CHAPTER NINE
The sun was shining right onto his face and Caleen frowned without opening his eyes. He was floating somewhere between sleep and being awake, not ready to face the day again. He rolled onto his back to escape the sunshine and finally opened his eyes.
The white ceiling. The hard mattress.
That was when he remembered.
He glanced to the side to see Taveris on the other bed, his face hidden in the shadow as he slept on.
Caleen had spent every moment they were alone yesterday projecting images to his companion, but to no effect. That little squint yesterday morning was the only sign so far that Taveris was still in there somewhere.
"Good morning," Caleen said out loud anyway, because he refused to let the doubt sink in. It would work, it just needed time.
"Why are you up so early," Taveris muttered, rolling onto his side towards Caleen, who froze half-way off his bed.
He watched Taveris's eyelids flutter open with his heart somewhere in his throat. It's happening. It's happening. It's—
Then he did the stupidest thing he could have done. As soon as he saw the brown eyes looking at him softly, he started crying.
He didn't do it quietly, either, oh, no. The sound that came out of his throat was more like an animal yowling for help.
Taveris was out of his bed in less than a second, but his legs must have given out under him, and he stumbled, falling back onto it.
"What is it, what's wrong?" he demanded in a raspy voice, reaching for Caleen and pulling him against his body, but, hook, Caleen couldn't stop crying. He was pressed against Taveris who was right here, alive and awake, and Caleen couldn't do anything other than bury his face into his bonded's neck as he shook in Taveris's arms.
He heard the door opening and hoped that whoever it was would pretend not to see him.
"Leave us, right now," Taveris ordered and a second later the door closed, and they were alone again.
Caleen fought to take a deep breath, needing to envelop himself in the scent of his bonded. His bonded, who was making shushing noises as he ran his hands up and down Caleen's back.
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," Taveris whispered, over and over. "I'm here, it's okay."
Caleen tightened his arms around Taveris's shoulders and tried to bring him even closer, but they were as close as they could get while still dressed. Taveris was half-sitting on the bed with Caleen cradled between his legs and pressed against his body from his thighs to the top of his head.
And yet, he still couldn't stop crying, even if he was at least quiet about it now.
"I promised you, didn't I?" Taveris said in a low, scratchy voice. "I'll always be at your side. I promised you."
Caleen curled his fingers in the material of Taveris's shirt, unable to find words.
"Will you let me look at you now?" Taveris asked gently, then sighed when Caleen shook his head without lifting it from where it was pressed in the crook of Taveris's neck. "Okay, I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere."
Caleen had no idea how long they stood like this, with him falling apart and Taveris rubbing his back and whispering assurances. Every time Caleen thought that he was done, that he was all cried out, Taveris's touch or a gentle word threw him back into it.
Two months. Two months without any of this, thinking he would never get to have it ever again.
He pinched his hand behind Taveris's back to make sure he was really awake, but he still wasn't ready to pull back in case he wasn't.
Just in case.
"I'm not complaining, I can stay like this for however long it takes," Taveris whispered, breathing hotly against his ear. "But when you're ready, I would really, really like to kiss you."
And that was it. Once the words were out, there was no way Caleen would not pull away, not tilt his head just so and press his lips against Taveris's.
They both shuddered at the touch, and the familiar current of want rushed through Caleen. His knees were weak, and he was exhausted, but one kiss from his bonded and he was ready for anything.
It was Taveris who drew back and pressed their foreheads together.
"Hey, love," he whispered.
Caleen's throat closed up. Taveris rarely called him that, but when he did, it always made all the air escape from Caleen's chest.
"Welcome back," he croaked finally.
Taveris brushed his thumbs over Caleen's cheeks. "It's so good to see you."
Hook, he was going to start crying again. "Look who's talking," he managed to whisper back, making Taveris chuckle.
They fell silent after that, holding each other. Caleen tried not to blink as he took Taveris in, pulling back only far enough to see him better. He brought his hands to his bonded's face, touching him everywhere, running his fingers over his brows, and cheeks, and lips, tracing the lines of his jaw with his thumbs, like he always loved to do.
And Taveris let him. He circled his arms around Caleen's waist and seemed content with just staring at him, silent and unmoving, as Caleen remapped his face.
"I love you," Caleen whispered at some point and Taveris smiled at him with that gentle smile he never gave anyone else.
"I love you, too."
Caleen bit the inside of his cheek as his heart seemed to burst in his chest. So many little moments he'd thought he'd never have again.
The time seemed to stop as they stayed like this, neither of them willing to let go.
At some point, though, there was a knock on the door.
"Don't come in," Taveris spoke in a raised voice, his tone direct like the command he gave out earlier when he ordered someone out.
"We have to let them in at some point," Caleen said, not happy about it but resigned to it all the same. He took a step back. "The healers need to check you out."
Taveris seemed like he was about to protest, but whatever he saw on Caleen's face made him close his mouth and nod.
"Okay, then," Caleen muttered before turning to the door and speaking loudly. "Come in."
He expected the headmaster or the head healer, most likely both, but it was Soryan and Naveen who came in first. Soryan crossed the room and pulled Taveris into a hug without uttering a word, and Caleen instantly felt bad for keeping them away until now.
Naveen distracted him, pulling him into a hug as well, but before he could say anything, the headmaster stepped into the room, followed by the head healer.
