Chapter 32 #2
“I’ll do whatever you want, whatever you need me to do,” he responded. “But I’m not lying, and I’m not going to let anyone disrespect you in my face. As much as I want to give you what you want, there’s only so much I can let slide before I step in.”
My stomach fluttered.
It was sexy as hell to hear those words out of that mouth from that man.
The way he cared for me was exactly why I wanted to do what was best for him.
The same way he wanted to protect me, I wanted to protect him.
I couldn’t allow his association with me to negatively impact his career, his dream, his legacy.
I knew if I said that to him, he’d say it didn’t matter. He’d say anyone worth a damn would be focused on his on-the-field play. He’d say we’d figure it out.
But I knew how rare it was to get the type of opportunity he had at this moment. I knew what it meant to him, to his father. I knew how hard he worked and how much he sacrificed. And I knew how much being an active player meant to him and the ways in which it validated him deep down.
I couldn’t be the person who derailed that dream or jeopardized his future—our relationship would never survive that.
“What you can do is go on social media and say you and Milan are not happening.”
“Done,” he said without hesitation.
My lips tugged upward sheepishly. “Thank you.”
Resting his forehead against mine, he stared into my eyes. “You don’t have to thank me for that.” His lips just barely met mine. “I’d do anything to make sure you’re good.”
Sharing a soft, sweet kiss, we put the subject to rest.
We ate, watched most of a movie, and sucked and fucked our way into exhaustion. We fell asleep in each other’s arms, and I had the best sleep I’d had all week.
I’d never felt more content in my life.
“I hate to have to leave you here,” Lamar whispered against my ear. “But I can’t wait to come back home to you.”
“I love you,” I murmured sleepily, barely awake.
“I love you, too,” he replied softly. “I’ll call you when we land.”
He kissed my cheek and then my lips.
My mind, body, and soul roused when his mouth moved over mine with reverence. My arms wrapped around his neck as I brought him closer. He moaned and my nipples hardened.
“You sure you’re going to be here when I get back?” he murmured.
“Yes.”
“Good.” He planted another kiss. “Text me when you wake up.”
The whole thing felt like a dream until I heard the door close. I woke up with a start and had a hard time falling back to sleep.
I missed Lamar already.
Being in his home without him didn’t feel as strange as I would’ve guessed. I rolled over and grabbed his pillow. Inhaling his scent eased me back to sleep.
I spent Saturday grading papers and catching up on the work that I’d fallen behind on while I was out. I managed to talk to Lamar when he made it to Nevada, but with the three-hour time difference, we didn’t talk long.
I spent Sunday alternating between watching the games and cooking.
Since the four-o’clock game that the Monarchs won ended around seven o’clock, Lamar didn’t make it back home until well after three o’clock in the morning.
But since school was closed on Monday, I happily woke up to greet him when he arrived.
“You were incredible,” I whispered into his ear as he hugged me tight. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I want you at a game.”
“I want to be there.”
“Good,” he murmured, just as he kissed me.
We weren’t up for very long.
We discussed the game and how he’d played as he prepared for bed. As he snuggled up next to me, he pulled my back to his front. I wiggled my ass against him as I got comfortable. He kissed my neck as he theorized that the two interceptions the Monarchs had thrown were the only reason they lost.
I nodded in agreement. “And even though the defense played well, there are some things that need to happen on offense to close out the game. The long drives resulting in field goals—or worse, no points—is not how you win games. Y’all shouldn’t have lost this one.”
“Facts.”
“This is the best the defense has looked in a long time. Operating like a well-oiled machine.”
“Right? And I know I’ve been getting a lot of attention because I’m the newest addition, but it’s really all of us. We’ve been moving as a unit.”
You deserved Defensive Player of the Month, I thought.
I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t verbalize it. I’d said it via text when Lionel Timmons had been announced, but every time I tried to say it aloud, my eyes watered.
I swallowed hard.
“You get the attention because you deserve it,” I told him.
