15. Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Mira
S avannah was alive, buzzing with the kind of energy that comes with a hot July night, the air thick with humidity and laughter from the bars and restaurants lining the streets. Couples strolled hand in hand, and groups of friends spilled out onto sidewalks, their conversations blending into the music drifting from open windows. Lights from the buildings flickered above. I felt like a milkmaid playing princess!
Nova had texted me on my burner phone that had enough minutes to last me for a couple of weeks if I was careful. But Beau was getting me a new phone soon, I thought with a smile, and reread Nova's message. Beau and everyone were on the rooftop. She wished me luck in surprising him.
I was about to find the stairs at The Peregrine when I heard my name.
"...someone like Mira?"
I froze, my heart sinking into my stomach. The world around me dulled as Fallon's voice sliced through the noise, sharper than the summer heat pressing against my skin.
I looked around and saw Fallon and Beau standing close to one another by the stairs.
Fallon's tone was cold, dripping with disdain. "She's uneducated, Beau. Once the lust evaporates, how is she going to hold your interest? You like your women smart, unless all you want to do is fuck them, or have you forgotten?"
My breath caught in my throat. I wanted to move, to walk away, but my feet were rooted to the ground. Every word she said struck me more brutally than the last. Someone pushed past me to go up the stairs while I just stood like a fool, waiting for Beau to speak.
His voice followed, quieter. "Mira's good with Pari, and that's all I care about."
That's all I care about? What the hell did that mean? All I was to him was someone to take care of my niece?
I felt like the air had been sucked out of me, like I was standing in the middle of the busiest street in Savannah and yet completely alone. Fallon continued, her voice smug now like she knew she had the upper hand. "Honestly, I don't even know how you can be physically attracted to her. She's hardly in the league of women you like to bed. She's so freaking child-like. A kid. You could do so much better, and you know it."
Is this what everyone thought? That Beau could do better? Is that what he thought? Is that why nothing had happened since that one time we'd kissed? My skin prickled with humiliation, my heart pounded, like it was trying to break through my ribs and escape. How could I stand here, listening to this—when I knew Beau would not defend me? Because no one ever had. Why should he be any different?
"I'm not attracted to her, Fallon," he said, "Let it go."
"So, you don't have any feelings for her?"
"She's my daughter's aunt. Can we drop this now?"
"No. I thought you were sleeping with her and that was why you were avoiding me." Fallon sounded angry.
"Christ, Fallon! Of course, I'm avoiding you. What do you expect? Every time we talk, you want to hammer on about how Mira needs to go—and I need her, Fallon. She's the one who's taking care of Pari."
Fallon sighed loudly. "Then hire a nanny. I can give you some recommendations. Give that girl some money, and get her out of your life."
"Fallon, fuckin' hell. Give it a rest, will you?"
"Are you sure you're not sleepin' with her, Beau?"
I waited to hear his response.
"No, I'm not. As you said, she's child-like. Why the hell would I have sex with her? And fuckin' her would complicate this whole thing with Pari. So, rest assured I have no interest whatsoever beyond Mira's role as my daughter's aunt. Okay?"
"Well, at least you're showing some sense."
Damn it! I was such an idiot. Here I was thinking he was into me, and he only saw me as Pari's aunt. That's all. I had gotten dressed and made up to seduce him, and he…didn't want me.
You're damaged goods, Mira, you know that. No one wants you.
I needed to get out of there. Fast.
I spun on my heel, my vision blurred by the tears I was trying to hold back, and hurried toward Anson's car parked just down the street. The people milling around didn't notice me; I was just another face in the crowd, just another person in the middle of a busy Friday night in Savannah. The warm breeze felt suffocating now, like the air itself was closing in on me.
But then I heard my name.
"Mira!"
I didn't stop. I couldn't.
"Mira, wait!" Beau's voice was closer now, sharp, cutting through the noise around me. I reached the car and yanked at the door handle, my hands trembling, but before I could get inside, Beau grabbed my arm gently, turning me around to face him. His expression was frantic, his eyes searching mine, but I couldn't meet them. I couldn't look at him.
"Mira," he said, and I pulled my arm away from him.
Don't touch me , my body screamed. Please don't touch me.
"Everything okay, Mira?" Anson's driver asked as he stepped out of the car. I bit down on my lower lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.
