30. Alex
CHAPTER 30
ALEX
W e slept in that morning. I was awake before Connor, and I very carefully moved as little as possible so I wouldn’t disturb him. I had no idea how much sleep he’d managed last night, so I wanted to let him doze as long as he needed to.
As slowly and quietly as I could, I slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to take a leak, then joined him again. He didn’t stir once.
While he slept, I lay back on the pillows and scrolled social media on my phone. A few coworkers had started a group chat to plan my chief’s upcoming retirement party, and it felt so weird to casually talk to them as if I wasn’t lying naked beside Lieutenant Commander Marks. None of us were particularly close, but if they knew where I was and who I was with…
What they don’t know won’t hurt us.
I paused mid-sentence to drink in the sight of him. He was on his side with his face half-buried in the pillow, his dark hair adorably mussed. I hadn’t noticed some of the subtle lines in his skin until now, when his features relaxed and those faint creases smoothed out a little. I probably had my fair share, too; time had that effect on people. It worked on him, too, just like the gray in his hair. Younger guys were still attractive, but now as I got older myself, I liked the signs of age in a good-looking man. It was charming, even if I couldn’t articulate quite why.
I also noticed for the first time some scars along his hairline and a couple on his cheek. One had that telltale ragged look of a laceration that had been sutured. Another was short but deep, as if something had lodged into the tissue or even gouged out a small chunk. One was long and fine, only visible because his dark stubble was thick enough to emphasize the thin white line.
Maybe I’d seen them all before and they just hadn’t registered, but now that I knew about that mortar that had almost killed him—shit. Were those from shrapnel? His neck was unmarred and the marks stopped where a helmet would’ve covered, so yeah, it was possible I was seeing where unprotected skin had been hit with metal, glass, stones, or whatever else the explosion had kicked up.
He could’ve died that day. If the mortar had landed a few feet—even a few inches—closer. If he hadn’t had on a helmet and something protecting his neck. If any number of things had happened… Connor could have died beside that Marine, and I never would’ve known he existed.
Fuck. That was a heavy thought.
Right then, a quiet ping told me that one of my coworkers had responded to the group chat. I shook myself out of my dark thoughts and shifted my attention back to the phone, and several more messages popped up. I really did want to help plan something for Chief Wallace’s retirement; I wasn’t close to the guy, but he’d worked hard and deserved a good send-off. It just didn’t interest me right now. Not on a warm, lazy morning in bed with this gorgeous man.
I muted the chat and switched back to my social media, but nothing kept my interest there either. The news was a mix of boring and terrifying—same shit, different day—and even the games I had on my phone couldn’t hold my attention.
Beside me, Connor stirred a little. When I turned to him, his eyes fluttered open. Then they fixed on me, and he offered up a sleepy smile, which brought back all those lines that had smoothed out. Wow, they really were charming, weren’t they?
How are you so gorgeous?
“Morning.” He scrubbed a hand over his unshaven face. “What time is it?”
I glanced at my phone before putting it on the nightstand, and as I settled on my side to face him, I said, “About 0930.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I wonder what teenage me would think if he knew that would one day qualify as sleeping in.”
I laughed. “I know, right?”
He chuckled, and he found my hand between us. It was tempting to steal a kiss, but morning breath would probably ruin the moment, so I just settled on enjoying his touch and his adorable smile.
Rubbing his thumb along mine, he said, “We should probably get dressed and get downstairs. I think breakfast stops at like ten.”
He was right. On the other hand…
“Counterpoint,” I said. “We can be lazy and just get breakfast at the train station.”
Connor pursed his lips. “The train stations do all seem to have pretty good pastries and coffee.”
“Mmhmm. They usually have some savory things, too. I’m not starving quite yet. What about you?”
He thought about it, then shrugged. “I could eat, but I’m good for a while.”
“So… hang out and be lazy?”
“Sounds perfect to me.”
That was exactly what we did, too. We took our sweet time getting ready to leave. We showered and dressed. Connor put in his contacts; such a shame since he looked so good in glasses, but he was hot without them too. Then we just lounged in bed with some coffee we’d made in the room. Not the greatest coffee I’d ever had, especially after brushing our teeth, but we’d both endured the “coffee” that flowed on ships, in combat zones, and in hospital staff lounges. I didn’t complain and neither did he.