“The defense as a whole gets the attention because you all work well as a group. But when they are talking about you, it’s not because you’re the shiny new player on the field.
Lamar, you are talented physically, but you’re also incredibly smart.
It’s not just your athletic ability; it’s your mind and the way you think. ”
He tightened his grip on me, but he was quiet.
After thirty seconds of silence, I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. When our eyes met, I started to ask if he was okay, but the words caught in my throat.
He twisted so his lips met mine. When he pulled away, he held my gaze. “I love the way you see me,” he uttered, before resting his head back on the pillow and falling out of my line of sight.
“You’re worth being seen,” I returned.
I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me before he fell asleep. But I meant it with everything in me.
Lamar was worth being seen.
He was worth being celebrated.
He was worth being Defensive Player of the Month.
I squeezed my eyes closed as the thought hit me. I really am a social pariah.
In his sleep, he drew me closer and let out a contented sigh.
Instantly my eyes pricked with tears. I didn’t want to lose him, and I didn’t want him to lose opportunities.
I was in love with him, and I wanted to do what was best for him.
I hated that there was a small voice in the back of my head that felt like what was best for him was to not be with me.
Nah, that can’t be the answer, I told myself, dismissing the thoughts.
I had to figure out a way to get out of the public’s eye and shift the focus back on Lamar and his talent.
Not surprisingly, I woke up before Lamar.
Instead of waking him up with head like I was tempted to do, I went downstairs and prepared everything for his steak-and-eggs breakfast. I was going to scramble the eggs once the steak was almost done.
While I waited, I pulled out my phone to see the group chat was active.
Aaliyah James: Ahmad and I are heading to get breakfast. I’m so glad he took off to come here with me because they are saying it could take six or seven hours to winterize this yacht.
Nina Ford: I’m still stuck on the fact that you are paying five hundred dollars to winterize a yacht you’ve been on twice since it’s become yours. I nominate your uncle to incur the expense.
Jazmyn Payne: You know good and damn well her uncle is going to use that as another reason to say women shouldn’t own boats.
Nina Ford: He doesn’t have sense, and he’s worried about women having boats. He doesn’t own a brain cell yet there he goes, thinking he knows best.
Aaliyah James: He happened to be coming to my parents’ house as I was leaving on Sunday.
He told me that I looked happy. Just as I was about to say thank you, he said to make sure I don’t put on that happy weight and risk losing a good man.
So, needless to say, I thought of a good comeback while we were driving to the dock this morning.
I just wish I had thought of it in the moment.
Nina Ford: Not that you would’ve said it anyway. You’re more respectful to people than they deserve.
Jazmyn Payne: It’s sweet though, Aaliyah. Nina is reckless with her mouth and is disrespectful every chance she gets. I like both options.
Nina Ford: I know Cassius Clay ain’t saying I’m reckless and disrespectful! Jazz, your mouth is just as disrespectful as mine. You just don’t go back and forth.
Jazmyn Payne: I have one good comeback and then I’m done.
Nina Ford: Because then you’re ready to fight, Money Mayweather! But I’m not mad at it because honestly, same.
Aaliyah James: Nina talking about “same” like she’s really gonna throw hands. We can’t fight, Nina!
Nina Ford: That’s why the three of us go hand-in-hand. Aaliyah is going to overthink a situation and plan it out. I’m going to be the mouthpiece and possibly talk shit. And Jazz is going to either teach them a lesson or teach them a LESSON.
Jazmyn Payne: Not me being the muscle!
Aaliyah James: You and that big, strong man of yours can definitely be the muscle. I saw him knock somebody out yesterday and they had to get helped off the field.
Nina Ford: Two heavy hitters in love.
Jazmyn Payne: I cannot!
Aaliyah James: Speaking of love, how do you want to handle this Milan situation? It’s getting out of control. The fact that she showed up to the game last week was over the top. But she’s saying she’s going to the upcoming Sunday night game, taking it too far.
