Chapter 10 #2
It had to of been something that pissed Aubry off to the max. I looked down at his dusty brown knuckles and cringed when I saw the purple bruising. He beat Ashley’s ass, but why? What the fuck did that bitch do to my baby? Rage consumed me, I felt my left eye twitch.
I took a step back to place space between Aubry and I for both of our protection. Lolani was downstairs eating cookies and drinking milk with her poppa. I didn’t want to ruin the moment fighting with Aubry. Unlike Ashley, I didn’t mind going toe to toe with Aubry.
He loved our daughter just as much as I did besides his disgusting selfish ways. Lolani was a true daddy’s girl, that was the one thing I could give Aubry. He loved on our baby and put her first even when he kept her from me.
“What the fuck happened?” I said slowly.
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what the fuck I mean! You coming here on a Monday after keeping Lo Lo from me for weeks. No business clothes? Lo Lo isn’t at school…
tell me what the fuck did that bitch do to my daughter for you to be standing in my room talking about us and divorcing Ashley? !” I gritted each word out.
My heart accelerated, I took in a deep breath and welcomed the comfort that it brought me momentarily.
“First calm down, I handled Ashley…she can’t hurt my baby no more.” He said lowly looking away from me.
It felt like he gut punched me. I took steps backwards until the back of my legs hit my bed. I took a seat and hugged myself. I didn’t have to have the details; all I heard was the word hurt.
“I fucked up and I’m sorry, I didn’t see the fucking signs Truly. I thought she loved our baby.” His voice cracked.
“What happened Aubry, sit over on the chaise because I can’t have you close to me right now.” I swallowed down the lump that rose in my throat again.
“I’m sorry, Truly.”
I quickly looked up at him and really saw the sorrow etched in his brown eyes. His sorrows wouldn’t fix the years of hell he put me through. It sure as hell wouldn’t fix whatever damage was done to our baby because of him hurting me by keeping her away through court obligations.
“You should have been sorry after she was born…there’s no need to cry over spoiled milk that I wouldn’t dare drink. Tell me, Aubry.” I slowly rocked back and forth.
Aubry sighed, turned, then went back to the chaise. Once he was seated, he ran his hands down his face. That was another sign that whatever he was about to say was going to hurt me and send my anger into overdrive.
“A month ago, she caught me fucking this chick from work at a hotel…I forgot to turn off my phone’s location.” He stated casually.
I rolled my eyes because it was the nerve of him per usual to want me to himself while he had a wife and a slew of other women.
“I saw a change in her then but only towards me. A week later, I noticed a change in Lo Lo. She’d cry hard before bedtime.
Not wanting Ashley to read her a bedtime story which was crazy.
Lo Lo loves the way Ashely animates her voice when reading to her at night.
Then two weeks ago during dinner, Lo Lo flinched hard when Ashley set her plate in front of her.
I asked Ashley what the fuck was that about and she played dumb.
” He shut his eyes and shook his head hard from side to side.
My palms grew slick from sweat when it was always cold in each room courtesy of my mom. She had been going through menopause and kept the AC on low all day. My anger was molten hot; I rocked aggressively back and forth then blinked my eyes harder in his direction.
“After Lo Lo ate dinner, I wanted to talk to her in private. I know she not talking in full complete sentences, but you know we can ask her questions, and she understands yes, and no. Ashley made a big deal about her being a woman and how she should be the one to bathe Lo Lo—”
“I’m gone beat that bitch ass!” I seethed the words out.
“I almost beat her down where she stood, but I needed to get Lo Lo alone to ask her my questions.” His Adams apple bobbed which told me he was getting mad all over again saying it all out loud.
“I didn’t have to ask Lo Lo questions…Once she was in the bathroom and undressed…” His words trailed off painfully.
He shut his eyes tight for seconds that felt like long minutes.
“A-Aubry?” My voice cracked.
He opened his eyes and my heart cracked into tiny pieces. Big crocodile tears rolled down his face. A low weak sob escaped his mouth; my entire body went still as my stomach dropped like I had been pushed off the highest building.
“B-bruises,” he shook his head in denial. “There were bruises on her upper arms, her lower back and stomach.” He coughed violently.
Blood dripped from my nose, I was overwhelmed. It was my stress response since a kid when things became too much for me to bear. I stared into his cold face and felt sick to my core.
“That’s why you stop answering the phone…you didn’t bring her too me because you were trying to hide the bruises from me.” A strained cry left my mouth as I looked away.
“I didn’t want you to lose it…I did that for the both of us and if I didn’t scare her enough with reporting her, I’d be going to jail…so far, she haven’t reported her discharge papers to the police. I feel like this is my karma…”
“Don’t you fucking dare, Aubry. Don’t try to manipulate me into feeling sorry for how the fuck you feel. Our daughter getting abuse by that bitch is not your karma.” I gritted out.
“I’m sick, Truly.” More tears dropped from his eyes.
I knew he felt sick, he would never forgive himself and I didn’t give a fuck about none of that.
