CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
"Is there any way that I can talk you out of going to see him?" Taveris asked, coming behind Caleen and circling his arms around his waist to pull him against his body.
Caleen rested his head against Taveris's shoulder as he looked out at the palace grounds. He'd gone through the similar conversation first with the king, then with the royal council. Taveris held back for longer than Caleen had assumed he would.
"You know the answer to that," he told his bonded now, closing his eyes and enjoying the contact.
He'd gotten used to it, before. He'd taken it for granted. Not anymore.
Taveris tightened his hold. "I was hoping you may surprise me."
"Not this time, sorry."
He needed to face Master Dorrat and he wasn't going to wait until the royal guard could bring him to the palace to be sentenced.
"I figured." Taveris put his chin on the top of Caleen's head. "It's not going to help, though. You know that, right?"
"It's not about forgiving him, if that's what you mean. There's no explanation that would make any of it right." Caleen bit his lower lip. "I'm not fooling myself. I just… I have to look him in the eye. I have to hear what he has to say."
The irony of it, the similarity to how he'd felt when he'd gone to seek out his father while Taveris was gone, was a heavy weight in his stomach.
He'd gotten it all wrong. He'd trusted the wrong person.
Still, he had no choice but to live with it now.
"You know you don't—" Caleen started, but Taveris didn't let him finish.
"There's no way. I may not want to see him, but you going there with anyone else is out of the question." He tightened his grip around Caleen again. "He has nothing left to lose."
"You think he will try to hurt me?"
Caleen hadn't even considered that Master Dorrat would attempt to attack him physically. He wanted to protest, but then again... It wouldn't be the first thing he'd gotten wrong about the man, would it?
"I think he won't, but that's based on what I thought I knew about him," Taveris said. "A man with nothing left to lose is—"
"—the most dangerous of them all, I know, I know." Caleen put his hand over Taveris's forearm. "I guess I still can't really picture him as the bad guy," he admitted quietly.
There had been many times in Caleen's life when being the prince heir was the opposite of a blessing. When the costs and the consequences had seemed too much to bear. A number of them had happened during the last few months, including this—the sick realization that he was, and had been for who-knew-how-long, a pawn in someone else's game.
Caleen as a person had never mattered to Master Dorrat, and it was a blow he still didn't know what to do with.
"Of course you can't picture it," Taveris whispered. "It's hard for me, too, and I wasn't nearly as close to him as you were."
Caleen tilted his head up and kissed the underside of Taveris's jaw.
"There are many reasons why I'm lucky to have you, but one of them is that you obviously have a better sense about whom to trust than I do."
"He fooled us all, okay? It's not just you."
"None of you spent so much time with him. None of you thought—" He stopped himself in time, but Taveris's sigh told him he knew what Caleen was about to say.
"You have the worst luck with father figures, that's true." Taveris kissed the top of his head. "You make up for it with the best luck in the companion department, though."
Caleen chuckled at that. "You're absolutely right." He turned in Taveris's arms and pulled him down for a kiss. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."
With his bonded by his side, he could face anything. He had to remember that.
* * *
They considered disguising it as an official trip to Kameeya, but it would have drawn too much attention to something they were trying to keep quiet—especially since the king insisted on additional security to accompany them.
So in the end, they flew, leaving the palace before dawn and hoping to return late at night. It was going to be physically demanding for all dragons involved to cover the distance twice in the same day, but everyone had agreed that it was still their best option from the security and the secrecy perspectives.
Caleen had never flown for longer than two hours before, and once they landed, he stumbled getting down from Taveris's back as his muscles protested. The flight had been amazing, though, especially the free-flowing connection between him and his bonded.
Taveris had to have thought the same thing because the moment Caleen was on his own feet, he changed forms and pulled Caleen to him for a hard, hungry kiss.
When they parted, breathing harshly, a movement to his left brought Caleen sharply to the present.
Hook.
The glance around showed him that the dragons accompanying the two of them had turned their backs to them, surrounding them in a circle as they… Well.
"I'll never get over how a kiss can still make you blush," Taveris whispered right into his ear and Caleen had to fight not to shiver and curl closer in his arms.
They weren't in their rooms, they weren't alone, they were—
His body grew cold as he remembered where they were and why.
He pulled back.
"Are you ready?" Taveris whispered, any trace of teasing gone from his voice.
No, Caleen thought, staring at the Dracon House gates. Definitely not. But it didn't matter much, did it?
"As much as I'll ever be," he finally said.
"Come on, then. Let's get this over with."
Whoever guarded the gates had to have alerted the Elder Brother of their arrival, because he was there waiting for them as they entered the Dracon House grounds. Even if Caleen didn't know what he looked like, the dark robes would give him away.
"Your Highness." He stepped closer and inclined his head. "My name is Naryell and on behalf of our community, I'd like to welcome you to our home. We are pleased to host you within our walls, though we do not rejoice in the reason for your arrival."
"Greetings to you and yours, Elder Brother." Caleen inclined his head as well, and he could see Taveris doing the same, followed by other dragons in their delegation. "Thank you for your hospitality and for the assistance in this difficult matter."
