12. Lincoln
lincoln
. . .
I brought the beer bottle to my lips, taking a long sip as I stared over the flames of the massive bonfire. Josie sat across the way, laughing at something her sister said.
It was torture. Torture to see her again, to not know why she left. She wouldn’t even look at me for longer than two seconds before tearing her gaze away.
I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing here. It was a fool’s errand; I’d known as much when Doug Hayes had called me a month ago with condolences and a job offer. He needed help running his training clinic and had heard from Frank that I had a gift for calming a wild spirit.
Frank .
I missed the old bastard more than I cared to admit. His death, while not a complete shock, had come much sooner than either of us thought. A year and a half ago, he’d been diagnosed with lung cancer. The doc had given him a good prognosis, considering how late they’d caught it, but he refused treatment. Said he wanted to live out the rest of his days in peace and there was no use in fighting the inevitable .
The day I found him was the worst of my life, but he got the last laugh.
Ever since I’d told him that Josie had left me with nothing more than a scrap of paper holding two pathetic words, he’d spent his days trying to convince me to go get her.
Every day, at his ranch or the bar, he’d ask me if I’d reached out.
Every day, my answer had remained the same.
No .
But he hadn’t given up. This job was proof of that.
Frank had given me everything in his will. His land in Tennessee, his bar, and his blessing. He’d even arranged for someone to take care of everything while I was gone because he knew I would’ve said no to Doug when he called if he hadn’t.
He’d said life was too short not to chase after what you want.
We shared that sentiment, but now I couldn’t help but wonder if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Being near Josie Hayes, well, it was a cruel form of torture.
I’d known what awaited me in Texas, and I’d come anyway.
It wasn’t like I had anyone to keep me company in Tennessee.
It’d been a surprise for both of us when he figured out who Josie’s dad was. She and I had never traded last names, but Frank had sworn there was something familiar about her he couldn’t place. It wasn’t until he’d been up to inspect the Hayes’ cabin near the peak that it clicked.
He’d walked up to the bar, slapped a picture on the table, said, “Found your girl,” and then walked back to the storage closet he called an office. Smug fucker even whistled the whole ten steps, leaving me with nothing but the sound of George Strait on the jukebox.
I didn’t realize what it was at the time, or how Frank even had it. When I’d questioned him about it, he’d asked me if I’d reached out to Josie yet. He wouldn’t budge, refusing to tell me his secrets until the end.
I wanted to be angry at Josie, and part of me was. I’d spent more time feeling blindsided and confused. Did I have any right to be? We’d only known each other for five days, but it’d been enough to make me want more. I wanted her time. I wanted to build on that five days until it became a lifetime.
When I agreed to come to Texas, I’d made a plan. Yes, I was going to work my ass off and try to live up to the man Frank thought I could be, but it was more than that. I wanted to look her in the eye and ask her why she’d left without a goodbye.
“How was your first day?” Bishop asked, sitting beside me with two more beers. I downed the rest, trading it for the fresh one in his hand. “Ready to run for the hills yet?”
“Naw,” I said, shaking my head. There was no way I would run now. Not when everything I wanted was so close. “It’s a little out of my comfort zone, but I’m grateful to learn from the best, you know? Douglas Hayes is a fucking legend.”
Even before I knew Frank’s connection to the Hayes family, or Josie’s for that matter, I knew who Doug was. As a kid, I watched him on TV, dreaming of the day I could be just like him. It was part of the reason I’d entered the equine world to begin with.
But I’d never thought I’d be sitting here on his ranch, staring at his daughter like I was. God, she was fucking beautiful. I hadn’t forgot, but it was different seeing her again.
“He is,” Bishop agreed. “He’s a tough bastard, but I’ve never met a man with a bigger heart.”
“What’s your story with him?” I asked, screwing off the lid.
Bishop was silent, taking a long pull of his beer before he answered. “I grew up here. My mom was an alcoholic, and my dad… Well, he was never around much. He’d pop in several times a year, stay for a few weeks, then leave. Mom never talked about him, and I learned not to ask. Then, one year later, he didn’t show, an d Mom was distraught. She was always a mess, but this was different. She blamed me, said it was my fault he’d left in the first place. Then she kicked me out.”
“Fuck, man,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, playing it off. “It was a long time ago. Can’t exactly hold it against her now. Point is, Doug took me in when I had no one else. I worked at the Tractor Supply in town. We’d met a few times when he came in to buy shit for the ranch. When mom kicked me out, I packed my bags and walked out here looking for a job and a place to stay.”
“You walked here?”
“Sure did. What else was I supposed to do? I had nowhere to go. Doug was my only chance to carve out a new future for myself, and I was determined to make him see how serious I was. Turns out, he was going to offer me a job the moment I turned eighteen. He said we’d just expedited the timeline a bit.”
“And you’ve been here ever since?”
“Yeah,” he said, pulling his hat down. “No reason to leave—not that I’d want to. I just want to work hard and earn an honest living. Doug gave me both of those things.”
I nodded my head. “I get that. We all need someone to believe in us.”
The sensation of being watched had my gaze flitting across the roaring flames. Amongst the chaos of laughter and loud music, Josie’s eyes were fixed on me. The smile on her face moments ago was gone, replaced by a million questions I was sure were reflected on my own.
How many days had I thought about her? How long had I spent wondering what would happen when I saw her again for the first time?
Josie pushed to her feet, murmuring something to her sisters as they tried to follow her. It was enough to make me believe she was going to bed .
Almost .
But then the older one, Cleo, I think, looked my way, and I knew it wasn’t that simple. I couldn’t have her slipping away just because she didn’t want to share the same space as me.
