Chapter 11
Raze
I’m annoyed the moment I sense Peri arriving outside our dorm bedroom door—and hear her thanking the staff member who escorted her.
If Rollick wanted to make sure no one hassled her on the way from the infirmary, he should have asked me. Who cares more about keeping her safe than I do?
I spent most of the past few hours prowling around outside the voluntary student building, hoping the spiteful snow wraith would show her wan face so I could flay her with my fury.
Except I’m not sure I actually would have no matter how much I wanted to, because then the staff might banish me, and who else might hurt my Glowbug without me here?
And then I found out they’d already banished Gloss, so all my pacing was pointless anyway.
I emerge from the shadows before the door has even swung shut, leaping to Peri’s side. “Are you all right? You’re feeling totally better now?”
She steps into the room smoothly enough. I’m not picking up any twinges of pain through the glowing spot on my chest, but I’m not sure if I’d notice milder sensations.
Subtlety has never been my strong point.
At least I know she’s not blaring with agony. I’d recognize that in an instant.
Like the jumbled froth of distress that brought me hustling her way. Like the more vicious spike of anguish that followed.
When I remember seeing Gloss poised over Peri in the hall, the essence streaming off Peri’s body and the savage expression on her attacker’s face, my stomach ties itself in knots.
I can’t remember the last time I experienced anger like the rage that seared through me at that sight. My contacts cracked; I’m sure one brush of my fingers would have been fatal.
I might really have killed the icy woman, shadowkind or not, if Jonah hadn’t dashed over a moment after me and locked me in place with a shout of sorcery.
He did also get Gloss off Peri, which I guess I can give him credit for. As much as part of me wishes I’d gotten in a fatal swipe before he showed up.
The staff wouldn’t have blamed me for acting in my beloved’s defense in the moment, would they?
The brutal longing only twists my gut up more. I ease back a step to give Peri space.
All those venomous emotions are coming even closer to brushing up against her now. How can I keep a careful wall up when she’s got a direct line to my inner state?
Peri offers me one of her soft smiles, but it’s not quite as vibrant as they often are. “I’m completely back to normal. It is nice that our physical bodies can heal so much faster than regular mortal ones.”
I don’t know about “fast.” Does she realize our shadowkind nurse took her into the shadow realm for a few days before she was healed enough to finish the process in this plane?
I make myself smile back despite the conflicted emotions roiling inside me. “That’s good. If I’d gotten there sooner—”
Peri shakes her head dismissively. “I didn’t have any idea Gloss was that angry with me, so you definitely couldn’t have. It’s over now. It sounds like no one has to worry about her going full monster again.”
She pauses for a moment, studying me, and then flops down on her bed on the other side of the room. The urge spreads through my arms to follow and cuddle her close, but the jab of uncertainty on its heels holds me in place.
Instead, I stand aimlessly in the middle of the room like the lug Hail would say I am.
Peri aims another smile at me, this one more hesitant. “I’m glad to be back in a regular bedroom instead of having to spend what might be my last night at the academy in the infirmary. I know no one can hurt me when you’re right here.”
A growl creeps up my throat automatically. “They wouldn’t get past the door. But I’m sure Rollick will think it’s okay for you to come back to the school once everything has… settled down.”
“I guess we’ll see.” Peri looks at her hands and then at me again. “I’m sorry that I’m having to drag you along with me to keep working on the rifts. You shouldn’t have to leave too. If it wasn’t for the marks…”
I frown at the distress in her voice. “I’d rather go wherever you’re going than stay here wondering what’s happening to you. I’m not sure I was learning all that much from the classes I could take anyway.”
To tell the truth, being around Peri gave me more confidence that I could eventually mingle with humans again than anything else has in the several months I’ve been stuck at the academy.
Peri’s hands clasp on her lap, her fingers twisting together.
A faint glow wavers through her hair, a paler blue than its natural turquoise.
“I’ve just seen—you don’t want to get very close to me anymore.
I can understand why you’d be worried that some other strange power might jump out of me.
I don’t want you to have to worry about that. ”
What crazy ideas is she talking about? They’re not even the good kind of crazy.
I knit my brow. “What do you mean? I never thought that might happen.”
Peri blinks at me. “Then why— When we’ve talked before, you’ve kept your distance. Even right now, you’ve avoided touching me or getting close.”
Maybe I’m the crazy one. Did I really think she wasn’t going to notice?
I grapple with my words. “It’s not about you.
It’s never about you. You know what kinds of impulses I have…
How my powers can come out reflexively… This connection that’s between us now—I don’t want any of the poison in me to leak into you.
It seems like the feelings that pass through the mark are stronger when we’re physically closer. I thought it was safer this way.”
When Peri brightens, it’s so obvious that her natural light had dimmed before. A peachy glint shimmers over her hair, melting away the blue with a warmer sheen.
A pang shoots through my heart.
She is a rainbow, like Mirage always says. My Glowbug. She’s meant to be glowing, and all the confusion of the past couple of weeks has dwindled her light.
Peri gets up and walks over to me, her hair still shining. My stance tenses, but I force myself to stay still and in bodily form rather than shying away.
If I start running from the only being who’s ever made me feel remotely safe, then I might as well throw in the towel.
She stops right in front of me and reaches to touch my chest over the mark, which with our different heights is level with the top of her head. The warmth of her hand courses through my shirt and sets off a flare of a deeper heat that streams down to my groin.
I love everything about Peri, but this strange connection heightens certain sensations to torturous intensity. Her affection and desire for me waft into my chest and set off a sizzle through my nerves.
And I know she can taste my reaction even more clearly than I can sense hers.
