CHAPTER THREE
The door opened and Caleen expected the headmaster to come back, but it was Soryan who entered the room.
Hook, Caleen should have thought about him earlier. Soryan was Taveris's best friend, and he had been grieving, too. Now, he paused a few feet away from the bed and took the sight of Taveris in for a few seconds before looking at Caleen.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Master Dorrat is outside. You didn't put him on the list, so I wanted to make sure—"
"He's fine, he's fine," Caleen hurried to say. "Lord Dalon as well, I'm sure he's not far behind. I didn't think of them earlier." He shook his head. A lot of people he hadn't stopped to think about. "I'm not coming out of here anytime soon and we have a lot to talk about, so they should be here. You, as well, if you want," he added. "I'm sorry for not—"
"It's okay," Soryan cut in. "You put me on the list, I chose to stay outside for now. Once our replacements show up, I'll be here."
Naveen moved to his companion and Soryan immediately put his arm around him.
"If you're going to speak with Master Dorrat, I'll walk Soryan out and leave you to it," Naveen said. "I'll be right outside if you need anything."
You don't have to leave, Caleen wanted to tell his brother, but maybe Naveen needed that break. Caleen's whole focus was on Taveris anyway.
"Okay."
He didn't watch them go, as his gaze was drawn to Taveris yet again, but he turned to greet Master Dorrat with a nod. The man had been his advisor for four years now, but he was much more than that, too. He and Lord Dalon had seen Caleen at his best and at his worst and he respected them both, but if Caleen had to pick one of them as a confidant, it would always be Master Dorrat.
Caleen watched him as he moved closer, but then he looked back at Taveris.
"How is he?" Master Dorrat asked before putting a warm hand on Caleen's back.
It was a surprising but welcome weight.
"Unconscious, but stable," he repeated the head healer's words. They weren't any clearer this time around, either. "They don't know what it is, so they can't say anything more for now."
"He's alive, that's the most important part," Master Dorrat said as he moved to the other side of Taveris's bed.
These two had disagreed a lot, but Caleen knew there was mutual respect there. Watching Master Dorrat now, it was obvious he was struggling to maintain his calm. Or obvious to Caleen, at least, who'd learned to see beneath the mask over the years.
"I still can't believe it," he admitted quietly into the silence. "I thought—" He didn't meet his advisor's gaze, staring at Taveris instead. "And now he's here, with me, but I still don't know what happened. Or how." He looked up then. "How's that possible? Everyone said he was dead, you were there…"
Master Dorrat clenched his jaw.
"We have no idea how Taveris got here this morning, but Master Oriyan was the last one to see Taveris in the Silent Room. Both of us were there for the majority of time, but I left to— I left. I actually never saw Taveris's body getting claimed by the mourning fire." He paused. "I'm sorry."
Caleen stilled. "Is he the one who…?"
If Master Oriyan was the last person to see Taveris, he had to be involved, but Caleen had no idea why he would do something like this. The man was one of the Academy's healers, but he was always on the outskirts and Caleen had barely seen him around aside from the ceremonies.
Master Dorrat leaned on his fists against the edge of the bed and nodded.
"I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, since I've known him for years, but when I went to ask him about it, his room was empty. He disappeared from the Academy grounds at some point after last night's dinner." He glanced at Taveris. "That's as good as a signed confession, I would think."
Caleen slumped onto the chair next to the bed.
"If he's gone, we don't get to know why, or how. This whole thing doesn't make sense."
"We will find him," Master Dorrat said. "I promise you that."
Caleen grabbed Taveris's hand and tangled their fingers together before pulling it to his chest. I need you. You need to wake up, I can't do this alone.
"Did you know that two members of the dragon council were here for the ceremony?" he asked his advisor. "They want to talk to me about something, the headmaster is bringing them in."
"And you agreed to it?" Master Dorrat's sharp tone was a surprise in the quiet room. Caleen straightened on instinct. "You just said it yourself, we don't know why or how this happened to Taveris. It's not safe to bring strangers into this until we know more."
"But there's no one who could tell us more!" Caleen tightened his grip on Taveris's hand. "Besides, they're not just anybody. They are elders from the dragon council and the headmaster is vouching for them. They claim to have some insight into what's happening with Taveris, which means I don't have a choice. I have to do anything I can to help him."
"You won't help him by constantly putting yourself in danger!" Master Dorrat stepped back from the bed and crossed his arms against his chest. "Don't think I forgot your stunt with sneaking out to go see the royal council."
