Chapter 5
Hail
Ice surrounds me with its numbing chill. My conjured sculptures fill my entire dorm bedroom, crystalline mountains with glinting forests looming here, gleaming castles shooting intricate turrets up toward the ceiling there.
No one could say I’m not ambitious. Well, I suppose they could, since I never let anyone see just how big I’m willing to go with my art, but I know. That’s what matters.
The fewer fucks people think you give, the less likely they are to hassle you with their own shit.
My spectacle isn’t inherently permanent, though. I can feel every particle of the ice I created and shaped with my magic. Patches of my private gallery are starting to melt, as always happens with the warmth that seeps through the walls from the rest of the building.
It’s hard to summon the enthusiasm to bolster the frigid surfaces.
No matter how much of the cool air I breathe into my lungs, no matter how many faint draughts waft over my skin, the stupid glow in the middle of my chest keeps shining.
I’ve been attempting to freeze it out of me for the past several minutes—again, even though it didn’t work the first few times I tried.
Add stubbornness to the list of my stellar qualities. None of which are doing me a speck of good at the moment.
When I tug open the collar of my shirt to check, the spot radiates just as brightly as before.
And it doesn’t just glow. I can feel her. All her quivers of embarrassment and determination, pain and delight, trickle into me as she moves through the school.
I’m never going to stop knowing how she feels. I can’t even walk more than a mile or two away from her without sending her into a fit.
I never asked to be responsible for that pipsqueak.
The thought provokes a wince that pisses me off all over again.
For fuck's sake, I can't even think of her as a pipsqueak anymore, not after the power she pulled out of that curvy little body just a few days ago. Not after she saved all our hides from being sorcerer-possessed.
But now she might as well have possessed me, in a way that shows no sign of fading.
And because of her damned power, Rollick wants her input on the mystery of these insane rifts, which means I have to keep tagging along as if we're a real team.
I have to help protect humans who've never given a shit about protecting us.
They always seem to want more excitement in their stupid mortal lives. A horde of warped shadowkind creatures would give them plenty. Why deny them?
An elegant knock filters through my door. You wouldn't think the rapping of knuckles against a hard surface could be elegant, but I know one being who can pull it off.
Gloss's equally elegant voice carries through the wood. "Hail, let's go take a walk."
I bristle automatically, even though the snow wraith hasn't exactly done anything wrong.
Leaning back on my bed, I shape my own voice much like I manipulated the ice of my sculptures, forming a blasé tone. "I don't really feel like walking."
Gloss switches to a more cajoling approach. "Oh, you've got to at least let me in for a chat. It’s been too long. I've barely seen you in the past two weeks."
What does it matter to her? What does she really want from me?
Most of the time, even if it’s obvious she has larger goals for our partnership, she’s been content with the prestige of hanging off the arm of one of the most powerful beings at the school, one who doesn't kowtow to the teachers or act like I'm ashamed of existing, the way Raze does.
Most of the time, I've been fine with that. I look good with her hanging off my arm. Her prestige as one of the school's queen bees adds to my own in turn. I can deal with the hassle of turning her bigger aims down later.
But how can I care about any of that when my entire existence has been locked down by a glowing cream puff?
If I totally snub her, Gloss will give me the cold shoulder the next time I actually want some company that won't irritate me to death. So I push myself off the bed and slip outside through the shadow beneath the door without bothering to open it.
Gloss has always been curious to see the inside of my room. Maybe even to see what I might try to do with her in that room. But that space is for me and me alone. If I ever get up close and personal with Gloss, it'll be in her bed like all the other beings I've had a little fun with.
As I materialize in front of her, Gloss offers me one of her usual subdued smiles. She fingers the front of my shirt, coyly flirtatious, and hesitates at the glimmer of light that peeks from beneath my collar.
A shudder runs through her slender frame. "That's—that's what the tiny freak put on you. Haven't they found a way to get it off yet?"
With a grimace, I pull away from her. "The headmaster seems to think it'll wear off on its own eventually."
Gloss wrinkles her nose. "But marking someone is so... so trite.” Her voice hardens as if it’s iced over. “She can't just claim you like you belong to her. Can't you do anything to break this bond or whatever it is?"
Does she think I wouldn’t have already tried? If I hadn’t, why would she figure I'd do it just because she asked?
Because in Gloss's mind, I belong to her. She claimed me as the being she wanted to slink around the school with just a few days after my arrival, reform student or not.
I don’t know where she got the idea that we'll have anything in common when we're out of this place. My goals are probably closer to Peri's than they are to hers. She just sees me as a means to an end, a powerful force she expects to pave the way for her ambitions.
An uncomfortable twinge passes through my chest and sharpens my next words. "If I could, it'd already be gone. If you know some way to cut off a magical connection no one's ever heard of before, feel free to get on with it."
