CHAPTER TEN
Taveris couldn't stop watching Caleen. No matter where they were—still in the infirmary, in the headmaster's office meeting his family, or in the dining hall where everyone seemed to want to say hi, even people he'd barely exchanged a few words with during his entire stay in the Academy—Taveris's gaze always traveled back to his bonded.
That part wasn't particularly different from what he was used to. After all, he'd been keeping track of Caleen since the day of their searching ceremony. What was unusual, though, was what he saw. Caleen seemed older and more exhausted than Taveris had ever seen him. He was also quiet and, when he thought no one was watching, he seemed somber in a way Taveris had rarely seen him.
It wasn't hard to guess why, of course. When Taveris learned he'd been believed dead for two months, Caleen's initial response was even more painful in retrospect. Until then, Taveris had thought he'd been unconscious for all this time, with Caleen keeping vigil by his side. Picturing how he would have fared if Caleen was the one in a coma was enough to make Taveris want to puke. But when he thought about going through what Caleen had really gone through… He couldn't even imagine it. Deep down inside him, there was a dark, twisted certainty that he wouldn't even be alive two months in.
"You okay?" Soryan asked him when they were sitting at a table in the dining hall, finally allowed to eat in peace. Taveris was half-listening to Caleen's conversation with Taveris's mother, sneaking glances at his bonded and catching him do the same. Caleen had his hand on Taveris's thigh under the table for the entire dinner, but he still seemed unable to stop checking if Taveris was there.
It hurt to watch, but Taveris didn't know how to explain it to Soryan.
As it turned out, he didn't have to.
"Wondering how bad it was for him isn't going to help you any," his friend said quietly.
"So it was very bad, then," Taveris guessed.
Soryan gave him a 'what do you think' look.
"He largely kept to himself, so only Naveen would be able to tell you anything more, but, as I said, I don't think you need any specifics. You being back is the best thing that could have happened to him, and he'll get better with time."
A part of Taveris wanted to know every detail, every little thing about Caleen he'd missed, but he knew better than to push. What he could imagine was already bad enough, anyway.
"How are you, though?" Soryan asked, pulling his attention again.
Taveris shrugged, not knowing what to tell him.
"Weird, mostly," he finally said. "Out of balance. Time moved differently for me, so it hasn't been that long, but—"
In one way, he felt like there was no pause between the day before their graduation ceremony and this morning when he'd woken up in the infirmary. In another, he'd relived years' worth of memories. How could he account for that?
"Looks like you both need time to adjust," Soryan said.
Taveris nodded. He wished they could lock themselves in their room for a few days and pretend the outside world didn't exist, so that they could get better before they had to deal with anything else, but after four years of being bonded to the prince heir of this kingdom, he knew better than to hope for that.
Lord Dalon had already tried to make them sit down with him today, but luckily, Caleen refused. Taveris was glad Master Dorrat was away or they would not have gotten off that easily.
It was still weird to think Master Oriyan was behind this whole plot. Sadly, Taveris had no recollection of the events of that day, so he couldn't give anybody any answers.
He finished his dinner and as soon as he put his fork down, Caleen squeezed his thigh.
"Are you ready to head out?" he asked quietly.
Was Taveris ready to get back to their room and be alone already?
"Yes."
Caleen smiled at him and Taveris's gaze fell onto his lips without thinking. They'd had no time to do anything more than kissing back before they'd opened the door to let the outside world in, and Taveris would be lying if he said he hadn't wished for more.
And that was before he even realized it had been over two months since they'd made love.
That just wasn't right.
Excusing themselves from the table thankfully didn't take long. Taveris promised his family they would meet them for breakfast tomorrow, and a few people stopped them on their way out to tell Taveris it was good to have him back, but then they were left alone. Or, as alone as they could be outside their room, at least. Taveris had tried to refuse a security escort, but Caleen was adamant they needed someone watching their backs and one look at his bonded convinced Taveris to shut his mouth and accept it.
After all, if their positions were reversed, he would want to keep Caleen under lock and key. Additional security was nothing in comparison.