Caleen closed his eyes. They'd had a fight like never before after he returned to the Academy. Master Dorrat could be vicious even when he was speaking quietly, but he'd been shouting then. At some point, Caleen started shouting, too, and Lord Dalon and the headmaster were forced to calm them down.
He thought they'd left that behind, but apparently not.
He opened his eyes and met Master Dorrat's gaze head on.
"It worked. You don't know what would have happened if I hadn't gone."
"You don't know what could've happened if someone had caught you along the way!" Master Dorrat took a deep breath. "You've been reckless lately and I know you've been hurting, but as your advisor, I'm telling you that it's detrimental for the future king to act like this."
The breath got stuck in Caleen's chest. Master Dorrat definitely knew where to hit to do the most damage.
And he wasn't done.
"But I can see that my advice is no longer of importance to you. In that case, I'm going to excuse myself." He straightened. "Maybe that's for the best, anyway. I'll lead the search for Master Oriyan. I'll see you when I get back."
He headed towards the door, and Caleen couldn't just let him walk out like this, no matter how hurt he himself was.
"Wait!" He stood up. "Let's talk about this."
Master Dorrat turned at that and crossed the room until he was close enough to grip the back of Caleen's neck.
Caleen inhaled sharply. They barely touched at all, and never like this.
"We won't find an agreement on this." There was a fire in Master Dorrat's eyes that Caleen hadn't seen since right after Taveris's disappearance. "You said it yourself. You're willing to risk everything. I'm not."
"I'm not asking you to risk everything," Caleen whispered. He wouldn't. It had always been his fight.
Master Dorrat shook his head and stepped back. "I'm talking about you."
He was out of the room before Caleen understood what he meant. Master Dorrat didn't want to risk him.
"Hook, damn it." Caleen slid down onto his chair again and rested his forehead against Taveris's hand that he was still holding. "I'm messing everything up, aren't I?" He tilted his head to see the face of his bonded. "That's why I need you," he said quietly. "There's a million reasons why I want you in my life, but keeping me out of trouble was always your number one, wasn't it?"
He chuckled, but there was no joy in it. The tears were threatening to fall again, and Caleen wasn't sure he would be able to stop them this time.
"I don't know what to do," he whispered. "I've been going through the motions and the marriage battle was pushing me forward, but I'm just so tired." He paused. "Oh, by the way, we won. A man can marry a man." He brushed off a tear that escaped from the corner of his eye. "I thought I was only fighting for other people by the time I made the announcement, you know? But now that you're back, I'm marrying you as soon as you can stand up straight. I hope you're ready."
When the tears started falling, he stopped talking and hid his face in his arms resting on the edge of the bed.
He couldn't afford to fall apart right now. He needed to get it together, but the pressure in his chest was making it hard to breathe and he had to fight against it as thoughts ran through his head at a storm-wind speed. Taveris's lack of prognosis, Master Dorrat's departure, the strangers from the dragon council coming in, the security breach, Master Oriyan's sudden disappearance… When it all threatened to overwhelm him, finally one thought won over the rest.
Taveris is back. I'm not alone anymore.
"I need you to wake up," he whispered yet again, raising his head to look at Taveris. "I need you. I always told you that, but I didn't know— I didn't know, okay?" He wiped his face with his sleeve, probably making his childhood governess roll in her grave. "I have no idea what I'm doing without you. Maybe Master Dorrat is right, maybe it's one mistake after the other, but I can't see any other way. I needed the royal council to say yes. I needed that win. Nothing else was keeping me going, and I know you'd hate to hear me say it if you were awake, but that's the truth." He squeezed Taveris's fingers again. "Maybe that's what I should do, huh? Maybe I should annoy you into waking up. After all, no one else managed to get you angry quite as often as I did." Caleen rubbed his eyes to stop himself from crying any more. "Hook, I even missed our fights, and you know how much I hated them."
A few minutes later, he heard voices behind the door, and he straightened in his seat. With some luck, there would be no traces of his breakdown left on his face.
He stood up when the door opened and he watched Master Caderyan enter right before the headmaster, the elderly couple he'd seen before by the entrance, and Lord Dalon. Naveen was standing back with Soryan at the door, but when Caleen shook his head to let them now that it was fine, that he could handle it, his brother stayed outside.
After the introductions, the councilwoman, Pondriya, nodded at the bed.
"There are other things we need to discuss, but how about we check on Taveris first?"
Caleen turned to the head healer, who nodded, but it still didn't do much to calm him down. Then again, he knew that nothing really would, not until Taveris woke up. And if these people could somehow help…
"Of course," he finally said, motioning them to come closer.
Stepping back from Taveris was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.
I'm here, he repeated over and over in his head. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.