10. Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Noah
" I s Stella okay?" I asked Nina.
She glanced at the closed door and shook her head. "It broke her, having to give it all up. Selling her house, the partnership. She didn't think her father would betray her like this."
Oh, I don't think it was her father, darlin'. It was me. I betrayed her.
"She has friends, wealthy friends like Luna Steele. How come no one helped her?" I ground out.
Nina sighed. "She didn't want to be indebted to anyone ever again. I have a feeling she's going to quit. I just gave her a big project, and she just sat there like a stone; no excitement. It breaks my heart, Noah."
I swallowed. You'd have to be blind to miss the change in Stella. She'd gone from having all the brightness of a sunflower to a dried-up, washed-out flower on the garden pavers, crushed, trampled on, forgotten.
"What project?"
Nina told me about the botanical garden, and my blood ran cold. Silas was Eden's brother. Eden had not appreciated the scene she'd witnessed outside the mayor's house, when I was trying to talk to Stella.
"I didn't know you knew Stella Hunt," she remarked as we sat down for dinner.
"She works at Savannah Lace."
"Hon, it looked like more than business." She put a hand on my cheek. "Are you cheating on me, Noah?"
I laughed. "Eden, you know we're not together, don't you?"
"That's not what I asked."
"What is it that you asked?" I demanded.
"We've been having sex for over a year now and—"
"I'm not dating you," I cut in. "There is no us."
"So, you are fucking her?" Her eyes narrowed. "Her? Baron Hunt's sad little pathetic daughter. The one who is waiting for Daddy to find her a husband. The one who lost her house and her business because she has no money. I hear that she's on the outs with the Hunt family. My mother is good friends with Whit Hunt. Stella has no influence with Senator Hunt, if that's your interest in her."
"She works at Savannah Lace," I repeated, almost losing my patience.
"I have influence, Noah. I can help you succeed in Georgia and the south."
"Do I look like I need your help, darlin'?"
"Be careful, Noah. I'm in love with you, so I’ll indulge your little independent streak, but don't cross me."
"And what happens if I do?"
She smiled. "I will ruin your life."
"You're batshit crazy, Eden," I declared, shocked at her statement.
But I didn't think she heard me. Eden was a spoiled, trust fund baby, who always got what she wanted. Now, she wanted me. Like hell!
"You know Eden well," Nina continued, leaning back with a smile. "I hear that you're planning to propose. I didn't know you were that serious about her."
I shook my head. "I'm not. And I'm not going to propose. She's being aggressive."
"Is she?" Nina grinned. "Not the first time a woman went aggressively after Noah Carter."
"I don’t want Eden. I'm trying to avoid her, and I haven't slept with her since I first came to Savannah. She needs to get over it, and find a new boy toy."
"Silas asked specifically for Stella," Nina continued. "That's a good thing. I'm hoping this project will help elevate her and bring her out of her depression."
"She's depressed?"
Like that was news.
I hated what I'd done to her. I hadn't thought that she'd break. No, that was a lie. I did know she'd break. I knew that because, in the three months we dated, I'd gotten to understand her. Stella was kind-hearted through and through. How could I have let this get away from me like this?
Royal was right. What the fuck had happened to me? This sweet woman had been my companion for months, had laughed with me, made me laugh, she'd even made me happy. Most of the time, I forgot why we were together. I just enjoyed her company, her adoration, the way she responded to me, the way I responded to her. But I'd always known that the first time we had sex would be the last.
Well, Noah, you got what you wanted. You humbled Baron Hunt.
And you destroyed an innocent woman, like Baron did Neveah.
"You know she's single." Nina tapped her fingers on the desk. "Maybe you should ask her out."
My throat went dry. Yeah, like Stella would agree to that.
"I'm not interested in Stella Hunt, Nina," I lied softly.
"Baby, I look at you, and I want you." I stroked her cheek as she was on her knees in front of me, unbuckling my pants.
"I've not given too many of these, so don’t expect some amazing oral skills," she said playfully.
I ran my fingers through her hair. "You don't like going down on a man, darlin'?"
