Chapter 41
Madison needed me, but wouldn’t see me. All my pacing in circles did nothing except make Jax dizzy. I nearly tripped myself in my haste when the door opened, but it was Jazz who came out, not Madison.
“She doesn’t want to see any of the pack right now,” Jazz explained. “She needs some time to settle.”
“But—”
“You don’t have to say anything to me. I know it would be better for her to talk to you guys, but we both know it can’t be forced.” She laid her palm on my chest when the door creaked open again. “Don’t say anything.”
The only thing stopping me from running to Madison was the tiny woman in front of me, but the dig of her nails kept me in place, letting my rational mind hold a leash on my instincts.
My omega was hurting and I wasn’t allowed to help. I wanted to tuck her away somewhere safe, to hold her in my arms, tell her how much I loved her, and how I would work to make her future so much brighter than her past.
I didn’t relate to her trauma, but I understood she carried something heavy. Much as I might want to hold that weight for her, I knew it was something she had to shed in her own time.
Jazz’s gaze was sympathetic. “We’re taking her to the OHI building so she can stay busy.
I’m telling you that in case she hides too long.
She does need some space, but I think too much would cause damage.
Don’t let the others race over when you tell them what’s up.
I don’t know her well yet, but I think all of you showing up immediately might break something in her.
She wants you there as much as she doesn’t, if that makes sense. ”
I nodded stiffly.
Madison’s pain was scorching coals in my chest. Tyler had triggered something in her I didn’t know how to fix.
That man had been kicking her over like a child with a block tower for a decade, and now he was spewing lies about her, giving himself what he had systematically denied her for their entire relationship.
Farrah ushered Madison away—the only one looking back apologetically wasn’t the one I wanted. Omega distress hung in the air. Burnt sugar made me nauseated and desperate to coax out her raspberry sweetness.
“Do you want to tell the pack, or do you want me to reach out to Jude?” Jazz asked.
“I guess both.” She knew more details than I did at this point.
“Go home.” Jax set a firm hand on my shoulder. “If you can’t go after your girl, you should at least be home with your pack. I can handle things here and I’ll call in one of the newbies to cover tonight. We’ll hire extras, too. Focus on your family for now.”
“Give us a few minutes to get out of here,” said Jazz. “I’ll call Jude when we get her set up.”
I watched her go, curling my hands into fists and sitting right down on the floor to stop myself from sprinting after them.
“Are you going to be all right to drive?” Jax asked, kneeling next to me.
I shrugged.
“I’ll drive you.”
I didn’t have it in me to protest. Once Jax decided it was okay for us to leave, I followed him out. Sinking into the passenger seat, I pulled out my phone and opened my last message with Madison.
Leo:
I love you
Whatever happens I don’t want you to doubt that
The message went unread in the time it took me to get back to the apartment.
Everyone was in the lobby waiting for me.
Alve’s eyes were red-rimmed, feeling everything I did without the benefit of knowing what was going on.
I fell straight into Nathan’s arms, his embrace an anchor.
He shushed softly in my ear and held me tightly.
I listened with half an ear as Jax explained to the others what had gone down.
When I lifted my head, Jax was gone. I pulled Alve into our hug, too, and then Jude. Madison should be right here with us, but instead, she was running.
Jude’s phone rang and he got on a call with his sister. We waited until he hung up before getting on the elevator, our beta explaining the situation to the others while we rode up.
“That explains the security alert I just got,” Alve said, staring at his phone. “I can see her on the camera.”
We all crowded around, watching our omega enter the building with Jazz and Farrah, standing with her eyes closed while she absolutely doused herself with the de-scenting spray she kept by the door to keep her scent off the products.
They disappeared briefly, and a few minutes later, Jazz and Farrah departed, Madison locking the door behind them.
Alve’s phone pinged, a notification sliding in then out of view. The sound he let out bordered on hysterical as tears slid down his cheeks.
“What is it?”
“My real estate agent.”
“You found us a pack house?” Jude asked.
“Potentially. She wants us to see it tomorrow.”
We spilled into the apartment and I went straight for a glass of water.
“Tell her we will,” Nathan announced. “We’re thinking positive. If bonds and a baby haven’t convinced Madison we’re serious about sticking around, then maybe a house will. Buy one, put it in her name, let her know she has a home no matter what.”
Jude nodded, offering a soft smile. “I guess we could use a little radical optimism.”
I sucked back every cool drop and refilled the glass again.
Nathan appeared at my side, pausing me halfway through the second glass.
“You’re going to make yourself sick by chugging like that.
