We need to reach this next generation with the truth, especially in a world that is so filled with lies and darkness. Pray that we can offer them hope, regardless of their circumstances.”
Even though she was struggling with her own relationship with God, she was glad that the clinics were reaching the teens with more than just ways to improve their basketball skills.
“Thank you, Cole,” the pastor said after Cole had finished and returned to his seat. “And like Cole, I urge you to keep the upcoming clinics in your prayers.”
The pastor then turned his attention to his Bible.
“Today, I want us to focus on a passage from James chapter five. Verse eleven says, Indeed, we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”
Amelia shifted in her seat, the verse’s words about perseverance striking a nerve. Job had lost everything, but God had restored it all, and more, to him in the end.
But what about her? Where was her restoration? Where was God's mercy in the constant pain that filled her days?
She wasn't Job. She was just Amelia, and some days maintaining her faith felt impossible when every morning brought fresh pain.
She glanced at Ben, who was listening intently, his Bible open on his lap. His profile was striking in the light streaming through the stained-glass windows. The same face she'd known and loved as a teenager, yet matured and refined by the years that had passed.
Ben shifted beside her, his shoulder brushing against hers momentarily. The brief contact pulled her from her thoughts, and she tried to refocus on the sermon.
The pastor was speaking about endurance through trials, drawing parallels between Job's suffering and the challenges Christians faced in the current day. His words washed over Amelia without fully penetrating her thoughts.
"Sometimes we wonder why God allows suffering in our lives," the pastor continued, his voice rising with conviction. "But we must remember that God sees the bigger picture. He is working for our good even when we don't understand His ways."
Amelia stared at her open Bible, her fingertips tracing the edge of the thin pages. The pastor's words felt hollow against the reality of her daily struggles. She wanted to believe God had a purpose in her pain, but she just couldn’t see it.
The pastor's words about purpose in suffering grated against the reality of her life. What possible purpose could there be in stripping away her career, her future, her joy?
What had been the purpose of her Olympic medals if they were now tucked away in a drawer, reminders of a life she could no longer live? What was the purpose of the pain that had stolen her dreams?
Ben's Bible rustled beside her as he turned a page. Amelia glanced at him, noting the slight furrow in his brow as he focused on the sermon. She wondered if he ever questioned God's plan, or if his faith remained steady through the ups and downs of his life.
When the service finally ended, Amelia glanced up to find Ben watching her, concern in his eyes. He leaned closer, his shoulder brushing hers again.