26. CHAPTER 26 #2
“That we are.” I gave him a wink, and he reached over and kissed my forehead.
“You guys make me sick.”
I chuckled lightly, though it felt somewhat heavier inside.
That was something she used to say to Alex and me.
I didn’t miss him—well, I did, but only as a friend.
I realized long before Zane that Alex and I were toxic for each other romantically.
I wasn’t sure how we could move beyond this.
Alex had always been my anchor when we were younger.
When my mom died, he comforted me through my tears and panic.
We hurt each other in ways I didn’t think we could truly mend.
“I am going to go play bean bag toss. Would you like to join?” Zane asked me before standing up.
“I am good, I’ll sit and catch up with Lili.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head before walking off across the field to join some other Drusearons.
“Soooo, how are you really?” she asked me, in that knowing tone.
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah… that’s what I thought. Not so great.”
“I am fine. Or I will be—”
“Famous words from the Savage.”
I let out a little laugh as she said that little nickname she had for me, reminding me that I was a savage and strong.
I knew there would be death, and I knew teammates would die, but when it happened, it didn’t mean it wasn’t hard.
“To die in training is to graduate into legend.” She recited a traditional Rider’s saying, reminding me that each cadet was still honored.
“Honestly, death isn’t the heaviest thing on my mind. It’s the letters I found from my mom. They were confusing and left me with so many questions that keep circling in my brain, never shutting the fuck up.”
“You have always struggled with shutting your mind down. Are you practicing your breathing and other coping skills? ”
“Yes, always. A lot is going on, making everything I am learning harder to practice. I will be fine, I promise.”
“Yeah, you have always said that, and somehow you end up doing reckless shit.”
“I won’t try to sneak into any dragon vales…”
“Or get into any unnecessary fights with bigger people?”
“Um, I can’t promise that. Some people want me dead around here.”
“Or get stumbling drunk and have a—”
“Hey-uh. I get it, you’re worried. I survived when you left, I will be a-o-fucking-kay.”
“You always say that.” Lili gave me a look, the one that said she wasn’t buying it for a second. Before I could answer, a shadow fell across the table.
“Some things never change,” Alex said, voice edged with something I couldn’t name. He stood there in his cadet blacks, a drink in one hand, eyes fixed on me like we were the only two people on the field.
My heart gave a stupid little lurch—memory and muscle reflex tangled up together. I hated that he still had that effect on me.
Lili’s eyes flicked between us, narrowing to a sharp edge. “Alex.” Her voice landed flat, heavy with warning.
“Lili.” His gaze never left mine. “Can I sit?”
“Yes,” she said.
“No,” I said at the same time.
That old, dangerous mix of familiarity and unfinished business tightened around us like a noose. He sat down like he hadn’t actually asked a question, his eyes darting from Lili to mine.
“Do you need something?” I asked, giving him a stare down.
“No, not really. I figured I would stop and say hello while your bodyguard isn’t here—”
“He’s not my bodyguard. Gods.”
“Yeah, yeah, your mate, whatever.”
“I feel like I should go get a drink and let you both get out whatever you need to say,” Lili announced.
I shot her a look, furious at how she could even consider leaving me here with him.
Before I could say anything, she spun around and walked away, leaving us sitting across from each other at the table, staring in silence.
“Well, our buffer is gone… so that’s fun.”
He laughed. “Who are you kidding, with or without her, you’ve never cared to say what you want.”
“That’s fair…”
“Look, I am mad, and I am working on it,” he said, looking across the field at Zane.
“You are the first female I was with, the first person outside my family I loved.
I hoped we would grow older and mature, eventually finding our way back to each other.
I thought we would start anew when I returned from summer break, now that we're both here. But you rejected me, and my world shattered when Zane told me about you and him being mated. I will always love you, accepting that it will only be as friends.”
His words sat between us like a live wire—dangerous to touch, impossible to ignore.
“Alex…” I hated how soft my voice sounded. “We were bad for each other. We burned too hot, too fast, and we both got scorched. You know that.”
He gave a half-smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Doesn’t make the fire any less beautiful.”