"It's fine, Conner," Beau replied. "I've got this."
The driver looked at me and when I nodded, went back into the car. I tried to move away from Beau, but he put a hand on my arm, gentle this time but still arresting. "No," he said firmly. "I was only tryin' to put her off, that's all."
He didn't need to explain who her was. He knew I'd overheard Fallon and him. Could my humiliation get any worse?
"I…I have to go. I…Nova and Anson are with Pari…I have to go." I felt light-headed. Why did I listen to Nova? I'd dressed up like a bitch in heat, and Beau didn't even want me. The joke was, as always, on me. I wasn't good for much to him, but taking care of Pari…until when? Until he hired a nanny. Then he'd get rid of me.
"Mira, please, just hear me out," he said, his voice softer now, urgent. "That wasn't—what you heard, that's not—"
"Not what?" I asked weakly, finally looking up at him, my voice breaking under the strain of the hurt clawing its way up my throat. "Not what it sounded like? Because it sounded pretty damn clear to me, Beau."
He swallowed hard, his grip loosening on my arm but not letting go. "I'm not telling Fallon how I feel. I was just trying to get away from her. Then I saw you and—"
"You're doing damage control," I cut in, stepping back, and pulling myself free from his grasp. "I get it. Don't worry. I'll still take care of Pari. I'll always take care of her. She's my baby, even if I didn't give birth to her. I'm not with her because you need me to take care of her, I'm here because she needs to be taken care of. It's what Asha wanted."
Beau let me go, and ran a hand through his hair, frustration flashing in his eyes. "I didn't want to cause a scene with Fallon, Mira. She's not important. You are."
I stared at him in disbelief.
He took a step closer, his voice more certain now. "I care about you, darlin'. And I want you. I know you want me."
"You said that—"
"Shh," he breathed, and pulled me to him in an embrace. "Forget what I said to Fallon. Listen to what I'm telling you now . I want you , Mira."
"Why?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. The streets around us blurred—the laughter, the music, the lights—it all faded into the background. It was just him and me, standing in the middle of this city that suddenly felt too big, too cold. "Because the way you're saying it, it sounds like you want me around to babysit your daughter. Like you're making some clinical, logical decision instead of…instead of actually wanting me."
"Don't insult me," he retorted. "How the fuck dare you? I want you for you. Not because…and you're not babysitting Pari. You're her parent, just like I am."
I stepped away from him, feeling fragile. "I came here to…." I looked down at my dress.
"You look beautiful, darlin'. But then you always do." He reached for me again, but I shook my head, and he dropped his hand. "I care about you, Mira. I feel like we're a family. Don't you feel that way, too?"
I did, but after hearing what he said to Fallon, I wasn't sure of anything. "Are we?" I asked, my voice breaking under the strain of everything I was holding back. "Because it sounds like you're just trying to piece together something convenient. Not a relationship. Not something real."
His jaw tightened. He yanked me forcefully against him. I could feel him hard against my thighs. "That real enough for you, Mira? Because I can't fuckin' sleep at night, I want you so much. I jack off thinking about your lips around my cock. I jack off thinking about licking your pussy because I know it will taste sweet, like your mouth does, and it'll smell like sandalwood. I want you so much that, every night, it's a struggle to not just get into bed with you, and get inside you."
My breathing became ragged. I was tempted, every night, to seduce him. I wanted something for myself at the end of another long day, and I wished it could be him—just for a little while, a respite from all that had happened in my life—a good thing, like Pari.
He took a deep breath, his voice softer now, assuaging the hurt inside me. "Don't run away, darlin'."
Tears burned in my eyes once again. I looked away, trying to hide them, swallowing hard.
"I'm scared," I whispered, more to myself than to him.
"Mira—" he started, but I shook my head, cutting him off.
"No, Beau," I said, my voice breaking. "I'm really scared."
He smiled. "Me too, darlin'."
"Why are you scared?"
"That I'll fuck it up with you. That I'll lose you."
We looked into each other's eyes, and I felt him all the way into my soul.
The world around us kept spinning, people walking by, laughing, living their lives like everything was normal. But everything inside me felt like I was getting ready to combust.
"You came here for me?" he asked, his eyes liquid with arousal.
"Yes."
"Let me take you home," he crooned. "Let me take you to bed."
"Yes." I leaned into him, and decided to throw caution to the wind.