Chapter 11
Reese
“I ’ll have the usual, Silas,” I told the older man as I sat on a barstool at The Mug And Jug. “And a decaf for Hannah, please.”
It had just become habit for me to stop at The Mug And Jug at least two days a week for coffee before I went to the office.
Hannah and I were both addicted to Silas’s mocha lattes, but hers had to be decaf due to her pregnancy.
Today was Wednesday, and it was one of those days that I really needed a coffee to take to work.
“You alone?” Silas asked as he started making my coffees with a lot more pep than most people his age. “Where’s that young man of yours today?”
I sent him a chastising look, but he just grinned back at me.
“You know he’s not my young man,” I said teasingly. “And Devon is in Los Angeles on business this week.”
It had been over two weeks since that crazy kiss we’d shared, and I’d thought things would be awkward between us, but it actually didn’t turn out that way. We’d gotten even closer as friends, and he met me here in the morning when I was stopping for coffee. I was fairly sure he was almost always here at The Mug And Jug before he went to work anyway.
Unfortunately, I was almost certain that two large cinnamon rolls and a coffee were his usual breakfast items during the work week.
It was almost criminal that he could manage to stay so fit on the diet he ate, but he worked out pretty hard in the evenings. He pushed himself a lot harder than I did. And he was pretty active with community and home tasks that needed to be done when he had the time to spare.
Devon had left Sunday evening in his private jet so he could be ready for an early meeting in Los Angeles on Monday.
One of his brothers usually dropped him off so he didn’t have to leave a vehicle at the remote airstrip, but I’d insisted on doing it to help him out.
He’d texted me Sunday evening to let me know he was there safely.
We’d started exchanging text messages during the day just to share something funny or just to say good morning and goodnight.
I wasn’t exactly sure how that had started, but it was normal for us now to share things sometimes during the day.
“You miss him?” Silas asked gruffly.
I nodded. “He’s become a good friend.”
“Do you want my advice?” Silas asked as he put a lid on my coffee and started Hannah’s.
I smiled at the older man, knowing he was going to give me that advice, whether I wanted it…or not.
Honestly, I didn’t mind. There was a lot of wisdom in most of his words that some people probably didn’t notice because Silas tended to give his advice very freely and often.
“I’ve known Devon since the day that boy was born,” Silas explained. “I’ve never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you. I think you feel the same way. Go after what you want and don’t end up living with regrets. Life is too short for that. I told him the same thing.”
Okay, he must have chatted with Devon on one of the days that I wasn’t here. “Silas, we’re friends. You know Devon doesn’t do committed relationships, and I respect that decision.”
“Nah,” Silas responded. “That’s a big bunch of horse manure. That was his choice for years, but the right woman can change everything for a man. It’s not like he’s not capable of doing it. He’s just chosen not to because he’s never met the right one. I don’t know what happened to that boy, and it really doesn’t matter. But he doesn’t trust easily. Behind his jokes and his cynicism, he’s just a regular guy. He really doesn’t want to end up alone. He’s just chosen not to trust anyone, so he’s convinced himself that he can’t or doesn’t want to commit.”
I winced a little when he’d mentioned the fact that Devon didn’t trust easily.
I knew that was true, and I was the last woman that he should trust.
I’d been living a lie since the moment I’d driven into town months ago.
Guilt gnawed at me relentlessly every single day.
The closer I got to people in this town, the guiltier I felt.
The closer I got to Devon the more I’d realized that something probably had happened to bring on the distrusting, cynical side of his personality. It definitely wasn’t part of his nature. He’d been raised by the same parents as Tanner and Kaleb. By all accounts, he’d had an incredible childhood.
However, I couldn’t expect him to share his secrets when I couldn’t share mine.
He had a right to hold back whatever he wanted from me.
And he had absolutely no reason to trust me.
“He trusts you,” Silas said like he’d just read my mind.
I lifted a brow. “How do you know that?”
“What man gives a woman he doesn’t trust a key to his mansion?” he asked.
My eyes widened even more. “How do you know I have a key to his place?”
Devon had given me the key to his home so I could go there after work to use the gym and the pool while he was gone.
He actually locked his doors when he was away.
Silas grinned. “Someone saw you heading out toward his place yesterday after work. Word gets around here pretty quickly.”
“Then you already knew he was out of town,” I said suspiciously.
He nodded. “I knew. I was just giving you a hard time about Devon because I know that you two are sweet on each other. Everyone knows everything that happens here. People have been talking about you two for weeks now.”
“We’re not—”
“You are,” Silas said, cutting off my protest. “You’re both just too hardheaded to realize it yet. And please don’t give me the excuse that you’re just friends. You’re both romantically interested. I just can’t figure out why you’re not dating. Do you want to fill me in?”
No. No, I really didn’t want to explain that. “It’s complicated, Silas,” I muttered.
“Life is complicated, Reese,” he said wryly. “Look, I know you didn’t come here because you were longing to live in Crystal Fork, Montana. My guess is you’re running away from something. But whatever that is, don’t let it ruin something that could be good for you.”
God, I really wished that I could just tell him why Devon and I couldn’t be together, even if Devon decided he wanted some kind of relationship, but that wasn’t possible.