“By the way,” I said after we’d hung out on the bed for a while, “I meant to ask—how was the rest of last night?” I touched his stubbled jaw. “I only remember waking up the one time, but…”
“It was fine.” Connor smiled sleepily as he pushed up his glasses. “I had a few more, but they weren’t as bad as the first.” Covering my hand with his, he kissed my palm. “I’m glad I didn’t wake you up again.”
“You could have if you needed to.”
“I was okay.” He pressed another kiss to my palm. “But thank you.”
I smiled, then leaned in to kiss him for real. It wasn’t a long kiss. Nothing deep or hungry that would get us spun up and turned on. Just a gentle taste of those perfect lips.
When I drew back, he held my gaze, and he smiled so sweetly, I was seriously disappointed that we’d have to leave soon. Couldn’t we just… stay here and be together in this bed for the rest of the day?
No, we couldn’t. Damn it.
And according to the clock on the nightstand, we were getting low on time.
I kissed him again, lightly this time. “I guess we should go. Your train leaves in an hour.”
He groaned with theatrical resistance, but he got up out of bed and so did I. After we’d finished making ourselves presentable, we pocketed our wallets and phones, double-checked the room to make sure we had everything, then headed for the door.
As I was reaching for the handle, though, Connor, said, “Wait.”
I faced him. “Hmm?”
“Before we’re out in public and I can’t get away with this anymore…” He cupped the sides of my neck, drew me in, and claimed a soft, spine-melting kiss.
I couldn’t help the quiet whimper as I wrapped my arms around him. He slid a hand from my neck up into my hair, raising goose bumps all over my body. I pressed my hardening cock against him, and I was met with a similar ridge beneath his clothes. Oh, fuck yes. Everything he did turned me on, but nothing more than him being turned on himself. I loved having that effect on him—getting him hard, making his breath stutter, making him squirm and shiver beneath my touch.
“We should go,” he murmured, but he made no effort to pull away.
“I know.” I pulled him closer. “Should get… Don’t want to miss our trains.”
“Uh-huh.” His tongue teased the corner of my lip, then slipped past to explore my mouth as if this was the first time we’d ever kissed.
What could I do but surrender?
We needed to check out of our room. We needed to get to the train station.
But…
Just a few more minutes.
Because this was what I lived for these days. I went through the motions at work, counting down the days until I retired, all the while looking forward to moments exactly like this one. Connor hit the spot in ways my past hookups and friends with benefits never had. His kiss could reduce my entire universe to that one point of contact between our mouths. His hands could be deliciously rough to the point of bruising, or they could be so gentle they left goose bumps in their wake. His body—every inch of it—was something I could worship for ages with my lips and my hands.
“You know…” I panted. “There’s… There’s more trains.”
“You’re right. There are.”
“Mmhmm. And we’ve still got a little time before we need to check out.” I nudged him back toward the bed. “Think we can do something in that time?”
“Absolutely,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “We…” He hesitated. “We can fuck when we get back to my place. Not enough time now.” He tugged me closer to the bed. “Pretty sure there’s still plenty we can do.”
“Damn right there is.”
Connor pulled me down on top of him, and I sank over him and into a deep, needy kiss. I wanted him to throw on a condom and fuck me into the mattress, but he was right—not enough time. Even a quickie still meant some prep and cleanup, and if he plowed me as hard as I wanted him to, the train ride back to El Puerto might not be very comfortable.
Fine. He could drill me into oblivion tonight.
For now, we made out as we pushed clothes off. Though this had to be a quickie, it wasn’t rushed. We still kissed like we had all damned day. We still touched like this was going to be the longest, most drawn-out foreplay of our lives. I was rock hard. So was he. We stroked each other as lazily as we kissed, and when Connor started on my neck—good God, this man loved kissing my neck—I was instantly covered in goose bumps.
“Jesus, baby,” I murmured.
He grinned against my throat before kissing beneath my jaw again. “Love it when you’re this turned on.”
I gave his cock a slow, appreciative stroke. “Likewise.”
“We don’t have time to fuck,” he mumbled against my skin, “but get the lube anyway.”
My only objection to that was that I had to let go of him long enough to roll away and reach for my bag.
I only got as far as opening the zipper before Connor was over me, kissing his way down my back. Every brush of his lips blanked my brain—holy fuck, he made me so damn hot.
