4. Tanya
4
TANYA
I have an early shift at the café this morning. As I make my way behind the counter and into the back, I curse Kayla in my head. I never should have let her talk me into going last night. Sophia was a bear to get up this morning because she went to sleep so late last night. I did get some satisfaction when I rang Kayla’s doorbell and woke her up so I could drop Sophia off. I know they both probably went back to sleep, but small wins are still wins.
The café has already been open for thirty minutes when I arrive, and there are a couple of customers waiting to get their coffee and breakfast. Ms. Poppy is already taking people’s orders at the register, and there are two people working on the drink orders.
“Tanya, could you run things out to people? There is an order ready to go to that gentleman in the corner.”
“Sure, no problem.”
I finish tying the apron around my waist and pick up the coffee and chocolate chip muffin to take to the customer. When I step up next to him, he looks up at me and our eyes meet, making my breath catch in my throat.
He has Soph’s eyes.
He smiles at me, and I realize that I’ve just been standing here staring at him.
“Oh, sorry. Here is your coffee and muffin. Let me know if there is anything else you need.”
I turn quickly and make my way back to the safety of the counter. Ms. Poppy gives me a look.
“What was that about? Did his beauty dazzle you to the point that you forgot what you were doing?”
She smirks at me, and I roll my eyes.
I really need to stop doing that so Sophia stops rolling her eyes at me.
I glance at the stranger out of the corner of my eye. He is the first person in nine years that I have ever seen with the same sea blue eyes with a golden ring around the pupil. They’re the same shade as Sophia’s. I fiddle with the locket around my neck and lean back against the counter behind me. One of my coworkers comes up next to me to fill a cup with coffee.
“Why don’t you talk to him? He’s beyond attractive, and you haven’t been on a date in a while.”
I scoff at her. “I have an eight-year-old daughter at home; when exactly do you expect me to date? Plus, he’s not from around here.”
I glance back over at him, and just as I do, he looks up and our eyes lock again. He smiles at me, and I can feel my cheeks heat as I quickly look away. The girls laugh at my bashfulness, and I turn my back to the customers to stick my tongue out at them.
“Do you let Sophia see you do that?”
I laugh and turn around to walk the order I’m holding over to the couple that is sitting in the middle of the room. We’re hit with a constant flow of customers coming and going for the next hour, but the entire time I am hyperaware of the man with eyes like my daughter’s sitting by the window.
There is a tension in the air that has me on edge, and a tugging sensation in my chest that keeps me aware of him at all times. Once the flow of customers slows a bit, I take the chance to take a quick break in the back. I need a minute to breathe and escape the intense connection I feel toward a man I don’t know.
“Mommy!”
Sophia’s voice calling for me from the lobby makes me smile, and I go out to see what she and Kayla are up to. I plaster on a smile and work to ignore the man and focus on my daughter.
“Hey, you. What are you guys doing here? I figured you’d sleep at least until lunch.”
Sophia runs and jumps into my arms when I walk around the counter, and Kayla glares at me.
“We could have, but your mini me there is an early riser. I got her to sleep for another hour before she was bouncing off the walls to do something. We’re stopping in for one coffee and one chocolate milk.”
I kiss Sophia on the head, then set her down so I can make their drinks. Sophia comes to help me, and I see Kayla look around before her eyes land on the strange man and she smiles.
“Hey, you. Did you enjoy the gala last night?”
I turn to watch her approach the man, and he smiles politely at her.
“I did. All of my items sold, so that was a great ending to the night.”
I don’t hear what else they say as Soph pulls my attention back to her and the drink we are making. We get them made, and as Sophia carefully carries her drink back to the other side of the counter, I pack a few treats for them to take with them. I ring everything up under my employee ID and hand everything to Kayla as she and the man walk up to the counter.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Chandler. I’ve got to keep this one occupied while her mother works. Thanks, Tan. Sophia, say bye to your momma and Mr. Chandler.”
Sophia looks up at the man and smiles shyly at him. When he smiles back and waves at her, she blushes, and I’m shocked to see it. My girl is not usually shy. I watch as she grabs Kayla’s hand and shuffles closer to her side. Chandler watches her too, and his smile turns soft. He clears his throat, as if he’s overcome with emotions, and I can’t figure out why.
I wave at them as they leave to go do whatever Kayla has planned for the day, and once they are out the door, I turn to the man, Chandler, where he stands in line.
“Another coffee, sir?”
He smiles at me and my stomach flutters at the sight, he really is attractive. His dirty blonde hair is cut in a stylish fashion, the top longer than the sides. He has a sharp jawline that makes me want to drool, and from the way his clothes fit his tall form, I can tell he takes care of himself.
