Chapter 6
“… and then he drove me to your house,” I concluded, trying not to smile at my aunt’s grinning face. “When I got inside, I opened up the bag, and he’d gotten me a book about Nannie Helen Burroughs.”
“That’s perfect for you,” Aunt Addy gasped.
“I know!” It took everything in me not to squeal.
“This is good. This is real good, Jazz.” She looked as giddy as I felt. “Did you kiss? Did you”—she attempted to wiggle her eyebrows—“have some fun?”
I burst out laughing. “No, we didn’t kiss or have sex, if that’s what you’re asking!”
“That’s exactly what I was asking.”
“Aunt Addison, you are too much!”
“I like hearing that you’re getting out there and having a good time. It was your first date post-divorce.”
“It wasn’t a date.” I leaned closer to her. “But when we go out on Sunday, it will be.”
She squealed loud enough that one of the staff walking by paused and checked in on us.
“You’re finally going to see a man about a horse,” she said, before dissolving into a fit of giggles.
I couldn’t do anything but laugh right along with her.
“He’s young, but he sounds mature, like he has a good head on his shoulders,” she commented. “That’s a keeper.”
“He didn’t act or look four years younger than me, but I was really surprised that he’s twenty-six. He’s so together and professional.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ve been wrong about a man before.”
“Look a man in his eyes, and you can see the truth. If you really look and you really listen, the truth is right there.”
Her words struck me.
Lamar did have kind eyes.
“Because he’s a keeper, sweetheart,” she continued. “Mark my words!”
There was a sparkle in her eyes and a lightness in her tone that reminded me of her normal self. I held her hand, and as I watched her, my eyes watered. It felt like old times. It felt like before she’d gotten sick.
Well, this sick.
I kissed her hand. “Aunt Addy—”
“Good morning, Ms. Payne!” a woman said as she strolled into the room. “Are you ready for physical therapy?” She looked at me and smiled. “And who is this young lady? Your daughter?”
“This is my niece, Jazmyn,” Aunt Addy said proudly. “But she’s like a daughter to me.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” the physical therapist acknowledged with a smile. “We’re going to take good care of your aunt, and we’re going to help her come home as soon as possible.”
I nodded. “I like the sound of that.”
“Sessions are usually ninety minutes, so feel free to wait in here,” the physical therapist told me. “We have a full morning ahead of us.”
Seeing Aunt Addy in pain was bad enough, but hearing her cry out as she was placed in her wheelchair gutted me. I had the decency to wait until they were out the door before I allowed tears to fall.
When Aunt Addy returned, she seemed exhausted.
She slept until her lunch was delivered.
Then we talked nonstop for about an hour.
She left for her afternoon therapies and came back just as tired as she had earlier.
She woke up twenty minutes after her dinner had arrived, barely ate, and then went to sleep again.
A few minutes before visiting hours were over, Aunt Addison opened her eyes.
“Start on your list,” she whispered. “Don’t waste a minute of your life.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
She reached out for me with her right hand. As soon as I took it, she squeezed. “Live, Jazmyn. Live.”
“I will.”
She closed her eyes, and a few minutes later, her grip on my hand loosened, and it was clear she was asleep.
“Good night,” I murmured, before I left her bedside.
I held it together and didn’t cry on the way home. I just kept thinking about Aunt Addy’s words, repeating them in my head over and over again.
My phone rang right as I was sitting down to eat dinner.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Heyyyyyyy!” Aaliyah and Nina said in unison on a three-way call.
“How are you?” Aaliyah asked.
“How was the yoni steam?” Nina wondered.
“I was going to call you guys after I ate,” I began, taking a deep breath.
“Aunt Addy’s hospital stint was more serious than I thought.
She had a stroke.” They gasped and I continued.
“She’s in a rehab facility for two weeks, and then she’s coming home.
Today was her first real day going through rehab, and it was hard. ”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Nina said. “She’s going to be okay though. She’s tough.”
“And she has you there,” Aaliyah added. “You’ll make this week fly by for her.”
“I’m actually going to stay the full two weeks while she’s in rehab.” I got choked up. “I can’t leave while she’s in that place.”
“Do you need anything?” Aaliyah sounded like she might cry.
“What can we do? I can order you something and have it delivered there,” Nina offered.
“I love you both,” I said softly, holding back my tears.
That was an understatement.
Even though there had been people I talked to in high school, they weren’t friends.
It was hard for me to get close to people in Chance once the bullying started.
