Chapter Fifteen #2
After Troy’s teenage years of stress and fear, of whispered resentment that she’d let him deal with far too much, far too young, he’d have thought when this moment came, his anger would finally erupt.
But he was alive and rescued and holding her hand, solid and warm and real, and that was what mattered now. “Of course I forgive you. It’s done. Neither of us can go back. We need to go forward. We have a second chance.”
With a sob, she took his face in her hands and kissed him. “A second chance. No more pretending. Never again.”
Heart thumping, Troy nodded. No more pretending. He had to see Brian. They had to figure out…everything. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I have to find—”
“Whoa, whoa, mister.” With surprising strength, his mother hauled him back onto the mattress. “The doctors are still running their tests.”
He huffed. “I’m fine.”
“Yes, you are. But we wait for the tests, Bongbong. No debating.”
There was no point in arguing with his mother. “Ty knows I’m okay?”
“Of course. You’ll see him soon. He is getting better, and now it’s your turn.”
“Have they mentioned anything about Brian?”
A tap on the door preceded an employee entering with a lunch tray. She was barely inside when Troy’s relatives flooded into the room in a chorus of greetings and tears. Two sets of his aunts and uncles fawned over him, remarking on his tan and how he needed to eat.
The young woman who brought his meal squeezed through the crowd and managed to get his lunch on the tray and swing it over his bed. “There are only two visitors permitted at a time,” she said, lost in the cacophony of Tagalog.
Troy smiled at her. “Sorry. They’ll leave soon, I promise.”
She met his eyes and blushed, smiling and nodding as she scurried away. For a moment, Troy was puzzled by her reaction, and then he remembered. He was famous. He had fans. The life that had become so distant on Golden Sands was his again.
Where’s Brian?
As his family talked over each other at him, Troy had to smile, affection for them smoothing over the nagging worry about Brian, at least for the moment. He blinked rapidly, keeping tears at bay as he listened to Auntie Thelma and his mother bicker over something to do with food.
“Oh, here he is!” Auntie Gloria threw up her hands.
Troy couldn’t see through the crush of bodies in the small room. “Huh? Who?”
“Move, move, move.” His mother shuffled everyone aside, and there stood Brian in jeans and a new purple T-shirt that said Aloha means love, accompanied by an image of palm trees. Troy’s heart flopped like a dying fish. Brian was there. He was okay.
He was freshly showered, but still not shaved. With a deep pang of wanting, Troy remembered Brian’s head in his lap, and the scrape of the razor over skin, Brian’s eyes closed with total trust and a contented sigh on their last island spa day.
“Hi,” Troy squawked, his heart thumping.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Brian smiled wanly. “I’ll come back later.”
Troy’s argument was lost in a flurry of similar arguments from his family, and his mother caught Brian’s wrist as he pivoted in the doorway.
“God bless you for saving my son.” She clasped his hand between her own. “God bless you.”
“I didn’t—there’s no need to thank me.” Brian smiled at her weakly.
“No need?” She argued this vociferously, Troy’s aunties and uncles joining into a chorus.
It was beyond bizarre to see Brian and his family in the same room, and Troy didn’t know what to feel. He wanted to rush into Brian’s arms and kiss him, but… Taking out the fact this his family would probably pass out in unison from the shock, would Brian even want that? Should Troy want that?
As his mother pledged enthusiastically to fatten him up as well, Brian edged backward with a forced smile. “Okay, thank you. Troy, I’ll… I’ll leave you with your family. Talk to you later.”
“Brian, I want—”
Then he was gone, and Troy’s mother and aunties cooed about how handsome he was and what a lovely man. Troy smiled and nodded at the right places, wishing what he wanted wasn’t a giant knot to untangle.
At the knock, Troy rushed to the door of his hotel room. It had to be Brian, and—
“Oh my God.” Savannah stood there, her long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, tears tracking her pale cheeks, and a little hot-pink suitcase at her feet. She threw her arms around him. “I was afraid to really believe it.”
Troy hugged her back, struck by a wave of déjà vu at the press of her slim body and vanilla musk scent. “I’m okay.”
She pulled back, still clutching his shoulders and examining him. “You’re so thin. Are you sure you’re okay?” She hiccupped, tears still falling as she reached up to brush back his hair. “Oh, Troy. I’m so glad you’re here. We thought…well, you know what we thought.”
