Chapter 30 #2
He came over on Monday night and stayed with me.
He held me, massaged me, and comforted me.
I woke up Tuesday morning, looked over at him, and felt so thankful.
Although I was somber, the school day went by faster knowing that Lamar was at my place waiting for me.
But during the last class period, I heard some gasping, whispering, and overall gossiping.
“… and this is why she was gone last week and looking sad this week,” one of my students explained.
I looked up just in time to see the small group on the right side of the classroom staring at me.
“What’s going on?” I asked, making my way toward them.
“Nothing!” they said in unison, flipping over the phone.
I put my hand out. “Hand it here.”
“Ms. Payne,” he complained.
“Phone, or you can go to the office.”
One of the girls snatched the phone and handed it to me. “I’m not going to the office. I’ve already got my stuff for homecoming, and I can’t get in trouble over something I didn’t do.”
I gave her a curt nod. “Thank you.”
Opening the phone, I took a step and then froze.
I was staring at two pictures side by side—one of me and Lamar with a jagged red line between us and one with Lamar and another woman. Reading the caption, I immediately realized who it was.
Milan.
“What does this have to do with Maya Angelou?” I asked the students in the group.
“Nothing. It’s just something from social media,” the boy answered.
I nodded. “Get back to work,” I ordered. “You can collect your phone after the bell.”
Trying to keep my shit together, I went to my desk and looked at the image again. After taking note of the website, I counted the minutes until the bell so I could explore what the hell was going on. When I was alone, I picked up my phone, went to the site, and hit PLAY on the video.
“I keep getting tagged, so while I finish my makeup, I figure I should give you this story time,” Milan started, flashing a bright smile.
“Story Time: My Hollywood Love Story.” She giggled.
“Hollywood and I dated all throughout college. We met freshman year and became friends. He was serious about football, so he wasn’t looking to get into a relationship.
I was serious about my studies and then pledging my sorority, so I wasn’t looking to get into a relationship either.
But before sophomore year began, we had found ourselves in love with one another.
We thought we would be together forever because we had the type of love that never truly goes away.
He’s not the type to say I love you if he doesn’t mean it.
It takes him a long time to utter those words, and once he locks in, it’s forever.
If he was ever going to be in a relationship while in the league, we talked about it being with me.
We always said that when the time was right, we’d reconnect.
Who knows … maybe the time is right now.
” She winked at the camera. “I don’t know what his relationship status is or who the woman is he’s pictured with, but I know him, and I know that his first love is football.
And until I hear that he’s in a relationship out of his own mouth, he’s single… ”
I hadn’t been on social media since Aunt Addy died, so the Milan turn of events blindsided me. I immediately sent the video to the group chat. Unfortunately, in sharing the video, I opened the comments.
Well, damn.
The top comment said that Milan looked more like a professional athlete’s woman and that she was more Lamar’s type.
I swiped off the video, and the next one happened to be someone talking about how it wasn’t a coincidence that Lamar had played the best game of his life on the same day Milan posted her video.
I’d thought the comments were rude before, but the fact that Lamar’s ex was my opposite—slim, light-skinned, straight hair, the “right” look—brought out the nastiest commentary.
Seeing how he fumbled Milan, I can’t even look at this man the same. I can’t vote for him this month. I need some time to get over this, I read, rolling my eyes.
I hated the bullshit they were saying about me, because it wasn’t true. But it killed me that they were detracting from Lamar’s talent and plotting against him. His dreams had come to fruition, and they were using me to try to derail them.
My stomach lurched.
This is not okay. I can’t let this happen.
Gianna and Drea from my first period walked in.
“Are you okay, Ms. Payne?” Gianna asked.
Drea gave me a sympathetic look. “Just in case it was you in that picture—”
Looking at Drea, Gianna pointed at me. “Do your eyes not work? You can see clear as day that it’s her.” Then she turned to me and frowned. “We’re sorry about the breakup.”
“It was really inspiring seeing you and Hollywood together,” Drea noted. “I’m not feeling that Milan lady. I mean, she has some cute ‘get ready with me’ videos, but—”
Gianna put her hands on her hips. “Drea, read the room!”
