Chapter 12
Sierra
“Are you sure that you’re okay with living at Asher’s ranch?” Reese asked as we finished our coffee.
The guys had been gone for a while, fixing Silas’s dishwasher, and Silas was sorting out a delivery in his office.
Reese and I had been chatting like old friends, and I’d enjoyed every moment of our talk.
I shrugged. “I think I’ll be lucky to live in a place like Asher’s. It’s a lot better than the sad apartment I have in Billings. I can save some money, too.”
She shook her head slowly. “You two really do get along, don’t you?”
“That surprises you?” I asked curiously.
“Maybe not,” she answered. “You seem pretty nice, but Asher doesn’t like people.”
“I don’t think he hates people,” I mused, wondering how to explain without sharing too much of his personal business.
“I think he has issues he needs to work on, but I honestly think he’s been lonely.
I doubt he’ll ever admit that, but he’s doing really well at getting out again.
It might take some practice, but I think he’s actually going to enjoy getting out of the house more. We’re going to work on that.”
“You’re attracted to him,” she mentioned casually. “I’m a woman. It’s hard for me to miss the way you look at him sometimes.”
My cheeks heated. “God, am I that obvious?”
“Probably not to everyone. You hide it pretty well. But I’m crazy about my husband, so I notice.”
I sighed. “Who wouldn’t be attracted to Asher? He’s hot, and we’re getting to know each other a little better. His communication sucks sometimes, but he’s a good man.”
“I noticed,” Reese answered. “He didn’t have to offer to fix Silas’s dishwasher. That was really thoughtful.”
“Believe it or not, he can be a thoughtful guy, but he hides it well,” I informed her.
“Really well,” she agreed. “But I think I’m starting to see a part of Asher that I didn’t know existed. He was worried about you when you were in the middle of your migraine. That phone call from him threw me for a loop.”
“He worries about me,” I admitted. “That doesn’t feel normal to me most of the time.”
“Bad relationships?” she asked empathetically.
“Yes,” I replied simply.
“It’s a little overwhelming at first, but it’s incredible once you get used to it.”
“Asher and I aren’t romantic like you and Devon,” I assured her in a rush. “I think we’re becoming…friends.”
He might be my hottest sexual fantasy, but that was never going to happen.
Reese smirked. “No offense, but Asher doesn’t look at you like a friend. He looks at you like a woman he wants to get naked. Desperately. You look at him the same way.”
I sighed. “I’m attracted to him, and I think he might be physically attracted to me, but the timing isn’t good. My life is…complicated. And Asher has other priorities right now.”
“Does he?” she asked in a teasing voice. “Because he looks like exploring that attraction might be a really big priority for him.”
“He’s my boss, Reese, and he’s helping me a lot. I’m going to be able to save a lot of money when I’m living with him, and he’s paying me a very good salary for what I do on the ranch. I don’t want to screw that up. He’s starting to trust me, and that trust means a lot to me.”
“I get that,” she said. “But what happens if you fall for him someday?”
I shook my head adamantly. “I won’t. I’m not looking for a relationship or for love. That hasn’t been on my radar for a long time. I live in the real world.”
“Has it been that bad?” she asked softly. “You sound like a woman who’s been hurt pretty badly.”
“I’ve learned a lot of lessons the hard way,” I replied. “I don’t ever want to go there again.”
“If you ever want to talk about it—”
“I don’t,” I said hurriedly. “I’ve been trying to leave my past behind.
Some really bad things happened, Reese. I made some bad decisions.
I’m trying to get my life together again.
I’m an artist. Right now, I’m mostly an out-of-work artist, but I had a good career as a children’s book illustrator at one time.
I’m doing my best to reestablish that career. ”
Reese’s eyes widened. “You and Millie have a lot in common.”
I snorted. “Millie Remington is a master artist and a legend. I do watercolor illustrations.”
Millie Remington was famous, probably the most sought-after Western artist on the planet.
She shrugged. “Does it matter? You both have a passion for art.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, because it was true.
I was passionate about my art.
“Can I see your work?” Reese asked.
I gave her my website and she brought it up on her phone.
We were quiet for a few minutes as Reese studied my illustrations.
“You’re good,” Reese said as she stared at her phone. “Really, really good.”
“Thanks,” I said gratefully. “I’m starting on a new project, so I’ll probably add more to the website soon. Some of the illustrations there are several years old.”
“I want to ask why you’d give this up when you obviously love doing it and have a tremendous amount of talent, but I won’t. I’m thinking that’s something you don’t want to talk about, either.”