Aunt Addy encouraged me to go away for college and to be my full self.
And within the first week of freshman year, I hadn’t just made a bunch of friends—I’d met my best friends in the world.
“Tell me what you guys have going on?” I inquired. “I need to think about something else.”
I listened to the happenings of their lives. Nina’d had another date and sexcapade with the man she’d met a few weeks ago during Richland Fashion Weekend.
“You’re not worried he only wants you for fun and sex?” Aaliyah wondered.
“That’s the only reason I want him,” Nina countered.
I couldn’t do anything but laugh.
Aaliyah reminded us of the memorial celebration for her sister that was coming up next weekend. And then she tried to breeze over the fact that she had circled back to have sex with her ex the other day.
“Matthew?!” I balked, almost choking on the name. “The blues singer? What?”
Nina howled. “Jazz called that man Muddy Waters!”
“It was a mistake,” Aaliyah groaned. “I called Nina afterward, so she can vouch for me. I immediately regretted my decision. But in my defense, it had been way too long since I had sex. It had been six months, and I was getting restless. I don’t know how you’ve been abstaining for two years, Jazz.”
“It’s been almost three years,” Nina corrected, calling me out further. “Jazz just letting her coochie go to waste. Sad.”
I laughed along with them. “My coochie isn’t going to waste! You’re acting like I’m completely against having sex again, and I’m not.”
“You’re just completely against dating and doing anything that will get you some dick,” Aaliyah teased.
Nina sucked her teeth. “Like I said, coochie going to waste!”
My shoulders shook from laughter. “It’s not! It’s just … on break right now.”
“A break this long is a sabbatical,” Nina retorted.
“Stop it!” Aaliyah cried. “I’m weak.”
I rolled my eyes even though I was still laughing. “Don’t do me like this.”
“And in her defense, Jazz is in Chance for two weeks. Who is she gonna fuck there?” Aaliyah argued. “When she gets back to Richland, she’ll dip her toe in the water again.”
“I can’t wait to introduce you both to the streets,” Nina proclaimed.
I frowned even though they couldn’t see me. “I’ll pass.”
“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that bullshit either,” Aaliyah agreed.
“How are you going to meet anyone if you don’t go outside?” Nina asked.
I was just about to tell them about Lamar, when Aaliyah yelped.
“I thought I blocked Matthew,” she gasped. “How is he calling me right now?”
“Don’t answer it. He might record the call and use it as the intro on his mixtape,” Nina joked.
We went back and forth about that for a minute.
And then we said our goodbyes, and I realized I hadn’t told them about Lamar.
But part of me felt it was for the best to wait before saying anything.
I shared everything with Aaliyah and Nina, but I didn’t even know what to say about Lamar. I wasn’t sure what the situation was.
I’ll tell them about him if we actually go out next week.
I was nervous just thinking about it.
Although there was no denying that I liked Lamar, I wasn’t ready to tell anyone that. I was convinced that as soon as the words came out of my mouth, he would turn around and embarrass me.
Like my ex.
I shook my head thinking about it.
But as I dozed off, my gut told me that Lamar Anderson was different.
I woke up feeling good and optimistic, so I let that feeling carry me to the rehab center.
“What are we going to do first from your list?” I asked Aunt Addy as we chatted before her physical therapy session.
“After being locked in here, I think a spa day sounds like the right place to start.”
I grinned. “That’s a great idea—”
“Who is ready for some good hard work?” the physical therapist announced as she strolled into the room.
I watched my aunt get rolled out for another day of treatment when my phone vibrated with a text.
Spam.
It was almost embarrassing how badly I wanted it to be Lamar.
For the next forty-eight hours, every time my phone chimed, I thought it was him.
Excitement and nerves swirled in my belly with every text notification and then disappointment and confusion tugged at me when it wasn’t him.
The date we’d gone on was the best date of my life.
It wasn’t extravagant or over-the-top. It wasn’t even the activity that made it so good.
It was him. I’d never felt as instantly connected to a man, and it made me nervous that I felt something with him—and I wanted to feel it again.
So it was a little disconcerting that he didn’t reach out to me until Wednesday night. But I played it cool.
Lamar Anderson: Would you prefer Jamaican or Italian food on Sunday?
Jazmyn Payne: Jamaican sounds good.
Lamar Anderson: How are you? How’s Chance treating you since I left?
Jazmyn Payne: I haven’t seen much of Chance since you left. But I’m doing well. How are you?