CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Taveris wished he could take his bonded far away, lock them in their room again and stay inside until… Until the end of time, would be his current preference. This world didn't deserve Caleen. It just continued to break his heart over and over again.
When they got back to the group waiting in the meeting office, it was silent and tense. Garyan was in his seat and his face gave away nothing. Naveen seemed stunned but he had his hand clasped on his companion's wrist, holding on.
And Soryan was… He had his head lowered and Taveris wondered what was going through his mind. Soryan had always respected Master Dorrat a great deal. He might not want to believe it, either.
But he lifted his head and looked at Taveris straight on, pinning him to the spot.
"You remembered him," Soryan said, not asked, and Taveris wished he didn't have to be the bearer of such news. While Garyan had put the blame on Master Dorrat's shoulders first, adding to it still wasn't easy.
"Yes."
He held his breath after that, because what if Soryan didn't— What if his word wasn't enough?
Soryan closed his eyes briefly. The resignation was clear in the slump of his shoulders and the jut of his jaw, and if Taveris wasn't ready to kill Master Dorrat on the spot for what he did to Caleen already, he would be now, for what the man had done to his best friend.
Then Naveen spoke up, bewildered, giving voice to the question they were all thinking about.
"But why?"
Caleen met Garyan's gaze. "Do you know?"
"No, Your Highness, I do not. He refused to tell us anything."
Taveris watched his bonded, who gave a miniscule nod. He was, once again, every bit the future king, unflappable and void of emotions.
"Why did you come here?" he asked Garyan next.
"I wanted to give you the news in person. I didn't think a letter would be…appropriate."
The letter would have been completely ignored, or worse, it would create conflict and start something that nobody needed. As it was, if Taveris's memory hadn't come back, they still would have struggled to believe it.
"I know who you are to…the Dracon House community," Caleen went on, the pause barely noticeable, but Taveris hadn't missed it.
Nor had Garyan.
"We assumed you might," he said, inclining his head. "We thought that me coming here would serve to show how seriously we take the situation. We also assumed that, if you were to struggle believing us and perhaps suspect foul play, I would provide…reassurance. I am to stay here until you, or whoever you chose, travel safely to and back from Kameeya."
Taveris barely kept his face from showing his surprise. This was a tremendous show of trust. Garyan basically surrendered himself to be held hostage in the palace, even if they would all carefully avoid calling it that.
"I am humbled by the ways you and your community put your trust in me and this kingdom," Caleen said.
"We have been watching you, Your Highness, and you have earned it. We are only sorry that some chose to abuse the trust you put in your people."
Caleen thanked him again, then excused himself to arrange a proper escort for Garyan, leaving the rest of them to sit there in tense silence.
It seemed like they were all out of words.
After half an hour—which seemed like forever to Taveris once he realized he was back to handling even brief separation from his bonded badly—Caleen returned with two guards who were tasked with taking Garyan to a guest room he would be staying in. And with making sure he wouldn't leave, but that part went unsaid.
Once Garyan finally left with his escort, Caleen closed the door behind them and slumped against the wall.
Taveris wanted to cross the room and take him in his arms, just like he saw Naveen do with Soryan on the settee.
Caleen's next words stopped him where he stood, though.
"I need to notify the King."
As if the things weren't bad enough already.
* * *
Taveris watched his bonded staring through the window of a small, private meeting room as they waited to be joined by the king away from the prying eyes of all the visitors.
He could only imagine what was going through Caleen's mind—one that seemed so brilliant so often but could also be brutal when it came to self-reflection.
Taveris wished once again that he could pull him into his arms but restrained himself as they could be interrupted at any moment. Still, he stood by Caleen and took his hand in both of his, tugging gently to make his bonded face him.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
Caleen shook his head. "Nothing."
Taveris raised his eyebrows and his bonded huffed without humor.
"Fine, then." Caleen stared at their joined hands before finally meeting his gaze. "Everything."
"That's more like it," Taveris told him. His voice sounded dry, but he was honestly glad they were at least heading in the right direction now. "Anything in particular you're ruminating over?"
At first, it looked like Caleen would just shrug and leave him with no answer, but finally, he opened his mouth.
"I don't know why he did what he did. Or what I'll do when I see him." He ran his teeth over his lower lip, pulling it into his mouth. "I don't know how I'm going to face my father, either."
Taveris tightened his grip for a moment. "You faced him with harder things than this."
