6. Chandler
6
CHANDLER
I didn’t want to leave Willow Creek and Tanya and Sophia, but I had to get back for my meetings. I’m driving the rental car Jillian got for me back to the city, and the hour drive gives me time to process everything that has happened. It all seems like a dream. I never expected to find Tanya living in the same state as me, alive and well, and raising our daughter.
Josh is going to lose his mind.
I hit the speaker button on the wheel and tell the machine to call Josh. He answers after two rings, impressive for him.
“Why is Jillian telling me that we can’t schedule a lunch for today because you are still out of town? I thought you were only gone for a night. What kept you in Mayberry?”
“I found Tanya; she’s living in Willow Creek and has been this whole time.”
The line is silent on the other end, and I’m breathless from having said it out loud.
“Holy shit.”
I laugh, and it comes out sounding a little manic.
“My thoughts exactly.”
“So she did run?”
I don’t know why she was driving to Willow Creek without all her things.
“I don’t know what happened and neither does she. The day she disappeared, she was in a bad car accident and has been suffering from amnesia this whole time. She looked right at me and had no idea who I was, Josh.”
I replay that moment in my head as I wait for him to respond.
“She’s been living an hour away for nine years with amnesia?”
His tone is full of doubt, and it makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.
“Yes, I spoke with one of the nurses that took care of her. Apparently, it was a really bad accident. Oh, and that’s not all.”
“There’s more besides her just forgetting about her whole life?”
I ignore his sarcasm.
“She was pregnant with my daughter when she left. I have a beautiful eight-year-old daughter who looks just like I did as a kid.”
“Holy shit.”
I never thought I would see the day where Joshua Sanders would be at a loss for words.
“I know, her name is Sophia. In a matter of minutes, I found out that Tanya is alive and that I have a kid. It’s why I’m not back yet. I’m driving back now for some meetings, but I left her my number to get in contact with me. I bought them an apartment in my building; Tanya doesn’t feel comfortable yet to move back in, but I’m not going to let them get away.”
A thought starts to form, and I know that it will be the only way I can make sure that Tanya and Sophia will be with me from now on.
“Wait, slow down. How can you be sure that all of this is even true? Are you sure the kid is yours? Are you sure she really has amnesia? Why was she driving to Willow Creek in a car that wasn’t yours without all her things?”
I don’t like that he’s making it seem that Tanya is faking everything, and I’m not about to let him talk about her like that.
“ That kid is Sophia, and I’m sure. Why would she lie about it? Besides, once you meet her and see how much she looks like I did as a kid, you’ll see it. I have things that I need to get done. I’ll talk to you later this week.”
I hit the end button before he can say anything. For the rest of the drive, I make a few phone calls to move things around, mostly to Jillian. I want to make sure that I can come back to Willow Creek at the end of the week. I don’t want to give Tanya any time to doubt us, and I have a proposal for her.
Once I make it back to the office, I don’t have time to do any of my planning, let alone think. We had to move most of my meetings to this afternoon and tomorrow morning so that I can take Friday off.
I finally get a break around four, and I’m telling Jillian what to get me to eat since I haven’t had anything since this morning when my phone chimes with an incoming text. I absentmindedly pull my phone out and open it as I continuing telling Jillian what I want.
“Get a side of fries too, and whatever you want for yourself.”
I stop talking when I finally look down at my phone, and I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that expression on your face.”
I turn my phone so that Jillian can see the screen. It’s a picture of Sophia, smiling up at the camera, what looks like ice cream on her face. A message is under the photo.
Unknown number: I figured you’d like a picture of her.
“She’s adorable. She’s got your unique eyes.”
I bring the phone back down so I can look at the picture. I told Jillian everything on the drive here, and she was just as surprised as Josh. I quickly program Tanya’s number into my phone and turn my attention back to Jillian.
“When you get that order, I need you to come up with a plan on how to keep all of this out of the papers. Call the PR department and make them aware of the situation so they can run interference. I don’t want them to be surrounded by the paparazzi if I can help it.”
She nods and collects her things. As she exits my office, closing the door behind her, I hit the green call button next to Tanya’s name. Just as I think she’s not going to answer, her voice comes through the line.
“Hello?”
“Thank you for the picture. I love it.”
It’s an odd feeling, to be talking to Tanya on the phone again. I feel like a teenager talking to his crush for the first time.
“You’re welcome. I didn’t know if you would want it or not. I have more if you do.”
I lean back in my chair and turn to look out the window over the city.
“I would love whatever you want to send me.”
She awkwardly clears her throat.
“I also wanted to let you know that I will be telling her about everything this weekend. I can hold off until you can make it here before telling her about you, but I figured I’d get started on everything else.”