We don’t need you hurling on top of all the other stress you’re going through. Come sit on my lap and take a breath.”
The urge to laugh won out. “We’re the same size. How am I supposed to sit on your lap?”
“There’s no rule about size.” Nathan crouched, wrapping his arms around my thighs and standing, effectively tossing me over his shoulder.
I squawked, balancing myself with my hands on his hips.
Alve and Jude stared at us with wide eyes.
Nathan dropped me down on the couch before parking himself next to me and patting his knees.
Ridiculous as it felt, I climbed aboard. He hooked his arms around my waist and I looped one over his shoulders, letting my cheek rest against his head. His purr rumbled away, working at unravelling my tension. It might’ve been possible without Madison’s anxiety flashing like a strobe in the bond.
Even though I felt silly, this felt nice, too. It was easy to understand why being held like this was so comforting to omegas.
Poppy and Pepper, sensing an opportunity for attention, climbed onto us, fighting for space on my lap, as if me being on Nathan’s meant there was double the space for them because it was two laps stacked.
“How long before we can go over?” Alve asked.
Jude stood, hands on his hips. “Depends, I guess? How long do we think it’ll take her to tire out? She can only panic so hard if she exhausts herself.”
“At least an hour,” Nathan speculated. “She’s probably going hard right now, and if she’s not pacing herself on physical labor, she’ll need a break soon. Maybe we message every half hour, see when she finally looks at one?”
Alve nodded, sinking down next to us, and motioned for Jude to do the same.
“Should we have an ambassador?” Nathan asked after a while of silence.
“Like we send one of us in instead of all going?” Jude tilted his head.
“Yeah.” Nathan shrugged. “We don’t want her overwhelmed, but we want her to know we’re here for her. We could all go, but maybe we should send one in to test the waters?”
“Are you volunteering yourself?” I asked, playing with the ends of his hair to give my twitchy hands something to do while Jude pet the cats.
“I was thinking Jude would be best,” Nathan said instead.
“Me?”
“Yes, you. You’ve known her forever and she’s loved you the longest. We know how I approach things, but Jax and Jazz made it sound pretty serious, so my style is probably not the best to hit her with first.”
Alve got to his feet, all of us looking at him. “I need to do something. If we can’t go to her, then I’m going to do some retail therapy.”
He didn’t seem like the type to fall back on that, but he certainly had the money, if that was how he wanted to deal with today’s stress.
Alve turned his phone to us. “This will fit, won’t it?”
He showed us the biggest cat tower I had ever seen in my life. It would probably take up the entirety of the wall and had about ten different platforms and hiding spots.
Nathan laughed. “When you said retail therapy, I thought you were shopping for yourself.”
“I buy things for other people when I’m stressed. So, do we think it will fit or not?”
With a sigh, I peeled myself off Nathan’s lap, carefully transferring the cats to him and Jude. Alve had the right idea. While Madison was keeping busy, there was no reason we couldn’t do the same.
We dug out a tape measure, comparing the width of the room to the measurements on the website, determining the enormous cat habitat would indeed fit.
“A store twenty minutes away has one in stock,” Alve said tentatively, glancing at each of us one by one.
“Sorry, Pepperoni.” Nathan lifted Pepper, kissing her forehead before setting her on the couch arm. “We’ve got to go buy you a mansion.”
The mission felt stabilizing. Madison was still a blaring siren of pain, but at least this way, I could offer her something in return that wasn’t a mirror of her own distress.
Our first message to her when we arrived at the store remained unread, as did the one when we got back home with a dozen different boxes. Despite being so intimately connected to Madison’s suffering, I was building resilience to it as surely as we were building this ridiculous cat tower.
Two hours in, we finished it, Poppy and Pepper supervising our work and testing out each platform we added.
Madison still hadn’t replied, but she felt steadier.
Whether that was because time had passed or because Alve and I had settled ourselves, I couldn’t be sure, but I was grateful for it either way.
We made dinner together and ate quietly, watching the cats appreciate our handiwork. By the time it was pushing midnight, we’d had enough. Madison hadn’t left the building, but she was still working. Each time she entered the lobby to refresh the spray, Alve got a notification.
“So, we’re all agreed on Jude going in first?” Nathan clarified on our way to the parking lot.
I nodded. Jude was the best choice. Alve and I could trigger her through the bond if we reacted the wrong way, and another panic attack wasn’t what she needed right now.
“All right.” Nathan opened both the front and back doors, holding them so we could climb inside. “Let’s go get our girl.”