“I’m always safer when I’m close to you than when I’m not,” she says, her voice so tender it sends the giddiest of shivers over my skin. “You’ve never hurt me. The impulses you have, they’re just part of how you’re made. You still decide whether to act on them.”
When she talks like that, it’s hard not to doubt all my good intentions. “It’s never been exactly like this before. We don’t even know everything the bond might mean.”
“Then we’ll figure it out together.” She lifts her hand to stroke her fingers along my jaw, and that’s all it takes for my dick to harden in my pants. “Do you still want me?”
Fuck, she must feel how much I do. My voice comes out hoarse. “Always.”
She bobs up on her toes to tuck her hands around my neck, gazing up at me with that brilliant grin I’ve been missing. “Then take me. Show me all that strength and how good it can make me feel.”
A groan reverberates from my chest, and I scoop her right off the floor. As our mouths collide, her brightly sweet scent filling my lungs, I whisk her to my bed.
Peri loops her arms around my shoulders and kisses me back so eagerly I couldn’t possibly doubt that she wants me just as much as I want her. Her lips tease over mine, coaxing my mouth open and tempting my tongue to dart out to meet her.
My hand comes up to grasp her gorgeous hair. I drop onto the bed, and her legs slide around my waist.
She sinks into my lap, the pressure of her rounded ass and thighs setting off a pulse of need through my groin. My cock throbs, stiff as steel now.
She isn’t afraid. She’s never been afraid of me, so that shouldn’t come as a surprise.
I only wanted to protect her—I wanted to make sure I didn’t ruin her—
But maybe my caution almost ruined this wonderful thing we have. How can I tell her what risks she’s allowed to take?
I haven’t hurt her before. I have made her feel incredibly good.
I can do that again, make up for any accidental pain I’ve caused her with my fears.
As I kiss her again, I run my fingers over her back.
She’s gone without the leather jacket that she decided was part of her new “tough” persona and chosen a dress more like the pretty ones she always wore when she first arrived at the school.
The fabric is so thin I can chart every slope of her curvy body.
Pleasure trickles through our connection, flaring when I cup one of her breasts. My hunger rears up in turn.
Desire floods my entire body with a scorching heat, mingling with the matching longing emanating from her, until I can hardly think about anything except closing the last tiny distance between our bodies.
Peri lets out a shaky giggle against my lips and lowers her head to trail kisses along my jaw.
“It feels like we’re supposed to do this, doesn’t it?
Like… Like we haven’t quite fit together properly yet, but when we do, it’ll be the best thing ever.
I wonder if that’s got something to do with the marks. ”
I can barely manage more than a rumble. “If so, I won’t argue.”
Then I yank her mouth back to mine.
She slips her hands between us to fumble with the fly of my jeans. The brush of her fingers over my groin provokes an even more urgent swell of desire.
I yank her dress up over her hips and wrench at her panties, knowing she can conjure replacements later with a simple dip into the shadows.
The rasp of tearing fabric earns me another breathless laugh. Peri’s lips graze mine with her eager murmur. “That’s right. I want all of your power. What can you do for me, my fierce mate?”
That last word sets off a bolt of heat and hunger unlike anything I’ve felt before. I tip her over and bury my face in her hair, branding her jaw and the side of her neck with my lips.
“Everything. I’ll do everything.”
That’s what she wants. That’s what I’ll give her. She’s strong too—so fucking strong.
I shouldn’t have let myself forget that.
Peri yanks open my boxers so my rigid cock springs free. I adjust her hips to line her up, my breath stuttering at the impatient wriggle of her hips.
Then I’m plowing into her with the full force of my desire.
For just an instant as I complete that first brutal thrust, my pulse hitches with the fear that I’ve hurt her after all. But Peri lets out a heady moan as if she’s been dying to feel me inside her.
Maybe she has. More torrents of need and delight rush from her body into mine, stoking my own pleasure.
Everything is her—the slick pressure of her channel closing around me, the tightening of her fingers in my hair, the pants of breath through our increasingly wild kisses.
The bliss that fills her with each pump of my cock washes over me in turn through the mark on my chest. With every slam of my cock home, more of my own body lights up with heat and joy.
I have to peek at myself between kisses to check that the mark hasn’t actually spread over the rest of my skin.
The visible sign of it hasn’t. But the hold Peri has on me? That ripples through every particle of my essence with a light so bright and heady I never want it to fade.
I drive into her harder, spurred on by every fresh flare of bliss. She rocks up to meet my violent thrusts, chasing her release, urging on my own.
As I buck into her, I do hold on to a few shreds of control. If I can plunge a little deeper, hit just the right spot inside—
Fuck, I’m aching to explode, but I’ll be damned if I don’t bring her with me.
Peri’s whimper nearly ends me. She tucks her head against mine, her breath wavering over my neck, and clings to me like I’m a rock in the storm. But I can feel just how ecstatic a storm it is with every surge of emotion that passes between us.
I will be her rock. I’ll stand between her and anything that dares to aim a single unkind glance her way.
I’ll fill her like no one else ever will.
A strained sound escapes me. Pleasure tremors through my veins. I grip Peri’s thigh, swivel my hand over her breast, pound into her again—
We shatter apart at the exact same time: my cock erupting inside her, her channel clamping around the shaft with a blissful shudder that shakes her entire body.
My mind blanks with the rush of the release. The crackling pleasure whirls between us—mine, hers, ours—utterly consuming me and yet melding me with her.
We collapse onto my bed in a sweaty heap. Peri snuggles close to me, her hair beaming warm pink now.
“It’s even better like that. One good thing from this accident.”
“Everything about you is good,” I mutter against her skin.
And with her, in these moments when we’re entwined, I feel like maybe I could be good too.
If only I could be sure my endless venom will never poison her light.