If she wanted to run away after we’d talked, fine. I’d give her all the space she wanted after she gave me the answers I was looking for.
“I’ll be back,” I told Bishop, rising from the log bench I’d parked my ass on for the past hour. His only response was a gruff nod before returning to his beer. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was damn sure about to find out as I set a leisurely pace behind her.
The fire pit stood in front of the main cabins, all of which were occupied by additional staff and guests attending the clinics. It was a halfway point between our lodging and the stables. Josie was already a solid thirty feet ahead of me, her head down and hands in her pockets. She dipped into the barn, not daring to look behind her.
When I rounded the corner, I saw her standing near the end. The moonlight slipped through the windows, just enough to see a dappled grey horse poke its neck out of its stall. It bobbed its head, reaching forward to nuzzle its velvet nose into Josie’s open palm.
“He yours?” I asked, resting my shoulder against a rough cedar beam.
Her body stiffened at the sound of my voice, but she didn’t run away. “ She ,” Josie corrected. “Her name’s Silver.”
“Silver, huh? How’d you come up with that one, I wonder.”
Josie’s lips quirked, and I took it as a win. “In my defense, I was only seven when my dad brought her home. It was either Silver or Princess Unicorn Sugar Blossom.”
“Well, with two absolute contenders like that, I don’t know how you ever made a choice. ”
“Don’t be a dick,” she laughed. “Blame my parents for giving me free rein. I think they thought I’d name it after my favorite movie or something, but I was really into princesses and unicorns as a kid.”
I pushed off the beam, making my way to her side. “What prompted the swing toward Silver?”
Josie hummed, running her hand over Silver’s forelock. “I suspect my sister swayed my decision. I distinctly remember a barn cat named Mr. Stubby Butt.”
“I assume he didn’t have a tail?”
“Nope,” Josie said, popping the p. “He had a long, bushy tail. It makes no sense, but none of us ever questioned it.”
We both laughed, falling into a companionable silence. Josie ran her hands up and down Silver’s nose, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away.
When I was in Tennessee, it’d been easy to pretend I hadn’t missed her—that she was nothing more than a temporary distraction, a fling—but standing here in her presence was entirely different.
I’d forgotten how goddamn beautiful she was or how her laughter made me smile. I’d forgotten how she chewed on her bottom lip when she was nervous—a habit that would get me in a hell of a lot of trouble, seeing as all it made me want to do was kiss her.
“Why’re you here, Lincoln?” Her voice was soft, a whisper I almost hadn’t caught. And there she went, pulling that damn lip between her teeth.
“Here as in?—”
“As in Texas,” she said, facing me for the first time. “As in my family’s ranch. As in my barn.”
I blew out a breath. “There’s a bunch of reasons, Josie. I don’t know which one you want.”
“I want the truth. ”
The truth was complicated and messy. Did I even know what it was?
Yes.
No.
Maybe? I mean, I’d come here for Frank, to try and make sense of my life before I died an old man with a ranch, a bar, and no one I loved at my side.
But selfishly, I’d also come for Josie.
“I think you know better than anyone how complicated the truth can be,” I said, looking up at her from under the brim of my baseball cap.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Come on, Josie,” I said, running my hand along the back of my neck. How did she not understand? “I’m not looking for a fight.”
I wanted to talk but not like this. She was building her wall higher by the minute, and I couldn’t do anything but watch as she shut me out. If I didn’t do something soon, I’d have no chance of breaking through.
She blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to tell you, Lincoln. We knew each other for a short time—the blink of an eye, really. What did you expect? What did I owe you?” I tried to stop her, but she barreled through me. “You knew I’d leave eventually. My life is here. My family is here.”
I stepped closer, crowding her space until her scent hit me. It was faint, hidden after working in the Texas heat all day, but the sweet hint of vanilla was there all the same.
“You didn’t owe me shit. That isn’t what this is about.” She turned her head, refusing to look my way. I could live with that if she listened to me for five seconds. “If you’d talked to me before bolting, I’d have told you I wasn’t looking to take any of that away from you. Hell, I don’t know what could’ve happened between us. Maybe we’d have burned out in half a second, but—” I paused, reaching out and grabbing her hand. She kept her gaze on the far wall but didn’t pull away. “Josie, do something for me. Look me in the eye and tell me you felt nothing. Tell me it was all in my head. There was something between us last year that neither of us could explain.”
“Lincoln,” she began, but I cut her off.
“And I know you felt it, too. I know you felt that familiar tug, the familiarity between two strangers that neither of us could explain.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” she said, trying to walk past me, but I was faster.
I tightened my hold on her hand, pulling her back to face me. All I could do now was lay it on the line. “Look, if you want nothing to do with me, tell me now. But I want to make one thing clear.” My gaze dropped to her lips, and she tracked the movement. “I may have come here to honor Frank’s wishes, but I also came to remind you of how good we were, of what we could be again if you let me. Is this really over?”
She looked up at me through dark, thick lashes. The barn’s darkness was a protective cocoon, shielding us from the outside world as we shared breath. I let go of her hand, trailing my fingertips up the length of her arm and shoulder until I cupped her face.
We were so close. I could kiss her. I wanted to kiss her.
“Josie,” I said, leaning in until there was only a fraction of space between our lips.
And then her phone rang.
Josie jumped away from me as though I’d shocked her, putting as much space as she could between us. She pulled the phone from her pocket, eyes darting between me and the screen as she pressed the green button and whispered two more words that fucking killed me.
“Hey, babe.”