My chest tightened. For a heartbeat, I was seventeen again, pressed against the cold rookery wall with his jacket around my shoulders. As quickly as those thoughts came, I also remembered every fight, every bruise we left on each other’s hearts.
“Zane makes me better.” The words scraped out at last, heavy on my tongue.
Alex nodded once, sharp, like he’d been expecting that answer but still hated hearing it. “And I make you worse.”
“That’s not what I—”
“It’s fine, Ella. Really.” But his knuckles whitened around his cup, and the muscles in his jaw worked like he was chewing down something bitter. “Please… don’t disappear completely, alright? ”
I didn’t promise. I simply stared at him, and for a moment, we were both too stubborn to look away.
The cheer from the field rolled over us, and my head turned before I stopped it.
Zane was laughing with his teammates, cheeks flushed, hair wind-tossed.
His eyes found mine—then Alex’s—and the smile faltered hardly enough for me to notice.
Alex leaned back in his chair like he owned the space between us. “Here comes the bodyguard,” he murmured, not trying to hide the edge in his voice.
“Don’t start,” I warned.
“Who’s starting? I’m only saying… he looks ready to defend his claim.”
“I’m not—” I stopped myself. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted in front of others, but Alex’s eyes were now fixed on Zane, as if he was watching a storm approaching and challenging it to strike.
Zane reached us with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Everything good here?”
“Yeah,” Alex said. “Merely catching up. Been a while since I got to talk to her without you stealing all her time”
Zane huffed out a laugh, clapping a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t steal. She likes me better.”
Alex’s smirk twitched, but he didn’t take the bait.
“Come on, Anam Cara,” Zane said, tilting his head toward the field. “Walk with me. They’re starting another round.”
I got up, brushing my palms on my pants. “See you around, Alex.”
“Yeah,” he said, but his gaze stayed on Zane for a beat too long.
We headed toward the bean bag toss in an easy silence. Zane’s hand brushed mine—steady, grounding, not a claim. “He’s fine,” Zane said at last, as if answering the question I hadn’t asked. “We’ve got years between us. I know where we stand.”
“And where’s that?” I asked.
“He’s my friend. You’re my mate. That’s not changing. It will all work out.” His tone was warm, confident, but I could hear the layer beneath it—like he was shoring up a wall before the storm really hit .
The music drifted across the courtyard, lilting strings mingling with the rhythmic stomp of boots on stone. Lanterns swayed overhead, throwing warm gold light over the crowd. Zane twirled me beneath his arm, the grin on his face making my heart skip.
“You’re getting better,” he teased, one hand steady at my back.
“I’ve had a good teacher,” I shot back, letting him spin me again.
Across the courtyard, Lili danced with a pair of younger cadets, laughing so hard she nearly tripped over her own boots.
Sadie was nearby, dancing closely with a female cadet.
Alex was somewhere in the crowd, moving stiffly to the beat like he’d been dragged there under protest. The air was sweet with spiced cider and roasting meat, the kind of night where you almost forgot the weight of the day. Almost.
Then the shadow fell.
It swept over the courtyard like a cloud blotting out the moon—fast, silent at first, until the wind hit.
A rush of air slammed into us, tearing through the lantern lines and sending them spinning wildly.
Shouts rose as a dragon dropped lower, the glint of red scales catching torchlight.
The dragon’s wings beat hard enough to scatter tables and send mugs of cider crashing to the ground.
“Down!” someone yelled.
Zane yanked me in close, shielding me as a gust knocked dancers off their feet.
The dragon banked sharply above, the force of its turn toppling a row of chairs.
Sparks leapt from a shattered lantern, setting a nearby banner alight.
Panic surged through the crowd—cadets shoving to clear the square, instructors shouting orders no one could hear over the roar of wings.
Somewhere in the chaos, I caught a glimpse of Lili grabbing a younger cadet out of the path of a falling canopy beam.
Zane’s grip tightened. “Stay with me.”
The dragon wheeled once more overhead, and in its wake the courtyard dissolved into a storm of light, shadow, and the kind of fear that sat deep in your bones.
The crowd surged as the dragon dipped low again, its roar splitting the night in two.
Zane’s hand was an anchor in the flood of bodies—until someone slammed into us from behind .
His grip tore free from mine.