“If we had the time,” he growled, “and you didn’t have to sit on the train for a couple of hours, I would be balls deep in you right now.”
I moaned, letting my head fall forward and my hand fall away from the bag. “Connor…”
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything to your ass, does it?”
I lifted my head and craned my neck, trying to look back at him. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”
The kiss he dropped on the center of my spine should’ve been a clue.
The one he planted at the small of my back—that tipped me off.
“Oh God…”
Oh God was right. We’d never discussed rimming aside from me mentioning that I enjoyed it, both giving and receiving. I had no idea if he’d ever done it before. If he hadn’t… well, then he was either a very fast learner or a fucking natural, because oh… my… God .
“Connor…” I writhed on the bed, my hard-on rubbing against the sheets as he licked and teased me like he’d never been the least bit nervous or self-conscious about sex in his life. His tongue was always magic, and this was no exception. “Oh, fuck, please don’t stop.”
He didn’t. He absolutely went to town on me, and I used what few brain cells were still functioning to make a mental note to return the favor. Bliss like this could not go unreciprocated… even if it had to be later because it was currently turning me into a trembling, moaning mess who could barely think about anything except how bad I wanted to come.
And how bad I wanted to make him come.
“Connor, I…” I squeezed my eyes shut and struggled to find my breath. “I’m gonna come if—I want to get you off too.”
He relented then, which gave me a chance to suck in some much-needed air. “Anything you want, baby.” He sounded breathless and unsteady, as if he were as close to the edge as I was. “Tell me what?—”
“Let me get the lube.”
His weight lifted up off me, so I fumbled with my bag and grabbed the lube. Then I rolled onto my back, and Connor was immediately over me. He leaned in to kiss me, but hesitated.
“Are, uh, are you okay with kissing after I’ve?—”
I cut him off with a deep, hard kiss.
He got the message.
We made out for a moment, and then he touched his forehead to mine. “Lube?”
I handed him the bottle. He coated both of our dicks with a generous amount of lube, and then we were back to kissing and lazily stroking each other. I didn’t even know who was setting the rhythm, only that our hands and hips had fallen into this perfect cadence, and we made out as we fucked into each other’s hands and took each other higher.
“I can’t wait till we get home,” he murmured, thrusting harder into my hand. “I want to come in you.”
The words made all the air rush out of my lungs. “Please? And fuck me hard?”
His eyes fluttered shut as he murmured, “Oh my fucking God…” Then he was kissing my neck, thrusting as if he were doing to my hand exactly what he planned to do to my ass later, and all the while, he was jerking me off like he needed my orgasm.
I arched under him, thrusting up into his fist as I pumped him furiously. A throaty groan escaped my lips, and Connor pushed himself up and gazed down at me with fire in his eyes.
“You getting there?” he panted.
All I could do was nod.
A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat. “Come, baby,” he pleaded. “That’s it. Come for me. God, you’re so sexy when you’re falling apart.”
I was falling apart, and all it took was another brush of his lips across my throat in the same moment he added a twist to his strokes, and I was doing exactly what he’d begged me to do. I cried out, thrusting up into his slick fist, and he egged me on, cursing and moaning against my throat until he also shuddered, swore, and added his cum to mine.
We collapsed against each other, trying to catch our breath.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “That was…”
“Uh-huh.” I lifted my head to kiss him softly. “I didn’t realize you were so into rimming.”
He gave a soft, breathless laugh. “Surprise?”
I chuckled, and we sank into another long kiss. We could’ve stayed like that all damn day, but as the dust settled, reality set in.
We had trains to catch.
Fortunately, we hadn’t killed too much time, and we weren’t far from the train station. All we had to do was clean up, get dressed, and head out, even if it was a chore to pry ourselves apart.
As we left the room and returned to the real world, I struggled to find my balance. It wasn’t just from my orgasm, either; everything felt surreal. The world around us. Everything we’d done just before we left. Just… everything.
It was just a quick and dirty handjob between two guys who were too horny to wait until we got home. Right?
Except… no. It hadn’t been like that at all. Yeah, we’d been horny. Yeah, we’d needed to get each other off.
But Connor hadn’t kissed me or touched me like he was horny and wanted to get us both off.
He’d touched me like he wanted me .