Then, finally, they were back in their bedroom. Officially Taveris's room at the beginning, it was theirs the moment they walked in here for the first time. Caleen's room was for show and, when needed, for meetings with his advisors. This, here, was where they really lived.
And from the looks of it, nothing had changed since Taveris had been here before…everything. He inhaled sharply as the realization hit him.
It had been two months, and nothing had changed.
Caleen met his gaze with his chin poised high as if he was readying himself for a confrontation.
Hook, what happened to you? Taveris wanted to ask. What can I do?
Unable to find the right words, he decided not to use any. He tugged Caleen closer to the bed and started undressing him. He planned to do it slowly, but, as per usual, they derailed from that plan right away, pushing and pulling their clothes off until they were completely naked. Taveris guided Caleen down onto the mattress and followed him until Caleen was lying on his back in the middle of the bed with Taveris covering his body.
Their kiss wasn't gentle, either. It was more of a battle, two starved men trying to get more and more from each other. Taveris had never tired of kissing his bonded, finding Caleen's taste intoxicating to his senses. He also loved how eager Caleen was—he'd never responded with anything less than enthusiasm and passion. This time, though, it was like Caleen was trying to devour him. It brought Taveris back to their first kiss, the frantic, impatient need that drove them both to forget where they were and what they were supposed to do.
Maybe it was because he'd only recently relived that memory, but maybe it truly was like that once again.
They broke apart when Caleen couldn't catch his breath any longer. Taveris nosed his way along Caleen's jaw, then lowered his head to leave a line of kisses down his bonded's neck.
"Talk to me," Caleen whispered, tightening his grip on Taveris's nape and dragging his blunt nails along the edges of his scales.
"Hmm?" Taveris licked into the dip between Caleen's neck and shoulder before latching on there and sucking a mark. Caleen's skin had no traces of him, no fresh marks, no lingering scent. That needed fixing, now.
"Talk to me. Just—" Caleen spread his legs to give Taveris more room. "Anything."
Taveris hardly ever talked much, in bed or out of it, but what Caleen wanted, Caleen would get.
"I'm going to mark you," Taveris murmured. "I'm going to leave you covered in my marks tonight, like we haven't done in quite a while." He moved lower until he was breathing over Caleen's right nipple. "You good with that?"
"Hook, yes," Caleen whispered, one hand running up and down Taveris's back, the other buried in his hair. "I want it."
"Good." Taveris ran the tip of his tongue over Caleen's nipple, earning a sigh out of him. "That's good."
He kept his word. Slowly moving down Caleen's body, Taveris left a trail of small marks blooming against Caleen's light brown skin. He also kept up with the commentary and it worked to edge his mate on, judging from the way he arched into his touch. Caleen seemed to be melting, relaxing into the mattress, but his eyes never left Taveris, following him as he explored Caleen's body again.
It wasn't until Taveris bit Caleen's ankle gently, playfully, and Caleen barked out a short laugh that Taveris realized it was the first time he'd heard it today. He hadn't noticed it before, but now it felt jarring.
One more change they would have to work through, then.
"You okay?" Caleen nudged him with his toes against his neck.
Taveris caught his foot and slowly dragged his gaze up his mate's naked body. They were both hard since they hit the mattress, but after the initial impatience, neither was rushing this. They had time.
They had time.
"I'm more than okay," he whispered and kissed the arch of Caleen's foot before letting it go. He pulled up until he was leaning over his mate again and he dove in for another kiss.
Caleen hooked his legs over Taveris's hips and arched into him, pressing their erections together.
"Stretch me," he mouthed, lips brushing against Taveris's. Caleen's eyes were brighter from this close, the dim light hovering at the edges.
Taveris didn't need to be told twice. He poured lube on his hand and knelt between Caleen's spread legs, disentangling them from around his hips.
He ran his fingertips from the base of Caleen's cock down to his entrance. He wanted to slide his fingers right in, like he usually did, but he hesitated. It had been two months for Caleen. He was tighter than he usually was.