She pulled me out, and I hissed.
"I've never been turned on enough to want to, but I do when it's expected."
"And now?"
She licked the tip, and I sucked in my breath. "I'm very turned on, Noah. And I think I'll die if I can't taste you."
My blood went south at that memory. She was still inside me, still in my blood. Months later, and I still didn't want another woman. I thought about that night, time and again, pretending my right hand was her wet mouth, her tight and warm cunt.
Christ! The one woman I couldn’t have, was the one making my cock hard. The universe had a shitty sense of humor; or maybe this was karma . I was reaping what I sowed.
"She isn't exactly your type," Nina chuckled. "You're both so different."
I quirked an eyebrow. "In what way?"
Nina smiled, her gray eyes amused. "She's a sweetheart and you're more into women like Eden." She raised a hand to stop me from interrupting her. "Not Eden specifically, but women like her. Experienced. Who know the score! Stella is careful. She grew up in a home where her father ignored her, her stepmother abused her. She didn't have anyone. She doesn't allow people in."
"Abused?" My chest tightened. She never mentioned any of that to me.
Nina's eyes went dark. "She told me once, a long time ago. Alcohol was involved or I doubt I would've gotten anything out her. Whitney used to beat her, starve her, and get her into trouble with Baron. JR followed suit as soon as he was old enough. Made her life hell. I think Gage was a welcome relief. She helped all but raise him, even though she was just ten when he was born. Still, Gage is weak; he never protected her."
Beat her? Starve her? She had been unloved. Lonely. And those feelings were probably magnified right now, after what I did.
Neveah had a support system. She had me, my father, Royal, and my grandparents, who had now passed. We'd been there with her, and even then, she had been inconsolable, depressed, not wanting to live. Who was there for Stella?
"Is she getting help? Any risk she might do something…." I didn't know how to ask if Stella was going to attempt suicide like Neveah had. Nina knew about that; not why though. We never let anyone know. Once we had the videos, after my father stepped down from the race, all evidence had been destroyed, and the man who had seduced Neveah encouraged me to move out of state.
"No and not because of something like losing part of a business. She's upset, yes, but she's stronger than that." Nina waved it off.
I'd bet the Savannah bridge project that her depression was not because she lost her partnership or her home, it was because the man who'd seduced her into falling in love with him had viciously used her.
"Let’s talk about work, shall we?" Nina handed me some papers. "I want to walk through upcoming projects and see if Carter Construction can support them."
While Nina and I discussed project plans and resources, my mind stayed with Sweet Stella.
How could I make sure she wouldn't break any more than she already had? I had to admit that I was rattled, seeing her. The smile that used to light up her face had vanished. She looked like she was in mourning.
The circles under her eyes were so dark that her face looked bruised. She wore no makeup at all. Her lips were chapped, dry. Her skin was pale. Her shoulders were hunched like she couldn't carry the weight of the world any longer.
The dress she wore hung on her body. She'd lost weight that she didn't need to lose. Easily fifteen to twenty pounds, was my guess. Her collarbones were more pronounced. Her cheekbones, which were always sharp, could now cut glass. Her lush hair was in an untidy, lifeless bun, with a pencil sticking through it to hold it up.
The vital and happy woman I'd known was now this dried up version of herself. I had done this.
When I looked at Neveah, as she was now, I saw a healthy and lively woman. She had grown and matured, become stronger. Stella reminded me of the caricature Neveah had been in those days, right after my father stepped down from the race.
The blow to Stella was much worse. She had been in love with me. I felt it. Neveah had had a dalliance, but she hadn't been in love with the guy she had sex with. Neveah had not lost her home and life, but Stella had.
There was no making up for what I had done to Stella. There was absolutely no way to reverse what had happened. I couldn’t undo any of it. The only decent thing to do was to leave her alone and let her figure her way out of this. I couldn't help her, even if I wanted to. And I didn’t want to, did I? I bought her partnership and her house, and further ruined her relationship with her father. All this was done to make Baron Hunt suffer. The rightness of it had always been something I believed, no matter what Royal said. But Baron Hunt was fine . Untouched. All he had to do was introduce me to Savannah society and give me a project I deserved to have in the first place. Stella, my little pawn, was the one who was paying the price.