It was true. Caleen had always confronted his father head on, even when Taveris had known that deep down, his bonded had been terrified. Watching again and again as he tried to prepare himself for rejection was painful, but Caleen had never backed down.
And this time around, the security of the kingdom was at stake. The king couldn't ignore the threat to the throne and the betrayal of the prince heir's confidant.
"It's different now," Caleen whispered and turned towards the window again, but Taveris caught his face in his palm and coaxed Caleen back towards him.
"What is?"
Caleen kept his gaze low. "I don't know if I can face him with this."
"Why not?"
This time the silence was more pointed, and Taveris scrambled for things to say, but he came up empty. He hated the guessing game, because he always felt like he was giving Caleen more ammunition to beat himself up with before he landed on the right thing. This time, every possible scenario was too much to take a risk on.
"For a while, I thought it might have been him." Caleen's whisper was barely audible and only confused Taveris further. "That he might be the one who—arranged your death."
Taveris's breath caught in his chest as the words hit him. Hook.
Hook it all.
"I've never told anyone," Caleen went on. "I'm glad I never told Master Dorrat, since he might have encouraged it." He closed his eyes but not before Taveris saw the pain there. "When I left the Academy to speak to the royal council, I did it partially so that I could face him. I thought that if I looked him in the eye, I'd know if it had been him. And it worked. He was who he always is, but I could tell he had nothing to do with this. I was relieved, of course, but now I feel…" He took a shuddering breath. "How do you come back from that?"
Taveris didn't have an answer. He rarely did, when it came to the relationship between Caleen and his father. More than once, he'd wished he could give the man a piece of his mind, tell him off for treating Caleen so poorly. In the end, he never had. He'd just made sure to be there to pick up the pieces afterward.
And he had been—all but once.
"You were mourning and searching for answers," he finally said now, leaning lower to catch Caleen's gaze. "I can only imagine how painful it was to consider."
Caleen curled his fingers over Taveris's wrist and gripped it tightly.
"What kind of son thinks like this about his own father?"
"One that was hurt by him, over and over again."
Caleen closed his eyes and tightened the grip around Taveris's wrist even harder.
"He was innocent in this, though, and I accused him—"
"Did you?" Taveris interrupted. "Did you accuse him, to his face or publicly?" At Caleen's shake of head, he nodded. "Exactly. You thought about it, but you didn't jump on it and start making accusations."
"Well, thinking alone was bad enough."
Taveris put his forehead against Caleen's. "If he was a different father, you wouldn't have."
"I suspected an innocent man, my own father no less, while never even considering the one who actually did it," Caleen whispered. "What does that say about me?"
"That you made a mistake, like everyone else does. And did," Taveris added. Nobody had expected it to be Master Dorrat, after all.
Caleen closed his eyes again. "I hate this," he admitted quietly.
"Yeah." Taveris brushed his thumb over his bonded's neck and inhaled their scent together. "I know."
* * *
Taveris watched the king carefully as Caleen spoke. He noted when the man tensed, when he got angry, when he opened his mouth a few times, wanting to cut in but in the end deciding not to. And there was truth in all of it, just like Caleen had said.
Because it wasn't just his bonded who had wondered. Taveris didn't have as much time to think about it as Caleen had, but he'd had enough. Master Oriyan being behind all this had never felt like a complete answer and, lacking any serious guesses, Taveris had considered the king. Not for long, but the thought had crossed his mind.
Luckily, while sitting here now was difficult, the king took the matter seriously and ordered the guard by the door to go inform one of the advisors they needed to gather the royal council for emergency meeting as soon and as quietly as possible.
When the man left and it was just the three of them again, Caleen exhaled slowly. Taveris heard the slight tremble there, but he knew no human could.
"Thank you for this," Caleen offered.
The king watched him for a long moment before nodding.
"This is a matter of security, for you and the kingdom as a whole. Of course I am not going to ignore it." He paused. "You did what you were supposed to do, coming to me. This is how things are handled, and you know it."
"I know."
The two of them stared at each other some more and then the king spoke up again.
"There are times I may not like your choices, and I may never accept some of them, but I'd never stand back and let you get killed for them." He glanced at Taveris, who realized that he couldn't remember the last time the king had actually looked him in the eye. It had to have been years. Now, they regarded each other as two men who knew there was no love lost between them, but Taveris also saw something like resolve—they had been brought together by life and there was no going back from that. Then, the king turned his gaze back to his son. "Or him."