Gloss frowns. "I'm only trying to help."
Yeah, help herself by getting back her arm candy. I glower at her. "Reminding me of something I hate isn't what I’d call helpful. Is this all you wanted to chat about?"
Before she can answer, a couple of my dorm-mates shoulder into the common hallway. One of them catches sight of me and lets out a loud snort. "If it isn't lover boy! Does your pretty little mate know you're picking up other ladies?"
His sidekick guffaws. "I'd hate to think how she'll punish him if she finds out. Do you think she'll go for a rope and collar next time to really make a statement?"
As much as their comments prick at my skin, I roll my eyes as if I'm bored by their heckling. "It must be hard knowing no one would ever want to bond mark you. Feel free to continue working out your frustrations."
The nonchalant insult appears to roll right off them. They keep snickering as they make their way to their shared bedroom. "Out of all the girls in the place, can you imagine being tied to that pathetic pudgy shrimp?"
"Hey, it means there’s more of the good ones left for the rest of us now!"
I ignore them, keeping my expression impassive, but my teeth set on edge.
The worst part is, something in me wants to snap at them not because they're mocking me but because they have no idea what Peri is actually capable of.
I used to think she was pathetic too. Maybe this bond is punishment for all my mistakes.
Does such a dire punishment really fit the crime, though? And what would Raze and the other two be getting punished for? Those bozos liked the cream puff all along.
Gloss sets a reassuring hand on my arm—as if I need reassurance. Her eyes glitter. "Don't let them bother you. She won’t get away with this. Why don't we head over to the— "
I swipe her hand away. "I don't want to go anywhere with you right now. Get that through your head."
Then, with a flare of shame at the outburst, I stalk past her out of the dorm without looking back.
I have class in half an hour, but I find I don't give a shit if I'm late for it. Or if I miss it altogether.
Are they going to kick me out when Rollick's new star student needs me nearby to stay conscious? Ha.
I might as well take advantage of the few slim benefits this unwanted bond comes with.
I veer toward the outer doors and stride out into the glaring desert sun. It's not noon yet, so the beams are far from their full power, but the dry heat courses over my skin.
My flesh seems to tighten against the sensation, longing for shady forests and warbling winds.
Good. Let the beams blaze through the turmoil inside me. Maybe the scorching desert summer can burn away the damned glow on my chest too.
I set off at a brisk pace, pushing my legs hard enough that I start to sweat almost immediately. The uncomfortable heat feels right, searing through my body.
I tip my head back so more of the sun's rays strike my face.
Even as I propel myself faster, a niggling reminder at the back of my mind has me veering in a slow arc. I can't take a real hike away from this place. I'd rather not have the basilisk glaring his disappointment at me if the cream puff faints again.
Especially considering his glares can be fatal.
It turns out my caution isn't enough. I'm circling around the farthest outbuildings, my shoes rasping against the hard earth and tossing up bits of grit, when a short but shapely figure with unmistakable teal hair wavers out of the shadow beneath a shrub several paces ahead.
The sight of the being who's caused most of my current problems brings my temper surging up my throat before I can catch it. "I wasn't going to walk far enough away for anything to bother you. You didn't need to check up on me."
Peri blinks, her big blue eyes echoing the distress at my harsh tone that’s already reverberating into my chest. A smack of guilt hits me, followed by a prickle of irritation that she's made me feel guilty.
She tilts her head to the side as she studies me, staying where she is. Giving me my space. So fucking considerate now that I can't really escape her.
"I wasn't worried about that," she says in a humiliatingly gentle tone. "I could taste—you're upset about something. But also, it hurts you being outside when the sun is so hot. Especially when you're walking quickly. Why are you staying out here when the atmosphere is bothering you like that?"
A sharper flare of embarrassment surges up, more searing than the damned sun she's fretting about. She can feel even those simple reactions, even when I'm not in the same building as her?
Is there anything I can keep from her, just for myself? Is she going to be watching every flash of insecurity and smattering of gloom that comes over me for the rest of my life?
My hands clench at my sides, but I cool my voice until it could be ice itself, flat and cutting.
"I don't see how that's any of your business, no matter how much you've tried to make it yours.
Maybe I don't want to feel good all the time.
Maybe I don't want you deciding how I should feel. The last thing I need is a babysitter."
Shamed yellow flickers through Peri's hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you more. I'll go back to the school. But please look after yourself."
"What I really want is for you to get your ridiculous fucking glow off me," I snarl, but she's already leapt back into the shadows before I've finished my sentence.
I wave my hand in her general direction. "That's right. Run off now that there's a mess you can't fix."
She doesn't reappear. The sun keeps beating down on me.
A sickly sensation congeals in my gut.
I deserve this pain even more than I did a few minutes ago, don't I? And the only being who actually cares if I’m suffering is the one who put me in this position in the first place.