CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
As he neared the main house, Ben decided he wasn’t ready to go in just yet, so he veered off onto the road that would take him past Annie’s house before looping back past Jude and Angie’s.
Though the sun had fully set, wrought-iron globe lamp posts illuminated the road.
As he walked, Ben felt a strong need to really give the situation with Amelia some thought. He had to ignore his emotions, set aside his love for her, and look at it very practically.
If he was going to go to Amelia and tell her that he wanted to be by her side as she dealt with her health issues, he needed to be able to show her that he’d put thought into his decision. That he wasn’t just letting emotion drive him forward.
Without knowing exactly what her diagnosis might be, he could only go on what she’d told him already and what he’d witnessed himself. The main things he knew about were the pain she experienced in her muscles and joints and the exhaustion that seemed to overwhelm her without any reason.
She’d already hinted about how difficult it was to plan too far in advance. About how she sometimes had to back out of plans at the last minute because of an increase in her pain or her exhaustion.
Would that be a difficult thing to handle?
On the surface, Ben had to admit that it might be. But the flip side to that was that outside of his work, it was rare that he was so locked into something that he couldn’t be flexible about it.
Unlike his mom and dad, he didn’t have a super busy social life.
Even though his dad had retired and they no longer lived in New York City, they still returned a few times a year for big social events, like the Burke Foundation fundraiser.
Those were events at which his parents had to make an appearance.
That wasn’t the case for him. He attended some events, but his presence wasn’t demanded, and he knew that his parents would be understanding if he had to miss something because of Amelia’s health.
On a more personal note, he did have to wonder how her pain and exhaustion might affect an intimate relationship.
As teens, she’d been happy to hug and kiss him, though they’d established definite physical boundaries.
Ben had no idea how she felt about physical contact now, though.
It was something he needed to consider, however, because he wasn’t just interested in a long-term dating situation.
He wanted marriage, and with marriage came intimacy.
Realistically, as long as they communicated how they were feeling with regards to that intimacy, he thought they could make it work.
As he walked along in the darkness, Ben came to the conclusion that open and honest communication was going to be key if a relationship was going to work between them.
The unfortunate part was that Amelia didn’t seem to want to be very open about her health situation. Would she be willing to work on that?
There was one thing that Ben had that could make everything easier, and that was money.
If they were to get married, she wouldn’t need to work. On the days when she felt bad, she could do what she needed to without worrying about having to miss work. If that meant staying in bed, she could do that. If it was just lying low at home, she could do that too.
It would be an easy thing to offer her. A life of luxury that would make dealing with her diagnosis easier.
But even though he could offer her that, it wasn’t what Ben needed her to know.
What he needed her to understand was that with or without money, he’d be there for her. With or without money, he would be there to support her through the bad days and to celebrate the good ones.
He would be there to hold her when she cried, to listen when she needed to vent, and to simply be present when all she needed was someone to sit with her in silence.
That was what love meant to him. Not fixing everything, because he knew he couldn't, but standing by her side through whatever came their way.
Ben glanced up at the star-filled sky, breathing in the cool evening air. The scent of pine and earth filled his senses, grounding him as his thoughts continued to race.
But in spite of that, his heart was settled. He knew now what he needed to tell her. He just had to figure out how to tell her in a way that would help her understand that he was sincere.
His steps slowed as he neared Annie’s old house. He’d spent plenty of time in it. Evenings doing his homework in front of her fireplace or overnights in the downstairs room Annie had set up for him to use when his parents were away. Now the house sat dark and empty.
Could it be a home for him?
Though his dad had offered to build him his own place, Ben had resisted, and he still wasn’t sure about doing that just yet. But for the time being, maybe he could move into Annie’s old place, just to have a space of his own while he was at the estate.
If things went the way he hoped with Amelia, Annie’s place wouldn’t work for them in the long run. He’d already seen that stairs could be an issue for Amelia, and Annie’s house had a flight of them going to the loft where the master bedroom was located.