"Taveris," the headmaster said, voice laden with relief. "It's so good to have you with us again."
He shook Taveris's hand once Soryan let him go.
"Thank you, sir. It's good to see you, too."
"We sent word to your family yesterday, so they should be here any moment."
Caleen froze. He'd completely forgotten about Taveris's family, hadn't thought about them at all. Hook. They should have been his first thought after Taveris, but… Well, he hadn't had room for much thought other than Taveris ever since they'd found him.
Taveris pulled him close again until Caleen was pressed along his side. It was an unusual show for him while in company, but definitely a welcomed one.
Maybe they needed to change some things about the way they usually acted in public now that they could.
"I look forward to seeing them again," Taveris told the headmaster.
"I need to examine the patient," the head healer cut in. He wasn't as gentle as the last time Caleen had talked to him, but the situation was vastly different now, too. Thank the sand and sea.
The group dispersed further away from the beds, but with Taveris's permission no one left since the exam wasn't invasive in any way.
"Everything seems fine," Master Caderyan announced at last, "but I want to see you every day for at least a week, to make sure nothing is changing. No stress, no training, and no leaving the Academy."
Taveris, who normally hated any fuss, didn't even blink. "Of course."
"We don't have to stay in the infirmary, though?" Caleen asked. He would move in here if it was better for Taveris, but he longed to have them back in their rooms. Back to normal.
"No." The head healer glanced between the two of them. "I know patients usually want to go back to their space as soon as possible and I see no reason against it. As long as you adhere to my suggestions, you're free to go."
Caleen grinned and leaned harder against his companion. "Perfect. Thank you."
"We have things to discuss first, though," the headmaster cut in, sounding apologetic but firm. "There's an entire school eager to welcome you back, Taveris. There's the matter of the public announcement, too. So far, we kept things as quiet as possible, but it's a matter of days, if not hours, before the press finds out. And we should send notice to the king, too, before that happens." He turned to Caleen. "Whatever way works for you best, of course."
Caleen didn't want to think about his father at all, if possible, but he knew it couldn't be helped. And refusing to be the one to write the note was out of the question. No matter how supportive people around him might be, there were things one didn't show. The divide between him and the king had gotten enough attention already over the last several weeks.
"I'll write a message to the king while you prepare the official announcement and we can discuss it before sending the mail out," he suggested before looking at his bonded. "The matter of welcoming you back here is entirely up to you."
Taveris grimaced, obviously uncomfortable.
"I would prefer not to have to do it at all, but I understand it's not really something I can avoid. How about, if we feel up to it, we just come down to the dining hall for dinner and people can see me there? Whoever wants to say hello is welcome to do so. Within reason," he added dryly, prompting Caleen to chuckle. He could already imagine how much Taveris was going to hate the attention.
Speaking of food, though.
"Are you hungry now?" he asked his companion.
"I am, actually. I'm starving." Taveris leaned closer so that their foreheads were almost touching. "How about you?"
"I would eat, yes."
Caleen realized in that moment that he hadn't felt hungry at all in months. He'd had no appetite to speak of and only ate when he had to, when someone pushed the food in front of him. Now, he actually wanted to eat.
It was quickly decided that they would have their breakfast brought in here and only after that go back to their rooms. Taveris seemed fine—amazing, even, given the situation—but Caleen would need more time to trust that his bonded was truly okay, physically and mentally, so he appreciated having Master Caderyan close for a while longer.
Still, he sighed when he and Taveris were left alone again once the food came. Caleen knew it was selfish, knew that more people needed to see Taveris healthy and alive, but he needed that time with just his bonded.
Thankfully, Taveris seemed like he needed it, too.
He pulled Caleen with him until they were sitting on the bed, pressed so closely together that Caleen was pretty much in Taveris's lap. They ate slowly, stopping for kisses every once in a while.
Once they were done, Caleen put the food tray to the side and hid his face in his bonded's neck again.
"You have no idea how good it feels right now," he whispered before closing his eyes.
Taveris circled his arms tight around Caleen's waist. "I think I might."
"Doubt that," Caleen muttered, swallowing hard against the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He didn't want to start crying again, preferring to enjoy his time with his bonded.
Because they had time now.
A shiver ran down Caleen's back and Taveris kissed the top of his head before pulling away to meet his gaze.
"You okay?" he whispered, and Caleen's go-to answer of 'I'm fine' couldn't get past his lips.
"I will be," he finally said and watched Taveris's warm eyes turn stormy for a second. "I will be," he repeated quietly. "I promise."
Taveris pushed them down until they were both lying on their sides.
"You don't have to promise me that. You can be not-okay for as long as you need. I'll be here to support you, okay? I'll be here."
Caleen swallowed against his tight throat. He had to stop reacting like this to Taveris's promises to stay, but he might need some more time to be able to do that. Right now, his heart was like an open wound, and it was easy to throw him over the edge.
"You being here is the best way to make me feel better," he finally said, then tried to lighten the mood. "Be prepared to have me glued to your side for the foreseeable future, all the time. Bathroom breaks are up for discussion."
Taveris put his hand against the side of Caleen's face.
"No one will drag me away from you ever again," he said, and it sounded like a promise. A vow.
"Okay," Caleen whispered, desperately needing to believe that. "Okay."