Chapter 28
Tanner
I wrapped my arms around Hannah’s waist and leaned my forehead on her shoulder.
My heart was galloping about a thousand miles a minute, but my body was so satisfied that I couldn’t make myself move.
Fuck! I loved this woman with a fierce possessiveness that made me completely insane.
Hannah was mine.
And that made me feel like the luckiest asshole who ever walked the face of the earth.
“Marry me, Hannah,” I said as my heart rate slowed down again. “Put me out of my misery and marry me. We don’t need two separate places. I want to be with you every moment I possibly can.”
“Tanner,” she whispered as she wiggled out of my grip and straightened her body.
I let go of her reluctantly and looked at her face as she smoothed her dress back down.
She looked shocked.
And then she looked puzzled.
Finally, I saw a tear start to roll down her face, and it almost gutted me.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” she said as she swiped the tear from her face.
“Why?” I asked, confused. “I thought it was pretty clear what I wanted.”
Okay, so I’d never mentioned marriage.
Until today, I’d never mentioned living together, either, but it’s what I’d wanted almost from day one.
“We’ve been so happy,” she said tearfully. “But—”
“You don’t want to marry me,” I said gruffly as I fastened my pants back into place.
The knot that had been sitting in my gut tightened so hard and fast that it almost made me double over.
It had never occurred to me that Hannah didn’t want exactly the same thing I did.
“Tanner, I—”
Her statement was interrupted by the loud dinging of the elevator outside my office door.
Hannah’s eyes widened, and she scampered to grab the pieces of her underwear on the floor and stuffed them in her purse.
“Tanner,” Devon bellowed from outside my door. “When in the hell did you start locking your office?”
“Oh, God,” Hannah said, her face a little panicked. “We’ll talk later, Tanner.”
That wasn’t a good sign.
I knew Hannah.
If she really wanted to marry me, she would have flung herself into my arms and said yes immediately.
“Never mind,” I said stoically. “I won’t throw that suggestion toward you again.”
I felt like a dog with a wounded paw, and I wasn’t about to let anyone touch that wound again.
I knew I was reacting like an idiot, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from going into a defensive mode.
Hannah was the one person in my life who could completely destroy me, and I’d obviously misread every one of her actions during the last few months.
How was a guy supposed to handle that?
Hannah flinched as Devon pounded on the door. “Open the door, Tanner. I want to make sure you’re still alive.”
“I’ll just…go,” Hannah said as she grabbed her bag. “You have an important meeting today. Please eat.”
“Hannah?” I said hoarsely as she scrambled toward the door.
When she turned back, tears were rolling down her face so fast there was no way she could swipe them away this time.
I wanted to ask if her answer was definitely a no to my suggestion of getting married, but when I saw those tears, I didn’t need that answer.
For some reason, Hannah didn’t want to marry me.
Hell, we hadn’t even said that we loved each other.
Had I gotten everything that had happened between the two of us so damn wrong?
“What?” she prompted.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”
I needed some time to think, and to come to terms with the fact that she didn’t want to get married.
She nodded as she tried to rub the tears from her face before she finally unlocked the door.
Once it was open, she fled like her ass was on fire.
Devon’s eyes widened as he watched Hannah step into the open elevator door, and punch the control pad.
As soon as the elevator door closed, he strode into my office. “What in the hell just happened?” he demanded to know. “Hannah looked like she was crying, and she’s never not smiled at me and thrown herself into my arms when she sees me.”
“She brought lunch,” I said tightly as I waved toward the food on my desk.
Devon surveyed the items. “It doesn’t look like you two touched the food.”
He started opening the containers, walked to the microwave, and popped what looked like lasagna into it. “You should eat,” he said seriously. “Although honestly, you look like you could really use a stiff drink. What happened?”
“I think Hannah and I just broke up,” I said morosely.
Devon shook his head. “No, you didn’t,” he said like he didn’t have a doubt in his mind that what he was saying was the truth. “I’m thinking you had a disagreement, but you two are never breaking up.”
I plopped my ass into my chair behind my desk, still confused. “I told her I wanted to get married. She didn’t seem so crazy about the idea.”
“Just like that?” Devon asked. “You just told her you wanted to get married? Don’t you think that’s a little…abrupt. And where in the hell is the romantic proposal and the ring she deserves?”
Since I wasn’t about to tell Devon that I’d fucked Hannah senseless in my office, and that it was a statement that I made in the heat of the moment, I simply said, “I fucked up.”
“Why was Hannah crying?” he asked as he took the container out of the microwave.
“I’m assuming it was because she didn’t want to marry me, and didn’t really want to tell me that,” I replied as I watched Devon take the food out of the microwave, curse because he burned his finger, and then plop the hot food in front of me.
“Eat,” he demanded as he handed me a fork from the bag. “I think your brain is lacking some essential nutrients right now.”
He took a seat in a chair in front of the desk before he continued, “Start from the beginning. I know that Hannah wasn’t breaking up with you. Let’s figure this out. Although I must say, your proposal delivery doesn’t sound very promising. I don’t think I’d want to marry you, either.”