“If you never took her away, none of this shit would’ve happened, Aubry. I’m so angry I could grab my fucking gun and shoot you…” I threatened.
I didn’t bother pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the bleeding. All I saw was red.
“I know, I fucked up. Fuck the courts, the custody battle, and everything else. I want to make it right. I got an apartment; I want you to move in with me and Lo Lo… we can work something out and take things slowly.”
His words were comical to me. He slowly back handed his tears away, his sorrowful look got replaced with determination.
How was it that easy for men to leave one situation and try to jump headfirst into another?
Maybe it was because I never cut off our ongoing situation to begin with.
Aubry was confident in his words. He already felt victorious like this should have been a big opportunity for me.
The only good thing about him mentioning us was Lo Lo. I couldn’t keep going out like this… Yeah…it’s time to break the chains that he got on me.
“I can’t let you continue to ruin me, Aubry… if you said this shit a year ago, I’d be dumb enough to go along with it. I’d probably be happy as hell and jump for joy to have you back. Now, I don’t want you. I want my daughter—”
“In order to have her, you’ll have me…fall back in love with me.” He cut me off abruptly.
Who the fuck do he really think he is? I asked myself; I shook my head in disbelief.
“You drugged me weeks ago, Aubry.” I stated lowly.
“I gave you ecstasy to enjoy me…I hate when you get all in your feelings when we fuck. I just gave you something to loosen up.” He admitted.
The look on his face said that he’d do it again if he had to. I became disgusted with myself for ever falling in love with this man.
“Your manipulative, and abusive…You’re not the man that I fell in love with when we were young.” I confessed as more blood from my nose seeped into my night shirt.
“I can go get help.” He stated, with a slight edge of desperateness.
“That won’t work either, Aubry. Because of you, our daughter got secretly abused because of the hate that your wife had for me being your child’s mother…
because of her unfaithful husband not being able to keep his community having dick in his pants.
I’m sick of you, tired of being subjected and controlled by you. ” I sighed and laughed mechanically.
“You ain’t got shit, and you can’t go against me in court.” His voice elevated.
Ahh there goes the real him!
“You should feel honored, cause on some real shit you lazy as fuck. Me wanting you, is like taking on another kid. You’re not stable, and not a good role model for my Lo Lo.” He sniped.
“I got five thousand dollars saved…” I smiled tightly.
“Once I save up enough money from doing hair, I’ll be able to get my own place. I’ll be able to show the courts that I am a stable fit parent. I’ll take your dumb ass back to court and at least get fifty-fifty in custody.” I quickly stood to my feet.
“I’m going to saw off the chain that you keep wrapped around me... When it comes to my daughter and my pussy, you will no longer fuck with me.” I spat.
Shamelessly, I took off my night shirt and used it to wipe the blood off my chest, mouth, and nose.
“I love you, Truly.” He uttered firmly.
“I loved you too, I was super in love with you…loved you more than I did myself. My love was never enough for you. I overlooked a lot and always used the little bit of good you showed from your parenting to Lo Lo to blind myself to all the bad and ugly that radiates off of you. You can threaten me; talk to me all fucked up and try to make me feel low… none of that shit will work anymore… the only thing that has kept you hitting this was you using our daughter against me…keeping her from me really sped up the process of me getting over you. Fuck closure, and fuck knowing the why’s…
I just want to see my daughter more so she can feel my love like she gets to feel yours.
” I spat out with so much conviction I felt high.
I felt high off of courage, it felt like the bricks that weighed me down had been lifted up off of me. I stunned Aubry to silence, and I rejoiced in it. I silently moved around my room with him sitting in the same spot sulking and probably plotting.
“Oh and, Aubry,” I turned and waited for him to look up at me before continuing. “Next to that fake flower, I installed a camera.” I lied smoothly.
“Calissi loves to come in my room and steal my things.” I smirked evilly.
“That camera is connected to my phone so when I leave, I can watch my room and listen to what the fuck is going on. It’s something like a ring camera; I can save and process footage.
You just admitted to your wife abusing my daughter which makes you unstable as fuck to have custody full time. ” I raised both arched eyebrows at him.
“I guess we can say fuck the courts after all…the only difference is I’m not fucked up like you…I’d never keep our daughter away because I know how much she loves you.”
“That was Ashely, not me! It wouldn’t hold in court.” He spat.
Maybe he was right, I searched my brain quickly then continued my antagonizing smirk.
“That may be true, but…you also admitted to drugging me as well.”
His bottom lip hit the floor.
“Stop fucking with me, the threats stop…all the bullshit that you do stops!”
Fuck him and his feelings… I thought before grabbing my clothes for the day and walking out of my room to handle my hygiene so I could be with my Lo Lo.
Sure enough, I knew that Aubry was searching his brain to go up against me just because he wanted to control me.
He could call my bluff, but something inside of me whispered he wouldn’t.
The surprised look in his eyes, told me that he believed every word I said about the camera being planted in my room. I just hoped that my little big lie would bring a little bit more peace and time with my Lo Lo.