Nerves fill my stomach at the thought of telling Sophia I’m her dad so soon. I can’t help but wonder if she would be okay with it.
Would she even want me in her life?
“That’s actually perfect, I’ve cleared my day Friday and plan on driving down that morning.”
I don’t know why all of this feels so awkward, but I can’t get past the nerves; I wonder if she is feeling the same way.
“Oh, okay then. I guess that works out.”
I want to make my proposal to her now so that she has time to think about it until Friday, but I don’t really want to do it over the phone. I take a deep breath, turn back to my desk, and sit up. I need to feel more in control for this conversation.
“I’ve been thinking about some things, and I wanted to run something by you.”
Her voice comes through the phone hesitantly. “Okay...”
How do you tell your long - lost lover who doesn’t remember you that you want to get married?
“I think we should get married.”
Silence greets me from the other end of the phone, and I have to pull it away from my ear to check if she hung up.
“I’m sorry. What?”
Here goes nothing.
“I think we should get married. I think it will help us in the long run. Having you as my wife after this story gets out will help ease some of the publicity that we are going to have to deal with. It will help with my business image, and you and Sophia will have everything you need no matter what happens to me.”
She still doesn’t say anything, and my nerves are making me feel like I have to keep talking.
“It will only be a marriage in name. We won’t have to act like husband and wife out of the public view. You can have your own room at my place, and we will even keep the new apartment just in case.”
“Slow down, Chandler. What the hell are you talking about? We can’t get married. I still don’t know anything about you. I just met you a few days ago. I didn’t even want to move in with you!”
Her words and shrill tone make me cringe.
“I know, but this really could be the best for us. You and Sophia are taken care of, and my legacy and business remain intact.”
I will her through the phone to agree. If she does, then I will be able to keep them both close and safe. I will be able to start making Tanya fall for me again while being a father to Sophia. I’m not willing to miss out on any more time with either of them.
“Just think about it, okay? I will be down Friday, and we can talk about it more if you would like, but I told you I want to provide for you and Sophia. I want to be her dad, and this is the way for it to happen.”
I can hear her let out a tired sigh.
“I will think about it, but I don’t know, Chandler, this seems like a ridiculous thing to do. I don’t know you, and it’s been nine years since you’ve known me.”
I don’t want to push her, but I also want to make sure she really thinks this through. This move would open the door for everything I want.
“I’ll think about it, but if I say yes, we agree it’s only a marriage of convenience, yes?”
At first.
I smile at the fact that I got her to agree to at least think about it, it’s the first step.
The rest of the week drags by. I don’t hear anymore from Tanya, and I’m worried that she is going to say no. I want her to say yes with everything in me. We were supposed to be married already. We were supposed to be raising Sophia in my penthouse and have her go to a private school with the best education possible.
It’s been nine years in the making, and I don’t want to wait any longer. I also haven’t heard anything else from Josh. It’s not too out of the ordinary for us to go a while without talking, but I can’t help but feel like this time has something to do with Tanya. I don’t get it, he never had a problem with her before, but ever since the day she went missing, he has made it his mission to cast her in a bad light.
It’s Thursday night, and I’m filled with anxious energy, waiting until the time I can leave and head to Willow Creek.
I need to distract myself from my nerves, so I pick up my phone, grab a beer from the fridge, and go to sit out on the balcony. The air has a slight chill to it, but it helps to clear my head some as I push the call button for Josh. It rings and rings, and I’m getting more and more irritated as I wait. His voicemail picks up, and as I listen to the automated voice telling me to leave a message, I debate if I should.
“Hey, I don’t know if you just got busy or not, but I thought you should know I’m going to Willow Creek tomorrow and I’m going to try and persuade Tanya to marry me. Call me back.”
I end the call and take a long pull from my beer. I really wanted him to pick up so he could keep me distracted for a while. It’s too early to go to sleep, and I’m too wired to even try. I slowly finish my beer, taking small sips as I enjoy the cool breeze and the sight of the lights coming on one by one over the city as it grows darker and darker. Little dots in the night that signify a living person cozy in their home. It’s the city’s replacement for the stars in the sky.
Once my beer is empty, I stand from the chair, relaxed from my time just sitting outside, and go back inside. I walk around the apartment, checking windows and doors to make sure everything is locked up tight, before I finally take some melatonin and climb into my king size bed, sinking into the soft mattress, ready for the next day to come.
I wake up extremely early and start my drive to Willow Creek. I don’t know if Tanya is working today, but I want to make sure I make it early enough to bring her something before she has to go in. I want her to know that I’m here, and that I’m ready for my answer.
With it being so early, and the fact that I’m not watching my speed on the way there, I make it in just under an hour. I had Jillian book me the same room again, but I don’t bother stopping there, instead I go straight to Tanya’s. I stopped by a Starbucks just out of town and got her the Pineapple Cloud Cake she used to order all the time, but now that I have it and I’m about to give it to her, I’m nervous that she will no longer like it.
