Chapter 13
Jonah
Athread of warm emotion tugs at my chest. I find myself drifting along the trailers toward its pull automatically, even though I’ve resolved to put as much space as I can between me and the shadowkind woman who’s now so woven into my awareness.
It’s been a while since I felt contentment from Peri.
There was that one period while we were still at the school when the sensations seeping through our connection turned so heady I had to step away from class and duck into a bathroom to compose myself.
Just remembering it sends a renewed tingle of heat over my skin that I try to will away.
But simply happy? Satisfied and assured, without a pile of worry mixed in?
I’m not sure I’ve gotten that impression from her in the entire time her feelings have been leaking into the four of us through the strange marks on our chests.
I spot her crouched near the shadowkind creature that now looks vaguely badger-like, other than the feathers it hasn’t lost in any of its morphs. She coos at it, and it sprawls out on the grass like a cat stretching before it takes a nap.
Another flicker of delight passes from her into me. She’s been working with this beast all afternoon, watching over it when it shows signs of another shift. Its form has changed two more times, but something about the pulses of calm she says she’s sending at it have soothed any bad temperedness.
It’s not as if she can hover over every one of the creatures that tumble through the odd rifts, moderating their impulses for all time.
She won’t even be able to keep the shadowkind emerging from this rift under control if it moves away from the increased protections the shadowbloods and I laid down.
But it’s progress. She’s done more to eliminate the threat the warped creatures pose than anything anyone else has accomplished so far.
I stop beside the trailer Rollick’s claimed as his main base of operations, watching her from a careful distance. Even observing her like this feels dangerous in a very different way.
Watching the fading sunlight gleam off her vibrant teal hair, the soft smile that curves her lips and the glimmer of compassion in her eyes, I want even more than usual to walk right over to her and pull her close.
To hear every sound I know I could encourage from those lips, from laughter to eager gasps.
I want to be the one stirring the flares of passion and delight inside her that I assume Raze did just days ago.
The twinge of desire shoots through both my heart and my groin. My foot eases forward another step before I catch it and yank myself back.
I nearly collide with a slightly taller form looming behind me.
Rollick chuckles and rests his hand on my shoulder to steady me. “What are you running away from, Jonah? There’s nothing to be afraid of here.”
His gaze settles on Peri, and a satisfied grin of his own crosses his face. “Not since our glowing wonder figured out yet another dimension to her powers. She stumbled into our path at just the right time, didn’t she?”
My gut twists. “Yeah, I guess she did.”
In a lot of ways. To solve a lot of problems. But not for me and maintaining the standards of professionalism I’ve spent years cultivating.
I was already having trouble getting her out of my head, and now I can never tune her out completely. I can’t stop myself from reacting to what I sense from her.
Rollick’s gaze slides to me. He studies me, a knowing gleam coming into his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with appreciating her.”
My voice comes out terser than I like. “There are a lot of ways it would be totally unethical for me to ‘appreciate’ her while I’m one of her teachers.”
“I suppose. Humans do like to create their complicated moral dilemmas.” Rollick pauses. “You know—”
To my relief, he’s cut off from pursuing this awkward subject by the peal of his ringtone. He pulls out his phone, frowns at the display, and ambles away from me, his voice dipping low. “Rollick here. What? Are you sure? Where exactly…”
His words fade out as he passes behind the trailer.
Apprehension settles over me. He didn’t sound pleased. Has something else gone wrong? Has there been trouble at the academy or at a different rift?
Before I can drag myself away to distract myself from those questions, the demon reappears. His mouth is set in a flat line.
When he catches my gaze, he motions vaguely to the east. “Another one of these questionable rifts has appeared—off in Mongolia. I think I’d better take a look in person and direct the initial efforts to contain it firsthand.”
My pulse stutters. “Another one?”
Hell, how many of the things are going to pop up? It’s becoming a game of whack-a-mole—except nothing about this feels like playing.
What are we going to do if there ends up being dozens of these rifts—each hurling out beings that have no sense of caution when it comes to mortals?
Rollick’s expression tightens into a frown. “I don’t like it. But at the moment, there’s nothing we can do except continue to observe and experiment.”
He brushes his hands together and waves to one of his shadowkind assistants. “Make sure the jet’s fueled up. I’ll be out there in ten minutes.”
As the being nods and darts into the shadows, Rollick turns back to me. He considers me for long enough that my skin starts to itch.
“I probably should have done this sooner,” he remarks.
“You’ve put so much of yourself into helping the academy grow and thrive, and it’s meant a lot to me—and I know to Quinn too.
But neither of us, or Sorsha and her partners, would have wanted your dedication to shadowkind to hold you back from having an actual life.
I don’t think you can serve me or yourself best right now as a member of my staff. ”
A surge of cold lurches through my gut. “What are you saying?”
The demon claps me on the shoulder again.
“Consider yourself relieved of duty, Jonah. You are no longer employed by the Quinn Moody Academy for the Shadowkind. I assume you’ll continue helping here at the rift out of the goodness of your heart, but it’ll be as a volunteer consultant with no special authority. ”
The chill spreads through my entire body. I have to struggle to stop my voice from shaking. “But—I don’t want to stop teaching—I’ve done a lot of good—”
“Of course you have. Now I’m repaying you for that good. I think you’ll thank me once you’ve seen how you can go forward.”
Rollick tips his head toward Peri. “You no longer have any authority over her. You can’t decide whether she earns a higher level or faces sanctions. So appreciate her however you like.”
He strides off, leaving me feeling as if a sinkhole has opened under my feet and at any second I’ll be swallowed up entirely.
He doesn’t think the comment I made was a hint that I wanted him to fire me, did he?
Fuck, what are the other administrators going to think when they find out? That I tossed aside all the responsibilities I’ve taken on just to pursue a fling?