"We are happy to be of service, Your Highness. I assure you, we never wanted to act against you in any way. We believed Master Dorrat to be trustworthy."
"So did I," Caleen admitted. "I cannot fault you for what I myself missed. And do not worry, Brother Garyan explained the situation from your end. Although I might not have been the most gracious upon first hearing it, I have no reason not to believe it now."
"That is what we were hoping for. Now, we would invite you to a meal, but I imagine time is of essence. If you would prefer to see Master Dorrat first, we may take you there right away."
There was no way Caleen would be able to sit down to eat, knowing the answers were so close. He couldn't wait any longer and he appreciated that the Elder Brother didn't insist on protocol.
"I would prefer to see him first, if you do not mind."
The Elder Brother nodded as if he expected nothing else. "Very well. Follow me, then."
Caleen had a chance to see the enormous building from above as they were flying in, but from the ground, it appeared even bigger. He couldn't focus on taking in the sights, though, because as the Elder Brother led them through the side corridors, Caleen needed to remind himself to breathe.
He was here to get his answers, but a part of him didn't want to know, because no answer would ever be good enough.
Not for this. Not for Taveris.
As they descended to what the Elder Brother told them were the arrest quarters, a weird calm settled over Caleen, muting all the emotions and relaxing the knots in his stomach.
It all seemed like nothing now. Like he went for a walk and not to confront a man who betrayed him in the worst way.
Finally, the Elder Brother paused by a door and motioned for them to move forward with one of the guards as he took a crossbow from another.
"After you."
Caleen noticed Master Dorrat as soon as they entered. He was crouching against the wall of his cell, right below the window.
And still, Caleen felt nothing.
Master Dorrat stood up and as he took a few steps closer, Taveris immediately moved to shield Caleen, even though there were heavy bars between them and an armed guard at their side.
"I imagine it may not sound truthful coming from me now, but it's good to see you in good health," Master Dorrat told Taveris.
Something cold and biting rushed through Caleen, but he was still calm when he said, "You imagine correctly."
Master Dorrat met his gaze then and Caleen wondered what it was that he'd missed over all these years. He'd expected to see something in Master Dorrat's eyes that would give him any kind of answer, but there was nothing. It was the same look he'd given Caleen whenever he'd had to make a hard decision. You're the Prince Heir, it seemed to say. You need to think bigger than just you and what you want.
It was also the look that always told him, You can do it. You have the ability, you just need to do it.
"I knew you'd come," Master Dorrat said now and Caleen narrowed his eyes.
Was he deliberately taunting him?
"Of course I came." Caleen tilted his head up. "I learned to always look my enemy in the eye."
He almost said You taught me that, but the words couldn't pass his mouth.
Master Dorrat put his hands in his pockets. If it were anyone else, Caleen would see it as nonchalant, but he knew that for his advisor, it was a sign of being thrown off balance.
"So I'm the enemy now."
Caleen held back a snort.
"Don't tell me you're surprised by that," he said. "You knew what you were doing. What side you were choosing."
Master Dorrat tilted his head to the side. "Do you know what I was doing?"
Other than betraying me and hurting my bonded?
"I want to hear it from you." His voice seemed weirdly calm in comparison to the storm inside him. "I want to know why."
"What do you think?" Master Dorrat pressed, and Caleen curled his hands into fists.
"I think it's related to the marriage issue," he gritted out, no longer so calm and collected. "But I don't know why. We were getting it done, we would—"
"It wouldn't have worked." Master Dorrat cut in. "Not like you imagined it to."
"You don't know that."
"Neither do you. And I couldn't stomach the risk."
"You couldn't stomach the risk?" Caleen wasn't even trying to hide the disbelief. "I was the one staking everything on this and you couldn't stomach it? Why?"
"Because this was the only thing I had left," Master Dorrat spat out. "For years, I wanted justice. I wanted equality. And now it was this close, and I needed to make sure."
Caleen couldn't believe this. Master Dorrat had never fought against his plan, which, sure, was an endorsement in itself because he'd complained about every other of what he called Caleen's 'risky' ideas. But he also never let on how important this cause was to him personally.
Caleen inhaled sharply as the thought struck him, a long-forgotten memory bringing back the old hurt.
"You told me once that I'm both the best and the worst chance for it to pass through," he whispered. He felt Taveris tense by his side, but he couldn't look away from Master Dorrat now. "So you needed me, but you didn't need my marriage," he said slowly, throat tight. "And if Taveris were to disappear at the eve of the announcement…"
"You would be a mourning prince everyone would pity," Master Dorrat finished for him. "People love to shake their heads at the sad story. They think they're better than they truly are when they feel sorry for someone."
Taveris was gripping his arm hard enough to hurt, but Caleen needed that pain. It was making it easier to breathe.
"You didn't believe we could win by me being happy, so you made sure I wasn't," he said quietly, willing his body not to start shaking or he wouldn't be able to stop. "Who is it?" he asked next. "Who did you do all of this for?