Taveris ignored the pang in his chest, storing it away for later. Now was not the time. He rubbed his finger around Caleen's entrance and then slowly pushed inside. He didn't pause until he was all the way in, and only then did he release the breath he'd been holding. Caleen clenched around his finger before relaxing and gave Taveris a slow smile. There was something soft about that smile, vulnerable in a way that lying naked and spread on the bed couldn't even touch.
Taveris's hand trembled and he had to close his eyes.
"Hey." Caleen's voice was no louder than before, but it seemed so in Taveris's head. "You okay?"
You okay? You okay? You okay?
How long were they going to ask each other that? When would it end?
"No," he breathed out, withdrawing his finger out of Caleen, pulling away completely and curling his hands over his thighs. Since he kept his gaze low, he heard more than he saw Caleen moving, until his mate was in front of him, reaching out slowly to circle his fingers around Taveris's wrists.
The familiar touch made him look up. For once, he didn't focus on the shadows under Caleen's eyes or the sharper lines of his face. He let himself fall into the familiar, warm gaze.
"I don't expect you to be." Caleen's words landed as a blow, and he almost pulled back. Almost. Because that warm gaze was keeping him in place even as his heart was pounding. "I'm not okay, either. I'm a mess, to be honest. If you are, too, that's okay."
It's not, Taveris wanted to tell him. It's not, precisely because you aren't.
They couldn't both be in bad shape at the same time. When one stumbled, the other was there to pick him up and hold him up until they were fine again. They were never… They were never like this at the same time. And Taveris knew who had suffered more, here.
It wasn't him.
Caleen shuffled a bit closer, until his knees were bracketing Taveris's thighs. One tug and he would land in Taveris's lap, but something stopped Taveris from pulling him in.
"Listen to me," Caleen went on, squeezing his wrists hard enough to hurt for a moment. "I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. We can talk about that. I'm sure you'll make me talk about how I'm feeling, too, after I stop crying every other hour." His lips twisted into a smile Taveris knew better than he'd ever wished to. It was Caleen's go-to tactic to deflect what he didn't want anyone to focus on. "But what's important is that we are together in this, okay? There's nothing we can't face together. You taught me that."
"No," Taveris whispered. "You taught me that."
This time, Caleen's small smile was real. "Fine. How about we taught each other?"
Taveris shrugged. He still thought his version was the right one, but there was no use arguing about it.
"Good enough," Caleen muttered. "Anyway, we both learned that. And trust me, after two months without you, I'll gladly face any and all obstacles with you. No matter what they are."
Taveris moved before his brain registered it. A moment later, he had Caleen plastered to his front and he tried to pull him even closer, pressing his hand over the bonding mark below Caleen's shoulder blade.
"I'm here," he whispered against his mate's ear. "I'm here and I promise you, I promise, I'm not going anywhere."
Caleen tightened his arms around Taveris's neck and nodded, his head pressed into Taveris's shoulder. He visibly shivered, making Taveris ran his other hand up and down his back.
"You're right," Taveris whispered, lips brushing against Caleen's earlobe. "You're right. We have the important part down. Everything else will fall into place."
Caleen pulled back a bit and caught Taveris's lips in another kiss.
They went from gentle to heated in a matter of seconds, the flame that died down while they talked reigniting with a vengeance. There was no finesse there, no taking their time. Caleen scratched along his scales and bit his shoulder as Taveris blindly searched for more lube, and then they kissed through the prep, Caleen pushing down to meet Taveris's fingers, impatient and unwilling to slow down. His body seemed to adjust to his will, too, because it quickly relaxed under Taveris's touch.
When Caleen finally sank down on his cock, Taveris moaned and tightened his grip on Caleen's hips. His heart was pounding against his ribs, and he was sweating, but what counted the most was the fire in Caleen's eyes, the same fire that spread between them as they moved together, falling into a rhythm that was as familiar as breathing. When they came, it was like a rolling wave that swept them off, high and higher still before tossing them out, panting and spent but lighter than they were before.
They were home.