Chapter 23 #2
Sophia sighs. “If you were planning on making a career as a professor, I would be concerned, but you’re covering a sabbatical, and you have a PhD in library science.
This job was a stopgap and a way to pay for this divorce.
Nothing more. I guess the question now is, are you planning to keep sleeping with him? ”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“That’s not a no.”
“He wants to spend New Year’s with me.” I tap my lips.
“What did you say to that?”
“Yes, but I probably shouldn’t have.”
“Because you think he’s too young, or because he was your student?”
“Both. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, Soph.”
“You’re having hot sex with a hot jock who you have incredible chemistry with. The age difference is irrelevant. There are lots of people who end up in relationships with their former students. Lots.”
“Usually it’s female students and their much-older male professors. And how many times have we passed judgment on those professors?”
“It’s the married ones who cheat on their wives that I judge.”
“I’m married.” I point at myself.
“Not because you want to be. Gabriel has been dragging this out forever, and that’s not on you. Maybe it’s good that you’re going to see your parents for a couple of weeks. Weigh the pros and cons. But your job here is temporary, and Maverick has a career in professional hockey ahead of him.”
“I know. This whole thing is temporary—my job and what’s going on with him.”
“Enjoy it while it lasts, then. Lord knows you’ve spent the last two years in and then trying to escape a relationship with a serious power imbalance. You deserve to have some fun.”
“Do you think that’s why I’m attracted to him? Because he’s younger and not established?”
“You’re attracted to him for a lot of reasons.
One of them being that he’s hot as hell.
He’s also built like Adonis and apparently has the dick of the ages.
Plus he’s proven to be a caretaker and a protector.
And he’s experienced some trauma of his own that you can empathize with.
You connect. And maybe it helps to know it doesn’t ever have to be something serious.
I’ve known you for a lot of years, Clover.
You’re a good person. You married the wrong man, and he threw your world into upheaval.
Maverick is nothing like him, and I’m sure that’s very appealing.
” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.
“Try not to overthink this too much. But if you can’t handle the guilt that comes with it, that’s okay.
You have the next couple of weeks to breathe and figure things out. ”
After Sophia and I have a non-burned brunch, she heads upstairs to her apartment to pack, and I return to my bedroom to do the same.
While I’m looking forward to seeing my parents, what’s going on with Maverick weighs heavy on my mind.
Twenty minutes before Sophia and I leave for the airport, he messages.
Maverick: Can I stop by real quick?
I stare at the message for long seconds before I respond.
Clover: We leave for the airport in fifteen minutes.
His response is immediate.
Maverick: I’m parked down the street. I’ll be two minutes, won’t hold you up.
My heart keeps skipping beats, telling me how much of a mess I am over this man.
Clover: Yes. Come.
The dots appear and disappear a couple of times, and then there’s a knock at the patio door. I rush down the hall and open it, letting in the cold winter air along with him. His gaze moves over my face on a slow, assessing sweep. “How are you?”
“Okay. You?”
“Worried you’re going to do a lot of thinking over the next two weeks, and it’s not going to be in my favor.”
I smile, but it’s strained, and I drop my head, struggling with the emotions that have been plaguing me all day.
Instead of saying more, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. “Whatever you need from me, I’ll give it to you.”
“It was a close call this morning.”
“You’re freaked out, huh?” I feel his lips against my temple.
“Nothing about this is simple,” I murmur against his chest.
He releases me and takes my face between his warm palms. “Well, one thing is simple. We share some pretty wicked chemistry.” He slants his mouth over mine, and I grip his wrists, allowing myself to stop thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.
Instead, I get lost in the kiss and wish we had more time.
“Okay! I’m all set to go. Oh! Hey now.” The sound of Sophia’s voice has Maverick releasing me and stepping back, elbow hitting the door, his expression full of concern and questions.
“She knows,” I assure him.
He looks back and forth between us, tips his chin in my direction and asks Sophia, “She say good things about me?”
“Says you’re the best she’s ever had.”
He grins. “The best, huh?”
I give Sophia an incredulous look. “Seriously?”
She shrugs. “That’s what you said.”
“Like he needs his ego inflated.” I poke Maverick in the chest. “Wipe that smirk off your face.”
“Sorry, Professor Sweet . . . as pie.” His grin widens.
I purse my lips. “We need to leave for the airport.”
“I know. I’m heading to Lake Geneva soon.
Open this on Christmas Day.” He tucks a small box into my purse.
“I’ll be thinking about you. A lot. Mostly while I’m in the shower.
And bed.” He tucks his finger under my chin and angles my head so he can kiss me.
Chastely this time. “Call me when you land.”
“Okay.”
“Later, bestie.” He winks at Sophia and slips out the back door.
“So, just a fling, huh?” Sophia says as I lock the door and follow her down the hall.
“I’m in the middle of a divorce. It can’t be anything more than that.”
She’s undeterred. “You’re in deep already, aren’t you?”
I sigh. “I think so.”
“Well, no matter what, you deserve to have this. Better to have lusted and lost than never to have lusted at all, right?”
I laugh, but it’s already so much more than lust, even with all the boundaries I had in place until now. I have no idea what condition my heart is going to be in by the time it ends.
As much as I’d like to be able to cut ties and walk now, to not come back for New Year’s, my body misses him already. And my head? Well, it’s a mess.