21. Loren
21
LOREN
W here the hell are you, Matt?
I sighed, smiling at the rest of the team.
We waited and waited as long as we could at the office. Matt didn’t show.
He walked off after I told him that I was pregnant, and that was the last I saw of him.
He can’t just walk away from this , too, can he?
Acquiring Gammon Industries as a new client was a huge deal. It wasn’t something Matt would willingly give up. Maybe he could walk away from me and the prospect of having a baby with me, but this project was significant for him.
We waited for him to return to the building for as long as we could, but we finally went ahead and left as a group for the big meeting.
Brad shifted in his seat again, clearly uncomfortable about our team member, our leader, being absent.
Eli and Rupert weren’t any better. They fidgeted and shifted, unsure about proceeding with this when Matt was a no-show.
“Looks like he’s bailing, huh?” the slimy man in the corner of the waiting room said.
I hadn’t met Aaron DuPont before today, but I hadn’t been missing out on anything. He was a jerk, too smug and eager to lord over us. I disliked him on sight. He was the sort of man who would never be well-liked or welcomed. So for him to be an old rival of Matt’s, he had to lay on the charm pretty damn thickly to get any clients for his marketing company.
“Who?” I asked, lifting my chin to face him. He wouldn’t scare me. I wouldn’t shrink back and be intimidated. Not by someone like him.
“Matt.” Aaron smiled, looking like a weasel. “It seems he’s giving up, after all.”
I crossed my arms. “And why would you think that?”
“Loren,” Eli whispered, tugging on my sleeve.
I looked down at him, watching him subtly shake his head to dissuade me.
“I don’t have to think it,” Aaron replied. “I can see it. He’s bailed on your team.” He snickered and smoothed down his tie. “He probably couldn’t stand to watch the disaster unfold.”
“ What disaster?” I bit out.
“Whatever his pitch was.” Aaron gestured at the four of us on the opposite side of the waiting room. “Whatever you all thought could beat a DuPont pitch.”
“The only disaster happening is how you’ll react when you see us succeeding, without any micromanagement.”
Aaron smirked, shaking his head.
“Because Matt doesn’t just lord over us,” I said, getting more riled up to speak about Matt, much less to defend him. “He trusts his team and has faith we will do well, with or without him here.”
He stepped closer, scowling. “Are you implying that I’m a crappy boss who does lord over his team?”
I shrugged, grateful that the Gammon conference doors opened.
Emily, one of the kind, younger women I recalled from the last meeting, smiled upon seeing me. “Loren!” She grinned. “I’m so glad to see you again.”
I gave her a side hug as I walked into the room. “It’s wonderful to see you again.” Before I passed her by, I paused and looked down at her stomach. “You’ve got a bump now!” I exclaimed. Last time, she mentioned how excited she was to work on this pitch and see who they wanted to hire for the rebrand of the line because she was pregnant with her first baby.
“Isn’t it adorable?” She laughed, strutting and sticking her stomach out so I could see her bump. It was small. She was early yet. But seeing another younger businesswoman, dedicated to her career and starting a family, made me emotional.
“It is. I can’t wait to have one.”
She gaped at me as more Gammon associates ushered us further into the room. Rupert, Brad, and Eli walked in, sharing hellos and small talk with the others. I was once again pleased that Tom had called off sick.
Emily pulled me aside. “Loren! Are you also expecting?”
I smiled, glad I could nod and tell that news to someone who would be happily excited for me. Not someone suspicious and shocked, like Hailey. Not someone so put off by the news that they walked away, like Matt.
“I am. It’s very early yet. I’ve only just learned about it over the last weekend.”
She wrapped me into a giddy hug, over the moon and all smiles. “Oh, congratulations! This is so exciting. Have you picked a doctor yet?”
I shook my head. “Next on the list. And there will be so many things to do!”
“For sure,” she said agreeably. “It’s such a huge change in our lives.”
Change. I almost laughed when she reminded me of what to generally expect as a mother-to-be. Changes. My body would change. I would change. It seemed that this “change”, this baby, was conceived the night Matt and I thought we could embrace and celebrate changes.
“I’m very excited about it,” I told her as we all took our places in the conference room. And I was excited. Despite Matt’s pathetic reaction, I would take charge and handle being a single mother on my own.
I’d never thought much about when and where I would want to have a baby. Now, it looked like my baby and I would discover this big city together, soon.
“How have you been feeling?” Emily asked.
“Oh, on and off. There are good days and bad.”
She winced as she sat. “Ugh. I got so lucky with morning sickness. I can’t help you with any advice there.”
I nodded. “I’ll get the hang of it,” I said.
“I love your spirit. You take charge of any challenge and handle it like a boss, don’t you?”
I have to. “I do.”
As she took her seat, another one of the Gammon associates looked around the room. “Is Mr. Richards joining us today?” he asked.
“I don’t believe so,” I said, clear and confident with my tone. “I believe a family matter arose.” I cleared my throat. “Quite unexpectedly.”
And those weren’t lies. He did have a family matter to get used to—a family we’d started, one I would make my own without his input. If his mode of reacting was to walk away, to go when the going got tough, then like Hailey said, screw him.
Plus, this baby was unexpected.
“But we are here to handle this presentation.” I smiled, getting right into it after that explanation.
Together, among Brad, Rupert, Eli, and me, we presented the adjusted and revised material that was structured on the storyboards and visuals we’d prepared to show them. Without any hiccups, we explained the new directions where the marketing and promotional efforts could go.
