Chapter 27
“So you made a mistake thinking you could remain emotionally unattached,”
Olive said. “Whatever. It happens.”
No one responded.
This was because it was nearly midnight and once again she was alone in Gram’s attic. She loved her London flat, she did. But she’d never felt as completely at home there as she did here, in the house she’d run to as a teenager, the house where she’d grown into her own person, the house where she always felt the most herself.
“And there’s something else,”
she told the quiet attic. “In spite of that mistake, I don’t want to leave.”
She hadn’t expected this. She’d been so sure that by now she’d be chomping at the bit to get back to the life she’d so carefully built for herself six thousand miles away.
Being here wasn’t supposed to feel so right. It wasn’t her life anymore. But sitting on the bed, no makeup, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, she felt more like herself than she had in a long time. She was in her oldest, comfiest clothes: her zip-up hoodie with Not slim, kinda shady written across her chest and sweat bottoms she’d stolen from Noah all those years ago—yes, she still had them. She’d rolled the sweats at her waist but she still tripped over the long, frayed legs whenever she walked.
So she didn’t walk. She sat on the bed hugging a pillow while watching The Shining on her laptop. She’d seen the movie a hundred times, and it still scared the crap out of her.
A knock sounded on the access door and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Before she could leap up and hide under the bed, the door slowly creaked open. Grabbing her phone, she hoisted it like she was a pro baseball pitcher, prepared to chuck it at whoever’s head dared to show itself.
When she saw a tall shadow, she froze, arm still raised in indecision.
“Go ahead, I probably deserve it.”
She nearly collapsed in relief as Noah stepped out of the complete dark and into the meager light cast by her laptop. He stood bedside in cargoes and a forest green windbreaker with Federal Agent printed in bright yellow on a pec and down one arm, clearly armed to the teeth and looking deadly sexy and deadly dangerous to her heart and soul. She put a hand to her chest. “You scared me.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping at Katie’s? Because of me?”
She grimaced inwardly. “No. It’s because of me. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just got back. I could see the glow of your laptop from the driveway, so I knew you were awake. Can we talk?”
“About?”
she asked warily.
“About earlier. When I was a dick.”
“Which time?”
He gave a rough laugh, stared at his boots for a moment, then lifted his head. “You’re right. Let’s start at the beginning. That night of our high school graduation party, when you were going to sleep with the biggest asshole on the planet—for your first time.”
Oh boy. So they were going to go there. Okay, then. She scooted over and gestured for him to sit.
He paused to unload his weapons—gun, knife, another gun—setting them on the chest at the foot of the bed before sitting at her side, stretching his long legs out and leaning back with a sigh that sounded exhausted.
“We both know you were the one I wanted that night,”
she said. “But you’d turned me down. So what did it matter to you who I slept with?”
“What did it matter—”
He broke off and twisted to face her. “It mattered, because of this.”
He kissed her, a sensuous, erotic kiss that shut down her brain.
By the time he pulled back, she’d forgotten why she’d wanted to chuck her phone at his head.
“It mattered,”
he said quietly, rubbing his jaw to hers like he was a cat. A big, dangerous wildcat. “Because I wanted to be the one kissing you. Touching you . . .”
She put a hand on his chest and nudged him back a little so she could think. “At the risk of repeating myself, you’d turned me down.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t. I said it wasn’t the right time. I wanted it to be because you wanted me, not because you wanted to lose your virginity.”
She blinked. “I didn’t get that memo.”
“Because you were hell-bent on not listening to me that night. And then when I saw you being tugged by Trev to his dad’s truck so you could be a conquest of the party, I lost my shit.”
No. Nope. “You told him I was more trouble than I was worth!”
A very small smile curved his lips. “Which was true.”
The opposite of amused, she narrowed her eyes. “You embarrassed me in front of our whole class!”
“Not my finest hour,”
he admitted. “But I was panicked and worried.”
“You never panic or worry.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Panic’s rare for me, I’ll give you that. But I’m a pro at worrying, especially about those I care about, and Olive, I cared deeply about you. I did what I did so he would walk away without hurting you.”
She was still reeling about the caring deeply thing. “You thought he’d hurt me?”
“Yes.”
He paused as if weighing his words, then shut his mouth.
“Oh, don’t hold back now.”
“It was a bet,”
he said flatly.
She stared at him. “What?”
“If he’d slept with you, he’d have won a bet between him and some of his idiot friends.”
Okay, that was a blow she hadn’t seen coming. She stared into his eyes and saw nothing but honesty, so she decided to give him some honesty right back. “Trev never had the power to hurt me. You, however, did. And it was you who hurt me that night.”
“Which I’ll regret to my dying day.”
Everything, from the tense line of his body to his soulful eyes, told her that was true, and went a long way toward healing a part of her she hadn’t even realized needed healing. “And the other times you were a dick?”
He looked at her for a long beat. “I’ve got something I’d like to show you first.”
She let a small smile curve her lips. “I’ve already seen it in all its spectacular glory.”
He choked out a laugh. “Not what I meant, but good to know. Can I . . . would you come with me somewhere? Please, Oli?”
He seemed so serious, too serious, and her sassy mouth couldn’t let it be. “Will there be food?”
“Whatever you want,” he said.
“Popcorn?”
That got her a smile. “Yeah,”
he said. “There will be popcorn.”
“Chocolate?”
“And chocolate.”
She laughed. “You’re just saying that to lure me in.”
And even though they both knew she’d been lured in by him a long time ago, he stood and held out his hand. “You willing to take a chance and find out?”