“Please, and another chocolate chip muffin. I have a concerning weakness for chocolate.”
I laugh nervously and put in his order before turning back to him. He’s close to me now, leaning toward me with his arms bracing his body as his hands are spread out on the counter. I can feel heat spread across my face again, and it bugs me that I’m blushing like a schoolgirl around him, like my eight-year-old daughter did.
“This is a nice café. I’ve never been to Willow Creek before last night, and I’m surprised by how much I like it.”
“Where are you from?”
“I live in the city, I only flew in for the gala, never had a reason to travel here before. Though, that may change.”
He looks intensely at me, his eyes darken, and he won’t look away. I have to clear my throat at the feel of the heat that is coming from his eyes.
“You met Kayla last night at the gala? What made you stay around?”
He pauses and a strange look crosses his face.
“I was there because of some connections I have. They know I like to donate to educational causes, and I decided to check the town out.”
I nod in understanding, and there is an awkward silence before his order is ready and I turn to grab it for him.
“Here you go. Is there anything else I can get for you?”
I give him my customer service smile and clasp my hands in front of me. He’s making me nervous, and I just want him to go sit down.
“What time are you done here today?”
I’m taken aback by his question.
“Uh, I’m done at one.”
He nods.
“When you clock out, come sit with me. I think we should talk.”
My brows come together at his words.
Is he hitting on me?
“Oh, um, I’m not sure. I have to pick up my daughter.”
His eyes spark, and he smiles at me. I don’t like that it’s his reaction to me, but I ignore it.
“What if I promise that what I have to say is going to be the most interesting thing I’m sure you’ve heard in a long time?”
I hum doubtfully in reply.
“You think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you?”
His smile widens, and it just ticks me off more.
“I do have a high opinion of myself, but that has nothing to do with what we need to talk about.”
I cross my arms over my chest, and his eyes catch on my locket. He puts his things back down on the counter and leans closer to me. I don’t move and just narrow my eyes at him.
“Come on, just sit with me for a little bit. We don’t have to leave here.”
I study him, his eyes and smile are soft, like he’s trying to show me that he isn’t a threat to just talk to.
“I guess I can talk for a few minutes.”
His smile widens, and he straights again, picking up his things.
“Great! I look forward to it.”
He turns and walks back to his seat, and I feel Ms. Poppy nudge me.
“What a hottie.”
I roll my eyes and prepare myself for the teasing that I know is going to happen.
I’m distracted for the rest of my shift. I kept giving the wrong orders to the wrong customers, and by the fifth time it happens, Ms. Poppy puts me behind the counter to make the orders instead.
Why does he want to talk to me?
I keep an eye on him while I work. He stays at the same table, working away on his laptop. He makes a few phone calls, but I can’t hear what he says to know what he does for work. He’s caught me watching him a couple of times, and every time he does, he smiles and winks at me, causing me to jerk my head away and a blush to spread across my face.
The girls tease me every time I blush. They are excited at the thought of me meeting a guy. I try to downplay it and tell them it doesn’t mean anything, but I don’t think they take me seriously.
My shift ends, and Ms. Poppy gives me a look.
“What?”
She places her hands on her hips, a dish towel hanging from one.
“Don’t let your fear stop you from making a connection.”
Another thing about this small town is the gossip. There isn’t a thing that can get by the older ladies of this town, and Ms. Poppy is the leading gossip. If there is something to know, you can count on them to have the information, and they will insert themselves and give their opinions without question.
“What if he’s just trying to get in my pants?”
She tilts her head back and laughs her hearty, booming laugh. Everyone in the café turns to look at her.
“Honey, would that be such a bad thing? You don’t get out much; it could help you relax.”
She waggles her eyebrows at me as I blush and roll my eyes at her.
I turn to look at him and try to make a list of pros and cons.
“You’re never going to know unless you get over there and talk to him. I’ll be right here the whole time, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”
I know she’s right; it’s just been a while since I’ve flirted with a guy.
What if I hate it? What if he’s a jerk?
I take a deep breath and straighten my back, roll my shoulders back, and walk over to this very attractive man. As I walk around the counter, I hear Ms. Poppy’s voice coming softly behind me.
“That’s my girl.”
My lips twitch with a smile. Ms. Poppy has become a maternal figure to me and her approval means the world to me. I step up next to Chandler, and he looks up at me with a smile before extending his hand to the empty chair across from him.
“Please, sit. I promise that I just want to talk.”
I slowly take a seat and pull out my phone.
“I need to text Kayla first to make sure she’s okay with my daughter.”
He nods, a serious look on his face as he gestures to my phone.
“Of course, go ahead.”