Even as that thought passes through my head, part of me rejects it. Whatever I feel about Peri, it goes a lot deeper than fling territory.
But that doesn’t make any of this okay. I devoted so much of myself to my job. I thought I was helping at least some of the shadowkind students who came through my classes.
Apparently not enough. Not so much that Rollick needed more than a few minutes to toss all my efforts aside.
I’m so lost in turmoil that I don’t notice Peri approaching until her feet are whispering through the grass just a few paces away. At the jerk of my head toward her, she stops, twisting her hands in front of her.
“Are you all right?” she asks hesitantly. “What happened with Rollick? You seem really upset.”
And she knows that for a fact, because no doubt every anguished emotion that’s wrenching at me is echoing into her. Fucking hell.
I open my mouth and close it again, afraid of what I might say to her if I don’t think it through—afraid of how much frustration might spill out that she doesn’t deserve.
You could let her comfort you, a little voice murmurs in the back of my head. That’s why Rollick made this call—so you can pursue her without feeling guilty.
The demon may be wise and worldly when it comes to a lot of subjects, but he’s miscalculated for once. The fact that my conflicted attraction was obvious enough for him to kick me off his staff only doubles my load of guilt.
Despite my best efforts, my voice sounds hollow to my ears. “He demoted me. Dismissed me. I’m not part of the academy staff anymore.”
Peri bristles with a rush of outrage so potent it reverberates into me on the inside as well. “What? You’re one of the best teachers there.”
She spins on her heel, peering across the landscape. An orangey-red glow wavers over her hair like firelight. “Where is he? I’ll talk to him. He’ll see how wrong he was.”
Seeing her so vehement on my behalf sends a pang of affection through me, but it’s stifled by my horror at the image of her chasing down the demon and giving him a piece of her mind in her own Peri way.
“He’s already headed out to his plane,” I say quickly. “Another rift showed up halfway around the world that he’s going to take a look at. Maybe he’ll have rethought the situation by the time he gets back.”
From the way Rollick talked, I don’t believe that at all, but at least the suggestion seems to simmer Peri down.
She lets out her breath in a huff and focuses on me with an expression that’s more worried than angry.
“No wonder you’re upset. I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong.
He must be distracted by the problem with the rifts—maybe he thinks you’ll be able to pay more attention to dealing with them if you’re not feeling responsible for the school too. ”
I’d find that possibility easier to believe if I was doing anything more constructive than peering at the rifts and scratching my head in bewilderment.
I manage a small smile. “Maybe. For now, all we can do is wait and see.”
I’m not telling her the real explanation he gave. I don’t know whether Peri would feel more guilty for the part she played in it or excited to realize that the main barrier between us has been dissolved—or which reaction I’d find worse.
One of the shadowkind assistants has drawn closer to the creature we’ve been monitoring. She motions to Peri urgently. “I think it’s about to morph again!”
Peri shoots me an apologetic smile and hustles off to work her powers.
With a rumble that resonates through the air, Rollick’s private jet lifts into the sky from the airfield a short drive from our camp. The plane pierces the blue sky and dwindles into the distance.
The shadowkind creature lurches, shudders, and sprouts a shaggy mane like a lion, with massive, clawed paws to match.
Raze ambles over to join me. Peri’s impact on him has been nothing but good—his loosened movements show his new confidence in his self-control.
“Is there anything for us to do right now?” he asks.
I glance toward the wavering patch of air I can only make out when I focus intensely. “I’m not sure. I guess it depends on whether the protections continue to hold, and what the creature we’re monitoring—”
Before my eyes, the rift ripples and vanishes. My words snag in my throat.
Raze flinches at the same moment. Clearly I’m not imagining things.
A growl rumbles out of him. “What—where did it go?”
Peri has scrambled up from where she was soothing the shadowkind creature. Three assistants jog over with identical expressions of bewilderment. Zian hollers to Riva, who emerges from the trailer they’ve been sharing.
As disconcerting as this development is, I find I’m not exactly upset. Finally, I’ve got a concrete problem I actually have some hope of solving.
I motion to the terrain around us. “The other rifts have moved before. We knew this one probably would at some point too. Anyone who can move quickly, spread out and search. Report back if you locate it. They haven’t usually traveled far from their previous position.”
The assistants dart into the shadows. Zian and Riva dash off while still in physical form, relying on their supernaturally enhanced speed.
I scan the horizon, even though I have no hope of spotting the rift when I could barely make it out right in front of me.
Peri shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Should I go too?” She glances down at the creature she was soothing.
Raze makes a dismissive grunt and steps toward her with his usual protective stance. “There are lots of beings already looking. Someone should stay and monitor the situation here too.”
Hail materializes nearby, his face already set in a scowl. “What’s the sudden fuss out—” His gaze jars to a halt where the rift used to be. “Oh. We’re chasing the damn thing now.”
“Catch it if we can!” Mirage declares, emerging after the winter fae with a short laugh. He hops into a handstand as if he thinks he might be able to spot the rift better upside down.
I glance at the trailers, narrowing my mind to the practicalities with my renewed sense of purpose. We’re going to need to move these to the new location. We only have a couple of vehicles to haul them, so it’ll take a few trips. And then…
Before I can finish working out the logistics, one of Rollick’s assistants pops back into view. She speaks breathlessly. “It’s jumped almost a whole mile. All the way over by the edge of the city.”
My spine stiffens. “It’s that close?”
She nods, her mouth twisting unhappily. “Right next to one of the factories just outside the city limits. There’ll be all kinds of people passing by.”
Fuck. Any satisfaction I’d gathered disintegrates.
We can’t put the trailers right next to any buildings in human use, at least not close enough to easily monitor the rift.
How are we going to contain this unnerving portal when it’s right on top of the people we’re trying to protect?