Chapter 14
JULIA
J ulia climbed the stairs, leaving Grant behind. Her nerves were at their breaking point. Exhaustion coursed through her.
Between her lack of sleep and the emotionally charged encounters since they’d stepped foot in Harbor Cove.
They’d had a relatively easy conversation on the short drive home. She had been thankful for that as she didn’t have the energy to make more small talk with Grant. Why had he shown up at the restaurant?
But more importantly, what would have happened if he hadn’t?
Her mind whirled as she shut herself in her room and collapsed against the door. With a long, slow breath out, she tried to hold her emotions in check. But they threatened to spiral out of control. Her mixed-up mind couldn’t piece together where she belonged.
She felt like she had one foot in each camp. Part of her belonged here with her sister and Luke. Another part of her felt at home in her new life.
But her sister’s words stuck in her head. You’re only going to be with them for another eight months.
She wrapped her arms around herself, the weight of her decisions feeling heavier than ever.
A tear escaped to her cheek, the hot liquid rolling to her chin where it clung for a moment before dropping.
She slid down the door, collapsing against it as the floodgates opened. Tears flowed freely as her mind tried to make sense of her feelings. They streaked down her cheeks, each one a silent testament to the war raging in her heart.
She gasped in a few breaths, trying to stop the flood that poured from her, but she wasn’t able to. So many things felt unfinished. So many things needed to be said. But she wasn’t certain she could bring herself to say any of them.
Which man truly held the key to her heart? And her happiness?
She wasn’t certain she could answer that question. She’d walked away from a man who loved her, and fallen for a man who couldn’t possibly.
Her fingers traced the warmth of the rings around her finger. The memory of their wedding flashed across her mind. The moments they’d shared since then, once a sign of their common goals and the growth of their relationship beyond their contract, now felt bittersweet.
Her gaze drifted to the window, where the bright moon cast long shadows. She remembered Luke’s comforting embrace under that same moon years ago, a stark contrast to the chaos that shadowed her current life.
Memories of moonlit sails with Luke clashed against the backdrop of her life with Grant, each a different world vying for dominance in her heart.
She climbed to her feet, pacing the room, each step a battle between the life she knew she should leave behind and the uncertain future she was stepping into. Her fingers curled in and out of fists, her nails digging into her palm.
She caught sight of herself as she stalked past the mirror. She searched her eyes, trying to find the answers in them. Who was she really? The woman who left everything behind that she shouldn’t have or the one who found unexpected comfort in a world she never imagined?
Her fingers reached for the necklace around her neck. She wondered if Grant was still downstairs.
Her brow furrowed as she wondered if a conversation would help. In her emotional state, she couldn’t imagine it would. What would she say? Would she sob to him that she’d become attached to them?
She frowned as she imagined his response. “Julia, we have a job to do, and when it’s done…”
She heaved a sigh. Why had she let this happen?
As she vetted through her options, her cell phone chimed.
She sniffled as she pulled the phone from the pocket of her purse. A message floated on her screen, but her vision was too blurred by tears to read it. She blinked them away and focused on the screen. Still having trouble sleeping?
She smiled down at the message from Luke. He knew her so well. She typed a message back. Yep.
She tossed the phone onto the bed as she crossed to the en-suite bathroom and grabbed a wad of tissues, pressing them against her cheeks before she wiped at her nose. Her phone chimed again. She splashed cold water on her face before she shuffled back into the bedroom and grabbed the device.
A message waited from Luke. Up for a midnight sail? It always helped before.
The message tugged at her heart as memories of moonlit sails floated through her mind. Before she could stop herself, she’d typed an affirmative message back. She shoved the phone into her pocket, though she wouldn’t need it at sea.
After another blow of her nose, she slipped out of her room and padded down the stairs. She glanced into the living room, finding it empty. Grant wasn’t even there if she wanted to have a conversation.
She flicked her gaze to the kitchen before she shook her head. She’d be back before anyone was awake. No need to leave a note.
Instead, she slipped into the cool night air, choosing to walk to the docks rather than drive. The streets would be quiet at this time of night, and the physical activity may do her good.
She wrapped her arms around herself as her feet slapped against the pavement. The scent of Balsam hung heavy in the air as she veered off on the shortcut, bypassing a large corner.