“I know. But I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? God, I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“I’m fine.”
“I can’t believe it’s really you. I missed you so much, baby.” Savannah leaned up, her lips zeroing in on his.
Troy stumbled back. “It’s good to see you too.”
Smiling tentatively, she asked, “Are you going to let me in?”
He retreated farther out of the doorway. “Of course.” When she’d passed by, he collected her suitcase and closed the door.
Savannah bent and unzipped her black high-heeled boots before yanking them off.
“Ugh. I’m retaining so much water after that flight.
I must look like crap.” She straightened up and shook her head, laughing with a tinge of hysteria.
“Not that any of that matters. I’m sorry.
I don’t know what to say. This is like talking to a ghost, you know?
” After taking off her suede jacket and tossing it over a nearby chair, she stood there waiting in her skinny jeans and green silk sweater, vulnerable in bare feet and looking just as beautiful as always.
“What was it like? How did you survive?”
Memories of the island and Brian flickered through his mind like a movie on fast-forward. They’d managed to avoid snakes on Golden Sands, but there was a python around Troy’s chest now, crushing his lungs.
He had to say something. Anything. “Long story.”
She smiled tentatively. “Right. You must be exhausted. Do you want to go to bed?”
Ignoring her question, he tugged at the sleeves of his Henley, then shoved his hands into the pockets of the too-big jeans his mother had brought. “Mom says you got Ty into rehab. Thank you.”
“Of course.” Her face brightened. “He’s doing really well. Have you been able to talk to him?”
“Tomorrow. It was past curfew when I could call. Time difference.”
“Right. I have no idea what time it is.” She rubbed her face. “Guess it’s the middle of the night here.”
“You didn’t have to come.” It sounded harsher than he intended, and the hurt evident in her dark eyes and the downturn of her mouth sent a flare of guilt through him. “I just mean…but it’s nice that you did. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Of course I’m here.” She stepped toward him, her arms slipping around his waist. “My boyfriend just came back from the dead.”
Troy sighed internally, bringing his hands to her shoulders. He needed to find Brian, and this was the last thing he wanted to deal with, which was probably pretty shitty of him. He hated to see the tears well in Savannah’s eyes.
“I know we had that fight,” she said. “I know I screwed up. But come on. You can’t seriously still be mad? After all this? When I found out your plane was missing… It was unbearable. I wanted so badly to tell you how much I love you.”
“Savannah, I’m not mad.”
Her lips trembled. “Then what are you?”
“I don’t know.” It was the truth, at least.
“I can’t believe this.” She sniffed, gripping his waist. “I thought…” Shaking her head, she choked on a sob. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not.” All he could do was hold her while she wept against his chest, her tears wetting his shirt. She was small and soft and lovely, but God, it made him ache for Brian.
Her voice was muffled in his chest. “I know I fucked up by not telling you Ty was using.”
“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Troy rubbed her back.
She jerked up her head. “How can you say it doesn’t matter? Of course it matters! You matter to me! Our relationship matters!”
Gently, he eased away from her and sat on the closest bed. After a few moments of sniffling and wiping her eyes, Savannah sat beside him. She stared down at her hands, spreading her manicured fingers over her thighs. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. But it’s in the past now. All forgiven.”
Her eyebrows lifted as she looked at him. “Forgiven? But not…not back together?”
“I care about you, and I want us to be friends. I’m so grateful that you convinced Ty to get help.”
Savannah’s breath stuttered. “Just friends? Troy, we were so good together. I know we could be again.”
He tried to think of the best way to say that everything had changed. That the changed thing was him, and nothing she did or said would matter.
Then it was too late to say anything because Savannah was straddling his lap and kissing him, pushing him back to the mattress. “Baby, just let me love you. I know you need it.”
Her lips tasted faintly of the berry lip gloss she’d always liked, and he was struck by another wave of déjà vu.
She was a beautiful woman, kissing and rubbing against him, and it felt good.
He could have let her blow him or fuck him or whatever she wanted to do.
But it wasn’t what he wanted. She wasn’t who he wanted.
Taking hold of her shoulders, Troy pushed gently. “Savannah, I’m sorry.”
Her eyes welled with fresh tears. “Didn’t you miss me at all? You don’t even want to screw me? No strings, okay?”
He knew how it would feel to fuck her; knew she could get him off. But God help him, he didn’t want it. Where’s Brian?