If I wasn’t completely miserable, I’d probably find it amusing that my little brother was actually trying to take care of me .
“I didn’t exactly ask her,” I confessed before I took a bite of the lasagna.
Since Hannah had gone to the trouble of bringing the food, I thought I should probably eat it.
I was also pretty certain that Devon would force feed me right now if necessary.
Devon folded his arms over his chest and glared at me. “Has anyone informed you that it’s customary to ask?”
“It was a spontaneous thing,” I grumbled. “I suddenly realized that it didn’t make sense for us to have two separate places anymore. I told her to marry me and put me out of my misery.”
“Very smooth,” Devon said drily. “At any time during this romantic revelation, did you happen to tell her that you loved her?”
I shook my head as I swallowed another bite of my food. “It didn’t come up.”
“But you have told her, right?” he asked.
“Not exactly,” I said defensively. “But she knows.”
Devon let out a disgusted sound. “There’s a certain order to love and romance,” he told me. “First you tell her you love her, and then you do the romantic proposal.”
I lifted a brow. “What in the hell do you know about real love and romance. You date plenty of women, but you’ve never gotten serious.”
“I know because I watched our father romance our mother until the day he died. He’d have your ass for this, you know.”
Hell, Devon was probably right.
Dad had been a quiet man, but he’d believed in soulmates, love, and romance. The romance had never stopped for my parents.
“Mom loved Dad enough to marry him,” I reminded Devon.
“Come on, Tanner,” Devon said in a pissed off voice. “Do you really believe that Hannah doesn’t love you? She went out of her way to bring you food because she knows you don’t eat when you’re stressed out. Who does that? It’s the little things sometimes that tell you that someone loves you. Did she actually tell you that she didn’t want to marry you?”
I thought for a minute. “Not exactly. She said she wasn’t expecting me to talk about that. It sounded like a no to me. She didn’t even know what to say.”
“Maybe because you did everything ass backwards,” he said unhappily. “Give her some time to digest the whole marriage thing. She did plan one marriage that never happened because you couldn’t commit to a date. Maybe she had a kneejerk reaction. Give her some time to digest the fact that you want that now, and for fuck’s sake, set a date when you ask her next time. And tell her that you love her before you pop the question. I know you put the past behind you, but it may bite you in the ass occasionally.”
I stopped eating and put my fork on the plate. “I didn’t really think about that. I’ve always wanted to marry Hannah.”
“I know. We lost our minds for a while. She forgave you for that, Tanner. Cut her some slack. Your comment obviously came out of nowhere. You probably surprised the crap out of her. You’re reacting defensively right now because you can’t imagine your life without Hannah anymore. I’m not sure you ever could, which is why you refused to talk about it when you broke up.”
I’d actually closed off that part of my life until I was ready to deal with it.
Apparently, I’d never wanted to deal with the fact that Hannah was gone.
“If she wasn’t trying to break up,” I mused. “Then why was she crying?”
Devon shrugged. “I don’t have that answer. You’ll have to ask her. You obviously hurt her in some way, but she wasn’t crying because she wants to break up. Were you honestly planning on just letting her walk away?”
“I was a little cold. It was a stupid, defensive reaction,” I admitted. “But hell, no, I don’t plan on letting her go. That’s not possible unless she tells me to my face to fuck off.”
After I had thought about it for a while, I would have sought Hannah out, tried to get answers from her.
Maybe I did get defensive because I’d been hurt by her reaction, but I’d always find Hannah because that was just what I did now.
I couldn’t know that she was on the same planet with me without looking for her and finding her now.
If she didn’t want to marry me right now, I’d fucking wait until she did.
I’d probably been waiting for years for her to come back into my life somehow.
I could just wait until she was ready to marry my sorry ass.
She hadn’t really broken up with me.
Like an idiot, I’d just refused to let her talk because I wasn’t ready to hear that she didn’t want to get married.
“I was a prick,” I admitted to Devon.
“I figured,” he replied. “In all fairness, she did leave you once without a word. I think it makes sense that you’re afraid it will happen again.”
“Maybe subconsciously,” I answered. “But realistically, that’s not going to happen. Hannah is a different woman now, and she had her reasons back then. She’d force me to listen to her.”
“And you’re a different guy,” Devon reminded me. “You would listen to her.”
“I’ll fix this,” I vowed to Devon.
“Give her some time,” he encouraged. “She looked pretty upset.”
“Which is exactly why I’m going to find her,” I told him.
I was over that ridiculous reaction I’d had just a short time ago.
I’d handle whatever Hannah had to say, and I’d work with it.
There was no way in hell I was going to let her go unless that was exactly what she wanted.
“Hello?” Devon said like I was a simpleton. “We have an important meeting shortly. Text her or call her. And then get your ass to the meeting. This acquisition is important to you. You know she’s headed back to work right now anyway. You’ll see her tonight.”
Would I see her tonight?
I’d basically blown her off earlier.
Hell, yes, I’d see her.
I’d text as soon as I got my head on straight, but I’d definitely see her tonight.