* * *
After eating a light lunch in the train station, we decided to board the same train after all. There was no point in one of us loitering around the station for an hour or two, and as always, if someone saw us, we could just say we ran into each other and figured we’d sit together to pass the time.
We settled into a car with our coffee. There were a few people in here with us, but they were mostly clustered toward the other end and no one paid any attention to us.
My head was still light after that orgasm. He always rocked my world, and this morning was no exception.
As the train started moving, though, he seemed to be someplace else. Lost in thought, and not necessarily a good one.
I nudged him gently with my foot. “Hey. What’s on your mind?”
“Oh. Um.” He met my gaze, but he still hesitated. After a moment, though, he took a breath. “Can I ask you about something personal?”
Now it was my turn to be caught off-guard, but I pretended I wasn’t. “Sure. Yeah.” I gestured with my coffee cup. “I think we’re past the point of ‘too personal,’ aren’t we?”
Connor laughed. “Okay, maybe. But, um…” He sobered a little and searched my eyes. “Out of curiosity… why did you decide to stay closeted all this time?”
Oh.
That.
I took another swallow of coffee. “Like I said before, I was in while DADT was still in effect. After it was lifted, most people I knew who came out were fine, but a few had problems.”
Connor scowled. “Me too. I wasn’t out myself, but I remember hearing about some people getting grief for it.”
“Right? So I just… I decided I didn’t want to chance it. I wanted to stay in long enough to retire, and I was afraid it might derail my career.”
He nodded as I spoke. “I don’t blame you. I remember during that time thinking I was glad I was married to a woman. There was no reason for me to come out, so I didn’t have to chance any blowback.”
“I was the opposite—I was just hooking up and maybe having a casual relationship here and there. I didn’t have anything serious enough to make coming out worthwhile, so…” I half-shrugged. “I kept it to myself.”
He watched me silently for a moment. “What changed with Tobias?”
I jumped like he’d kicked me. “What?”
“You dated him, didn’t you? Like… an actual relationship?” Connor tilted his head. “I’m just curious what was different with him.”
“Oh. Um.” I swallowed, the back of my throat acidic just from the thought of that shitshow. “I didn’t go into it planning on dating him.”
“No?”
I shook my head. “I just wanted sex, but then he was…” I dropped my gaze and shook my head. “In hindsight, it was love-bombing. It’s so fucking obvious now. The way he was always telling me how amazing I was, and how hot I was, and how he couldn’t stop thinking about me…” I rolled my eyes. “Plus it was just gifts and expensive dinners and… ugh. It really is so obvious now, but at the time, I was just like, wow, someone’s actually this interested in me? Because that was part of why I stayed single—it wasn’t just that I didn’t want to deal with a relationship alongside the military. I never got the impression I was worth the effort.”
Connor’s lips parted. “Really?”
I nodded, not sure why my cheeks were suddenly hot. “I was always booty call material, not boyfriend material. Then here comes this guy who acts like I am boyfriend material, and I thought, fuck it—why not?” I shook my head. “And then it all blew up in my face.”
“So he was good in the beginning,” Connor said softly. “Then shifted gears.”
“Most people like that do. They wait until you’re under their thumb, and then the true colors come out slowly.” I exhaled. “And like, I was already fucked up from combat. Now I’ve got issues with men. So… I don’t know. I think I just need to finish my career, get some help in the civilian world, and then maybe see if I can pull off a relationship.” I laughed bitterly. “If I’m lucky, I might land a boyfriend before I’m fifty.”
Connor didn’t laugh, and he studied me silently for a moment. Then he put his coffee aside and pressed his elbow into the armrest. “And you’d never had one before? Not even like in high school?”
“Oh God no. In high school, I was just counting down the days until I graduated so I could join the Navy and get the hell out of my hometown.”
His eyebrows rose. “So you’ve just… spent your whole adult life waiting for something to be over?” I very nearly snapped that it worked for me so he could back the fuck off, but before I could say anything, he sighed and added, “Kind of sounds like me for the last half of my marriage.”
I blinked, my sudden irritation gone as quickly as it had come. “It… It does?”
He nodded. “I think I knew a long time ago that we weren’t in it for the long haul. I convinced myself we just needed to get the boys through high school and off to college, and then we could go our separate ways.”
Furrowing my brow, I cocked my head. “That’s what you did, isn’t it?”