The small cabin they live in is dark when I arrive, and I look at the clock to see it’s just after eight. I’m not sure if they are still sleeping or if they have already left. I grab my coffee and her cake before getting out of my car. Just as I’m about to knock on her door, Tanya’s voice comes from the side of house.
“You made it here early.”
I turn to see her walking out of a small wooded area, she’s a vision walking out of the trees that are dotted with orange and yellow. She’s in a tight pair of jeans and a sweatshirt that looks to be a little big for her. Her hair is up in a messy bun, and I can’t take my eyes off her. I look behind her to try and see where she is coming from.
“Do you usually walk around the woods so early in the morning?”
Her lips form into a smirk, and the same look she used to get before saying something sarcastic flashes across her face. For some reason, it sends heat shooting through my body.
“It’s not really the woods. I had to take Soph to school and the town square is just on the other side of this.”
“Oh, right. It’s a school day. I didn’t think about that.”
She walks up the steps of her porch and stops a foot away from me. I hold the cake out to her.
“I got you this. It’s what you used to order; I don’t even know if you still like it or not, but I didn’t know what else to get, and I didn’t want to risk waking you to ask.”
I shrug, hearing how ridiculous I sound. She stares at the bag with interest for a moment, before she takes it and peeks inside. She carefully takes it out, sniffs it, and takes the tiniest bite. The face she makes causes me to burst into laughter.
“Not your thing anymore, huh?”
It’s a sad thought, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on it.
People change all the time.
“I can’t believe I used to eat that. It’s incredibly sweet.”
I chuckle again and hand her my drink.
“Here, try this. See if it’s more your speed.”
It’s a simple hot coffee with cream and sugar. Not overly sweet or bitter. I watch her face as she takes a sip, and my eyes lock on her lips touching the edge of the cup where mine have already been. I shift on my feet and clear my throat once she pulls it away, making a humming sound.
“That is much better.”
She tries to hand me back my cup, but I hold my hands up.
“Keep it; I can deal. I messed up not asking you anyways.”
She shakes her head and shoves the cup into my hand.
“I work at a coffee shop, I’m good.”
I take it from her and keep my eyes on her as I bring the cup up to my lips and take a sip. Her eyes drop to my lips and her tongue peeks out to wet her lips. I try to hide my smirk by wiping my mouth, and it pulls her from her stare.
“Do you want to come in?”
She walks around me to her front door, and I frown when she simply opens it and walks in having left it unlocked. I choose not to say anything as I follow her to the kitchen. I don’t want to start this conversation off on a bad note.
“So, did you get a chance to think about my proposal?”
I watch her face to try and see if I can see how she feels about it, but her face stays neutral.
“I did.”
My hands are actually starting to sweat. I don’t think my hands have ever sweat from nerves in my life.
“Did you come to a decision?”
She stares down at her hands and rubs at her fingers; the sight brings me comfort. She used to do this when she was nervous.
It’s nice to see my Tanya is still in there.
“I think we have a lot to talk about before we can discuss getting married.”
Hope fills my chest.
“I completely agree. I wasn’t thinking we would just jump in feet first. We have a lot to think about, Sophia being the most important.”
Her eyes lift to mine, and I see relief reflected back at me. I reach across the counter slowly, giving her time to move her hands, and place mine on top of hers.
“I promise you all that I want is to provide for you and Sophia. I know you don’t know me anymore, but that’s all that is important to me, that the two of you are safe and happy. We can take our time getting to know each other.”
She searches my face, and I try to keep my expression as open and honest as I can. When she is satisfied with what she sees, she nods her head, and I move my hand back to my side of the counter.
“So, what has you hesitating about agreeing to marry me, besides not knowing me anymore?”
I have to admit it still hurts that she doesn’t know me. I was hoping that when she saw me at the café something about me would seem familiar to her, but when she still didn’t know me, I had to accept that this was going to be harder than I thought.
It doesn’t matter, though. I will do whatever she needs to feel secure, and I will make sure I never lose her again. We talk for the rest of the morning, going over all of her fears and talking through her doubts. I admit that I also have some, and I think it helps to ease hers some.
She offers for me to go with her to pick up Sophia from school later on, and we part ways until it’s time to go. I go back to the hotel to get some work down until three, then meet up with Tanya at the cabin to walk with her to Sophia’s school. My stomach is filled with nerves as we go.
“I have to admit that telling her who I am is making me nervous.”
Tanya smiles at me.
“Me too, but I know she is going to be happy to have a dad.”
The thought comforts me some, but the doubt I have over if I can be a good dad for her or not overpowers that.