“Not right now,” I said with regret in my tone. “I want to stay upbeat and focus on doing the best work I can do. My past isn’t ruling my life anymore. Maybe it will be easier to talk about it someday.”
Reese studied my face. “You went through some of the same things as Asher, didn’t you? That’s why the two of you get along so well. You understand what he’s going through.”
“Yes,” I confessed. “I had bad PTSD from a really traumatic event about three years ago. My migraines are post-traumatic migraines. I never had a migraine until my life fell apart. I went through years of therapy to get my head back together again. I thought the headaches were over. I was surprised when I got one again. It’s been over a year now since I’ve had one. ”
“I’m sure PTSD is a big part of Asher’s problem,” Reese said. “Devon and I have talked about it. He doesn’t like to be touched, and he doesn’t do well with crowds or people.”
“I think so,” I said noncommittally. “I think it’s delayed-onset PTSD from his childhood, but I’m not a medical person or a psychologist. That’s just a guess.”
She nodded. “That makes sense. No wonder he’s isolated himself so much. I’m not sure exactly what Cole and Asher went through as children, but I’m sure it was horrible.”
“He’s getting better,” I told her, wanting her to have some hope that Asher would be part of the Remington family someday.
She lifted a brow. “He’s getting treatment.”
“I can’t really confirm or deny that,” I said lightly.
“I think you know,” she said teasingly. “But I understand why you don’t want to betray his trust. I think just having you around helps him, Sierra. He seems to trust you.”
“I’m not sure why it helps, but I think you’re right,” I admitted.
“There’s a tranquility about you,” Reese considered. “A calmness that probably makes him want to be close to you. You’re sweet and upbeat. Asher needs that.”
“I’m no angel,” I said in an amused tone.
She winked at me. “I’m sure you’re not. If you were really an angel, you wouldn’t be having lustful thoughts about Asher.”
“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I requested in a pleading voice.
“I’d never do that,” Reese confirmed. “But Devon will notice. I think Millie and the rest of the Remingtons will, too. They all know what it’s like to be crazy about someone.”
“Hopefully not,” I said emphatically, noting to myself that I really needed to stop ogling Asher.
“What are you two doing out here?” Devon asked as he and Asher entered the room.
“Are you done?” Reese asked as she smiled at her husband.
Devon grinned back at her like she was the only person in the room.
I loved the way Devon and Reese were together.
The adoration between the two of them was on display every moment that they were together.
Devon shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t really do anything. I kept Asher company.”
“My hero,” Reese said with a sigh as Devon kissed her temple. “I guess I should get to work.”
“We’re headed to Billings,” Asher said as Reese and I slid off our stools at the bar. “We’ll see you both later.”
“You should both have dinner with us sometime,” Reese said enthusiastically.
“Or you could come to Asher’s place,” I offered, without thinking about my words first. “I love to cook.”
Embarrassed because I’d just invited his cousin and his wife to Asher’s home, I turned my gaze to his to try to silently apologize.
It wasn’t my house.
It wasn’t my place to invite people to his home.
Asher smiled, and I knew that he was aware that I was embarrassed. “I’m not a cook, but I’ll cut vegetables or something.”
I let out a relieved breath and shot him a contrite look.
“You have my number,” Reese said as she and Devon headed toward the exit. “Call me.”
I didn’t move toward the door after Devon and Reese had departed.
“I’m so sorry,” I said in a mortified voice. “That was an incredibly thoughtless thing to do. I wasn’t thinking—”
“Don’t,” Asher said in a graveled tone. “You’re going to be living at my ranch. It will be your home, too. Besides, I think I’m starting to like Devon. I would have accepted an invitation to have dinner with them if you were up for it, and I’m all for having them at the ranch.”
“I like them, too,” I said in a more relaxed voice, grateful that I hadn’t completely overstepped his boundaries.
“Ready?” he asked as he motioned to the door.
“Are we going to say goodbye to Silas?” I questioned.
Asher shook his head. “He’s focused on his delivery. I stuck my head into his office to tell him that I was done. I’m not sure he even heard me.”
I smiled. “We’ll talk to him later. I’m not sure how long I can go without another one of those cinnamon rolls.”
The pastry had been one of the best things I’d ever tasted.
“We’ll come back,” he promised as he followed me to the door. “Let’s get you moved out of that apartment.”
My heart lifted as I walked out of the Mug and Jug.
I had a funny feeling that my life was about to change for the better.