Nina Ford: I will never understand how people are comfortable embarrassing themselves for engagement and likes. Because the way she has no shame being thirsty for a man who doesn’t want her is wild.
Jazmyn Payne: Lamar said he was going to shut things down.
I glanced at the oven as it beeped to alert me that the steak was done. It didn’t take long because he liked it undercooked. I finished off the steak and then scrambled the eggs while my mind raced.
It wasn’t that I thought he wanted Milan. I knew he didn’t. But the idea of her being at that Sunday-night game while I sat at home watching it on TV bothered me. I wanted to be able to go and support him without negatively impacting him.
This is ridiculous—
His footsteps and sexy grunts interrupted my thoughts as I finished cooking.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Lamar greeted me as he entered the kitchen.
“Good morning,” I replied without turning around. “How do you feel?”
“Good. I always sleep best next to you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
“I do, too.” I turned my face and looked up to allow his mouth to cover mine. Pulling out of the kiss, I smiled. “Grab drinks, and I’ll bring you your plate.”
He got drinks while I plated our food. He was grinning as I walked across the room. “I could get used to this.”
As I set his plate down in front of him, I kissed him in response.
Grabbing my face, he whispered, “I’m a lucky man.”
Giddily, I sat next to him. “Tell me about this Champs interview you have tomorrow.”
“Well, it’s live. And it’ll air on SANS.”
Having anything air on the Sports Action News Station was a huge deal. My eyebrows shot up. “Oh my God! That’s huge!”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I knew it was with Champs, but I didn’t know it was going to be airing on SANS.”
I screeched happily. “Lamar! Tell me everything!”
I listened to the joy and excitement in his voice as he told me about the segment. They choose different teams and different positions to spotlight, and while it was through random selection, they tended to pick standouts.
“I’m so proud of you,” I told him dreamily.
“You know those messages you send me before the games are the reason I’m in the right headspace to do what I do on the field,” he admitted.
I shook my head. “No, it’s you.” I poked him. “You, your talent, your abilities, your intelligence, your hard work. You are the reason you got here. I’m just thankful to be able to witness you achieve this.”
After breakfast, he went to practice, and I drove home. Hours later, my phone dinged. I thought it was going to be Lamar letting me know he was on his way to my place; instead it was a link to the social media page of TJ Smith. With my brows furrowed, I pressed PLAY and waited.
“Ay yo, Hollywood,” TJ Smith called out from behind the camera.
In the video posted on TJ’s social media page while at practice on Monday, I watched Lamar get closer and into focus as he finished his last rep.
His sweat-slicked body highlighted the muscles that defined his arms and his broad shoulders.
The sleeveless T-shirt he was wearing clung to his firm chest and soft belly as he finished his last rep.
His muscular arms tensed just before he dropped the weight.
“We’re doing this now?” Lamar asked incredulously.
“You agreed to answer some questions for me, man.”
Lamar shook his head, wiping his face with the towel he grabbed from his pile of stuff near the weight bench. “What’s up?”
“There’s this rumor going around about you and this chick named Milan. What’s up with that?”
He shook his head. “I have no idea where that even came from. Milan is a woman I dated in the past, and that’s it.
My boy just showed me some of the talk happening on this app here.
So I want to clear some stuff up—Milan and I are not together.
We’re not going to be together. We’re not rekindling anything.
There’s no bad blood between us. To keep it a buck, there’s nothing between us.
I wish her nothing but the best though.”
“And the woman with the social media page who says she’s Hollywood’s girl, who is that?”
“I don’t know who that is,” Lamar answered. “I know who it’s not—my girl.”
TJ burst out laughing. “Yoooo.”
TJ Smith was the Monarchs’ superstar wide receiver with millions of followers and lots of reach.
It made sense for Lamar to make that announcement on TJ’s account in order to get the word out as quickly as possible.
With a satisfied smile, I slipped my phone into my pocket and felt confident that there was nothing else for people to run with.