I send a quick message to Kayla telling her something came up and asking if she was good with Soph. She texts back with an all good and thumbs up emoji. I place my phone face down on the table and look to Chandler.
“So, you wanted to talk.”
My heart is beating so fast in my chest that I’m afraid it’s going to give out. I haven’t experienced this much excitement since Sophia was born. He crosses his arms on the table and leans closer to me.
“I do, but first, I want you to know that Kayla told me some of your story last night at the gala.”
She told him about me?
“And why would she do that?”
Kayla would never tell a stranger about me without talking to me first.
“She saw me looking at you and mentioned something about you having an interesting story; I simply asked her to tell me about it.”
That’s it? That’s all it took for my best friend to spill her guts about me?
I study his face, trying to figure out his motive behind all of this.
“I knew you years ago.”
My entire body tenses and freezes at his words.
“What?”
He nods his chin toward me, his eyes on the locket around my neck.
“I gave you that.”
I reach up and grab my locket in my hand, still staring at him.
“Prove it.”
He smirks at me before saying, “To my sweet Tanya, I’m ready to face the world with you. I love you. C.”
I’m at a loss for words. My chest feels tight, and I have the sudden urge to run.
“And why are you coming here now?”
I watch as the corners of his eyes tighten.
“I didn’t know what happened to you or where you were. Last night was the first time I even knew you were alive.”
Now that I know that I have a connection to him, the look on his face last night makes more sense. I had been confused about why this man had been looking at me the way he had been, I hadn’t been able to tell what his expression meant, but now I can see it for what it was, recognition.
His eyes are locked intensely on me, and his eye color catches my attention once again. Panic starts to fill my chest, and my breathing picks up.
I can barely get the next words out of my mouth, and they come out strangled and no louder than a whisper.
“You’re her father.”
His face turns serious, and I can see his jaw tick as he clenches his teeth before nodding once.
“At least, I believe I am. She looks a lot like me when I was a kid, but with darker hair and she’s around the right age.”
I know nothing about him, but something deep in my gut is telling me that he is her dad.
I still can’t talk above a whisper as I ask, “Are you here to take her?”
His eyes widen and he places a hand on the table in front of me, but I sit back, not wanting him to touch me.
“No! God, no. I would never do that. I didn’t even know about her until last night. I didn’t know you were pregnant when you disappeared.”
“Disappeared?”
It never occurred to me before now that there are people out there that have no idea what happened to me. That may be looking for me.
“I’m assuming because of Sophia’s existence that we were an item?”
His lips twist into a smirk, and I can tell he’s trying to fight it.
“We were. We were together for a year and living together.”
It is a lot of information to take in all at once, and I have so many questions that I don’t know where to start.
“So, the locket? Oh, you’re C?”
I open to look at the inscription again.
I look up to meet his eye again, and he’s staring at the locket in my hand with a look of grief. A feeling of compassion, along with a sense of guilt, hit me in the chest over the fact that I can’t remember anything about him. I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with the feelings that this man is bringing out in me. It’s not my fault I can’t remember him, but I still feel sympathetic for him. He lost his lover, and now he’s found her, me, yet I have no idea who he is.
It’s been a long time since I’ve wished that I could just wake up in the morning and have all my memories back.
“Everything is ready for you to come back home. I haven’t changed anything or gotten rid of any of your stuff, so when you come home, maybe it will jog something for you. I can set up some therapy appointments for you if you would like, to help you and Sophia get used to everything.”
Come back home?
I sit up straight.
“What do you mean come back home?”
He pauses mid-sentence and looks at me with a wary expression.
“Well, now that you know who you are and where you come from, I figured you would want to go back home. To where you belong.”
Everything is getting to be too much, and it’s getting hard to breathe. I frantically search around the room, the tables and chairs seem closer than ever, and the walls feel like they are slowly closing in on me. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself before speaking.
“Listen, I appreciate you approaching me and telling me who I am, but I’m not leaving with you. I still don’t know who you are. This is my home. This is where I’ve raised my daughter, and it’s all either of us know. For all I know, you could be lying. I’m not leaving. You can’t force to me leave.”
I’m feeling panicked, and I can’t be around him. I never thought I would end this day with my entire past being held out to me on a platter.
He looks irritated, and I prepare myself for an argument.
“Don’t you want to try and get your memories back? Being where you belong is the best way for that to happen.”
Anger surges through me, and I stand.
“I’ve given up on expecting them to come back; it’s been nine years, and I’ve built a life here. I’m not leaving just because you think I belong with you. I belong here, now I need to go pick up my daughter.”
I spin on my heel and rush out the door. The truth is I don’t know if I even want my memories to come back. I don’t know if I want to know who I was. I never thought I would have to choose to get them back or not.