Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
A ubrey
I sit alone at All Night. It’s karaoke night and some drunk guys murder Queen’s “We are the Champions” up on the stage, shouting lyrics with raised beer glasses. Very original, guys. That song never gets sung on karaoke night.
But whatever. No shade. Music heals. That’s why I’m here. Drinking a gin and tonic because that’s what Billy likes. It’s been twelve days since the wedding, and it hasn’t gotten much easier.
Classes are over. I officially graduate Saturday. I have no job lined up, other than my part time hours at La Résistance, which means I have nothing to do.
Nothing to take up the time and give me focus.
Way too many hours to ruminate on why Billy didn’t decide we were worth it.
The first week after the wedding, I held a thread of hope, thinking Billy might show up or call. I wanted to work things out with him.
I feel pathetic to admit it, but I wanted him to choose me. I wanted him to say I’m his fated mate. I’m the one.
But he didn’t.
I haven’t heard a word from him.
I still have two guys tailing me at all times. They’re even here tonight, sitting at a table by the door.
I order another drink and try not to check my phone.
I still have Billy’s picture as my lock screen’s wallpaper.
When I first snapped the picture, I saved it there to annoy him.
Look at us, co-parenting a puppy. It’s the sort of picture a girlfriend or partner would take and save.
Now, there’s no hope of us becoming a couple, but I can’t bear to change it.
Madi got back from her honeymoon in Greece yesterday. I wanted to give her time to settle and get over the jetlag before I called her, but I ended up leaving a message an hour ago telling her I needed a shoulder to cry on.
I need someone else’s perspective.
And music. Music helps.
“Aubrey Cook is up next,” the emcee announces.
I’d signed up when I got here in case I felt like singing. I sigh. Do I?
Fuck it, why not? I stand, find my way up to the stage.
“Which eighties song tonight?” the emcee asks.
Yeah, they know me here.
“‘Pictures of You,’ by the Cure.”
The emcee nods, and I take the mic and close my eyes, swaying to the melancholy intro. It’s a seven minute ballad, and I intend to indulge in the entire thing. And yeah, I know I’m bringing the mood in the place down.
Too bad.
I let the music wrap around me. Swallow me up. I’m the kind of person who feels emotion as music–the two are inextricably intertwined for me.
I pace around the small stage with my eyes mostly closed singing–not for the audience, but to get this sense of gloom out of my chest. For catharsis.
They’re patient with me for about half the song, and then the crowd gets annoyed.
“Too sad!” someone yells.
“Why you gotta bring us down?” someone else heckles.
“Shut up and let her sing.”
My eyes fly open. I recognize that voice.
Madi’s sitting at the table right in front of the stage. She must’ve come in while I was indulging. She’s rocking with the sad music, showing her New Wave appreciation like a good emo girlie with melancholy glee.
I jump off the stage and lean into her, sharing the mic, so she can sing the last lines with me.
The crowd boos, and I laugh into the mic before handing it back to the emcee.
He puts on the original Eric Carmen version of the song “All by Myself” to mock me. “Come back up, Aubrey. We know you’re sad. Get him out of your system.”
I flip him off.
Madi chuckles and hugs me. “Ugh. I got your message. What happened? Is it Billy?”
I try to swallow the walnut-sized lump in my throat as I nod and sit down across from her. I spill the thing about overhearing Brick ask him his intentions and saying my memories might have to be wiped by a vampire.
Madi winces.
“Is that a real thing?”
She nods. “It’s how they protect their secret.”
“Nobody’s touching my memories,” I snarl.
She hesitates then nods, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. “I won’t let it happen. I let the wolf's secrecy pull us apart once. No matter what happens with Billy, you’re my inner circle.”
A huge pressure lifts off my chest. “Thank you.” I draw a breath. “Anyway, when Brick asked, Billy said he didn’t know if I was his mate. And then his dad came up to us at the wedding.”
Madi nods. “Right. Tell me what happened.”
I tell her about the altercation and me asking Billy again if I was his mate and him just standing there with a blank look on his face.
Madi stares at me. I can practically see the wheels in her head turning.
I hope that brilliant mind of hers can save me from my messy, tangled thoughts.
“Billy doesn’t show emotion. I imagine he learned to disassociate around his dad.