He knew, Taveris realized. The king knew, or at least suspected, that Caleen had been wondering about his role in all this.
Taveris was curious if it had shaken the man at all, if it had made him think twice about himself as a father. Perhaps yes, perhaps not. On one hand, he had backed the council's decision on the marriage issue and now offered them help without question. On the other, basic decency was not much to go on when looking for serious change.
"I'm glad to hear that," Caleen said, inclining his head. "We won't always see eye to eye on issues, but there are ways to resolve that. This, I'm afraid, we wouldn't be able to get past."
The king nodded without saying anything else, and then he got up—a clear sign that the meeting was over, and it was time for Caleen and Taveris to go to their room to await the council meeting or the dinner, whichever came first.
Taveris waited until they were behind a closed door to pull Caleen into his arms and hold him against his chest. His bonded slumped into his embrace and circled his arms around Taveris's waist with a sigh.
It was far from over, but maybe it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
* * *
The royal council gathered in less than an hour, which meant that Taveris had to watch Caleen disappear behind the big door with a bunch of people that all had the ability to tear him down. Sure, the king's earlier words made it clear Caleen wasn't facing any imminent danger, but Taveris had come to the palace a few times too many not to know that people here could hurt his bonded in many different ways, none of them physical.
Still, the royal council was for human members only and no one else, not even their companions, were allowed inside. Taveris glanced at Rayell, the king's companion, standing guard by one side of the door when there was a simple guard by the other. Rayell had a blank expression on his face, staring right ahead. Taveris had never exchanged more than a few words with the man, although he'd wondered from time to time how the king's companion fared in the palace.
He leaned against the wall opposite to the door and settled in for the long wait. Caleen had suggested Taveris could take a walk on the grounds while he was meeting with the council, but quickly shut up after Taveris made a face that apparently represented correctly how very much not into the idea he was. Even if Dorrat had been captured, Taveris was going to be even more protective than usual until the matter was dealt with. So for now this, right here, was as far from each other as he and Caleen were going to get.
It was barely a few minutes after the royal council had started their meeting when the queen appeared at the end of the corridor. Taveris, as well as both men by the door, stood up straighter at the sight.
When she paused by Taveris's side, she watched him for the longest time and offered him a smile. It was a polite one, but still seemed sincere.
"I was glad to hear the news about your return," she told him, voice low as if to stop anyone from overhearing, but after so many years, she had to know Rayell was able to hear her easily like this. And so could every other dragon around. "I feel like that should have been the first thing to say, but we were all distracted. I apologize."
"Nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty," Taveris assured her. Just like with the king, he hadn't expected anything from her, either. While she might be more accepting of her sons than her husband was, she still did less than Taveris thought she should. Caleen and Naveen were both biased, for obvious reasons, but Taveris knew Soryan agreed with him.
Now, though, was the first time he had ever talked to the queen alone, and he had no idea what to say to her. Or rather, what he could say to her without turning it into a list of her failings as a mother.
"Are there any long-term consequences to your health?" she asked.
"No, Ma'am. Whatever it was, it seems to be completely out of my system, and all my tests have been good."
"Good. That's good. I can only imagine what Caleen was going through."
Taveris tensed all over, willing himself not to show anything. She could only imagine what her son had been going through after losing his bonded because she hadn't been there. She had left the Academy as soon as she could and hadn't done anything to help him during all that time.
A part of Taveris wanted to throw it in her face and demand better for Caleen, but he knew it wouldn't accomplish anything.
"He is the strongest person I know," he said instead. It was a different truth, but truth, nevertheless.
"He always has been," the queen admitted quietly, glancing from him to the door and back. "It scared me sometimes, to be honest."
Taveris ached, but not for her. He ached for the boy Caleen had been, the one who had learned to always be strong because there was no alternative. Someone the adults around him had left to his own designs, expecting him to handle everything. Taveris had seen it numerous times over the years—Caleen always getting up after the life knocked him down. Always finding the will to go on, and to go on with his head held high.
Even when, as he'd told Taveris, he'd wanted nothing else but to curl into a ball in bed and stay there forever, he still got up, got dressed, did something. Taveris admired that in his bonded, but at the same time, he wished Caleen didn't have to do that.
So he promised himself, as he had many times over the years, that he would continue to be that person for Caleen. One to take him away from the edge, one to have his back no matter what, one to be there when he fell apart from carrying all the weight of the world on his shoulders.