Chapter 26
Darcy remained outside the door for several long minutes then finally retired to his apartment, dizzy with happiness.
Was it true? Did she really love him? Did she kiss him? He had spent so many tormenting nights. Had everything suddenly happened as he hoped—better than he hoped?
He pushed the door and entered his apartment. His valet was expecting him with hot water and his luggage unpacked. Darcy washed then dismissed the servant.
She was only a few doors away, and that thought became sweet torture. There were still many long hours until morning, and he stared at his pocket watch. She must be asleep already; surely, she was tired.
He scolded his folly that made them both go through so much torment in the last two months. He was such a complete simpleton with his foolish doubts and fears that replaced his earlier—and more foolish—arrogance and self-confidence. He must learn; she could teach him.
Darcy tried to sleep but failed repeatedly. His heart was too light and his mind too alert to be defeated by weariness.
He tossed in his bed for a time; then suddenly a thought crossed his mind. He had not actually proposed to her, and she had not truly accepted him. How could he omit the most important part?!
He mused on this for a short while, hurried downstairs again, and returned minutes later with Elizabeth’s shoes.
He first hesitated then gently knocked on her door and waited, without knowing she had already seen him from her balcony and was eagerly waiting for him.
There was still much to be said and heard that night.
She opened the door, and he was there, looking at her. The only light came from outside and from the single candle that burned on a small table.
Both were in nightclothes, now dry and clean. She stepped back, and he entered then closed the door behind him.
Elizabeth glanced at her shoes and smiled.
“I needed a reason to come to you in the middle of the night,” he admitted. “And I thought it would be better not to let the servants find these in the morning.”
“Excellent reasoning, Mr Darcy. Except that you did not need a reason to come to me,” she teased with a trembling voice. She was not as calm as she pretended.
He dropped the shoes and took another step forward. Their silhouettes were lit from behind by the moonlight; and their closeness, the time of night, and the image of their beloved standing inches away made them both dizzy. It was dreamlike and highly improper.
“I know you said we would speak more tomorrow. But there is something that must be said this instant. It cannot wait.”
“What would that be?” she whispered, shivers running over her skin.
“A question…” He was now close enough to touch her. He took her hands and brought them to his lips.
“A question? Have you a question to which you do not yet know the answer?”
“I might know the answer, but I need to hear it nevertheless.”
“Then, pray ask it,” she encouraged him, her lips parting under his gaze.
“Miss Bennet, would you allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you? And would you be so generous as to forgive and forget my terrible manners, my arrogant behaviour, and my foolish assumptions that have brought us two more months of torment? Would you allow your heart to complete mine and accept my hand in marriage, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth?”
She laughed as tears glittered in her eyes. “That was not one but three very long questions. I am usually the one who speaks too much, but this time would it be enough for me to answer a simple yes to all of them?”
His face brightened with heartfelt delight. “A simple ‘yes’ is perfect.”
She freed one of her hands and gently caressed his face. “But perhaps not enough. It is my turn to tell you how ardently I love and admire you, my dearest Mr Darcy,” she whispered.
“Please do,” he said huskily. “As often as you wish. I have waited for this so long and suffered so when I lost all hope that I still cannot believe it is happening.”
“We have said that so many times tonight that we shall soon become irksome and annoying.”
She laughed again, looking at him while her hands encircled his waist. Her body brushed against his, and he captured her in his arms.
He smiled with an expression that she witnessed for the first time.
“Then perhaps we should cease speaking.”
She quivered although she was so hot she could barely breathe.
“Perhaps,” she whispered her acceptance.
Their mutual gazes confessed the depth of their feelings and the power of restrained desires, so when their lips touched, so did their souls.
The kiss started sweet and gentle. She felt like she belonged in his arms, like her lips had been waiting for his, like her wishes and dreams had been too poor compared to the sensations that slowly arose within her.
Her body then leaned into him so that only their nightclothes separated them. Slowly, the soft tenderness seemed too little, and passion overcame it. Urge and hunger needed to be satiated, desires to be fulfilled, ardour to be tempered.