He wobbled his hand in the air. “Kind of? We separated before my younger son’s senior year.” He grimaced. “But we should’ve done it a long time ago. We thought it would be better for the kids and for ourselves, but…” He shook his head.
I shifted a little in my seat, not sure what to say.
“The thing is, it’s hard not to look back and realize how much of my life I wasted being unhappy with someone. Because even before I realized we weren’t going to make it… we weren’t going to make it. We were just treading water, both of us telling ourselves we’d get through this deployment, or we’d get through this duty station, or we’d get the kids through high school.” He sighed, pressing back against his seat. “And then one day I’m forty, finally divorced, and wondering how I’m ever going to make up for lost time.”
“That’s the kind of thing I wanted to avoid,” I said. “I see so many people—especially service members—go through that, and…” I shook my head. “The Navy is enough stress on its own, you know? Plus all the therapy I’m not getting.”
“I get that.” He locked eyes with me. “But it’s amazing how easy it is to suddenly realize how much life passed by while you were waiting for the right time to start living.” He put up his hand. “I don’t want to sound like I’m pressuring you or criticizing you. If this is working for you, then it’s the right thing. Obviously.” Lowering his hand, he exhaled. “I think I’ve just been realizing a lot lately how much I could’ve done differently.” He quirked his lips, then rolled his eyes. “But it sounds like I’m trying to tell you how to—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” I said. “I’ve worried about that sometimes, to tell you the truth. That I’m putting things off more than I should. I was never in much of a hurry because I didn’t want to have kids, but I probably should’ve done something about my mental health sooner.” I tsked. “Not that the military will let me but… Anyway. It’s going to take me a long time to unfuck myself, and… well, like I said, if I’m lucky, I’ll land a boyfriend by the time I’m fifty.”
Connor studied me again. “Do you have to be through therapy before you can pursue something?”
“Maybe not all the way through it, but I’d rather not be this much of a mess when I put myself out there for something serious, you know?”
He seemed like he might suggest otherwise, but instead, he grunted and nodded. “I get that. It took a toll on my marriage. I don’t know if it would’ve been easier if she’d met me after the wars fucked me up, but at least then she’d have had a better idea of what she was getting into. So… I get it.”
“Comes with the territory in this job, doesn’t it?”
“Unfortunately.”
Thank God, we moved to lighter topics after that. I didn’t want to talk about my jacked up mental health or my pathetic romantic life, especially not with him. Not on the heels of such an amazing weekend together.
Not when I was stupidly feeling things for him that I had no business feeling.
I felt good, and I didn’t want to think too hard about how there was no point in even entertaining these ridiculous feelings fluttering around in my chest and banging around in my head.
I didn’t want to, but I did.
Especially since, about half an hour after our train pulled out of Córdoba, Connor dozed off. I didn’t mind, and I let him sleep. Last night had been hard on him, so he was probably exhausted.
It just gave me time to think, and oh, wow, was I thinking.
I couldn’t stop thinking about everything we’d discussed, and about the sex we’d had on this trip. It had been amazing, because sex with him was always amazing, but it had also been… different.
I knew what this was—what we’d set out to do—but nothing we did together felt like the booty calls or hookups they were supposed to be.
And then there were the conversations. Like the one we’d had while we’d settled onto the train. I felt weirdly guilty about not showing him all my cards about coming out and finding a partner. I’d never thought twice about keeping them hidden from fuck buddies in the past, but for some reason, it didn’t seem right to keep this close to the vest now.
It felt weird, admitting to things I didn’t want him or anyone else to now about me. Like I’d shown him how utterly pathetic I was when it came to men.
Hell, maybe that was why I’d gone ahead and told him—because with as much time as Connor was spending with me, with as much as he was risking for the dubious honor of my company, he deserved to know.
Then again, he probably did know. It just didn’t matter because for all I had stupid, ridiculous feelings, this was nothing more than sex, traveling, and sometimes hanging out. He wasn’t looking at this with any long-term thoughts in mind—just scratching that horny itch and finding his sea legs in bed with a man. He’d probably figured out from the start what other men always did—that I might be worth the effort for orgasms and someone to talk to, but that was about it. I wasn’t boyfriend material. I wasn’t someone people wanted for anything more than sex or company, and even those only lasted until someone better came along.