As she approached the dock, the harbor bell clanged in the distance, sounding almost haunting. She shivered as an owl hooted in the distance.
As Luke’s form, preparing the sailboat, came into view, she froze. Maybe she should turn back.
He twisted, a grin spreading across his features in the moonlight as he caught sight of her.
No turning back now. She offered him a fleeting smile before she closed the distance between them. Her heart fluttered with a mix of excitement and apprehension, each step toward the sailboat a step into a past she thought she had left behind.
He held his hand out to her as he rocked on the boat. She stared at his extended hand. She’d done this so often before. It seemed so easy, so normal.
Her eyes slid closed for a moment as she slid her hand into his, savoring the warmth of his skin against hers.
She stepped aboard the Gentle Julia , familiarness surrounding her. The polished wood of the deck, the coolness of the railing, the rustle of the waiting sail, all of it wrapped her in a sense of nostalgia and comfort.
The gentle lap of the waves lulled her to a simpler time.
Luke’s hand pulled away from her, bringing her back to the present.
“Let me help,” she said with a smile, falling into line easily with him as they readied to sail. Minutes later, the boat slipped away from the dock.
“You haven’t forgotten a thing,” Luke said as she tied off a billowing sail.
She smiled up at him, standing and dusting off her hands. “It hasn’t been that long.”
“Speak for yourself, Juju,” he said as he twisted the ship’s wheel. “It’s been long enough for me.”
She pressed her lips together as the salty breeze caressed her skin.
“I guess it hasn’t been for you. Living the dream with the billionaire.”
“Luke, that’s not…” She shook her head as she shifted her gaze to the horizon.
“Not what?” he asked. “Ally said she dug up quite the list of events since you’ve been away.”
“She did,” Julia said. “It’s been…a complicated sixteen months.”
“Sounded like it from what Ally told me,” he said. “But let’s forget that. Do you remember when we used to sail into the north cove and picnic there?”
A smile spread across her face as she nodded, happy to leave the conversation about Grant behind. “I do, yes. We’re not sailing there now, right?”
“No, of course not. I remember how much you love being on the open sea at night. That sense of weightlessness it gives you with the real world completely gone. Nothing but the wind, the water, and the stars.”
It had been too long since she’d had nothing to deal with but the wind, water, and stars. She twisted to study the horizon, letting the wind rustle her hair.
The water rocked them gently as they disappeared into the vast ocean, leaving the town behind. The lights disappeared on the horizon as the sea spread around them.
Julia clung to the railing as she stared out over the moonlit waves. The sounds and smell of the sea wrapped her in a comforting blanket. She closed her eyes, allowing it to take over her senses as she felt her muscles relaxing.
Warm hands slid around her shoulders, squeezing them before arms encircled her waist.
She leaned back into his chest, the familiarity of his embrace soothing her frayed nerves.
“I’ve missed this,” he whispered, his voice tickling her ear.
She let her eyes slide closed again, her hand finding his arm as the warmth of his cheek pressed against hers. The scent of the sea mixed with his aftershave, creating a familiar and intoxicating blend that sent her heart flying back several years.
The boat swayed under her feet, and she reached for the railing to steady herself, her ring clanking off the metal.
The sound tugged her back to reality. Sudden memories of the swishing of ball gowns mixed with the gentle waves.
Luke’s arms around her weaved together with memories of Grant’s embrace.
Her heart ached with memories, each wave bringing back a moment she’d shared with Luke, contrasting sharply with the life she had built with Grant.
Her heart tumbled as she shoved him away and stumbled a few steps away.
“Julia?” he questioned. “What’s wrong?”
She kept her back to him, desperate to control her emotions.
His hand wrapped around hers, gently tugging her back to him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Her eyes filled with tears as she flicked her gaze up to him. “Luke–”
“Hey,” he said, features melting with concern as he caressed her cheek, “this was supposed to be a nice, comforting cruise. Not something to make you cry.”
She bit her lower lip, leaning into his hand as she closed her eyes.
He pulled her closer, wrapping her tightly in his arms. She melted into him, unable to stop herself from taking comfort in the one familiar, certain thing she knew.
“Julia…”