Chapter 30
30
COLE
I wake up, and Jayden is slumped over next to us with a laptop on his lap.
I shake my head. He never turns off. I don’t think he’s turned off since Jo came into our lives. Honestly, I thought he would completely self-destruct until Jo.
I roll out of bed and gently pull the computer away from Jayden.
He needs to rest. He wouldn’t rest even if I locked him in a room with a bed. He might sleep, but he won’t rest. At least, not until after he makes his fists bloody from pounding on the door.
Jayden’s eyes flutter open.
“Go back to sleep,” I demand.
“What time is it?” Jayden blinks and sits up, his eyes red.
“Seven.”
Jo moans and pulls the blankets up over her head. It makes me smirk. She’s so cute when she’s grumpy.
“I’ll get breakfast. Stay in bed.”
“I’m getting up.” Jayden throws the blankets off.
I shake my head. I can’t help him if he doesn’t want to help himself.
I move to the kitchen. I’m grateful that it’s quiet and everyone seems to be asleep. I don’t want to see my mom. Fuck, I’m not sure I should even call her that. It’s not like she ever did anything motherly for me, not like what she’s doing for Sam.
My chest hurts.
I need to stop being stupid. Marian stopped being my mom years ago, probably right after she pushed me out. It’s been three decades. I should be over it by now.
I get to work making a bunch of eggs. I don’t know how to make them well, but I know Jo is tired of living off snacks and fast food.
I wonder when Ralph is coming back and what angle to take with him. I try to remember anything I can about him, but he’s just a blurry memory from when I was a kid. I caught him staring at me a lot, but he never touched me or said anything to me—not like Pat.
That familiar, sick feeling rolls through me again, and my desire to protect Jo only increases.
But Sam… I don’t know if he’s doing anything, but the whole thing is odd. And that’s not just because I’m jealous. Right?
I find some spices in the cabinet, smirking when I find onion powder, and throw some random seasonings into the eggs. By the time I’m finishing up, people are starting to move around.
I carry the food back to the room, and Jo is still in bed. I flop down next to her, trying not to spill the eggs.
“Wakey, wakey!”
Jo groans.
I chuckle, and some of the anxiety goes away. “I made you something.”
Jo cracks a pretty blue eye open. “What is it?”
“Eggs.” I hover the plate in front of her. “Scrambled.”
She sits up and looks more awake. “I love scrambled eggs.”
“But first,” I whip out the onion powder.
Jo’s eyes get big. “What?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t fuck you with it. This time.” I wink at her. “Unless you want to hit me over the head with it.”
“Give me that.” Jo grabs for the plate.
I produce a fork with a flourish.
Jo takes it from me with a small smile. I watch her attentively as she takes a bite. There’s a weird moment where I actually feel…afraid. Which is weird. I never feel afraid. But I want her to like it.
For a second, Jo freezes. There’s a flash of…something in her eyes. “What’s in this?”
“Special ingredient.” I have no idea. Whatever was in the cabinet, I put in the eggs. “Is it bad?”
“It’s great.” Jo chuckles and gives me a smile.
I relax.
Jayden walks past the bed, a floral scent wafting by in his wake. Jo wrinkles her nose. “Are you wearing perfume?”
Come to think of it, I smelled it when I woke up, too.
“Shut up,” Jayden mumbles as he stalks out of the room.
“Grumpy bastard.” I swipe the fork from Jo and take a bite. As soon as I do, I nearly choke. I spit my bite out on the plate. The eggs taste bitter and herbal. They’re absolutely nasty.
Jo’s trying to choke back a laugh, her face growing red.
“What the fuck?” I cough.
“Special ingredient?”
“Fuck off,” I snatch the plate away, slightly hurt and embarrassed.
“Hey, I liked it.” Jo puts her hand on my arm.
I pull away from her, cheeks burning.
“No, I mean it.” Jo scoots forward on the bed and grabs my jaw, pulling my face toward her. “You made it for me. That means everything.”