I knew Silas was trying to help me, and I was grateful that he cared enough to try, but there was no help for my situation right now.
I shot him a small smile. “Thanks for the advice.”
What else could I say?
“Just tell me this,” Silas requested. “Do you ever plan on telling Devon that you’re interested?”
I stopped trying to pretend that Devon was just a friend. Silas obviously knew that there was some kind of chemistry between the two of us. “I care about him” I said honestly. “But I’m not sure what the future holds for me.”
Silas snorted. “It will hold happiness if you’d give that boy a nudge. I don’t think it would take much. He already talks about you like he thinks everything you do for him is a miracle. And I might be old, but I’m still a man. I can see when another man is attracted to a woman. Take your time but do me a favor and don’t hurt him. Something tells me that boy has already seen a world of hurt in his past.”
My heart ached at his words because I knew he was probably right. “I would never intentionally hurt, Devon. He means the world to me.”
That much was absolutely true.
In a brief period of time, Devon had wormed his way into my heart, and I had a feeling if anyone was going to end up hurt, it was going to be me.
Yes, I knew that Devon was attracted to me, but I didn’t think he was interested in having a real relationship.
Even if he was interested and had changed his mind about dating, I couldn’t date anyone at this point in my life.
“Glad to hear that,” Silas said with a grin. “Your coffee is ready. Cinnamon roll?”
I looked longingly at the tray of sweets on the bar.
I’d managed to drop two pounds, and that delicious cinnamon roll was full of calories.
“Life is short. Have a cinnamon roll,” Silas teased. “You know you want it.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay, give me one. I’ll split it with Hannah. She’s still craving sweets. She’ll love it, too.”
Hannah had tried so hard to resist those cravings, so she didn’t have a lot of baby weight once her pregnancy was over. Her cravings had been out of control during her second trimester, but the craving for anything and everything was starting to subside now that she was in her third trimester. The only thing she couldn’t quite get under control was her craving for sweets.
I knew that she was eating pretty healthy, so half a cinnamon roll wasn’t going to hurt her.
I watched as Silas boxed up the treat, put it in a bag and added two forks to the bag.
I started to dig in my purse, but Silas shook his head. “I’ll put it on your tab.”
I nodded. Although the whole concept of having a tab somewhere was foreign to me, that was the way Silas operated.
Strangely, my tab was never as much as I thought it should be at the end of every month.
He’d always waved me off and said that I got a frequent visitor discount.
My guess was that he was a big softie and gave working women a significant discount.
“You’re the best,” I said as I took the bag and gave him a peck on the cheek.
I really did adore Silas, even his unrequested advice.
He always meant well, and he genuinely cared about the people in Crystal Fork.
He sent me a mischievous smile. “If that’s true, then forget about Devon and go out on a date with me.”
I was used to his mock flirtatiousness, so I wasn’t surprised by the comment. “You’re too much of a player for me, Silas. But I adore you.”
“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he grumbled as he handed me the coffees.
“Have a good day. Take care of yourself and don’t forget that nutrition shake with lunch,” I called out as I headed for the door.
The doctor had told Silas that he was lacking the proper nutrition for a man his age, so he’d insisted on supplements.
He’d hated the taste of it, so he’d refused to drink it.
I’d found him one that tasted better than the one the doctors had suggested, and he’d finally started to drink it every day.
“I’ll drink it,” he promised. “It tastes a lot better than the awful stuff the doctor gave me. It tastes even better with a little ice cream.”
I laughed as I headed out the door.
At Silas’s age, I wasn’t about to scold about adding ice cream to the drink.
He had zero issues with his blood sugar.
He was getting what he needed nutritionally.
If he wanted it with ice cream, he deserved it for getting down a supplement he really didn’t want to take.
Hannah wasn’t in the office yet when I got there, but I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before she arrived.
My phone pinged with a text right as I was putting the coffee and cinnamon roll on my desk.
I smiled as I read it.
Devon: Please don’t tell me that you got coffee from The Mug And Jug this morning. I’d have to be jealous. I’m going through withdrawals this morning, and I need a damn cinnamon roll.
Me: I’m staring at the mocha lattes I got for me and Hannah right now. And the cinnamon roll we’re going to split. I know. I suck. But I don’t feel guilty. You’re in Los Angeles where you can get anything your stomach desires.
As we bantered back in forth by text, my heart ached just a little because I really did miss Devon. I’d become so used to him being part of my life that it just didn’t feel right when we weren’t doing things together in the evening. We’d never really stuck to the three times a week thing. We were together almost every weeknight and on Saturday.
Stop it, Reese. He’ll be back on Friday.
The spring fundraiser was coming up this Saturday, so he was going to make it a point to get back as early as possible on Friday to help out.
I’d live until I saw his handsome face again.
I tried not to think too far into the future.
After all, I probably wouldn’t stay in Crystal Fork forever, and there would come a day when I’d never see his gorgeous face again . Ever.
Because that thought hurt so badly, I quickly pushed it out of my head.
I had to live one day at a time right now, and I’d deal with that situation when it happened.