So instead of showing you how angry or upset he was, he might have just checked out. ”
My nose burns for Billy. Maybe I did the wrong thing, walking away. Maybe he needed me to pull him close in that moment. Bring him back to life.
“Also, he was probably ashamed. Both of his father’s insults and maybe even of how he reacted. He doesn’t like to lose his cool. He prefers to have thought three steps ahead and then coolly take his opponent down. Messy violence isn’t his normal thing.”
Sorrow sweeps over me.
If I had it to do over, I would try to draw Billy out more. Make him feel safe expressing his true self with me. I was too busy protecting my heart before, playing games sparring with him while telling myself it was just a fling.
I thought he needed some space to sort things out, but maybe he needed the opposite.
Maybe he needed me to crawl in his bed and tell him I wasn’t leaving.
But I was too hurt over his indecision. I didn’t like feeling like I was the lesser choice because I’m human.
Like being with me would be some kind of sacrifice for him.
But it’s probably no different than my bias against him for being a Wall Street billionaire. I wasn’t sure my self-image included having a boyfriend who could end child hunger in New York with his annual salary. I thought I’d be selling out or giving up on my ideals to be with someone like him.
Until I walked away, I hadn’t realized that he was worth it. That money doesn’t make a man evil. I hadn’t realized how far I had waded in with him while telling myself I was holding back.
I consider Madi’s words about Billy not liking to show his hand. “When we were having sex, there would sometimes be a moment when passion took over, and he lost control. I could tell he hated it. Afterwards, he’d leave or withdraw, like he needed to put himself back together.”
Madi raised her brows. “That could have been his wolf trying to mark you.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“If a male wolf finds his fated mate, he knows it because she brings up the instinct to mark her.” She pulls the neck of her shirt down to point at four pale scars at the place where neck meets shoulder.
“Brick bit you?”
“It’s a mating bite. It leaves his scent embedded in my skin, so all other males know I’ve been claimed.”
Um, wow.
“Did his eyes ever change when you were having sex?”
I suck in a breath. “Yes. To silver.”
“Sounds like he was fighting his instinct to mark you. Brick nearly lost control of his animal side because we broke up, and his wolf wanted to mark me.”
“Do you think…do you think I’m his mate, Madi?”
She stands. “Come here. I need to show you something.”
Forty minutes later, we get out of the limo Madi took to Brooklyn–yes, I rolled my eyes about it–followed by the two guard dogs Billy put on me. Madi invited them to ride along in the limo because they’d had to tail me on the subway and had left their vehicle near my place.
“This would’ve been a lot easier if you’d just let us drive you in the first place,” one of them mutters, but one quelling look from Madi, and he bows his head. I swear I can see the tucked tail in his posture.
We’re in front of the Sentience building. Madi tugs me to the front door. My bodyguards hang back.
As we draw closer, I see the front wall of windows are covered with plywood from the inside. A vinyl banner stretches across the entrance reading SILVER ARTS GALLERY AND ARTIST SPACES COMING SOON.
“Oh my God.” Shock pushes me off balance, and I drop to a squat and touch the ground to find my bearings. I stare up at the building. “What happened? Billy did this?”
Madi lets out a soft laugh. “I guess he’s been busy dismantling Sentience since we got back from Monaco.
He and Brick had a conversation with the owners.
They had a change of heart and decided to use their funding to pay back the artists they stole from.
Then Billy bought this building and turned it into this. ”
A tight band closes around my throat. Tears spill from my eyes. I cover my mouth.
Billy took down a billion dollar company. For me.
And then he turned it into a place to make and showcase art. He listened and parsed the deepest desire of my heart and made my dream come true.
The man I thought wasn’t sure about me just made the grandest gesture possible while I was licking my wounds at home believing he’d decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.
“So…I am his mate?” I don’t know why, but I just need someone to say it out loud. Billy won’t.
“He may not have marked you, but he’s clearly yours. He’s slaying your dragons, even when you’re not together. He’s trying to make your dreams come true.”
God, I’m crying like a baby. I cover my mouth to hide the ugly sob.
Why did I doubt him?
Billy is broken, that’s for sure. But it doesn’t mean we can’t work. He may not be willing to admit yet I’m his fated mate, but I can admit he’s mine.
It’s time for me to fix this.
If he’s not willing to claim me, I’ll go over there and claim him.
I swipe at the tears under my eyes and lift my chest. “Take me to your place.”