Chapter 17
Seventeen
B ecky forced herself not to retreat anymore, like there was any place for her to go. She had moved back, putting the kitchen counter between them, because… It was too hard for her to stand there face-to-face. She felt too vulnerable.
Then he called her scary and made her feel like there was something wrong with her.
She knew he didn’t really mean it, but still, the idea that she was fierce wasn’t exactly a compliment when he said it like that.
“I think we should focus on what we need to do right now. You’re right.
I’m overwhelmed with everything else, and I don’t really want to talk about this right now.
” There. She said it. Five years ago, she would have loved to talk to him.
She wanted to hash it all out, but now… Now it just hurt and felt terrible, and she didn’t know whether to believe him or not.
After all, it made sense, but if he loved her, would he really have shut her out?
Maybe she just needed to process it.
“As you wish,” he said, pushing back away from the counter and going back over to the living room, checking on the babies.
“It seems like once they’re asleep, it doesn’t matter how much we talk, they don’t wake up,” he said, very casually, like he hadn’t just been baring his heart to her.
Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just feeding her a line.
She knew Rodney wasn’t like that. Not the Rodney that she used to know. But she really didn’t know this man. He’d only been back for less than a week, after five years of absolute silence.
“All right. I think I have figured out what we need. I can go right now and get the stuff. I’m just going to get necessities. They sent us home with a lot of diapers, but we definitely need bottles and something to clean them with.”
“Okay.”
She listed a few more things off. He agreed, but then he said, “Are we gonna stay here?”
She looked up at him. Her eyes wide. She didn’t have anywhere else to stay.
“I’ll have to go through Rita’s things. She didn’t go over anything with me. But the rental info is in there somewhere, I’m sure. I… I don’t know if she was current or not.”
“How would you feel about buying a place in Raspberry Ridge?”
“Um… For you?”
“For you and the babies. I… I wouldn’t stay there.”
She stared at him. He was offering to buy a house for her and the babies. Or just a place for them to stay.
“What would be the agreement? I can stay as long as I’m taking care of the babies?”
“It would be your house. You would stay there with the babies. I would help as much as I can, be there all day, but… I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to live there.”
“No. It’s not a good idea for us to live together. I agree completely. I guess I just figured until we figure this out, we were probably going to have to spend some nights together, but we wouldn’t be sleeping or anything.”
“Right.” He closed his lips and didn’t look super happy, but he didn’t say anything else.
“So you have a problem with that?” she asked. That was what they were supposed to be doing—talking about stuff, not getting angry, pushing their lips together, and looking away.
“No. I don’t. You’re right. And I guess I was just thinking I wasn’t sure whether you would get upset if I told you that I already had a real estate agent on it, and they found a house with stables and forty acres just a little north of Raspberry Ridge.
It’s not right on the lake, and there are no lake views, but it’s within walking distance of town.
So, we could walk down our lane and walk into town.
But if you’re looking for something with a lake view?—”
“I was living in an unfinished one-room apartment above the stable. I’m not picky about whether or not I get a lake view.
” She didn’t really want to admit where she’d been, but the idea that she would be picky about whether or not she had a lake view was absolutely ridiculous.
“But we don’t need a stable. We don’t need forty acres.
I… I cannot allow you to buy me a house.
But I will however allow you to provide a place for the babies and me to stay…
for I don’t know how long. I guess I need a little bit of time to figure things out. ”
She’d already talked to Vera about how she probably wouldn’t be able to clean her house for a bit, but hopefully they could work things out.
It felt like she’d been trying to do that for a while, and every time she got close, they started talking about something that didn’t matter.
Or something that mattered too much and she couldn’t focus on the day-to-day living.
“All right then. I would really like for you to look at it, but I’ve been assured that it’s in pristine condition and move-in ready.”
“I’m not sure where you’re talking about, but it might be the house that was just built.
People came in, built it, and I think the husband’s company transferred him to Oklahoma or something.
And they had to put it up for sale.” She didn’t always get the gossip around town, but there had been some chatter about that.
She’d been especially interested in it because the woman had seemed to be a horse lover.
But she had Arabians, and Becky had not really been interested in them.
Although she loved watching them. They were beautiful horses.
“It sounds like it might be the same place. My realtor said something about that.”
“All right.”
She supposed she needed to stop worrying about the future and just take it day by day. So he was going to buy a place. She was allowed to stay there. That was the best she could do for right now.
“If I hurry, I might be able to get back before the babies wake up. Are you okay if I go?”
He nodded, not looking particularly pleased, but she thought that was more because he felt like they still had things to talk about and they didn’t have everything hashed out that he wanted to.
She knew the feeling, and maybe she was running away, just a little.
She grabbed her coat, her purse, and her keys and hurried out the door.
The one nice thing about Rita’s place in the suburbs of Chicago was that it wasn’t far to the nearest store, and she was able to get everything in less than half an hour.
She really wanted to buy a whole pile of baby equipment, but her car wouldn’t be able to hold everything she needed plus what she wanted.
Not to mention, Rita’s apartment was too small anyway.
For now, the babies could sleep in their car seats.
But they were going to need cribs or bassinets or something.
She also made a quick stop to grab some lunch and pick up a few groceries. In all, she was gone for forty-five minutes. That was unheard of in Raspberry Ridge. It took almost that long to just get to a grocery store.
Still, she would rather have the drive than live in the city. Although, she wasn’t going to complain about convenience.
When she unlocked the door to Rita’s apartment, Rodney was standing on the other side.
She didn’t hear any crying, so she assumed the babies were still asleep.
He pulled the door open and held it while she walked in.
“Everything good?” she asked in a soft voice as she carried the bags to the counter. She figured he was right. Once the babies were asleep, it didn’t seem to matter how loud they were, but maybe new noises after silence would bother them. Regardless, it seemed prudent to talk softly.
“Everything’s fine. I take it you have more stuff in the car?”
“I do. I can walk out with you. I think if we each make a trip, we’ll bring it all in.”
“I didn’t know if you got any baby paraphernalia that might be pretty big?”
“No. I thought about it, but first of all, Rita’s apartment isn’t that big, and second of all, if we’re moving…
I just didn’t know.” It hurt to think about moving away from Rita.
Like leaving her apartment meant she was really gone.
She had to push those thoughts away, or she wasn’t going to be able to function.
“I talked to my real estate agent while you were gone, and if we want to drive up and take a look at it, we can. I know you have…a funeral to plan, and I can help you with that too. So it’s totally up to you.”
Her heart squeezed. “Did you call the funeral director? Could he meet us here?”
“Yeah. He’s coming at two o’clock,” he said as they reached the car and she clicked the key fob so that the back opened.
She wasn’t used to this whole key fob thing, but the used-car salesman had given her a quick rundown before she’d driven it out of the lot.
There wasn’t much storage space, but she’d been able to get everything in.
“This looks like a lot of stuff for two little kids.”
“I bought lunch, and I bought a few groceries so we had something to eat tonight and tomorrow. I… I seem to be incapable of planning long-term, because it’s just not settled in my mind what’s going to happen.”
“All right. Well, maybe we can get you settled faster. I’ll call the real estate agent and tell him we’ll meet him at the house at five o’clock this evening.
That should give us plenty of time to take care of the babies after the funeral director leaves.
I don’t think we’ll be able to settle on the house superfast, but considering that it’s a new construction, maybe I’m wrong. ”
“Yeah. I knew nothing about it.”
Sometimes people were able to pull strings and make things happen quickly, and Rodney seemed like he was that kind of guy, but he didn’t used to be, and it was odd to think of him that way. So she didn’t say anything.