Elizabeth felt herself being carried to the bed, and she finally opened her eyes. He was there, just as he had been earlier on the grass. Only now, his nearness was real, and she daringly put her arms around his neck, pulling him to her.
He obeyed and gently pressed his torso to hers as she abandoned herself to the fiery kisses and caresses that she slowly learned to enjoy and then to crave.
Eventually, Darcy stopped his tender assault and withdrew slightly. Their lips almost touched as he brushed several rebellious locks from her forehead and temple.
“I cannot believe this is happening,” he whispered again. “And yes, I know I am irksome and annoying, but I need to say it nevertheless.”
“I must say it too, and I am sure I shall repeat it in the morning.”
He placed sweet kisses upon her eyelashes. “I shall go now, my love. I have stayed too long; I should not have come here at all.”
“You should go, indeed, although you have stayed too little. I do not wish you to leave although I know you must.”
“There is nothing I wish more than never to leave your side. But I must. Tomorrow morning I shall speak to Mr Gardiner, and we shall write to your parents—if you agree.”
“Of course I do…”
He rose, and they sat on the edge of the bed, holding hands.
“It is safer to speak this way,” he said, and she blushed. “We must think of a date for the wedding…and a place. Rather, you should think since I would agree with anything you want. As long as the date is near-at-hand. Do you prefer the wedding to take place here or in Meryton?”
He was so eager, enthusiastic, and joyful that she laughed and put her head on his shoulder. “How soon can it be? That decision might also decide the place. The only reason to wed in Hertfordshire would be my family’s presence.”
He caressed her hair. “I agree. I shall make the arrangements as you like. For me, tomorrow would not be too soon. But for that I must go to London and get a special license, which will take at least a week.”
She frowned and stared at him. “Travel back to London when you just returned? I cannot agree with that. What about a common license? We could marry in a fortnight, and you need not leave Pemberley again. That would give us time to write to my parents.”
“Very well…I would rather stay with you and enjoy a few weeks of betrothal than leave and waste more time on the road.”
He kissed her hands and gave her a mischievous smile. “Or we can hasten to Gretna Green and return married—no more waiting. I trust your parents would forgive me eventually. It might be worth the risk.”
She blushed and replied teasingly, “As tempting as that sounds, let us wait a little longer. What could be lovelier than to be engaged while you show me all there is to know about Pemberley?”
“It might be lovelier to be married while I show you all there is to know about Pemberley. But betrothal will do for now,” he accepted in mock frustration.
“And I must learn to ride properly during this time. I understand it is a required skill, and the colonel offered to teach Anne and me,” she joked.
“Nobody but me will teach you anything,” he responded with such seriousness that she quickly kissed his cheek.
Then she became earnest as she said, “Fitzwilliam, before making any announcement, you should talk to Anne. I am not sure how she will take such news. I confess that, when I heard of her staying here, I thought you might have decided to marry her after all.”
“My love, your care is much appreciated, but there is no need for it; I assure you. Anne and I talked and clarified everything. Besides…”
“Yes…?”
“Richard proposed to her two weeks ago. But nobody knows except Georgiana and me. She wished to keep it secret until she decides how to tell Aunt Catherine.”
Elizabeth’s delight was as great as her relief. The last burden and shadow on her complete felicity vanished. She pressed her hands together prayerfully.
“That is so wonderful! So truly and completely wonderful! Only hours earlier I thought…I experienced such torment, such sadness and fear…and now… Forgive me; I am behaving foolishly.”
His lips gently wiped her tears while his hands held her beautiful face. His thumbs brushed over her lips, silencing and comforting her distress.
“All that is gone now, my beloved. Let us turn these into happy tears. I am to blame for everything you went through these past weeks, and my own turmoil does not diminish my guilt. I have a lifetime to remedy my mistakes, and I promise I shall.”
“If we are to share our lives, we must share the blame too,” she attempted to joke. “But you are right—all that is gone now.”
They embraced for some time without words—only feelings; and no burst of passion—only comfort and tenderness. Passion would come later.
It was almost dawn when Darcy finally left Elizabeth’s room with regret and longing.