It felt like a rush, talking for so long without Matt here, but we really did come across as a team. I led them in Matt’s absence, mostly because it seemed I had the most personable skills to charm them. My three teammates didn’t sit there silent, though. They spoke as well, stepping in to share parts that they had a better handle on.
An hour flew by, blurring with how quickly it all wrapped up. Just like the last time we met with the Gammon associates, they asked follow-up questions and made comments where they made sense.
I wanted to feel like we were really pulling this off. That despite Matt not being here, he had led us at the Richards office to ensure we were ready to go and to do this.
Or maybe it’s because these products are relevant to me now. I would be a parent buying bottles, teethers, toys, and clothes for a baby soon. All those things and more. Even though it was early days yet, it somehow made it all the more different to feel like a consumer of these specific things to really get a better grasp for them or to anticipate what I would consider for my own child.
At the end, I sighed and smiled. Exchanging glances with the three coworkers who’d shown up with me, I was optimistic and convinced that we had definitely wowed them.
“This was a wonderful meeting,” one of Emily’s coworkers said. “Very informative.”
“Thank you,” I replied. It felt good to receive praise in general, but hearing a compliment from the potential client was a type of approval I had been seeking for a long time. This was my first “real” and big job. I was taking off with my career here, not just an ordinary dime-a-dozen, entry-level gig that I could replace with any other thing.
I was using my education. I was experiencing a sense of finding myself through this. And it felt good .
It almost erased the sting of Matt not showing up. He’d done such a seamless and smooth maneuver of getting me to see him as someone who’d be there, a constant. Someone to depend on not as an out-of-sight overseer but someone on the team.
“Are you nervous yet?” Emily asked after the guys packed up their things and moved out of the room. Brad and one of the Gammon workers were talking away about something to do with sports, and I appreciated having this moment with Emily. Just us girls.
“About the presentation?” I smiled. “Actually, no.” And I meant that. I’d stand by my work. I gave it my all for this meeting. It didn’t have the hiccups of the first meeting, and that showed how we were progressing professionally on this pitch.
“No. Of course, not.” Emily laughed lightly. “You all really wowed us with that pitch. I meant about the pregnancy. The baby.”
My smile widened. “Oh, I’m definitely nervous about that! It’s my first time, so I’m learning it all as I go.”
Including how to screw up informing the daddy that he’s having a child… And navigating the very real idea that I’ll need to do this alone.
We lingered, chatting for a while longer. It felt good to have a basic pregnancy sort of talk with another woman who’d really understand and be sympathetic about morning sickness and that rush of seeing a test turn positive. She was further along than I was, so she had more experience with what I assumed would be coming for me.
When we parted ways, sharing our personal contact info to get lunch sometime and talk more, I felt like I’d gained another friend. Not a business acquaintance, but a real friend to bring in as a support system.
I headed into that meeting nervous and feeling neglected with Matt not showing up. But as I left the Gammon building, I felt calmer. That was a natural reaction. The tension was over. The suspense and anticipation of needing to be on and to do my best at that meeting were finished.
Still, a gnawing ache lingered in my soul. I was hurt, trying to get over the disappearing act that Matt thought was okay.
“I’m going to walk,” I told the three men on my team.
“Are you sure?” Eli asked. He was the biggest worrywart of us all.
Rupert was a runner up. “I can walk with you,” he offered kindly. “So you’re not alone.”
Honestly, I’d never be alone again. The baby in my belly would always be with me.
“No, it’s okay. I just want to think things through,” I said, pointing up at the sky. “At least before another storm comes through.”
Brad nodded. “Okay. We’ll see you later, Loren. Great job in there. You really saved the day, stepping up like that.”
Eli frowned and ran his hand through his hair. “I wonder what happened with Matt, though. He never bails on a team like that.”
Ha. There was a first time for everything…
Matt hadn’t just bailed on the team. He’d bailed on me . Me and the child we’d unintentionally conceived.
I walked back toward the Richards building, mulling over all the emotions that had hit me today. The nervousness of blurting out to Matt that I was pregnant. The waiting game before the meeting. The elation and high of wowing the Gammon people at that meeting. And now… this uneasiness. I didn’t know what would come next, but I wanted to have a clue of what to expect.
As I neared the building, I formed the best plan I could. Get my things, go home, and try to give Matt the space he clearly needed to wrap his head around the fact that he’d be a father. That seemed like the best plan of action.
I flung my tote bag strap over my shoulder and started telling the others that I would talk to them tomorrow. Like me, they were all high on the triumph of a productive meeting and ready to relax for the rest of the day. There was no need to fix mistakes and work well into the night like last time.
I made it as far as the front lobby before he showed up.
Running, his suit jacket open and flapping with his speed, Matt directed his shout and attention to me. We met each other’s eyes across the lobby. Time stood still. Tense and waiting, we made eye contact like that, and I turned to walk the other way, out the side door, instead of facing him.
Anger boiled to the surface, and I was suddenly unwilling to hash this out now.
“Loren! Wait!”
“Hell no,” I muttered. If we were to speak now, I’d be unprofessional, rude, and stubborn. None of which I wanted to show here, where colleagues and coworkers could see or overhear.
“Loren!” His footsteps pounded closer. He wasn’t giving up. He wasn’t stopping.
He ran after me, chasing me all the way outside, but I refused to turn or acknowledge him. I would not . Being cool and unreachable, I kept my head lifted high and left the building.