Chapter 33 #3
“Okay, you feel me?!” I looked between the two of them. “They think we’re together, and it robbed him of everything that comes along with the title and the money.”
We were all quiet for a moment.
Nina put her plate down and leaned forward. “He found out the reason he didn’t get it was because people were mad he was with you, and his response was ‘Let’s go public’?”
My stomach knotted as I heard the summary. “Well … yeah, kinda.”
Aaliyah cocked her head to the side. “The first man you’ve ever truly fallen for knows what people are saying, and that doesn’t faze him. He knows that some people are being idiotic right now, and yes, he lost a grip of money—fifty thousand dollars to be exact—but he’s still in it.”
“Yeah…” I said slowly.
Nina made a contemplative noise. “So the risks that you’re worried about, he’s aware of, and he’s still willing to take the chance. Why aren’t you?”
The question made my head spin.
Shifting my gaze to Aaliyah, I tried to change the subject. “Being in love has changed Nina.”
“Yeah,” Aaliyah agreed. “And it’s changed you, too.”
I exhaled loudly and was about to complain that they weren’t helping when Aaliyah continued.
“To piggyback off what Nina said, are you scared it won’t work out, or are you scared it will?”
Whew.
I shook my head. “Y’all are hitting me with the tough questions today.
” I took a bite of my food to buy time. Chewing slowly, I mulled over what they’d asked.
I looked at Nina. “Because I’m scared,” I answered her question.
Shifting my gaze to Aaliyah, I answered hers: “I’m scared it’ll work out at the expense of his career.
But I’m also scared it won’t work out because of all the external factors—the public scrutiny, his coaches, his management team.
I’m scared the outside pressures will get to him and it’ll blow up in my face—publicly. So I guess the answer is both.”
That’s an excuse, not an answer.
“So, the real question is would you rather lose him now or lose him later?” Nina asked.
“Whoa,” I murmured, heart thumping in my chest. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
My conversation with my best friends lingered while I was at my hair appointment. I was so distracted by my thoughts, I almost missed when my loctician told me I didn’t owe her anything for the appointment.
“Huh?” I replied, confused.
“Your man called and took care of it on Monday…” She went on about how romantic that was, but I didn’t hear much of what she’d said.
Emotion washed over me as I knew the only person it could’ve been was Lamar.
I hadn’t even remembered this appointment, and he had.
And as I sat under the dryer, I replayed different moments between me and Lamar.
As my loctician finished my rope twists, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Aaliyah and Nina’s advice hit different today. But when I got home, I knew exactly why.
Jazmyn Payne: Your words today felt like they were coming straight from Aunt Addy. Thank you both.
Aaliyah James: That’s the biggest compliment! Nina and I just want you to live your life to the fullest—just like Aunt Addy.
Nina Ford: And in football terms, you’ve been playing offense, now you need to play defense.
Jazmyn Payne: What does that even look like?
Nina Ford: The hell if I know! But if you’re the coach and the other team has the ball and you need to make a stop, what are you going to do to shake shit up?! What’s your favorite play?
Jazmyn Payne: A blitz.
Aaliyah James: I don’t know what that means, but yes, blitz! Do that.
Nina Ford: Do *something*. Anything!
Snickering to myself, I shook my head. The metaphor she was going for had lost itself, and I was about to type that, but my aunt’s advice to fight for what I wanted felt like it was embedded in my friends’ words.
Nina Ford: What does blitzing look like in the game?
Jazmyn Payne: It’s organized disruption. The ultimate go big or go home play outside of a Hail Mary.
Aaliyah James: Yes, blitz!
Nina Ford: Yes! Organized disruption. Go big and tell the world you’re Lamar’s girlfriend. And go home with him and throw that ass in a circle.
Aaliyah James: And doing it in a big way so it’ll disrupt the weirdos like the lady who’s pretending to be you, the ex-girlfriend who wants to take your spot, and all the other women who think they have a shot.
Jazmyn Payne: I was sitting under the dryer, thinking about what I’m sacrificing and giving up and I decided that as much as I don’t want him to lose his career, I also don’t want us to lose what we have. And if he’s willing to try, then so am I.
My phone rang.
“Hello?” I answered.
“We’re going to the Monarchs game tomorrow,” Nina said in lieu of a greeting. “Hold on.”
My eyebrows flew up.
“Hello?” Aaliyah answered as Nina merged the call.
“We can’t just go to the game!” I exclaimed.
“We’re going to a game?” Aaliyah wondered. “What game?”
I pulled out of the parking spot. “Nina thinks we should go to the game tomorrow so I can publicly stake my claim.”
“That’s how you blitz,” Nina confirmed.
“I think that’s a great idea!” Aaliyah agreed. “It’s romantic. That’s basically like sending him flowers to his job.”
“Blitz! Blitz! Blitz!” Nina chanted, and then Aaliyah joined in.
“You don’t even know what blitzing is,” I complained as I tried not to laugh.
They cracked up.
I smiled. Addison Payne would’ve absolutely showed up at the game if she were me. It was the ultimate “go big or go home” gesture. And while I was worried my presence might be a distraction, I was tired of letting other people’s bullshit control my social life.
I’m not letting it happen again.
“I’m down,” I agreed. “Let’s go to the game.”
“Just snagged some tickets,” Nina announced.
“Even if I come off just as thirsty as Milan,” I half joked, as I was doing essentially the same thing that she had.
“You’re a Monarchs fan going to a game. That’s not thirsty,” Aaliyah reasoned.
“Pretending like your ex still wants you is thirsty,” Nina added. “Actually no, Milan isn’t thirsty—that bitch is parched!”
“Dehydrated!” Aaliyah cackled.