Chapter 31
31
JAYDEN
After Cole gives Jo the eggs, I stride out of the room. I’m hungry, and I refuse to eat the food Cole made for Jo. She needs it. All she’s been eating on this trip has been snacks. Plus, their show of affection makes me feel sick.
As I’m in the hallway about to enter the kitchen, I hear a male voice bark, “Sam!”
I spot Ralph in the kitchen. He slams the refrigerator door shut. Ralph is about my height, with slicked-back gray hair and a toned body despite his age. He looks good, which is why he still makes money schmoozing lonely housewives for their money.
“How many times do I have to tell you?” Ralph yells. “We aren’t refrigerating the damn house.”
Something cold skitters down my spine. The sounds of a shooter video game explode in the background.
“Maybe that damn game is too distracting,” Ralph tosses something on the kitchen island.
All my muscles lock up, and a nauseating feeling rolls over me. The voice in my head screams at me to run, fight—to get away.
But I can’t. I stand there, frozen, staring.
The sound of the game gets louder, the sounds of gunfire ringing in my ears.
Move, Jayden.
But it’s like my body is stuck in cement, my mind wanting to run anywhere but here. Just like I was.
Just like I’ve been my whole life.
I shake my head violently. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me?
Weak. Fucking weak! Hatred settles in my heart. It grips its claws into me and takes over my vision.
I am not weak.
I stalk into the kitchen, rage flowing through my blood. Ralph is at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. He glances up.
“Hey, Ralph,” my voice is harsh. Harsher than I mean it to be, but I can’t help it. My blood is on fire. I need to keep things cool to work this situation correctly, but I can’t get my body to relax.
Ralph freezes for a half second at the look on my face, then collects himself. “Oh hey, Jayden. Marian said you guys got in last night.”
I pull out the chair next to him, leaning back and putting my hands behind my head to keep them from shaking. Anger heats my skin.
“You guys have a good trip?” Ralph takes another bite, using that fake soft voice preachers do, and I hate it. There’s nothing soft about this snake.
“She tell you why we were here?” I let my eyelids drift halfway shut, but all I can see is jamming that spoon up his nose and scraping his brain out from the inside.
Jesus Jayden. Get control, or you’ll ruin this whole thing.
Ralph tries to act relaxed, but he’s stopped eating and keeps glancing at my waistband, checking for weapons. That sends a thrill through me.
So he is scared. Cute.
“Yeah,” Ralph says, “said you needed a little cash.”
A little? I flick him a look.
Ralph glances at the living room where Sam is playing his game. “I might be able to help you guys out. The Lord has been good to us.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Does the Lord approve of your porn history there, Ralphy boy?”
Ralph goes utterly still. He doesn’t even flicker an eyelash; he just stares at me with dark eyes. Then, something snaps, and he lets out a laugh. “You got me for a second, Jay.” He shakes his head, continuing to laugh.
I remain deadpan. I attempted to find his porn history last night. The entire computer was squeaky clean. Which was odd. I know he’s up to something. It’s gotta be on his phone.
“Still got the jokes, I see.” Ralph continues to laugh.
I stare at him. I’ve never joked a day in my life. Ralph is nervous and trying to play it cool.
Ralph pats his knee. “I can’t believe it’s been so many years since I’ve seen you! You must have been in high school.”
Weak. He knew me when I was weak.
I don’t respond. I want to see what his forehead would look like turned inside out. Would his skull rip cleanly from his brain, or would there be bits still attached?
I lean over, hands shaking. Instead of doing what I want to, I grab Ralph’s bowl of cereal and drag it over to me. Making eye contact with Ralph, I grab the spoon and take a bite. I can’t taste it; my mouth is moving on autopilot.
Ralph watches me.
“Hmm, soggy.” I stand. “Let’s talk about this somewhere more private, shall we?”
I don’t think I can hold back any longer.
Instead of moving, Ralph leans back in his chair. “Sorry to hear about your dad.”
Heat instantly races under my skin. I hate people calling him my dad. He was no dad to me. Smooth anger takes over, and focus slides into place. “Yeah, it’s a shame. Anything could have happened to him.” I arch a brow, looking at Ralph. He’s been watching me closely.
I know he knows. He’s not stupid. He knows the cops are after me.
Ralph shakes his head. “It’s a shame you guys have been so distant. We didn’t want to keep Sam a secret, but Cole cut Marian out, and we didn’t have the right time to tell him.”
I narrow my eyes. “We tried calling.”
“Did you? Speaking of, why don’t you get Cole? I’d like to see him again after so long.” Ralph’s pupils widen.
At the sight, red-hot fury runs through me. Almost like I’m watching from outside my body, I see my fist fly through the air and punch Ralph in the face. There’s a satisfying snap, and Ralph crashes out of his chair, clutching his face.
Vigor fills me. I follow Ralph down, my whole body craving more. Needing more.
“Get up, Ralphy boy. Fight like a man.”
Ralph groans. I stand over him, trembling. I want him to take his hands off his face and fight me. Fucking hell, maybe he’ll land a punch and make it fun.
Ralph backs away, still covering his face. “What…the hell?”
Oh, don’t run. I need more.
When Ralph puts his hands down to get up, I see the red trail of blood down his nose. He stands, trembling, trying to get away.
I lunge at him, and he falls backward like a coward, stumbling into a kitchen chair with a clatter.
From the living room, Sam is watching us over the couch.
I get in Ralph’s face, my voice low, “Fight me, Ralph. Fight me so your boy doesn’t think you’re a scared little bitch.”
Ralph’s eyes are wide with hate and fear.
“Maybe you want it that way, though.” I suck in a breath through my nose, smelling the blood. My skin is on fire. There’s no way Ralph isn’t just like Pat. No way he didn’t adopt a boy the same age as when Cole and I got abused. “Want him to see you weak. You think maybe he’ll want to fuck you more if you act like a child.”
“Wait,” Ralph sputters.
I punch Ralph again, the rage roaring through my blood. If he ever touched Cole, I’ll rip his insides out through his asshole. A haze settles over my vision, and I raise my hand to hit him again.
Vaguely, I feel a hand on my shoulder pulling me back. I whirl and swing on the person.
Cole ducks, dodging my blow. Immediately, he slams a hand into my chest, knocking me back. “Chill, dude.”
I heave for breath, and I want to lunge at him. How dare he fucking stop me?
Cole glances at Ralph and then back at me. There’s a tightness around his eyes. “You didn’t tell me you were going to have all the fun without me.”
I bounce on my toes. That haze is easing. I don’t want it to leave. I want to kill Ralph. Pound his face into the ground. Listen to him scream.
Cole glances at Sam, who’s standing on the couch.
“Let’s go talk, Ralph. First, tell Sam that you’re okay.”
Ralph wipes his nose, anger flashing across his face. “What the fuck? This guy is insane! Call the cops!”
Blind rage rips through me. He will not call the cops and get Jo taken away. Cole puts a firm hand on my chest. It feels like an anchor. An anchor I don’t fucking want. It’s dragging me down.
“If we’re going to play, we’re going to play the right way.” Cole leans in closer and hisses, “Not in front of the kid, asshole.”
I shake. Oh, we’re going to play. And I have no intention of doing it the right way.