Because it was the only logical option, wasn't it? There had to be someone in Master Dorrat's life, someone he loved and wanted to marry.
Caleen had never noticed anyone around Master Dorrat, but then again, he hadn't noticed a lot of things about the man.
For the first time since they entered, Master Dorrat turned away from them.
"Xias. His name was Xias," he admitted, facing the window. "I met him at the second searching ceremony I attended."
Caleen's stomach tensed. If Master Dorrat had a living companion, he wouldn't have hidden him. Everyone at the Academy would know. Which meant…
"It was love at first sight," Master Dorrat went on, "and his parents realized it right away. They made up some excuse and demanded he returned home with them."
Hook. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Once a man entered the Academy, he was there to stay.
"I begged him not to go," Master Dorrat said. "He could've stayed in the Academy and his family wouldn't be able to touch him there. He was of age and free—or so I thought. He thought different. He felt he couldn't go against his family. Their pull on him was stronger than anything else." His voice got quieter as he went. "I was certain that they must have threatened him with something, but he refused to talk about it. He promised he would come back. It was the first lie he'd ever told me." He paused. "And the last."
The silence that fell was making it hard to breathe.
"What happened to him?" Caleen whispered.
This time, when their gazes met, there was fire in Master Dorrat's eyes Caleen had never seen before.
"They killed him."
It was a good thing that Caleen had suspected what the answer was going to be, or else he would've lost it now.
Don't show surprise, don't show fear. He needed to remember he wasn't talking with a friend right now. Quite the opposite.
"They said it was an accident, of course," Master Dorrat went on, voice turning hard and biting. "Because it's perfectly normal for someone to fall from the tower of his family house."
He'd jumped, then. Caleen felt a pang of loss at the thought. Regardless of Master Dorrat's actions, Xias had been an innocent boy, his only crime being a love for another boy. Caleen would never not mourn a senseless, cruel death like that.
"How did they die?" Taveris asked from his side and when Caleen glanced at him, his bonded was staring right at Master Dorrat.
Apparently, the man didn't mind confessing to all his crimes now.
"I locked them all in that house and set it on fire a few months after they buried him."
Caleen closed his eyes for a second, but it was enough for Master Dorrat to notice.
"You can fault me for a lot, but you can't fault me for that," he said.
"I can fault you for whatever I want," Caleen told him, voice tight and low. "Grief doesn't give you permission to do anything you wish."
"Doesn't it?" Master Dorrat took a step closer, and Caleen felt something inside of him snap.
"No, it doesn't. Because of you, I learned a lot about grief lately. And I know what it isn't."
Master Dorrat snorted. "How noble of you."
"Didn't you need me noble?"
The words fell out of Caleen's mouth without his conscious thought as he stepped closer to the bars, making both Taveris and the guard move closer as well.
"Didn't you?" Caleen went on. "For your plan to work, I had to do the right thing. I couldn't go on a killing spree, I couldn't decide to turn against the world."
"You have me there," Master Dorrat said. "But then again, I've known for years that you were different from me."
"Thank the sand and sea," Caleen told him.
"Indeed."
"You couldn't have known that when you applied to be my advisor, though."
"Of course not. But I didn't have a plan back then."
Caleen nodded. It made sense, at least. The man had obviously played a long game, but he couldn't have accounted for it all.
"Then why did you do it?"
"Being an advisor to the prince heir was a chance for me to be in the thick of things. A long time ago, I thought the Academy alone would be good for that, but it wasn't. No one was willing to step up and fight for us."
"Us?"
"Men loving men, own-preferring, take your pick. I grew tired of seeing the same things over and over. The audacity of humans who were fine with loving their companions behind closed doors, but not out there in the open. It was an affront to all dragons. We're good for fighting, we're good when you need us for something, but we're never equal."
"It wasn't only a human-dragon issue, though," Caleen pointed out, but Master Dorrat just shrugged.
"I didn't much care about human couples. It's not the same without a bond."
Caleen swallowed down a comment about how it was Master Dorrat who apparently didn't see humans and dragons as equals. There was no use antagonizing him, not if Caleen wanted to learn more.
"So you thought becoming my advisor would help you push things forward," he said instead.
Master Dorrat nodded. "Then I got to know you better and realized you were perfect for this. You wanted what I wanted, and you were willing to fight for it. I didn't need to do much, in the end."
That felt like a physical blow.
"You didn't need to attack my bonded, either."
"That's where you're wrong."
"No, you were wrong, but you can never admit it, can you?" Caleen told him, words spilling out of him now. "You're smart, that's true, but you weren't always right. Certainly not about this. You were just impatient and cruel."
"I did what had to be done. For what it's worth, I never enjoyed your suffering."
Caleen snorted. "It's worth nothing. You knew what you were doing, and you still feel you were justified. What now, though? When it's you who's going to suffer? When you only have a life sentence to look forward to?"
Master Dorrat glanced to the side before meeting Caleen's gaze again.
"I have something else in mind."
With that, he rushed forward.