He was satisfied with what he was getting from me, but I was kidding myself if I thought I was his Mr. Right. I was Mr. Right Now for a lonely, newly divorced man who was exploring his sexuality and a foreign country. When the time came and he wanted to settle down, Connor could definitely do better.
I shifted my gaze from the passing scenery to the man sleeping across from me.
Yeah, Connor could do way better than me.
But the longer we did this, the more I struggled to imagine finding a man who was better than him.
* * *
We got off the train in El Puerto and headed to the parking lot. We’d driven in separately, but we’d parked near each other, and we walked down the row of cars gleaming in the blazing sun.
When we reached mine, I stopped, and after I’d put my things in the trunk, I turned to him. “Okay. Well. I guess I’ll see you… whenever I see you?”
Why was I so fucking disappointed that we were going our separate ways?
Connor cocked his head. “You’re not coming back to my place?”
“I…” Oh. Wait. Was I? “I mean… Do you want me to?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I seem to recall promising to fuck you into the mattress tonight.”
Shivering, I bit my lip. “You did, didn’t you?”
“Uh-huh.” He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder as he glanced around. “You know.” He swallowed hard, then met my gaze. “I don’t just want you to come over to fuck. I’ve had a good time this weekend, and, I mean, that doesn’t have to end right now.”
Why was I so relieved by that?
But I just smiled. “Okay. I’ll meet you at your place.”
I did, and we spent the rest of the day relaxing in his blissfully cool house. He fucked me exactly as hard as he’d promised, nearly driving me to tears with the force of my orgasm. Then we showered and cuddled in bed for a while. Even afterward, he didn’t try to herd me toward the door or hint that now our weekend was over. When we started getting hungry, he ordered takeout from our favorite kebab restaurant, and we ate outside by his pool. And finally, long after the sun had gone down, we climbed into his bed. No sex. No expectation of sex. Nothing more than some lazy kissing, and he seemed just as happy with that as I was.
He fell asleep first, and I lay there for the longest time, just drinking in this comfortable stillness with Connor breathing softly beside me.
How was I going to get used to the next guy? To the usual routine of fooling around and then parting ways for the night? Because I wasn’t going to be sleeping over like I did with Connor. It had been hard enough to move on after Tobias. He’d left me feeling worthless, gross, and unlovable. Connor? He’d be a tough act to follow because he’d raised the bar so damn high.
Well, I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. Maybe I’d hit up Isidoro again. He and I had pretty much had sex on demand from the beginning; if one of us was feeling horny or was just bored on a Friday night, the other was usually game. I could go a couple of weeks or even longer without feeling that itch for a man’s touch.
I cuddled closer to Connor just because I could.
I hadn’t had this with Isidoro. I hadn’t had it with Tobias. I hadn’t had it with anyone .
This thing I had with Connor was different from anything I’d had with anyone else. Maybe because on those nights when I was keenly aware of his absence beside me, there was nothing I could do. We could text. We could FaceTime. But I couldn’t have him next to me—not for sex and not for sleeping.
And when I did have him beside me, even when neither of us was in the mood for anything caliente , the whole world felt right.
Was this what it felt like to fall for someone?
Probably. That would be just my luck, wouldn’t it? The first time I let myself catch the feels for someone, it would be someone I absolutely could not have under any circumstances.
I kissed his temple and ran my fingers along his shoulder.
There would come a time when there were no more rules preventing us from being together. Sixteen months and counting, and I’d be retired, no longer beholden to the UCMJ like I was now. It sounded like a long time, but I’d start the retirement process in about four months. A year after that, I’d be a civilian.
I could be with Connor.
I wouldn’t be, though, because that wasn’t what this was. I was kidding myself if I thought he’d want to do this cloak-and-dagger shit for that long. I could believe I was worth the risk and the effort of dashing off to another city for some sex and sightseeing. I could believe he liked sleeping next to me enough to take the chance of having me stay at his place tonight or any other night.
But was what he got out of this worth over a year of career-threatening secrecy?
Doubtful.
I closed my eyes and just listened to him breathe, savoring his body heat and his soft skin against mine.
More and more, I had to admit to myself that if he wanted to play the long game, I was in. As much as I’d avoided relationships because I just didn’t want to balance love and the Navy, I was starting to think that maybe love had found me.
I just wished I could believe the man beside me felt the same.