Chapter 4
Four
Jaclyn
Present
The Lego Movie is playing on the TV while Junior rests his head on my lap.
Brandon is sitting next to me, munching on popcorn. I still haven’t told him about the assignment that Jules gave me. He was too busy worrying about my health to care what she wanted to talk to me about.
Junior is slowly falling asleep and I just don’t want to talk to Brandon about it until he is for sure sleeping. He is slowly getting there as I rub his back.
“Are you still mad at me?” Brandon asks.
I look away from the TV and at him. “No, I just have to tell you something.” I look down at Junior really quick and see that his eyes are slowly falling.
Brandon looks at Junior and then back at me. “You want me to put him in his room?” Brandon offers.
I shake my head and move hair out of Junior’s face. His hair grows really fast. He got a cut two weeks away and it’s already growing back so much. Junior’s eyes finally close so I hold him closer to me and stand up with him in my arms.
I walk inside his room and put him on his bed. I cover him with his blankets and make sure to tuck him in. I rest his stuffed Simba next to him because he loves sleeping with it.
I lean down and press my lips to his forehead and then cheek. “Goodnight, baby,” I whisper before kissing him once more and then standing up.
I walk out of his room and go to the living room where Brandon is waiting for me.
“What’s wrong?” Brandon asks as I sit next to him.
I grab my laptop from the coffee table and rest it on my lap. I type in the words “Hayden Night” on Google and click the link where it shows his fight that’s happening in a few days.
A fight I will be attending and where I’ll be interviewing him.
I turn the laptop around to show Brandon and his eyes turn into slits as he glares at the picture of Hayden with the fight’s information.
“Why are you showing me this douchebag?”
“Because I have to interview him this Friday.”
“You’re going to his fight?” Brandon sits up and his eyes turn wide. “Why?”
“Jules got in contact with his agent and she’s making me go to the fight and interview him afterwards.”
“She can’t have someone else do it?”
I turn the laptop to me and look at the picture of Hayden.
For the past five years, he has changed so much. His hair is shorter, his face has matured more, and he also got bigger.
I try my best not to pay attention to ads that pop up with him shirtless on billboards and his name is big red letters. Seeing him always affects me because how can it not?
He was my world five years ago. He was someone I looked forward to seeing every day and he was someone I would spend all my time with.
Every now and then my heart and body wish I could just pick up the phone and call him but then the memories of that night haunt me and stop me from doing something stupid.
“No, she threatened to fire me and then also gave me a pay raise for doing this interview. She really wants me to do it and I can’t say no when she was going to fire me and then also gave me a pay raise.”
“Did you even explain to her what kind of person this guy is and how much he affects you?” Brandon raises an eyebrow at me and I just shake my head. “You need to tell her.”
“What’s done is done Brandon. I’m going to do the interview. I’ll be okay.” I put the laptop on the coffee table and bring my knees to my chest to hold them. “I’m just scared of telling him about Junior. I have to tell him.”
“No you don’t. Junior is your son, not his.”
“Hayden is his biological father. He needs to know he has a mini him out in the world.”
I’m just so scared of telling him. Hayden won’t be happy if he were to find out. I don’t want to tell Hayden because that would mean giving up my peaceful life with Junior away from him and the media.
Plus I’ve heard rumors about how Hayden is living his life as one of New York’s most eligible bachelors though there is a possibility of marriage for him with this one rich model.
Knowing Hayden is possibly getting married breaks my heart, which is why I hate thinking about it.
It’s a recent rumor that came up and I know rumors aren’t always true but everyone seems to believe that this rumor isn't very much of a rumor.
Hayden comes with fame and fame can be ugly.
“So you’re really doing this?” Brandon asks.
I nod my head. “Yea.”
“How do you feel about it?”
“Scared and nervous. I haven’t seen him in person in five years. We’ve both changed so much. I’m not the same girl he fell in love with and I’m sure he’s changed just as much as me.”
I have no clue how I’ll react to seeing him in person. I wish I could know how he’d react.
Will he still be mad at how we left things? Will he ignore me and not even answer my questions? Will he be pissed and start yelling at me about why I left him?
Not knowing the unknown feels like the worst feeling in the world.
“You’ll be okay. Are you ever going to tell Junior about Hayden?”
Junior sometimes asks me why he doesn’t have a dad like all the other kids in school and he even asked me if Brandon was his dad.
I tell him that his dad is somewhere in the world, saving people like a hero in the movies. I told him that Brandon is just his best friend.
I can’t use the hero excuse forever though, I know that.
I know that one day I have to tell him I kept him away from his dad in order to protect him. But I just hate how mad Junior will possibly be because if he’s anything like his dad, he will be pissed.
But that’s why I keep him away from Hayden before he is old enough to realize what I’m doing.
“I will. I just don’t know when or how.” I look at Brandon and give him a reassuring smile. “But it’ll be okay. I got this.”