Chapter Twelve
Liam had planned out his time at Trinity and what he’d expected to happen shortly thereafter.
Thus far, everything had gone according to plan.
He’d graduated, been accepted into the Institution of Civil Engineers of Ireland, and even had two different internship opportunities presented to him.
Both were located in Dublin, which wasn’t surprising, it being one of the principal cities of Ireland.
He likely could’ve had offers in Belfast if he’d made any inquiries there.
Everything he’d hoped for was happening.
But he felt discouraged, unfulfilled. And he couldn’t sort out why.
He wandered about Dublin for a few days, mulling the opportunities before him, attempting to shake the heaviness from his mind. In the end, he knew there was nothing for it but to go get the advice he needed. And thus, he found himself once more in Howth.
He arrived much later in the day than he had on his previous visit. Rather than going to the docks to find his da, he went directly to the humble seaside cottage where he had grown up. His da answered his knock, and Liam was immediately pulled inside by one of his bone-crushing hugs.
“Hadn’t expected to see you here so soon, lad,” Da said. “Sit by the fire, do. ’Tis a wet one today.”
“It certainly is,” Liam answered.
Da shook his head. “You still sound very Dublin, my boy. You should spend a few days out here, see if you can’t get it a bit of country back in your voice.”
“Oddly enough, I’m rather inclined to take up the offer. For the first time in years, I find myself reluctant to go back to Dublin.”
Da took up his pipe and leaned back in his chair with a look Liam knew well. He was meant to spill his budget and do so fully.
There was nothing for it but to talk. “Everything has worked out the way I’d hoped. I finished my schooling, received the honors I was hoping for. I have a chance for a good job in a profession I enjoy. I could settle myself in a nice area of Dublin. Live comfortably. That’s everything I wanted.”
“But?”
Liam held his hands up in a show of uncertainty. “I’m not as happy about it as I expected to be.”
“Why is that, do you suppose?”
Liam rose from the chair he had only just sat in and moved to the fireplace, leaning against the mantel. “I’m not certain. I’ve been trying to sort it out, but so far, I don’t have a lot of answers.”
Da didn’t look the least concerned. Liam knew his da was not an unfeeling person, which meant he must not have thought the problem was as large as it loomed in front of Liam.
“And what happened with the confusing colleen you spoke to me about last time you were here?” he asked.
“She went home,” he said.
“And where is home?”
Liam paced away. “A little village called Kinnelow in County Wicklow.”
“Could it be that Dublin’s lost its appeal because your heart has wandered out to the country?”
Liam shook his head as he paced. “We don’t know each other as well as all that,” he said. “I spent a few afternoons in her company, that’s all. Enough to be intrigued and interested, perhaps, but not enough to be in love.”
“That’s city talk, that. I knew I loved your ma the second time I saw her.
Granted, I didn’t know how much. But I was full aware that she’d found a place in m’ heart, and until I sorted what that place looked like and how large it might grow, how permanent it might be, nothing in m’ life was satisfying any longer.
That question rested heavy on my soul. And a soul that’s weighed down can’t be at peace. ”
“You’re telling me that having all my dreams come true feels shallow because I’m not sure if I love Winnie?”
Da scratched at the hair on the back of his head. “You know, for having had such a fine education, you emerged an utter muttonhead.”
He never was one to mince words. But what was it he found so thickheaded about Liam’s approach to his current predicament?
“I founded a student club on campus for people who solve problems and mysteries, who find clues to puzzles and can unravel riddles easily. I’m struggling with this one, and you’re not proving overly helpful at the moment.”
“Perhaps that’s because you’re not proving very willing to listen.”
While it wasn’t a pleasant accusation, Liam couldn’t argue it wasn’t at least somewhat justified. He sat in his chair once more, facing his da. “Help me sort it. I may simply be too close to the riddle to see the answer.”
“Let me tell you a story, my boy.” Da worked at his pipe as he spoke.
“When I was younger than you, I met a lass. She was beautiful, clever, the sort who turned all the boys’ heads.
I met her at a county hiring fair. We were both looking for work and both managed to find it.
The position she found would’ve taken her away from home, and she was heartbroken at the idea.
The one I secured would’ve placed me far from her, which I found decidedly uncomfortable.
Yes, I’d only met her the day before. We’d only spent time together the previous afternoon and the morning we were hired, but ’twas enough to know there was something that hung in the air between us.
It was something I didn’t want to let go of.
In the end, she couldn’t bear to accept the job she’d been offered, and she returned home.
I did what most would consider remarkably foolish and refused the job I had received. ”
“You gave up a position?”
Da nodded. “And I followed her home.”
“Are we talking of Ma, then?”
Again, he nodded. “She was from Howth. And while I knew very little of the sea, I took up work on a fishing boat. I learned what I could and made a place for myself, all the while coming to know her better. In time, I courted her properly. It wasn’t what I expected to make of m’ life or where I expected to live.
But I knew, no matter where I went, that if it wasn’t with her, I’d never be truly happy. ”
“Are you telling me that I should give up the offers in Dublin to go to Kinnelow? The town is too small for me to do anything there.”
“I’m not telling you what to do, son. I’m telling you what I did, and that I don’t regret it.
You fancy yourself a solver of mysteries, but this lass keeps confounding you.
You tend to think that a mystery has only one answer.
And I keep telling you that, with people, ’tis never that simple.
Think beyond what you’ve let yourself imagine.
The answer lies in those gray areas you tend to forget exist.”
Liam thought on that as the evening went on.
He spun the idea in his mind as they ate their supper of fresh-caught fish.
He reminisced with his da about the people they knew and the things they’d seen in the days he’d been with him out on the sea.
And even as they spoke, Liam thought and pondered.
Lying on a cot in the loft of his family cottage, the first inklings of an idea began to form.
Kinnelow, as he understood it, was not terribly far from Bray.
The new railroad ran from Dublin to Bray.
And while Bray didn’t rival the size or opportunities of Dublin, it was not a tiny country village.
With the arrival of the railroad, the town was growing.
They would need builders and architects and engineers.
It would not pay what a position in Dublin would.
It certainly would not be so prestigious.
But he would inarguably enjoy it. Being part of a town that was growing rather than one that was established would be exciting.
Being in Bray would place him nearer to Kinnelow, nearer to Winnie.
Being close by would allow them the opportunity to discover if there was a reason to believe they could build a life together.
He didn’t have that answer, but maybe he didn’t need it yet.
Maybe he simply needed to take a step closer.
Da had followed the woman he loved to the place where she needed to be. Fate had done the rest.
Liam didn’t know if he would be so fortunate, but he was absolutely certain that, unless he tried, he would live the rest of his life wondering what might have been.