I felt shame course through me as it always did when I thought about Stella. I didn't talk to anyone about it—who could I? Royal was still pissed with me and had told me that he'd have to walk away from our friendship if he didn't forgive me for what I had done. He loved Neveah as I did, and had wanted to hurt Baron Hunt, but not by using an innocent woman in the scheme.
I walked out of Nina's office and deliberately went past Stella's. Her door was open. She was standing at her desk. Her feet were bare. This was how she worked, I realized. She was peering at her screen, moving things around with her mouse. Her eyes were blank. No joy, no excitement or disgust about the work she was doing, no animation of any kind. Her body looked frail. Her skin too thin.
Luna noticed me and approached.
"Hey, did Nina tell you about the hospital project we are in play for?" she asked.
"Yeah." I tucked my hands in the pockets of my suit pants, aware now that Stella had heard us because we were all but standing in front of the open door of her office.
"I'm so excited about it. Hospitals are so specialized with all the regulations, but I hear you have an expert on your team."
"We do." I didn't want to talk about work with Luna. I wanted to watch Stella. As tired as she was, she still looked so fucking beautiful.
"You're a gorgeous woman. Smart and sexy. How come you've never had a long-term relationship?" I asked in the early days, when we went to a coffee shop at the river walk after a run. I'd joined her when she told me she ran every morning. I was in full seduction mode, and this was another opportunity to get her to fall for me and into my bed.
She drank her coffee. "I've never been in love."
"Come on, you can't be that na?ve. Love is not a requirement for a long-term relationship. Lots of people I know are married for years without being in love," I retorted.
She looked good in a tight tank top and running shorts. She had the healthy shine of a woman who worked out and knew how to take care of her body. Sweaty she may be, but she was alive and stunning .
"For me, love is a prerequisite. I'd rather be alone than lonely. I'd rather be single than in a loveless relationship."
"Good sex makes up for a lot," I teased.
She laughed. "I've had my share of sex, Noah. I'm not promiscuous, but I'm no blushing violet. And what I believe is that good sex needs love."
"How many men have you had, Stella?" I didn't like thinking about another man inside her.
"A few," she prevaricated, and then sighed. "Four. The first was my high school sweetheart. That was a big mistake. He's married to the sweetest woman now and has four kids."
"Is he a friend?"
She shrugged. "I don't have many of those, but he's definitely an acquaintance."
"What about the other three men you had sex with?"
She made a face. "The second was an even bigger mistake. Daddy picked him out for me. I wanted to make Daddy happy. He was a criminal lawyer known to deliver pithy opening and closing statements. He was also known for getting his rich clients off. Unfortunately, he didn't quite know how to get me off. That's when I bought a vibrator. The third was a one-night stand when I was in Paris on vacation. He was nice. Very French. We had croissants and café in the morning." She laughed at the memory, and it gutted me. I had no reason to be jealous or feel possessive. I was not a misogynistic asshole. She slept with four men; I probably had twenty times as many notches on my bedpost.
"And the fourth?" I persisted.
Her eyes shuttered. "That was another Daddy recommendation. He was…it was not good."
I put my hand on hers. "What did he do?"
She smiled wistfully. "He hurt me. Daddy was pretty upset when I broke up with him after just four weeks. Apparently, according to him, we were a match made in heaven. Daddy didn't talk to me for nearly six months after that."
"How did he hurt you?" A red haze descended over my eyes, my stomach hollowed out.
"Doesn't matter." She drank some coffee. "There is a music festival next weekend. Are you into Blues, ‘cause—"
"Who was it?" I cut in.
She chuckled. "Bygones, Noah. Now, I'm sure you've had more ladies than I've had gentlemen. Tell me the kinkiest place you've ever had sex."
I had let her change the subject, but what she told me was like acid in my gut. Someone had hurt her.
Obviously, I got over that feeling and became just another man who hurt her. Shame was too small a word for what I was feeling.