He’d have to make sure that any home he had built was all on one level for her sake. But he didn’t want to start the process of building a house until he knew what was going to happen between him and Amelia.
Turning, Ben moved away from Annie’s and continued down the road past Jude and Angie’s house. Like Julian’s home, theirs also had windows lit up with warm, golden light.
Ben stared at it for a moment, then continued on to the main house. His mind was moving on to what he needed to do to make the estate his permanent home.
He gave a laugh as he neared the main house. He never would have guessed when he’d landed in Serenity earlier that summer that he’d be considering making the estate home once again.
At least he’d be making his mom and dad happy.
Before he went to bed, he took the time to send Amelia a text, not expecting an answer since it was already after ten, and he suspected she had gone to bed early.
Hey, beautiful. Just wanted to say goodnight. I hope you have a restful sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling better. xoxo
He wasn’t sure people used xoxo anymore, but it conveyed the affection he held for her. He didn’t think she was ready for the love conversation just yet, so affection would have to be enough for now.
When Ben woke up the next morning, there was a text waiting for him. He frowned when he saw it had been sent at three o’clock in the morning.
Amelia: Well, considering how tired I can feel some days, you’d think I’d sleep like a log at night, but that’s a rare occurrence.
I usually wake up once or twice during the night.
Thankfully, I’m not in much pain tonight.
I’ll probably be awake for a little while, but then hopefully I can sleep a bit more before I get up. Hope you had a better night than I did.
No x’s or o’s from her, but she’d responded. He’d consider that a win. And when it came to Amelia, he’d take all the wins he could get, especially the small ones.
Before getting ready for the day, he sent her another message.
Good morning, sunshine! Hope you managed to get more sleep. I’m looking forward to seeing you this afternoon. xoxo
The morning clinic passed without incident, and after they finished their lunch, Ben took Luca, and they went to the nearby coffee shop where he ordered an iced mocha latte and a chocolate croissant.
When they returned to the gym, Ben saw that Amelia had arrived. Luca stood back as Ben approached the table. He waited until the teens who were talking to her cleared away, then he stepped up and set the cup and the bag holding the croissant down in front of her.
“Coffee delivery.”
Amelia looked at the items, then up at him. “Coffee delivery?”
“I thought you might want a coffee this afternoon.”
She reached for the cup, wrapping her hand around it. “I do. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. How’s your day going?”
“Better than yesterday.” She took a sip of her coffee and hummed in appreciation. “And this improves my day even more.”
Ben was encouraged by the fact that she was doing better, and also that she appreciated the coffee.
When a whistle blew in the gym, Ben said, “Duty calls. Chat later.”
Ben gave her a wink, then headed into the gym. He wanted to ask her if she was interested in having dinner with him but decided to put that aside for the moment.
He made his way into the gym, joining Cole and the other volunteers who were already setting up for the day's activities. The teens were scattered around the court, some shooting baskets while others stood in small groups chatting.
Ben's mind stayed partially on Amelia even as he focused on organizing the drills.
The clinic went smoothly. The troublemakers from earlier in the week weren't present, and the atmosphere felt lighter, more focused. Ben enjoyed working with the kids who genuinely wanted to improve their basketball skills, especially the ones who struggled but kept trying anyway.
Just before the break, he made his way back to the table where Amelia sat, watching her carefully as he approached. She looked up from her laptop, a small smile forming when she saw him. The mocha latte was nearly gone, and the bag that had held the croissant lay empty beside it.
"Was the croissant good?" Ben asked, taking the seat next to her.
"It was perfect," Amelia said. "Thank you again."
Her color looked better today, he noticed with relief. The shadows under her eyes weren't as pronounced, and there was a bit more life in her expression.
Bending over, he took the drinks out of the cooler and put them on the table, while Amelia arranged the snacks. He enjoyed working alongside her. It was as if they were a team.
After Cole had finished sharing with the group, they all filed out of the gym to grab drinks and snacks.
“Are you interested in going out for dinner tonight?” Ben asked when it was just the two of them at the table.