Chapter 45
***Knight***
“Are we all going to take Gracie for her first day of school?” Kyrin sat behind Gracie on her bed, his face pinched in annoyance as he redid her braid for the third time.
“Of course, you are, silly.” Gracie played with a couple of dolls, making them walk along her legs as she failed to sit still for Kyrin. “That’s how you do it. Mommy and Daddy took me before. Mommy cried. Do you think Uncle Zander will cry?”
I laughed at the expression on Zander’s face. He shook his head and went back to reading the handbook for her new school.
“I bet if he does cry, he’ll hide it so well that you’ll never know.” I sat down in front of her and put her fuzzy socks on for her. “What about you? How are you feeling about it?”
The dolls stilled as Gracie thought hard about my question.
She’d learned to make a cute face while thinking and the scrunched up nose, pursed lips always made my chest ache with missing Aggie.
She’d made the same face and Gracie had picked it up in their short time together.
“I don’t know. I thought it would be different. ”
Zander sat forward and dangled the book between his knees. “What do you mean?”
“First, I thought Mommy and Daddy would be here.” She dropped the dolls entirely and rested her tiny hand on Kyrin’s leg.
“Then, I thought Aggie would be here. She never told me about her first day at her new school. After her mommy died, she moved like me. I want to ask her about stuff. I know I’m not supposed to talk about her, though. ”
“Gracie, you can talk about Aggie.” I cleared my throat and smiled. “Anytime you want, you talk about her.”
“It makes you sad.” She looked around at all three of us. “Everyone’s sad.”
Kyrin gently turned her so she could see his face as he spoke to her. “We are sad, but that’s adult stuff. We talked about adult stuff, remember? You don’t have to worry about it until you’re older.”
“Gracie, if you want to talk to us about Aggie, you should. We don’t want you to have things you hold inside. We’re all trying to be better uncles and we want to listen to everything you’re thinking about.” Zander tossed the book aside and walked over to scoop Gracie into his arms. “Agree?”
She giggled when he dipped her upside down. “Uncle Zan! Okay, okay!”
“How about we stop by the special donut shop in the morning? You can get whatever you want.” He hugged her close and then dropped her on the bed, smiling as she bounced.
“Even a unicorn donut with mermaid sprinkles?” Gracie giggled. “I love you, Uncle Zan.”
Kyrin scoffed and tickled her. “What about me, munchkin? You love me?”
She squealed and laughed. “I love you! I love you, too, Uncle Knight!”
Kyrin grunted and patted her belly. “That’s what I thought.”
“Call me butterfly.” Gracie grabbed her dolls and dragged them under the covers with her. “Like Aggie.”
I forced my face to stay neutral. “Why’d she call you that?”
“She said it’s ‘cause I’m pretty like one and cause I can change the world with my wings.” Gracie smiled so wide that we could see the back tooth she’d lost the week before. “Aggie said I can be president if I want.”
I looked at my brothers, waiting on one of them to say something. My insides were twisted up as I thought of the way we’d treated the woman who’d done nothing but build our niece up and care about her so deeply that Gracie couldn’t forget her.
“She also said I can run your company one day and that I’d do it better, cause I’m a girl.”
The surprise bit of Aggie that seemed so present in the room with us made us laugh, despite the weight on our chests. Zander made quick work of tucking Gracie in and tapped her nose. “Aggie’s a very smart woman. She knows what she’s talking about.”
“I know. She told me.”
I was still torn between laughing and giving into the need to drink myself numb when we got downstairs. The house was too much like the tomb Jamie had called it those days. Once Gracie was out of earshot, we all resorted back to letting the silence and missing Aggie win.
Not even the pleasure of firing the man who’d caused some of the mess we were in had cheered us up.
Our top strategist, Brian Vance, hadn’t been as loyal as we’d thought.
All it had taken was Blake flashing a bigger salary to get him to go to the dark side.
I still didn’t get it. The man already made more than most of the other CEOs in the state, but greed had led him to betray our company and hurt Aggie in the process.
Sniffing him out hadn’t been hard after I knew to look for the deception. It gutted me to know that it would’ve taken Aggie mere seconds to see it, most likely. Even things like that, thinking of her being better than me, made my gut churn with a deep ache for her.
Watching Brian be dragged out by security in a public display of shame after nearly getting his life ended by the three of us hadn’t even brought a smile to my face.
The snake was out of the hen house, but the hen was already gone, so what did it matter?
If I was being honest with myself, I hadn’t even been able to muster up all that much anger at Brian.
He’d laid the trap for Blake, but we’d taken the bait.
We’d said those things to Aggie and we’d thrown her out of the house.
I sighed and dragged my hands over my face. Alcohol it was. I needed to numb myself or I’d spent another sleepless night thinking about Aggie’s pain filled eyes.
Halfway to the bar, I stopped short when Mary screamed from the front of the house. Not knowing what to expect, I ran towards her voice. “Mary? What’s wrong?”
She was gripping a sheet of notebook paper in one hand and an envelope in the other. Big tears had formed in her eyes and she looked like she was going to break down at any moment, but then she screamed again and jumped up and down. “It happened!”
Kyrin leaned against the kitchen counter. “Jesus, Mary. You gave me a heart attack. What happened?”
“She’s pregnant!” Realizing she’d blurted out too much, she slapped the paper over her mouth.
“Sorry! I just... I open all the mail for the house and I didn’t see that this one was special.
I opened it and I couldn’t stop reading it once I saw it was from her.
It’s amazing, though. I prayed that she’d stay and it all worked out in a weird way, but she has to come back now! ”
Zander grabbed the paper from Mary’s shaking hands and scanned it. The blood drained from his face and he sat heavily on the stool behind him.
“What’s it say?” My stomach was already sinking. If it was good news, Zander was burying the lede, because he looked like death warmed over. “Zander?”
Kyrin took the paper and read aloud. “I couldn’t find a card anywhere that fit this exact situation.
Maybe I’ll write to Hallmark next to suggest they flesh out their knocked-up announcement section.
How else am I supposed to do this? It seems like I’m clueless when it comes to you three. I’m pregnant.”
I snatched the paper as he stopped reading.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen. God knows I’m not ready.
That doesn’t matter now, though. Turns out fear and self-pity don’t slow down pregnancy.
I don’t need anything from you. I’m not asking for anything.
If you decide you don’t want this, your responsibility can end there.
I would never take away your chance to know your child, if that’s what you want, though.
I won’t pretend like it wouldn’t be hard, but it’s the right thing.
I’m due in seven months, give or take. Maybe by then, things won’t be awkward if we see each other. ”
Zander absently spoke the next lines, the lines that seemed to be playing over and over in his head.
“I’m not sure how to end this. If you decide you want to be a part of this, you have time to prepare.
There’s no reason for you three to be involved until there’s an actual living thing to share between us. See you in seven months. Or not.”
“She signed it yours, Aggie, and then crossed out yours.” I slapped the letter down on the island and scowled at Mary. “What about that made you think she would be coming back?”
Mary rolled her eyes. “I know you three. I got to know Aggie, too, and I saw the way she looked at each of you. She loves you. You were all dumb shits, but love can be bigger than anything, if you let it be.”