34. Chapter 34
Iwas shaking from my need for her that was all too familiar and still brand new. I was burning up for this woman, physically and emotionally.
I was greedy for her and wanted to grab her with both hands, especially when I held her close, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. I could smell her release on my breath, and it made me want to let the animal out and hammer her into the tree, see if I could make her come again with my cock inside her. I wanted her to beg for me again, scream for me, moan for me, come for me.
”Gabriel,” I heard her low voice.
”Yes, baby.” I looked down at her face. I put a hand on her cheek. This beautiful woman had been mine and I”d fucked it up. I was a goddamn idiot!
”Come home with me.”
She was so hot for me that she”d let me do whatever I wanted. I knew that. Fuck me! Being a Southern gentleman was just not how I was feeling right now.
”Baby, I want to bury myself deep in that tight pussy of yours so badly, you have no idea. I”m hard for you, and no matter how often I use my hand thinking about you to find release, I”m aching for you twenty-four-seven.”
She smiled then, a sexy and sultry smile. ”I want you.”
”Aurora, I love you.”
She stiffened, and I continued to stroke her back. Arousal cleared her eyes, and I felt sadness engulf me. I”d destroyed something inside this wonderful and kind woman. She”d fought a childhood that had been difficult and lonely to become this strong and amazing person, and I”d crushed some of that spirit by being someone she couldn”t trust.
”When you can say that back to me, I promise we”ll make love.”
Her eyes filled with emotion. ”Then what was this.” She tried to push me away, and I didn”t let her.
”This was me losing control.”
She licked her lips, and I groaned.
”You”ve got to stop doing that.” I ground my hips against hers. ”Can you feel how desperate I am for you?”
She nodded.
I rested my forehead against her, panting. ”I want to make us…rebuild us.”
”I”m sorry for being so difficult,” she whispered.
”No, baby, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
”Don”t I? I don”t know if I”ll ever get past what happened.”
”Tell me how it made you feel,” I asked because I wanted to understand. I wanted her to tell me what was deep down inside her, the fear of being left behind, of being abandoned.
We heard laughing around us, and she buried her head in my chest. ”No one can see us here,” I whispered, nuzzling her ear. ”I promise. I”d never expose you like that.”
”Can we walk?” she asked.
We held hands again as we strolled around the park. There were a few teenagers hanging out, their presence being made known by the smell of weed wafting around us.
”My mother was…flighty. She moved around a lot. It was hard because I”d be in a school for a few months, and then she”d pull me out in the middle of the night and drag me to a new place. Usually, this was all centered around some guy who dumped her, or some guy she stole from, or some guy whose wife found out that he was cheating on her and came after Mama…you get the picture?”
I hated that she didn”t want to look at me when she spoke, that this was a story she wasn”t comfortable telling me. But she was talking to me, and I would take whatever I got.
”Yeah, I do.”
”I”d call my father and beg him to take me. He lived in Memphis. In the beginning he picked up the phone but after a while I didn”t even have his phone number or address, no way to contact him.”
I wanted to stop and hug her. There was such acceptance, such resignation in her voice for how she”d been treated.
Our steps were slow as we continued to walk. The wide-open spaces of the park offered a sense of freedom, while the encircling trees provided a sense of seclusion and intimacy.
She kicked a small pebble in front of her with the tip of her blue sandals.
”I was getting pretty desperate because now I was older and my mother”s men…well, you can imagine.”
I squeezed her hand. ”Tell me anyway,” I coaxed.
”Why?” She seemed baffled that I wanted to know.
”Let the fear out.”
She scoffed. ”Are you playing therapist, Gabriel?”
This wasn”t the sweet Aurora I knew, yet she was still present beneath the surface. Her defiance was merely a facade, a survival tactic to shield her vulnerabilities and appear stronger than her haunting memories.
”No, just your lover and friend.”
She stopped walking and yanked her hand away from me. ”Damn it, Gabriel. Do you have to be so nice?”
”Hell, Aurora, I”ve been a complete asshole to you, so I”m hardly nice.” I held my hand out again, and she slipped hers back in if a little begrudgingly.
”You are nice. Don”t get me wrong, you also have a mean streak. I”ve heard about it. Angry Rhodes, isn”t that the nickname?”
”Yeah.”
Around us, the park was alive with the subtle movements of nature—the occasional night bird calling out, the breeze whispering through the branches of ancient oaks, and the distant sound of other late-night wanderers enjoying the peace of the park. The air was fresh, carrying the scent of blooming flowers.
”Some of my mother”s boyfriends started to…make advances,” she continued as we walked. ”I hid. I locked myself in the closet. I mean, things get complicated when you”re in a one-bedroom motel room, and your mother wants to….”
I didn”t know how to comfort her. After Luna had come to my office, I”d pieced her history together from things she”d told me and my own extrapolation. I wasn”t surprised, but I was still horrified.
”I did some research and found my father”s contact information on LinkedIn. He was working for FedEx in Memphis. I called him, and he talked to me.” She was silent for a long moment, and I didn”t push her. I felt like she hadn”t told anyone about this. Luna knew, but not in this kind of detail.
”What did your father say?” I asked gently.
”He had a family, and I was on my own, and I shouldn”t call him again.”
Fuck!
”So, when I see how you love your daughter and are there for her, I just can”t hold it against you, and I never will.”
”I know.” She had the biggest fucking heart. Sophia had been mean and cruel to her, and yet, she was ready to forgive and forget everything my daughter did to her.
”Finally, I had two choices, the system or find a relative. I managed to convince Mama to come to Savannah. I met my aunt and told her I”d keep her house, I”d sleep on the couch, I”d take care of her, cook and clean everything. She agreed to let me stay as long as I paid her rent.”
”How old were you?”
”Thirteen.”
I wanted to howl. I”d grown up on a fucking estate and inherited my fortune. She had been thirteen and had to pay rent? But my getting angry and throwing a fit wasn”t going to help her, so I just listened and felt my heart break for the kid she”d been. How different her life had been at the age of thirteen versus Sophia”s.
”How did you pay rent?”
”I got a newspaper route, and I mowed lawns. I cleaned houses and offices. I bagged groceries. I worked in a diner. I cleaned bathrooms in a gym. I did anything and everything I could, that they”d let me do.”
”That must”ve been hard.”
”It was, but I didn”t notice. I was just happy to go to the same school every day, not worry about who was going to stick their hands up my….” Her breathing was rough now, and I knew she was remembering.
Had she been sexually assaulted? My heart clenched.
”Then my aunt died, but I was already eighteen. I figured my life out.”
”You did more than that.” I stopped her so I could let her see how I felt under the light of a streetlamp. ”You”re a force to be reckoned with, Aurora Turner. You are amazing, and I”m so f?cking fortunate that you”re here with me. I”m so fucking proud of you and all that you”ve achieved.”
She swallowed. ”You mean that?”
”Mean what?”
”That you”re proud of me?”
Her voice was small like she was begging for a scrap of affirmation.
”Yes. So, so much. Everyone who works with you thinks you”re awesome. Can”t you see, baby? You overcame hell to become an amazing person. A warm and loving woman when you could”ve become bitter and cold. I”m not just proud of you, I”m in awe.”
How had I not seen this? Known this? She needed validation. She needed someone to see her. Isn”t that what she”d told me? All I needed to do was be with her, spend time with her, and not buy her jewelry or gifts.
”I see you, Aurora,” I whispered and brushed my lips against hers. ”I see you, and I love you.”