“How can I read the room?” Drea snapped back. “My eyes don’t work!”
Gianna’s jaw dropped, and then they both giggled.
I stood up, grabbing my bags. “You’re going to miss your bus,” I told them.
“I drove,” Drea countered. “But we really came in here to see if you were okay. Rumors are going around that you and Hollywood broke up and that’s why you were gone last week.”
“And his relationship with Milan is why you were looking sad this week,” Gianna added.
I pursed my lips. “I’m fine,” I told them as I ushered them out of my classroom. “And I don’t know anything about any of that.”
Gianna stared at me with a skeptical look. “I know it’s you, Ms. Payne. And I’m sorry about this whole Milan situation. He looked better with you.”
Drea nodded. “Sure did. And from the video, he knows it too.”
I shook my head. “You two get home safely. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Turning on my heel, I walked out of the building. As soon as I got in my car, I went to social media to find the video the girls were referencing.
“We really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with us to answer a few questions,” the interviewer started.
“It’s an honor to be invited. Thank you for having me,” Lamar replied.
“How does it feel to be on the short list of defensive players up for September’s Defensive Player of the Month?” the interviewer asked.
“It feels great,” Lamar answered. “I’ve worked hard, but football is a team effort. I couldn’t do what I do without the great defensive players around me. We work as a unit, so if I do get the honor, it’s not just for me, it’s for all of us.”
“There are a lot of women who love the game and are passionate this season.”
“Well, one of the most passionate football fans I know is a woman.”
“How are you handling this newfound fame? You went from the practice squad to the spotlight. How are you navigating that transition?”
“I’m handling it. It’s a change, but I’m handling it.”
“There’s a lot being said about your personal life. How do you deal with rumors?” the interviewer asked.
“I ignore them. I only want to deal with what’s real.”
“Some people are saying your personal life is overshadowing your playmaking on the field. They think you that you egged it on by not confirming your relationship with the mystery woman. What do you say to those individuals?”
“I didn’t realize that was being said. But football is my career and that’s your business. My relationship is my personal life, and that’s my business.”
“Is it okay if I ask you one more question about your personal life?”
“As long as it’s not about the woman in the picture.”
“I’m sorry, it is.”
“I’m not answering questions about her. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Well, just answer this … are you single?”
Lamar hesitated before finally saying, “Let’s move on.”
Hearing him confirm we were not in a relationship threw me for a loop.
But the number of people who were in the comments laughing at the idea of Lamar breaking up with me was unsettling.
They didn’t know anything about me, so their commentary was based solely on the amount of fat on my body.
The fact that people were gleeful—saying it served me right and I needed to be humbled for thinking I deserved to be with an athlete—was chilling.
It hadn’t taken long for people to start speculating that he’d rekindled with Milan.
There’s something seriously wrong with these people, I said as I made my way home. When I arrived, Lamar was sitting on the couch with his paperwork in front of him. They have no idea.
“I’ve been waiting for you to get home all day,” Lamar said as he walked toward the door.
Warmth crept up my neck when I saw the way his eyes lit up at the sight of me. Everything in the way he looked at me told me how he felt about me. But the comment about him not claiming me in public popped in my head when I remembered what had happened when I told him I wanted to be with him.
He didn’t want to be with me let alone claim me when given the opportunity. But if he did claim me, how much further would I hurt his career?
My smile faltered just as soon as the thoughts hit me.
Looking at that gorgeous man as he approached me, I knew I didn’t want to lose him, but I also knew I couldn’t be the reason his dreams got deferred. It hurt to even think of how his achievements were being overshadowed.
“What’s wrong?” he wondered as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. He kissed the top of my head, my cheek, and then my lips. “How was your day?”
Letting his arms and his cologne temporarily distract me, I nuzzled him. “I missed you. Today was … tough.”
“What happened?’”
I hesitated for only a second. “Some kids saw your interview with Flex Magazine, and since you said you didn’t want to talk about me, they think I was out last week because we aren’t together anymore. And it’s become a whole thing at school because of the pictures, and you said you were single…”
He leaned back a little to see my face. “Like you wanted me to.”