I meet her gaze, ready to laugh it off, but she looks sincere. Slowly, I drop my shoulders. “If only I knew a fucking chef.”
Jo’s eyes twinkle.
I narrow my eyes at her. “If you’re laughing at me, you’re going to get punished.”
Jo’s eyes shine, and her mouth is tight.
The blood rushes to my dick. Oh, this hoe wants to get spanked. A slow grin moves across my face.
I move over her, making her fall back on her elbows. I drop my head to the space between her breasts and suck in a breath. “You want me to choke you and make you cry? Make your pretty little face red as you gasp for air?”
Jo’s pupils dilate.
The bathroom door slams. Jo jumps slightly, and I glance over my shoulder to see Jayden stalk out of the room.
Jo clears her throat and starts to sit up.
“No you don’t.” I grab Jo by the throat and squeeze. Her eyes dart to mine, but she already looks more guarded.
Part of me wants to punch Jayden, and part of me wants to get Jo back to the spot she was in before. When she was happy.
Jo wiggles to sit up.
“Fuck no.” I hold her down, ripping the blankets off her, and yank up Jayden’s shirt.
“Cole,” Jo gasps, but her pussy is already glistening for me. I dive in, eating her out, trying desperately to make her forget. Trying to make her happy again. I need her to be happy again. Jo’s happiness is like crack, and I need it more than I need my next breath.
Jo comes three times before I let her up. She heaves for breath, eyes watery and cheeks flushed.
I grin at her.
She laughs weakly and sits up. “Damn.”
I smirk. “Should you fight me when I tell you to do something?”
She smiles sweetly. “Absolutely.”
I laugh. Fucking hell, I’m crazy about this fucking woman. I grab her chin and yank her to me, placing a harsh kiss on her lips.
When I finally let her up for air, Jo smooths her hair down and glances at the door. “So…is he going to be like this forever?”
I sigh and flop down next to her. I don’t want to talk about Jayden. I don’t know what his deal is.
Jo starts to pull her panties up until I shoot her a warning look. Slowly, she stops. Her obedience makes my dick even harder than it already was. I debate what I should tell her. It’s not my life, but I’m afraid she'll never trust him if she doesn’t know some of it.
I run my hand through my hair. “Jayden…has a hard time with trust. Always has, since Pat.”
She’s silent.
I pull in a breath.
“So you’re saying he doesn’t trust me.”
“What?” I glance over at her. “I mean, not fully. He doesn’t trust anyone fully. I’m sure he thinks you’ll try to run again.” I eye her.
Jo eyes me right back. “If I said I wouldn’t, would you believe me?”
I chuckle. “No.”
She grins. We’re silent for a bit. Then, she asks bitterly, “What did I do to make him hate me?”
My chest clenches. She thinks he doesn’t like her? After he chased her to the ends of the country, poured every bit of energy into finding her, and centered his whole routine around her?
I swallow. But she doesn’t know how careless he was with Sage. How little he cared for anyone until she came around.
“Jayden is stuck in his nightmares.” I reach out to touch Jo’s waist, tracing my hand along the soft skin, thinking about what to say. “He relives them constantly. It’s not that he doesn’t like you. It’s just…his brain doesn’t have room for anything except survival.”
Jo doesn’t say anything for a long time. When I look up at her, her eyes are guarded. “Will he ever?”
“Ever what, lemon drop?”
“Have room for something other than survival?”
I swallow. I’d wondered the same thing until he met her. I thought, for a bit, that there was some hope. But now, with the way he’s been acting, I’m worried.
But I won’t tell her that. Instead, I say, “I think he will, with some help. But he won’t accept it from me.”
There’s silence.
“Could it be ‘cause you’re a dick?” Jo looks up at me with innocent eyes.
I laugh and slam a pillow into her. She’s such a fucking brat. And I love her for it.
I’m not a dick.
Well, maybe I am. But my brat loves it, and therefore, I won’t be changing, ever.